Severus Snape Journal Entry, September 29th - night
Life can be evil. More times than not. I had retreated to the windowsill in the west corridor, where the view for people watching is prime. My thoughts had dwindled down to the few things he could never stop thinking about. The room had become silent, and my body numb... then that damn Potter came barreling down the hall, waking the dead with his shrill and resonant voice. If I had a Galleon for every time that boy said something completely mental, I'd be a millionaire.
But what caught me off guard, was that he was calling to Lily...
She must've been walking down the hall at that moment. He came in asking her for a date, just as I knew he would. Except, Lily didn't say no. She didn't see through him the way I had imagined she would. How can she stand to be around someone so emotionally attached to himself, and have no room left to love anyone else?
But she said it... and I heard the whole thing. I saw her looking at the floor when Potter left through the reflection in the window. I couldn't bear it.
Now I'm here, feeling sick to my stomach. I won't go to class like this.
Diagon Alley, September 30th - evening
Lily and James walked down the narrow streets of Diagon Alley in search of something entertaining for the both of them to do together. Lily would have taken it as somewhat of an insult that James had not even considered what they would actually DO on their date, but she found it relaxing to just walk. The evening air was crisp, but refreshing, and though James offered his cloak to her, she liked the feeling of the cool air on her arms.
The shops were turning on their front lights, and the buildings were now blocking out the sunset beyond them. They turned into a quaint little bistro and to Lily's surprise, James had in fact made a reservation there. She couldn't help but giggle when they sat down.
"That was pretty clever." She admitted.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it." James replied.
"What will you have?" the waiter asked.
Lily hadn't even picked up a menu yet, but there was no need. James began spouting off several different dishes that were his personal favorites, and ordered a big pitcher of butter beer for them both. The waiter nodded and took their menus.
Lily blinked.
"Oh, I hope you don't mind that I ordered. I know you're just going to love them!" said James happily.
Well then, Lily thought, this should be interesting...
James didn't say much in between large gulps of butter beer. Lily would tease him when he would drink so much that the foam would leave a little mustache on his upper lip.
By the time Lily poured herself a second cup of butter beer, James had already had 4, and the pitcher was filled not but a drop.
Lily smiled weakly. The cuteness of James' beer mustache was wearing thin. This is going to be a long night...
Hogwarts School - Gryffindor Common Room, September 30th - early morning
Lily and her friend Onya sat in front of the fireplace after Lily's date with James.
"So it must've been somewhat fun. I mean, you stayed out pretty late!" Onya commented after listening to Lily mumble things, trying to explain.
"Eh, yeah, it wasn't bad." said Lily, bored.
"Oh, come on! James is the cutest guy in school, and he asked you out! Tell me SOMETHING!" Onya begged. Lily knew that all of her friends dig James, and it humored her to think that the one person out of the lot that DIDN'T like him, was the one he asked out.
"We were late because he got lost taking us back to Hogwarts." Lily explained. "And, he ended up drinking so much butter beer that he couldn't afford the meals he ordered."
"HE ordered?" Onya asked.
"Yes. He ordered them, I ate them, and I paid for them. He felt really bad afterwards, and I'm pretty sure that's why he got distracted and led us completely off track. I told him it was okay. I mean, it was. I didn't mind the spending of the money... but he hardly had anything to talk about... other than his own life... and when he wasn't talking, he was drinking or asking random wizards for directions." said Lily, and she sighed.
"Oh." replied Onya.
"No, really. It was pretty fun. I was distracted too." said Lily, thinking about something else again.
"Why?" asked Onya.
"Why what?" replied Lily.
"Why were you distracted?" Onya asked, sitting up in her chair, interested.
"Oh, er, school... and stuff."
"Lily, I'd like to think I'm one of your close friends,"
"You are!"
"Then how come you never tell me anything you're thinking about? You can trust me."
"I know... I'm just not sure I know what I'm thinking"
"Well, try. I'll understand even if it doesn't come out right."
"Oh... well, heh, I don't know..."
"Please Lily. I'll tell you something I've not told anyone too."
"Okay"
"Remember last year when Remus was walking down the hall and his robes suddenly flew off and everyone saw that he forgot to wear a shirt that day?"
"Haha, yeah, I remember that"
"Well, Sirius told me that he had forgotten... so I was the one who jinxed his cloak to fly off."
Lily errupted into a fit of giggles, and from the sight of her, Onya began laughing as well.
"Haha, okay... okay, now it's your turn!"
"Oh man... On, you're never going to believe this! I... haha, I've been secretly thinking about this guy..."
"Ooo! Who?? Is he the one who was 'distracting' you while you were out with James?"
"Yeah! Hahaha! I'll give you three guesses!"
"Um, that dorky kid who sits next to us in Herbology?"
"Wormtail!! NO! Hahaha!"
"Ohh! Good! Let's see..."
"I'll give you a hint though, he's not very social!"
"Oh... lessie here... oh! Hahaha! I've got one that'll cook your goose!"
"Who!?"
"That freak-boy! What's his name? Sevie, Sven, Severus? Haha! That would be the day!"
"Eh..."
"Haha... ha... heh... ehh... what?"
Lily cleared her throat uncomfortably.
"Y, you like... Severus? Snape?"
"Heh..."
"Freak-boy?!"
"He's not a freak! He's just quiet! And ever since James came up and made a spectacle by asking me out in the hall in front of him, he hasn't been in class, or in the halls, not even for lunch or dinner! I think he's probably a nice guy once you get to know him."
"What are you talking about!? He's the devil's spawn for God's sake, Lily!"
"Thank you very much for your warmth and support. Goodnight."
With that, Lily ran out the portrait hole and away from the Gryffindor Tower.
Why the hell did I tell her that? I knew she was a flake, and yet I told. Now the whole school will know, not that I'd care, and everyone will laugh at me, not that I'll listen, and I'll be rediculed for the rest of my being, not that I'd live an unhappy life.
So what if I like a weird guy. Most men ARE weird! This one just happens to be more so than some. How can I say that? I don't even know what I'm talking about. All I've ever known about him is that he's quiet, which means he's probably very observant. By seeing him on the windowsill, just gazing, can only mean that he's a deep thinker. We'd have so much more to talk about than I did with Ja-
Lily turned the corner, and there was Severus... sitting on the windowsill. Her mind went blank, and she just stood there, except this time, Severus noticed the sound of footsteps, and when she stopped he turned and looked.
He couldn't stop his eyes from going heavy and making him turn away. He opened them and looked out the window again.
Lily knew that if she didn't just talk to him now, she never would. What's the worst that could happen?
She walked slowly to the windowsill.
"Um," she muttered quietly. Severus looked from out the window to his knees, waiting for her to say something, or maybe just leave... as not to make his detestable thoughts about her and Potter together.
Lily couldn't think of anything to say. What do you say to someone you don't really know, but are completely infatuated with? She felt her cheeks start to heat up, and her knuckles were white from clenching her fists.
They waited in silence for each other to break the ice, and after what felt like an eternity, Lily turned on her heels and started to walk back to Gryffindor Tower... embarrassed.
"Have a fun night with Potter?" called Severus.
Lily turned around and faced Severus, who was now sitting on the windowsill with his legs dangling down towards the floor.
"Not really." Lily replied truthfully. She noticed his eyebrows twitch, but quickly returned to their same expressionless position.
Lily wasn't sure if he was planning to hold a conversation with her or not, but little by little she inched her way back to her original spot looking directly at the window he was sitting in.
"I hear he's quite the lady's man." Severus said sarcastically.
"Yeah, I hear that too." Lily sighed.
"Didn't you think so on your little date?" he asked coldly.
"We had a nice dinner, but overall, I didn't see anything that was worth 8 galleons." Lily said, leaning against a wall, and sliding down so she is now sitting on the stone floor.
"8 galleons? You don't mean to tell me James made you pay for the date?" Severus said trying to keep a straight face, but ultimately amused at the thought.
"Heh, he didn't mean it to happen. Too much butter beer."
"I think that's the saddest thing I've ever heard"
"Agreed"
Severus tried hard to keep a straight face, and he was grateful for the moments Lily looked down at her lap, or out into the corridor so he could sneak a smile in.
"May I inquire as to why you are wandering the halls at this time?" Severus asked in a most professional manner.
"My, my, don't we sound like we're in charge?" Lily replied, a little more playful than she was expecting. "Well... what are YOU doing out so late?"
"I believe I asked you first Miss Evans."
"Uh, well, to be honest, I wasn't too happy with a conversation I was having, so I came out for a little walk."
"I see."
"So, what about you?"
"I see no reason why I can't be here."
"Are you meditating?"
"Homework."
"Oh."
"...why? Did I look like I was meditating?"
"Yes, sort of."
"Oh."
It was a long pause before Lily started to become cold from the stone floor, forcing her to strike up a conversation to keep her mind on something else.
"Why did you miss class today?" she asked.
"I wasn't feeling good."
"Oh... sorry. Was it a headache?"
"A little of everything."
"Ouch. Well, you weren't in lunch or dinner either... did you eat anything today?"
"No."
"Well!" said Lily, getting to her feet. "That's the first problem! You can't go a day without eating! It's like a day without sunshine!"
Lily took a good look at Severus' pale complexion.
"Or something..." she added. "Come on, lets go find something to eat."
Severus didn't move from his windowsill, and Lily got to the end of the hall before she realized she was not being followed. She turned around, walked to the windowsill, and reached out her hand.
Severus just looked at it, as though it were a foreign object, not sure if he was allowed to touch.
Finally Lily didn't feel like waiting anymore, so she grabbed his hand, and softly tugged on his arm until he stood.
Severus followed Lily , hand in hers.
Life can be evil. More times than not. I had retreated to the windowsill in the west corridor, where the view for people watching is prime. My thoughts had dwindled down to the few things he could never stop thinking about. The room had become silent, and my body numb... then that damn Potter came barreling down the hall, waking the dead with his shrill and resonant voice. If I had a Galleon for every time that boy said something completely mental, I'd be a millionaire.
But what caught me off guard, was that he was calling to Lily...
She must've been walking down the hall at that moment. He came in asking her for a date, just as I knew he would. Except, Lily didn't say no. She didn't see through him the way I had imagined she would. How can she stand to be around someone so emotionally attached to himself, and have no room left to love anyone else?
But she said it... and I heard the whole thing. I saw her looking at the floor when Potter left through the reflection in the window. I couldn't bear it.
Now I'm here, feeling sick to my stomach. I won't go to class like this.
Diagon Alley, September 30th - evening
Lily and James walked down the narrow streets of Diagon Alley in search of something entertaining for the both of them to do together. Lily would have taken it as somewhat of an insult that James had not even considered what they would actually DO on their date, but she found it relaxing to just walk. The evening air was crisp, but refreshing, and though James offered his cloak to her, she liked the feeling of the cool air on her arms.
The shops were turning on their front lights, and the buildings were now blocking out the sunset beyond them. They turned into a quaint little bistro and to Lily's surprise, James had in fact made a reservation there. She couldn't help but giggle when they sat down.
"That was pretty clever." She admitted.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it." James replied.
"What will you have?" the waiter asked.
Lily hadn't even picked up a menu yet, but there was no need. James began spouting off several different dishes that were his personal favorites, and ordered a big pitcher of butter beer for them both. The waiter nodded and took their menus.
Lily blinked.
"Oh, I hope you don't mind that I ordered. I know you're just going to love them!" said James happily.
Well then, Lily thought, this should be interesting...
James didn't say much in between large gulps of butter beer. Lily would tease him when he would drink so much that the foam would leave a little mustache on his upper lip.
By the time Lily poured herself a second cup of butter beer, James had already had 4, and the pitcher was filled not but a drop.
Lily smiled weakly. The cuteness of James' beer mustache was wearing thin. This is going to be a long night...
Hogwarts School - Gryffindor Common Room, September 30th - early morning
Lily and her friend Onya sat in front of the fireplace after Lily's date with James.
"So it must've been somewhat fun. I mean, you stayed out pretty late!" Onya commented after listening to Lily mumble things, trying to explain.
"Eh, yeah, it wasn't bad." said Lily, bored.
"Oh, come on! James is the cutest guy in school, and he asked you out! Tell me SOMETHING!" Onya begged. Lily knew that all of her friends dig James, and it humored her to think that the one person out of the lot that DIDN'T like him, was the one he asked out.
"We were late because he got lost taking us back to Hogwarts." Lily explained. "And, he ended up drinking so much butter beer that he couldn't afford the meals he ordered."
"HE ordered?" Onya asked.
"Yes. He ordered them, I ate them, and I paid for them. He felt really bad afterwards, and I'm pretty sure that's why he got distracted and led us completely off track. I told him it was okay. I mean, it was. I didn't mind the spending of the money... but he hardly had anything to talk about... other than his own life... and when he wasn't talking, he was drinking or asking random wizards for directions." said Lily, and she sighed.
"Oh." replied Onya.
"No, really. It was pretty fun. I was distracted too." said Lily, thinking about something else again.
"Why?" asked Onya.
"Why what?" replied Lily.
"Why were you distracted?" Onya asked, sitting up in her chair, interested.
"Oh, er, school... and stuff."
"Lily, I'd like to think I'm one of your close friends,"
"You are!"
"Then how come you never tell me anything you're thinking about? You can trust me."
"I know... I'm just not sure I know what I'm thinking"
"Well, try. I'll understand even if it doesn't come out right."
"Oh... well, heh, I don't know..."
"Please Lily. I'll tell you something I've not told anyone too."
"Okay"
"Remember last year when Remus was walking down the hall and his robes suddenly flew off and everyone saw that he forgot to wear a shirt that day?"
"Haha, yeah, I remember that"
"Well, Sirius told me that he had forgotten... so I was the one who jinxed his cloak to fly off."
Lily errupted into a fit of giggles, and from the sight of her, Onya began laughing as well.
"Haha, okay... okay, now it's your turn!"
"Oh man... On, you're never going to believe this! I... haha, I've been secretly thinking about this guy..."
"Ooo! Who?? Is he the one who was 'distracting' you while you were out with James?"
"Yeah! Hahaha! I'll give you three guesses!"
"Um, that dorky kid who sits next to us in Herbology?"
"Wormtail!! NO! Hahaha!"
"Ohh! Good! Let's see..."
"I'll give you a hint though, he's not very social!"
"Oh... lessie here... oh! Hahaha! I've got one that'll cook your goose!"
"Who!?"
"That freak-boy! What's his name? Sevie, Sven, Severus? Haha! That would be the day!"
"Eh..."
"Haha... ha... heh... ehh... what?"
Lily cleared her throat uncomfortably.
"Y, you like... Severus? Snape?"
"Heh..."
"Freak-boy?!"
"He's not a freak! He's just quiet! And ever since James came up and made a spectacle by asking me out in the hall in front of him, he hasn't been in class, or in the halls, not even for lunch or dinner! I think he's probably a nice guy once you get to know him."
"What are you talking about!? He's the devil's spawn for God's sake, Lily!"
"Thank you very much for your warmth and support. Goodnight."
With that, Lily ran out the portrait hole and away from the Gryffindor Tower.
Why the hell did I tell her that? I knew she was a flake, and yet I told. Now the whole school will know, not that I'd care, and everyone will laugh at me, not that I'll listen, and I'll be rediculed for the rest of my being, not that I'd live an unhappy life.
So what if I like a weird guy. Most men ARE weird! This one just happens to be more so than some. How can I say that? I don't even know what I'm talking about. All I've ever known about him is that he's quiet, which means he's probably very observant. By seeing him on the windowsill, just gazing, can only mean that he's a deep thinker. We'd have so much more to talk about than I did with Ja-
Lily turned the corner, and there was Severus... sitting on the windowsill. Her mind went blank, and she just stood there, except this time, Severus noticed the sound of footsteps, and when she stopped he turned and looked.
He couldn't stop his eyes from going heavy and making him turn away. He opened them and looked out the window again.
Lily knew that if she didn't just talk to him now, she never would. What's the worst that could happen?
She walked slowly to the windowsill.
"Um," she muttered quietly. Severus looked from out the window to his knees, waiting for her to say something, or maybe just leave... as not to make his detestable thoughts about her and Potter together.
Lily couldn't think of anything to say. What do you say to someone you don't really know, but are completely infatuated with? She felt her cheeks start to heat up, and her knuckles were white from clenching her fists.
They waited in silence for each other to break the ice, and after what felt like an eternity, Lily turned on her heels and started to walk back to Gryffindor Tower... embarrassed.
"Have a fun night with Potter?" called Severus.
Lily turned around and faced Severus, who was now sitting on the windowsill with his legs dangling down towards the floor.
"Not really." Lily replied truthfully. She noticed his eyebrows twitch, but quickly returned to their same expressionless position.
Lily wasn't sure if he was planning to hold a conversation with her or not, but little by little she inched her way back to her original spot looking directly at the window he was sitting in.
"I hear he's quite the lady's man." Severus said sarcastically.
"Yeah, I hear that too." Lily sighed.
"Didn't you think so on your little date?" he asked coldly.
"We had a nice dinner, but overall, I didn't see anything that was worth 8 galleons." Lily said, leaning against a wall, and sliding down so she is now sitting on the stone floor.
"8 galleons? You don't mean to tell me James made you pay for the date?" Severus said trying to keep a straight face, but ultimately amused at the thought.
"Heh, he didn't mean it to happen. Too much butter beer."
"I think that's the saddest thing I've ever heard"
"Agreed"
Severus tried hard to keep a straight face, and he was grateful for the moments Lily looked down at her lap, or out into the corridor so he could sneak a smile in.
"May I inquire as to why you are wandering the halls at this time?" Severus asked in a most professional manner.
"My, my, don't we sound like we're in charge?" Lily replied, a little more playful than she was expecting. "Well... what are YOU doing out so late?"
"I believe I asked you first Miss Evans."
"Uh, well, to be honest, I wasn't too happy with a conversation I was having, so I came out for a little walk."
"I see."
"So, what about you?"
"I see no reason why I can't be here."
"Are you meditating?"
"Homework."
"Oh."
"...why? Did I look like I was meditating?"
"Yes, sort of."
"Oh."
It was a long pause before Lily started to become cold from the stone floor, forcing her to strike up a conversation to keep her mind on something else.
"Why did you miss class today?" she asked.
"I wasn't feeling good."
"Oh... sorry. Was it a headache?"
"A little of everything."
"Ouch. Well, you weren't in lunch or dinner either... did you eat anything today?"
"No."
"Well!" said Lily, getting to her feet. "That's the first problem! You can't go a day without eating! It's like a day without sunshine!"
Lily took a good look at Severus' pale complexion.
"Or something..." she added. "Come on, lets go find something to eat."
Severus didn't move from his windowsill, and Lily got to the end of the hall before she realized she was not being followed. She turned around, walked to the windowsill, and reached out her hand.
Severus just looked at it, as though it were a foreign object, not sure if he was allowed to touch.
Finally Lily didn't feel like waiting anymore, so she grabbed his hand, and softly tugged on his arm until he stood.
Severus followed Lily , hand in hers.