Nora's Bad Day
By Feen
Once upon a time in a "warped atmophere" beyond reasoning, there lived a woman who was loved and tossed aside by the men who once kissed her feet. She thought she had it made when the man she cheated with wrote up some outlandish papers saying that their son belonged to her third husband, whom she always felt a connection. The woman, who felt the need to act like a saint when the shades were up, decided she wanted to pay her ex-husband a visit on the eve of menstral cycle, and not knowing, of course, that her main nemesis would be preparing afternoon tea.
Meanwhile, her son was sitting in the car waiting for his mom to get her fat butt out the door. He never commented on his mother's chunkiness because he loved the thought of getting presents on special Jewish holidays. When the woman sat down in the front seat, the car tilted a bit to the left and the little boy giggled softly. The car started up and backed into a tree stump and scraped the bottom of her car. The ever aging woman, couldn't keep her bad words to herself. Left and right, she yelled obscenities that young ears should not hear. When her monstrous foot stepped out of the car, it landed in large pile of dog poop and she screamed with disgust. The dark haired boy knew that a trip to his favorite commissioner's house wasn't going to happen anytime soon.
On the brighter side of town, wearing an exuberant smile and a commissioner in her arms, the fine and elegant Argentinian style editor of the Banner, was sipping tea and kissing her beloved in all the right places. "How did I get so lucky?," the beautiful lady, in her blue wrap-around blouse, asked. The handsome devil looked at her before going in for another kiss, "I'm the lucky one." The phone started to vibrate between them. "Oh, I see you took my advice," the man was about to answer it, but the beautiful flower shook her head, "Just let it ring. I'm rather enjoying it." The commissioner grinned and welcomed a soft long kiss.
Traveling with the windows rolled all the way, because the air conditioner blew out, the already ratty looking hag sped her way to her destination. She reached "1414 Lovers Lane" and jumped out of the car and landing on the sidewalk. "Son of a--," she cursed as her son said, "I hope he still has my Game Boy," and running past his scraped up mother. She sat there for a minute, hoping the sexy man in apartment 38 would peak out the window and see her there, but an army of fire ants crawled up her skirt. "Holy Shhhhhh," she shouted from the top of her lungs. The pathetic outcast jumped up and realized her gurdle was on wrong and that she'd forgotten to use fabric softener on her already tacky skirt. Just as the schlumpy woman thought things couldn't get any worse, the clouds moved in and the sky grew dark. The wind changed and the rain poured as the thunder and lightning put on their show.
Looking up at the sky, her eyes slightly shut, with the rain pounding on her face, she said, "Why God? Why do you hate me so much? Is it because the whole town kisses my butt because I'm a lawyer? Or is it because I'm Nora Hanen Gannon Bucha--" Before she could finish her sentence, lightning struck the old biddie causing her to die.
Which proves my theory....God is a Bo and Gabrielle fan:)
*ENDING NOTE: If you didn't understand who the other characters were in this story, then you must not be a citizen of Llanview.
The End
By Feen
Once upon a time in a "warped atmophere" beyond reasoning, there lived a woman who was loved and tossed aside by the men who once kissed her feet. She thought she had it made when the man she cheated with wrote up some outlandish papers saying that their son belonged to her third husband, whom she always felt a connection. The woman, who felt the need to act like a saint when the shades were up, decided she wanted to pay her ex-husband a visit on the eve of menstral cycle, and not knowing, of course, that her main nemesis would be preparing afternoon tea.
Meanwhile, her son was sitting in the car waiting for his mom to get her fat butt out the door. He never commented on his mother's chunkiness because he loved the thought of getting presents on special Jewish holidays. When the woman sat down in the front seat, the car tilted a bit to the left and the little boy giggled softly. The car started up and backed into a tree stump and scraped the bottom of her car. The ever aging woman, couldn't keep her bad words to herself. Left and right, she yelled obscenities that young ears should not hear. When her monstrous foot stepped out of the car, it landed in large pile of dog poop and she screamed with disgust. The dark haired boy knew that a trip to his favorite commissioner's house wasn't going to happen anytime soon.
On the brighter side of town, wearing an exuberant smile and a commissioner in her arms, the fine and elegant Argentinian style editor of the Banner, was sipping tea and kissing her beloved in all the right places. "How did I get so lucky?," the beautiful lady, in her blue wrap-around blouse, asked. The handsome devil looked at her before going in for another kiss, "I'm the lucky one." The phone started to vibrate between them. "Oh, I see you took my advice," the man was about to answer it, but the beautiful flower shook her head, "Just let it ring. I'm rather enjoying it." The commissioner grinned and welcomed a soft long kiss.
Traveling with the windows rolled all the way, because the air conditioner blew out, the already ratty looking hag sped her way to her destination. She reached "1414 Lovers Lane" and jumped out of the car and landing on the sidewalk. "Son of a--," she cursed as her son said, "I hope he still has my Game Boy," and running past his scraped up mother. She sat there for a minute, hoping the sexy man in apartment 38 would peak out the window and see her there, but an army of fire ants crawled up her skirt. "Holy Shhhhhh," she shouted from the top of her lungs. The pathetic outcast jumped up and realized her gurdle was on wrong and that she'd forgotten to use fabric softener on her already tacky skirt. Just as the schlumpy woman thought things couldn't get any worse, the clouds moved in and the sky grew dark. The wind changed and the rain poured as the thunder and lightning put on their show.
Looking up at the sky, her eyes slightly shut, with the rain pounding on her face, she said, "Why God? Why do you hate me so much? Is it because the whole town kisses my butt because I'm a lawyer? Or is it because I'm Nora Hanen Gannon Bucha--" Before she could finish her sentence, lightning struck the old biddie causing her to die.
Which proves my theory....God is a Bo and Gabrielle fan:)
*ENDING NOTE: If you didn't understand who the other characters were in this story, then you must not be a citizen of Llanview.
The End