***A Comment from Arielle: Huzzah for being sick all day. I slept and made another short chapter to the story. I don't like reading long ass chapters, so I don't write them that way either. Hope it's somewhat enjoyable, and I'll do my best to write more asap.***
Severus Snape Journal Entry, October 2nd - Late Night
Just when you think you have everything under control, something comes along and changes it completely. I can't decide whether it is for the good or the bad sometimes. Last night's events aroused some very difficult questions I am forced to answer to myself. Just how close am I willing to be with Lily...?
P.s. I stuffed Sirius Black's mashed potatoes with Kelps Extra Sticky Rubber Bands at lunch yesterday. He was sent to the nurse, and I think I may have put Kelps out of business. A shame too. I was making a list of all the people I would like to see without the ability to speak.
Hogwarts School, October 2nd - Late Evening
Severus sat on the windowsill looking out at the grounds that were now being darkened by sunset. The sun had begun to set a little earlier now, which Severus liked very much. He preferred the dark over the daytime sun, and the teachers no longer pestered him about being out of Slytherin House after hours, since he would only do it again the next night and the next. After a while, they just assumed he was the creative type, and since he was doing no one harm, they simply told any questioning student that he was on a special night watch to make sure kids weren't sneaking around the corridors.
It worked too. People didn't want to come in contact with Severus, so they stayed in their dormitories.
Severus flinched a little when he heard a rustling in the hallways. Two whispering voices could barely be made out. Severus held his breath to hear the people talking, and as they got closer and closer, he could clearly make out a girl and a boy. The girl was speaking quickly and sporadically, trying very carefully not to be very specific as to what they were in fact talking about.
"I'm sorry... I know... I don't expect you to say anything, I just... I don't know... I just thought I should tell you." said the boy.
"Oh, yeah... I mean, I know that. It was just really... unexpected... and maybe a little fast" replied the girl.
"But you see, to me it wasn't fast. I've been holding out on saying anything at all." said the boy.
"I know..."
"Did... did you really mean what you said though... about..."
"Look, I don't want to talk about it now... okay?" the girl asked.
Silence.
Severus leaned against the wall. He heard the footsteps of the couple coming closer, and then stop just around a corner.
"Lily, please... I want to talk about it." said the boy.
"No... I'm sorry James. I'm just not in the mood. I don't know what I'm thinking about, and I don't want to end up saying the wrong thing." replied Lily.
"Li-"
"Just go back to the common room, James."
James made attempts to reply to her, but nothing came out. He finally began walking away, and just as he was passing the window where Severus sat, he caught him mumble, "Women..." to himself.
When Severus believed James to be out of earshot, he sat up tall and looked down the halls for Lily. He knew she was still there. He leaned as far as he could to see around the corner, but she was standing with her back against the wall.
He held his breath again to try to hear any noise coming out of her, but she was silent as the stone floors under them.
He contemplated whether or not to go to her. He feared that he would be imposing on her personal situation, and maybe she would even be offended that he was eavesdropping on them.
"He told me he loved me." Lily said out of nowhere, still leaning against the wall.
Severus looked around, and waited to find out if she was talking to him, or someone else who happened to walk by quietly. After it was apparent that there was no one else in the halls, he replied quietly, "What did you say back?"
Lily turned the corner and faced him, her face looking tired and stressed. She gave a weak attempt at a smile, that Severus knew meant she had once again had a hell of a date with James.
"Severus... I'm-" she started
"You don't have to be sorry, Lily. You are perfectly entitled to go out with Potter." he replied.
"I know... it just felt wrong."
"Not surprising."
"No, I mean... I felt like I was..." she sighed, and tried to think of the words to finish her thought. "Like I was forcing myself to have a good time. Tonight was... worlds better than the last time we went out. But the only time I really laughed because I wanted to, was when he told me about Sirius, and how he could only open his mouth to talk out of one side. I laughed so hard... because I was thinking about you."
Severus said nothing.
"We walked back towards school, and we stopped by the lake to look for the giant octopus. The lake was so beautiful, and the trees were rustling... and he just all of a sudden turned to me and said that he loved me! I didn't know what to say! I was so shocked!"
Severus couldn't help but smile... in a sort of evil fashion.
"What?" Lily asked when she got a look at him.
"It just sounds like something Potter would do."he finally said.
"Oh... yeah..."
There was a long pause of silence.
"Well, I'd better go to bed then." said Lily.
Severus didn't say anything, as she began to walk away.
"You never told me what you said back to him" he called to her, already halfway down the hall.
At this, Lily stopped and turned around. Severus looked calm and undisturbed. His hands were clutched behind his back, and the thought of Potter kissing the same lips he had made his grip tighten and cause his knuckles to go white.
Lily walked back to where she stood before, looked Severus right in his eyes, and without having to say a word, Severus reached out and pulled Lily close to him. When their lips met, Lily let out a sigh, and leaned into his embrace. She stood high on her toes to reach Severus' height, and even so he had to hunch down a bit to accommodate. It was different to kiss him standing up, she thought. He had the ability to really hold her this way. Lily could even sense that he was in the lead this time with his tall stature, and though there wasn't much meat on his bones, Lily felt completely safe there with him.
Lily took a step back and looked at him and smiled.
"Goodnight Lily." he said.
"Goodnight Severus." she replied, and slowly walked towards Gryffindor Tower, glancing back at him every few steps or so.
Severus sat comfortably back on his windowsill, and grinned.
"I can hear you breathing Potter." he said softly.
James removed the cloak and threw it to the ground. Severus looked down at the crumpled cloak on the stone floor.
"I would think you would take better care of something so valuable." Severus said calmly, looking back out the window.
"You're a thief." said James.
"I beg your pardon? I don't have anything that belongs to you." said Severus cooly.
"What about her? Huh? You knew I liked her. Everyone knows." cried James.
"Yes, you're right. I knew." he replied.
"Then you did it to spite me."
"On the contrary, Potter. She came to me."
"You lie."
"I assure you. I did nothing to attract Lily to me. I was here, and she came to me."
James shook his head, not wanting to believe it, but knew somehow that Severus was telling the truth. He tried to think of something to say to him, something to do to make him as angry as he felt, but nothing came to him. He swiped his cloak up in one arm and turned back towards Severus, who still sat on the windowsill, calm and reserved.
"This isn't the end of this, Severus." he said, trying to sound more bad-ass than he really was.
"Oh goodie." Severus replied quiet enough for only himself to hear.
Severus Snape Journal Entry, October 2nd - Late Night
Just when you think you have everything under control, something comes along and changes it completely. I can't decide whether it is for the good or the bad sometimes. Last night's events aroused some very difficult questions I am forced to answer to myself. Just how close am I willing to be with Lily...?
P.s. I stuffed Sirius Black's mashed potatoes with Kelps Extra Sticky Rubber Bands at lunch yesterday. He was sent to the nurse, and I think I may have put Kelps out of business. A shame too. I was making a list of all the people I would like to see without the ability to speak.
Hogwarts School, October 2nd - Late Evening
Severus sat on the windowsill looking out at the grounds that were now being darkened by sunset. The sun had begun to set a little earlier now, which Severus liked very much. He preferred the dark over the daytime sun, and the teachers no longer pestered him about being out of Slytherin House after hours, since he would only do it again the next night and the next. After a while, they just assumed he was the creative type, and since he was doing no one harm, they simply told any questioning student that he was on a special night watch to make sure kids weren't sneaking around the corridors.
It worked too. People didn't want to come in contact with Severus, so they stayed in their dormitories.
Severus flinched a little when he heard a rustling in the hallways. Two whispering voices could barely be made out. Severus held his breath to hear the people talking, and as they got closer and closer, he could clearly make out a girl and a boy. The girl was speaking quickly and sporadically, trying very carefully not to be very specific as to what they were in fact talking about.
"I'm sorry... I know... I don't expect you to say anything, I just... I don't know... I just thought I should tell you." said the boy.
"Oh, yeah... I mean, I know that. It was just really... unexpected... and maybe a little fast" replied the girl.
"But you see, to me it wasn't fast. I've been holding out on saying anything at all." said the boy.
"I know..."
"Did... did you really mean what you said though... about..."
"Look, I don't want to talk about it now... okay?" the girl asked.
Silence.
Severus leaned against the wall. He heard the footsteps of the couple coming closer, and then stop just around a corner.
"Lily, please... I want to talk about it." said the boy.
"No... I'm sorry James. I'm just not in the mood. I don't know what I'm thinking about, and I don't want to end up saying the wrong thing." replied Lily.
"Li-"
"Just go back to the common room, James."
James made attempts to reply to her, but nothing came out. He finally began walking away, and just as he was passing the window where Severus sat, he caught him mumble, "Women..." to himself.
When Severus believed James to be out of earshot, he sat up tall and looked down the halls for Lily. He knew she was still there. He leaned as far as he could to see around the corner, but she was standing with her back against the wall.
He held his breath again to try to hear any noise coming out of her, but she was silent as the stone floors under them.
He contemplated whether or not to go to her. He feared that he would be imposing on her personal situation, and maybe she would even be offended that he was eavesdropping on them.
"He told me he loved me." Lily said out of nowhere, still leaning against the wall.
Severus looked around, and waited to find out if she was talking to him, or someone else who happened to walk by quietly. After it was apparent that there was no one else in the halls, he replied quietly, "What did you say back?"
Lily turned the corner and faced him, her face looking tired and stressed. She gave a weak attempt at a smile, that Severus knew meant she had once again had a hell of a date with James.
"Severus... I'm-" she started
"You don't have to be sorry, Lily. You are perfectly entitled to go out with Potter." he replied.
"I know... it just felt wrong."
"Not surprising."
"No, I mean... I felt like I was..." she sighed, and tried to think of the words to finish her thought. "Like I was forcing myself to have a good time. Tonight was... worlds better than the last time we went out. But the only time I really laughed because I wanted to, was when he told me about Sirius, and how he could only open his mouth to talk out of one side. I laughed so hard... because I was thinking about you."
Severus said nothing.
"We walked back towards school, and we stopped by the lake to look for the giant octopus. The lake was so beautiful, and the trees were rustling... and he just all of a sudden turned to me and said that he loved me! I didn't know what to say! I was so shocked!"
Severus couldn't help but smile... in a sort of evil fashion.
"What?" Lily asked when she got a look at him.
"It just sounds like something Potter would do."he finally said.
"Oh... yeah..."
There was a long pause of silence.
"Well, I'd better go to bed then." said Lily.
Severus didn't say anything, as she began to walk away.
"You never told me what you said back to him" he called to her, already halfway down the hall.
At this, Lily stopped and turned around. Severus looked calm and undisturbed. His hands were clutched behind his back, and the thought of Potter kissing the same lips he had made his grip tighten and cause his knuckles to go white.
Lily walked back to where she stood before, looked Severus right in his eyes, and without having to say a word, Severus reached out and pulled Lily close to him. When their lips met, Lily let out a sigh, and leaned into his embrace. She stood high on her toes to reach Severus' height, and even so he had to hunch down a bit to accommodate. It was different to kiss him standing up, she thought. He had the ability to really hold her this way. Lily could even sense that he was in the lead this time with his tall stature, and though there wasn't much meat on his bones, Lily felt completely safe there with him.
Lily took a step back and looked at him and smiled.
"Goodnight Lily." he said.
"Goodnight Severus." she replied, and slowly walked towards Gryffindor Tower, glancing back at him every few steps or so.
Severus sat comfortably back on his windowsill, and grinned.
"I can hear you breathing Potter." he said softly.
James removed the cloak and threw it to the ground. Severus looked down at the crumpled cloak on the stone floor.
"I would think you would take better care of something so valuable." Severus said calmly, looking back out the window.
"You're a thief." said James.
"I beg your pardon? I don't have anything that belongs to you." said Severus cooly.
"What about her? Huh? You knew I liked her. Everyone knows." cried James.
"Yes, you're right. I knew." he replied.
"Then you did it to spite me."
"On the contrary, Potter. She came to me."
"You lie."
"I assure you. I did nothing to attract Lily to me. I was here, and she came to me."
James shook his head, not wanting to believe it, but knew somehow that Severus was telling the truth. He tried to think of something to say to him, something to do to make him as angry as he felt, but nothing came to him. He swiped his cloak up in one arm and turned back towards Severus, who still sat on the windowsill, calm and reserved.
"This isn't the end of this, Severus." he said, trying to sound more bad-ass than he really was.
"Oh goodie." Severus replied quiet enough for only himself to hear.