DISCLAIMER: Well, what do YOU think? If you have no clue what-so-ever, I
own nothing in this story. Other than the (magnificent ideas of mine) of
course. Note to self, copy and paste this to save time
???: Cloud….
CLOUD: …
???: Cloud…
CLOUD: …
???: CLOUD! PUT SOME BLOOD INTO THAT BRAIN OF YOURS AND LISTEN TO ME!!
CLOUD: Huh…?
???: Nasty fall, wasn't it?
CLOUD: I fell……………um…when?
???: Sector 5…
CLOUD: Oh. That 500 feet drop.
???: Back then, I only got skinned knees.
CLOUD: Are you my conscience?
???: Uh huh. Who did you think I was, some stuffed doll with a cat and a stupid microphone?
CLOUD: Huh?
???: Um….back then, I only got skinned knees.
CLOUD: I think I broke my neck…
LADY: Hello, hello?
???: Whatever. Stop whining and get up.
LADY: Wait, do I know you?
???: Breathe in and out, slowly rise out of the mist…
CLOUD: I think I need a medic…
LADY: That voice…oh yeah. You're the guy I bumped into back there.
CLOUD: Conscience, is that you?
???: No, but get up anyways because the person waking you up is a hottie!
(The lady pilfers around Cloud's pockets)
LADY: What? Just a lousy dime? Come on, I stole 300 gil last time!
CLOUD: A hottie!!!!!!!!
(Cloud snaps awake and throws the lady over)
LADY: Ow…
CLOUD: Wow! It is a hottie!
LADY: Ow…huh? Oh, um hello! Don't worry! I made sure nobody stole from you while you were sleeping…um…
CLOUD: (drools, then snaps awake)…Huh?
LADY: Well, looks like you're fine…that roof and that flower bed sure did break that nasty gil, I mean fall of yours…
CLOUD: You look familiar…
LADY: Um…I better fix the gil bed…I meant flower bed…
CLOUD: Hey, you're that drunk guy! I remember having a grudge against you, but I forgot why.
LADY: What? Drunk guy?!?!?!?!
(Lady responds by repeatedly smacking Cloud with her staff)
CLOUD: Now I remember, you're that flower lady!
LADY: Thank you! My name is Aeris.
CLOUD: Um, hello.
AERIS: So…you got any money, I mean materia?
CLOUD: Yeah, some. I've got fire, restore, ice, lighting, and all materia.
AERIS: I have materia from my mom. It's good for stealing…I meant nothing.
CLOUD: Yeah, so what's the point…wait, did you say stealing…
AERIS: Um… (looks over shoulder and sees a guy in a blue suit walking over)
CLOUD: Didn't beat me up and stole my money or something?
AERIS:Ioweyouadatebemybodyguardgofacethatguywiththebluesuitsoicangetawaywith yourmoneyimeantsowecouldgetawayandescapetomyhouse.
CLOUD: (Takes out his sword) Gimme my money back, you thief!
AERIS: Enemy boss! Save me!
BLUE SUIT GUY: You must be mistaken. You don't fight me as a boss yet.
CLOUD: Hey, it's a Turk!
TURK DUDE: That's right. Name's Reno so hand over that girl.
CLOUD: Gladly. That is, until she gives me back my money…
AERIS: Actually, I'm willing to submit to you. Unless you be my bodyguard, I guess this is farewell. See ya…
CLOUD: Wait…a…second…Money or revenge. Money or revenge. Money or revenge. Heck, I hate her. Revenge…
(A thunderbolt zaps Cloud and his conscience returns)
???: Of course, you won't be able to buy that special villa of yours in Costa de Sol…
CLOUD: What?????? No way! I'll never give up that villa! I'm not going to lose to some freak in eBay that'll have more money than me to buy that villa! Aeris, I'm your bodyguard, so let's go!
RENO: Well, in that case… guards! Get that Ancient!
CLOUD: Ancient…? Ancient…sell her…get rich…$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Come on! Let's go!
(Cloud and Aeris run out back and hurry to the roof, where Reno and the guards shoot the beam and Aeris falls)
AERIS: BASTARDS!!!!!!!!
CLOUD: Great.
RENO: Get her!
AERIS: Cloud…any time now!
CLOUD: Hmm…huh? Well, well. Some barrels…
(Cloud rushes to the top and pry the lid of one barrel open, in which one contained hidden snacks)
CLOUD: I've struck gold! I haven't eaten since a while!
(Meanwhile, Aeris is tackling and actually creaming Reno and his guards)
AERIS: YOU STEPPED ON THAT FLOWER BED!!!! IT'S VERY SPECIAL AND FULL OF MY BABIES!!!! BURN IN HELL!!!!!!!!
(Aeris nails Reno and his guards onto the ground, where they lay writhing)
RENO: That wasn't in my mission description…damn you Tseng.
CLOUD: Munch…munch…munch…gulp. Yum!
AERIS: AND WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU???
CLOUD: I need my money back so I can outbid that creep on eBay…
(Aeris smacks Cloud through the roof)
AERIS: Wow. Guess I don't know my own strength!
CLOUD: Why me….?
(Aeris runs up to the roof and joins the writhing Cloud on the roof)
CLOUD: Wow…flying Chocobos…
???: Alright…
(Cloud's conscience smacks Cloud silly)
CLOUD: Huh? Oh hi Aeris. What just happened?
AERIS: Well, those Turks are after me again…
CLOUD: Wait, where's my money?
AERIS: At my house. Gotta protect me until then!
CLOUD: mumble, mumble, bastard, mumble
AERIS: *Ahem* Repeat that again?
CLOUD: I said that I shouldn't have eaten that mustard down there.
AERIS: You ate mustard?
CLOUD: Custard. I meant custard.
AERIS: Grrr…
CLOUD: Remember, I've got a big sword and you have a puny staff!
(Aeris's staff extends 20 feet)
AERIS: You were saying…?
CLOUD: Um…your house is that way, yes?
(Aeris and Cloud move on to Aeris's house)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That extending staff thing was taken (*ahem* I meant borrowed) from a old Chinese story about a monkey warrior who had this staff that could extend really, really long and stops evil and helps the good. So I guess this should be included in the disclaimer.
???: Cloud….
CLOUD: …
???: Cloud…
CLOUD: …
???: CLOUD! PUT SOME BLOOD INTO THAT BRAIN OF YOURS AND LISTEN TO ME!!
CLOUD: Huh…?
???: Nasty fall, wasn't it?
CLOUD: I fell……………um…when?
???: Sector 5…
CLOUD: Oh. That 500 feet drop.
???: Back then, I only got skinned knees.
CLOUD: Are you my conscience?
???: Uh huh. Who did you think I was, some stuffed doll with a cat and a stupid microphone?
CLOUD: Huh?
???: Um….back then, I only got skinned knees.
CLOUD: I think I broke my neck…
LADY: Hello, hello?
???: Whatever. Stop whining and get up.
LADY: Wait, do I know you?
???: Breathe in and out, slowly rise out of the mist…
CLOUD: I think I need a medic…
LADY: That voice…oh yeah. You're the guy I bumped into back there.
CLOUD: Conscience, is that you?
???: No, but get up anyways because the person waking you up is a hottie!
(The lady pilfers around Cloud's pockets)
LADY: What? Just a lousy dime? Come on, I stole 300 gil last time!
CLOUD: A hottie!!!!!!!!
(Cloud snaps awake and throws the lady over)
LADY: Ow…
CLOUD: Wow! It is a hottie!
LADY: Ow…huh? Oh, um hello! Don't worry! I made sure nobody stole from you while you were sleeping…um…
CLOUD: (drools, then snaps awake)…Huh?
LADY: Well, looks like you're fine…that roof and that flower bed sure did break that nasty gil, I mean fall of yours…
CLOUD: You look familiar…
LADY: Um…I better fix the gil bed…I meant flower bed…
CLOUD: Hey, you're that drunk guy! I remember having a grudge against you, but I forgot why.
LADY: What? Drunk guy?!?!?!?!
(Lady responds by repeatedly smacking Cloud with her staff)
CLOUD: Now I remember, you're that flower lady!
LADY: Thank you! My name is Aeris.
CLOUD: Um, hello.
AERIS: So…you got any money, I mean materia?
CLOUD: Yeah, some. I've got fire, restore, ice, lighting, and all materia.
AERIS: I have materia from my mom. It's good for stealing…I meant nothing.
CLOUD: Yeah, so what's the point…wait, did you say stealing…
AERIS: Um… (looks over shoulder and sees a guy in a blue suit walking over)
CLOUD: Didn't beat me up and stole my money or something?
AERIS:Ioweyouadatebemybodyguardgofacethatguywiththebluesuitsoicangetawaywith yourmoneyimeantsowecouldgetawayandescapetomyhouse.
CLOUD: (Takes out his sword) Gimme my money back, you thief!
AERIS: Enemy boss! Save me!
BLUE SUIT GUY: You must be mistaken. You don't fight me as a boss yet.
CLOUD: Hey, it's a Turk!
TURK DUDE: That's right. Name's Reno so hand over that girl.
CLOUD: Gladly. That is, until she gives me back my money…
AERIS: Actually, I'm willing to submit to you. Unless you be my bodyguard, I guess this is farewell. See ya…
CLOUD: Wait…a…second…Money or revenge. Money or revenge. Money or revenge. Heck, I hate her. Revenge…
(A thunderbolt zaps Cloud and his conscience returns)
???: Of course, you won't be able to buy that special villa of yours in Costa de Sol…
CLOUD: What?????? No way! I'll never give up that villa! I'm not going to lose to some freak in eBay that'll have more money than me to buy that villa! Aeris, I'm your bodyguard, so let's go!
RENO: Well, in that case… guards! Get that Ancient!
CLOUD: Ancient…? Ancient…sell her…get rich…$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Come on! Let's go!
(Cloud and Aeris run out back and hurry to the roof, where Reno and the guards shoot the beam and Aeris falls)
AERIS: BASTARDS!!!!!!!!
CLOUD: Great.
RENO: Get her!
AERIS: Cloud…any time now!
CLOUD: Hmm…huh? Well, well. Some barrels…
(Cloud rushes to the top and pry the lid of one barrel open, in which one contained hidden snacks)
CLOUD: I've struck gold! I haven't eaten since a while!
(Meanwhile, Aeris is tackling and actually creaming Reno and his guards)
AERIS: YOU STEPPED ON THAT FLOWER BED!!!! IT'S VERY SPECIAL AND FULL OF MY BABIES!!!! BURN IN HELL!!!!!!!!
(Aeris nails Reno and his guards onto the ground, where they lay writhing)
RENO: That wasn't in my mission description…damn you Tseng.
CLOUD: Munch…munch…munch…gulp. Yum!
AERIS: AND WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU???
CLOUD: I need my money back so I can outbid that creep on eBay…
(Aeris smacks Cloud through the roof)
AERIS: Wow. Guess I don't know my own strength!
CLOUD: Why me….?
(Aeris runs up to the roof and joins the writhing Cloud on the roof)
CLOUD: Wow…flying Chocobos…
???: Alright…
(Cloud's conscience smacks Cloud silly)
CLOUD: Huh? Oh hi Aeris. What just happened?
AERIS: Well, those Turks are after me again…
CLOUD: Wait, where's my money?
AERIS: At my house. Gotta protect me until then!
CLOUD: mumble, mumble, bastard, mumble
AERIS: *Ahem* Repeat that again?
CLOUD: I said that I shouldn't have eaten that mustard down there.
AERIS: You ate mustard?
CLOUD: Custard. I meant custard.
AERIS: Grrr…
CLOUD: Remember, I've got a big sword and you have a puny staff!
(Aeris's staff extends 20 feet)
AERIS: You were saying…?
CLOUD: Um…your house is that way, yes?
(Aeris and Cloud move on to Aeris's house)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That extending staff thing was taken (*ahem* I meant borrowed) from a old Chinese story about a monkey warrior who had this staff that could extend really, really long and stops evil and helps the good. So I guess this should be included in the disclaimer.