DISCLAIMER: I WISHED I OWED ALL SO I CAN STOP WRITING DISCLAIMERS BUT I
DON'T SO THAT MEANS I OWE NOTHING BUT MY TWISTS I TWISTED INTO THIS
STORY!!!!!!! (Man, don't you hate it when your caps lock is accidentally
turned on and you don't realize it until the last moment?)
(Cloud and the rest of AVALANCHE goes to 7th Heaven, where a lady was kicking everyone out)
LADY: Bar's closed, so move it you drunks!
BARRET: Whoa, Tifa's in a bad mood today. Better not aggravate her…
WEDGE: Whoa, Tifa's in a bad mood today. Better not aggravate her…
BIGGS: Whoa, Tifa's in a bad mood today. Better not aggravate her…
JESSIE: Whoa, Tifa's in a bad mood today. Better not aggravate her…
CLOUD: Who are these Matrix guys…whoa! It's Tifa!
(Cloud runs over and grabs Tifa's arms and spun her towards him
CLOUD: Hey. Long time no…
(Tifa responds by smacking Cloud in the face and kicking him onto the ground too)
CLOUD: Ow…
GUY: Join the club.
BARRET: Come on Cloud! Get you lazy butt up and let's go in!
(Cloud shrugs off his pain and walks into the bar, where Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie are getting drunk)
BIGGS: Whoa…is Cloud a penguin?
WEDGE: Nope, a cloud is a puffy thing in the sky.
JESSIE: Hic…Hic…Hic…oh…
(Jessie, holding her mouth, rushes into the bathroom)
BARRET: Alright, let's go down our secret headquarters. Everybody, to the pinball machine!
(Biggs and Wedge follows Barret down the pinball elevator. Suddenly, a little girl appears above the counter)
GIRL: Daddy? Nope, some drunk.
CLOUD: Drunk? I am not drunk…
(Tifa responds by smacking and kicking Cloud onto the street)
CLOUD: Ow…
GUY: Hello again. Would you like to buy a helmet?
(Cloud ignores the drunk guy and walks back into the bar)
CLOUD: Now wait just one moment…
MARLENE: Daddy? Nope, another drunk.
BARRET: Cloud! Where the hell are you? It ain't gonna take all day to go down a pinball elevator!
TIFA: Grrr…
JESSIE: Yuck. Huh? Where is everyone?
BARRET: Jessie? Slacking off? That'll go off your paycheck!
JESSIE: Oh blast it Fine. I'm coming.
BARRET: You better be.
(Jessie goes down while Cloud sits on a chair)
TIFA: Grrr…
CLOUD: Aw crap, I forgot about…
(Tifa responds by grabbing Cloud and throwing him into the secret HQ down below)
BARRET: Ah, I knew I forgot someone.
CLOUD: Ow…
MARLENE: Daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Marlene jump down onto Cloud and runs to Barret)
CLOUD: Ow…
BIGGS: Alright. One reactor, 7 more to go. Wedge, do the honors of choosing our next reactor.
WEDGE: Okay. 2 divided by 6 plus 100 minus 85 multiply by 2.545 divided by the square root of 3.6543 plus AB multiplied by 0 plus 20 divided by 4. Sector 5 it is!
CLOUD: Ow…Now my brain hurts
BARRET: Aw…is the Ex-SOLDIER hurt? I thought you were cut out for this.
CLOUD: Quit yapping, bozo. I want to talk about my money.
(Cloud goes back upstairs)
BIGGS: What was your point in saying that?
BARRET: Shut up.
(Barret punches Biggs into the air and Biggs lands on the floor)
BIGGS: Ow… Now I know how Cloud feels
(Suddenly, screams were heard and Cloud comes crashing down)
CLOUD: Ow…maybe we should talk about my money here.
TIFA: And you forgot your promise too!
EVERYONE EXCEPT TIFA: Huh?
TIFA: Grrr….
(Tifa jumps down and throws Cloud back up)
CLOUD: Wait! Wait! Wait! I remember! Back in Nibelheim…
(Flashback and junk like that…)
CLOUD: Where is Tifa? I'm freezing to death here! The torture…the torture…
TIFA: Hello.
CLOUD: Where were you?
TIFA: Hey! I had to finish practicing my piano and find this dress in my closet. You like it?
CLOUD: Maybe. But now I'm freezing to death, so I can't really think about it.
(Tifa responds by smacking Cloud in the face)
FUTURE CLOUD: Hey…I remember that smack too.
FUTURE TIFA: Don't make me remind you…
FUTURE CLOUD: You already have for the sixth time.
(Flashback again…)
CLOUD: You know what? When I'm old enough, I'm going to kick butt and join SOLDIER.
TIFA: Pul-leeze. You can't even beat me.
CLOUD: Ha! Wait until you see how powerful I became!
FUTURE TIFA: Yep. You became really powerful.
FUTURE CLOUD: Oh shut up.
(Flashback part III)
TIFA: Well then. I want to ask a favor.
CLOUD: To save you from a dragon, only later to throw you off a cliff?
TIFA: Do you want me to hurt you?
CLOUD: Oh geez…please don't hurt me…
TIFA: Anyways, I want you to save me whenever I am in trouble after you join SOLIDER.
CLOUD: Fine whatever. Just don't hit me, please?
(Just as Cloud stumbles and tumbles onto the ground, a wishing star flies by and twinkles. Now back to the future…)
CLOUD: I remember, see?
TIFA: Yeah…but that's not the promise I was talking about.
CLOUD: Huh?
TIFA: The promise where you'll pay for the damages for the fire you set on my clothes, for the medical payments I have to pay for your injuries, and that penny you stole from me.
CLOUD: Who told you about the penny?
TIFA: Henry, your best friend.
CLOUD: Oh damn him.
BARRET: Alright, it's time to go and kick Sector 5's butts good-bye!
CLOUD: What about my money?
BARRET: Oh yeah.
(Barret hands Cloud a dime)
CLOUD: A dime?
BARRET: For being late, making a really stupid entrance on the train, talking about the Matrix…
CLOUD: You give me more money or I'll strike.
TIFA: You do and I beat you up.
CLOUD: On second thought, I'll take the dime. Hey, better than nothing you know? I can get more money by just kicking monsters' butts, right?
BARRET: Whatever. Hurry up, Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie are already there.
CLOUD: How?
BARRET: Oh, and by the way, nice flashback about you and Tifa. Wasn't that romantic? Ha!
(Barret walks away)
CLOUD: Wait, Barret just insulted you? Are you going to do anything?
TIFA: Hey, Barret's got a long-range weapon. And besides, he's fat and smells. I'm not touching him.
CLOUD: So what? I don't smell? Huh?
TIFA: What? You're dirty too? And I touched you? CREEP!
(Tifa, for the what-so-ever time hits and throws Cloud outside the bar.
GUY: Welcome to the Dark Side, fellow friend.
CLOUD: Ow…Man, I think that drunk is right…
Author's Note: Whew! The hard part this week is over! That means more time for me to write this story!!! Halleluiah!!!!!! Yahoo!!!! (And other expressions that express happiness and stuff like that)
(Cloud and the rest of AVALANCHE goes to 7th Heaven, where a lady was kicking everyone out)
LADY: Bar's closed, so move it you drunks!
BARRET: Whoa, Tifa's in a bad mood today. Better not aggravate her…
WEDGE: Whoa, Tifa's in a bad mood today. Better not aggravate her…
BIGGS: Whoa, Tifa's in a bad mood today. Better not aggravate her…
JESSIE: Whoa, Tifa's in a bad mood today. Better not aggravate her…
CLOUD: Who are these Matrix guys…whoa! It's Tifa!
(Cloud runs over and grabs Tifa's arms and spun her towards him
CLOUD: Hey. Long time no…
(Tifa responds by smacking Cloud in the face and kicking him onto the ground too)
CLOUD: Ow…
GUY: Join the club.
BARRET: Come on Cloud! Get you lazy butt up and let's go in!
(Cloud shrugs off his pain and walks into the bar, where Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie are getting drunk)
BIGGS: Whoa…is Cloud a penguin?
WEDGE: Nope, a cloud is a puffy thing in the sky.
JESSIE: Hic…Hic…Hic…oh…
(Jessie, holding her mouth, rushes into the bathroom)
BARRET: Alright, let's go down our secret headquarters. Everybody, to the pinball machine!
(Biggs and Wedge follows Barret down the pinball elevator. Suddenly, a little girl appears above the counter)
GIRL: Daddy? Nope, some drunk.
CLOUD: Drunk? I am not drunk…
(Tifa responds by smacking and kicking Cloud onto the street)
CLOUD: Ow…
GUY: Hello again. Would you like to buy a helmet?
(Cloud ignores the drunk guy and walks back into the bar)
CLOUD: Now wait just one moment…
MARLENE: Daddy? Nope, another drunk.
BARRET: Cloud! Where the hell are you? It ain't gonna take all day to go down a pinball elevator!
TIFA: Grrr…
JESSIE: Yuck. Huh? Where is everyone?
BARRET: Jessie? Slacking off? That'll go off your paycheck!
JESSIE: Oh blast it Fine. I'm coming.
BARRET: You better be.
(Jessie goes down while Cloud sits on a chair)
TIFA: Grrr…
CLOUD: Aw crap, I forgot about…
(Tifa responds by grabbing Cloud and throwing him into the secret HQ down below)
BARRET: Ah, I knew I forgot someone.
CLOUD: Ow…
MARLENE: Daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Marlene jump down onto Cloud and runs to Barret)
CLOUD: Ow…
BIGGS: Alright. One reactor, 7 more to go. Wedge, do the honors of choosing our next reactor.
WEDGE: Okay. 2 divided by 6 plus 100 minus 85 multiply by 2.545 divided by the square root of 3.6543 plus AB multiplied by 0 plus 20 divided by 4. Sector 5 it is!
CLOUD: Ow…Now my brain hurts
BARRET: Aw…is the Ex-SOLDIER hurt? I thought you were cut out for this.
CLOUD: Quit yapping, bozo. I want to talk about my money.
(Cloud goes back upstairs)
BIGGS: What was your point in saying that?
BARRET: Shut up.
(Barret punches Biggs into the air and Biggs lands on the floor)
BIGGS: Ow… Now I know how Cloud feels
(Suddenly, screams were heard and Cloud comes crashing down)
CLOUD: Ow…maybe we should talk about my money here.
TIFA: And you forgot your promise too!
EVERYONE EXCEPT TIFA: Huh?
TIFA: Grrr….
(Tifa jumps down and throws Cloud back up)
CLOUD: Wait! Wait! Wait! I remember! Back in Nibelheim…
(Flashback and junk like that…)
CLOUD: Where is Tifa? I'm freezing to death here! The torture…the torture…
TIFA: Hello.
CLOUD: Where were you?
TIFA: Hey! I had to finish practicing my piano and find this dress in my closet. You like it?
CLOUD: Maybe. But now I'm freezing to death, so I can't really think about it.
(Tifa responds by smacking Cloud in the face)
FUTURE CLOUD: Hey…I remember that smack too.
FUTURE TIFA: Don't make me remind you…
FUTURE CLOUD: You already have for the sixth time.
(Flashback again…)
CLOUD: You know what? When I'm old enough, I'm going to kick butt and join SOLDIER.
TIFA: Pul-leeze. You can't even beat me.
CLOUD: Ha! Wait until you see how powerful I became!
FUTURE TIFA: Yep. You became really powerful.
FUTURE CLOUD: Oh shut up.
(Flashback part III)
TIFA: Well then. I want to ask a favor.
CLOUD: To save you from a dragon, only later to throw you off a cliff?
TIFA: Do you want me to hurt you?
CLOUD: Oh geez…please don't hurt me…
TIFA: Anyways, I want you to save me whenever I am in trouble after you join SOLIDER.
CLOUD: Fine whatever. Just don't hit me, please?
(Just as Cloud stumbles and tumbles onto the ground, a wishing star flies by and twinkles. Now back to the future…)
CLOUD: I remember, see?
TIFA: Yeah…but that's not the promise I was talking about.
CLOUD: Huh?
TIFA: The promise where you'll pay for the damages for the fire you set on my clothes, for the medical payments I have to pay for your injuries, and that penny you stole from me.
CLOUD: Who told you about the penny?
TIFA: Henry, your best friend.
CLOUD: Oh damn him.
BARRET: Alright, it's time to go and kick Sector 5's butts good-bye!
CLOUD: What about my money?
BARRET: Oh yeah.
(Barret hands Cloud a dime)
CLOUD: A dime?
BARRET: For being late, making a really stupid entrance on the train, talking about the Matrix…
CLOUD: You give me more money or I'll strike.
TIFA: You do and I beat you up.
CLOUD: On second thought, I'll take the dime. Hey, better than nothing you know? I can get more money by just kicking monsters' butts, right?
BARRET: Whatever. Hurry up, Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie are already there.
CLOUD: How?
BARRET: Oh, and by the way, nice flashback about you and Tifa. Wasn't that romantic? Ha!
(Barret walks away)
CLOUD: Wait, Barret just insulted you? Are you going to do anything?
TIFA: Hey, Barret's got a long-range weapon. And besides, he's fat and smells. I'm not touching him.
CLOUD: So what? I don't smell? Huh?
TIFA: What? You're dirty too? And I touched you? CREEP!
(Tifa, for the what-so-ever time hits and throws Cloud outside the bar.
GUY: Welcome to the Dark Side, fellow friend.
CLOUD: Ow…Man, I think that drunk is right…
Author's Note: Whew! The hard part this week is over! That means more time for me to write this story!!! Halleluiah!!!!!! Yahoo!!!! (And other expressions that express happiness and stuff like that)