In Which Everyone Finds Out About Everything
I like it when you chain me to the bedI love the way you look at me I love the way you smack my ass, I love the dirty things you do, I have control of youI heard myself singing distractedly, not really paying attention to the words. We had started up an impromptu kareoke contest at the Prancing Pony and everyone was singing and drinking, drinking and singing
"Ay, 'Arry, be a goo' lad an fetch 'nother roun' fer us will ya?" Hagrid asked me so I shakily walked over to the bar.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Hermione singing some song I had never heard of before. I can stand with the weight of the world on my shoulders, I can fight with the toughest of the tough, I can laugh in the face of all my insecurities--anytime, anywhere, anything, I'm strong enough. But when you're holding me like this, I'm carelessly lost in your touch. I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly, falling in loveHer voice isn't half bad, I thought as I carried the drinks over to the corner of the room. We had all gathered here for one last full-blown party before school started up again and we needed to be studious people. Hermione's song was definitely catching Ron's attention, I thought with semi-moist eyes. It's about damn time!
"So, as I was saying, he was so wrong about the whole thing!" Pansy was obviously talking to Lavender but the other girl was not listening. Instead she glared at the bar where Seamus was sitting with Brioc and Dean. Ooh, if looks could kill.
It turned out that Lavender wanted to sing almost as badly as she wanted to kill Finnagan so she was up on stage before I could even tell what was happening. You always said that I have multiple personalities-I bounce around somewhere between my dreams and reality. So where'd you dig up the audacity to ask me how we've all been doing since you broke our hearts? Well, so far: number 5 just cries a river a minute, 7 wants to tie you up and drown you in it, yeah 14 wants to say 'so long, bygones', 32 wants to do things to you that'll make you blush, 10 will key the El Camino that you love so much, and there ain't nobody wants to mess with 23. Oh, lucky for you tonight I'm just meSeamus just chatted on oblivious to everything, so I turned my attention to Sirius who was lost in a funny story that was embarrassing Remus tremendously. Sirius was already more plastered than most of us, well, except maybe Snape but he's got a reason to be drunk after the problems he's had this summer.
"Hey, baby, you're not drinkin barey anythin. Fraid I'll take advantage of you?" Draco whispered in my ear and then nibbled on it seductively. Yeah, he was drunk too.
"I was planning on it," I replied with a wink and a kiss, then drained my margarita I had been milking for a good half-hour or so.
"Harry, careful not to get a brain freeze," Remus warned me.
"Yes, Mom," I deadpanned, which got a laugh from him.
I hadn't even noticed Hagrid had gotten up from the table until I heard him singing. I feel pretty, oh so prettyNo way. I turned and confirmed that it was, in fact, Hagrid singing with a tablecloth around him as a dress. Oh my god, I thought and turned away. I shifted down a seat to where Hermione was sitting since she wasn't talking to anyone at the time. She had been acting different lately and I was not sure what was going on anymore.
"Hey there, you seem kindaunsettled. Is everything okay?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, everything's fine, Harry. Don't worry about me," she said dismissively as if all was good and I wasn't convinced for a second.
"Stop the bull, what is it? You wanna go somewhere more private? I can tell you're thinking heavily on something."
"I'm that transparent?"
"Only to me, don't fret. So are you going to tell me?"
"It's Ron."
"You love him--yes, you do. And he feels the same. Why don't you guys get together already?" My patience was waning greatly, I had to get them together already, it was pathetic.
"It's not that simple. And don't say he feels the same, I'm like a sister to him," she protested half-heartedly, trying to hide a deeper sadness, then added, "We've talked and there is just too much skeletons in my closet for him, for anybody. That's okay by me, really it is. Anyway, I honestly believe that he wants to snog Lavender. He's spent a majority of the night tucked in a booth with her. I'm going to get another drink, you want one?"
"Sure, why not? Listen, something's up. I think he and I need to have a little chat. Be right back," I said and went over to the table where Ron was sitting at, cozy with Lavender in the booth. I would have believed the same thing as Hermione (and did for a second) except for their faces, both laden with tearful expressions.
"Is your point of the night to cause another's pain? Or to just forget about your SOUL MATE?!?" I asked him without preamble, more acid in the words than I had intended.
"What are you on about, Harry?"
"Hermione, you git! What kind of impression do you think you are making, being in here with Lavender the whole time? No, offense, Lav," I added hastily and she nodded indifferently.
"Oh, shite. What should I do, Harry? I can't lose her, we've gotten closer in the past couple daysoh no, this is bad, really badoh no"
"Ron, this is no time to panic," I assured him, then turned around as I heard someone singing again--Hermione? She had a bottle of Jack's in her hand and was swaying. Tonight for the first time, just about a half past ten, for the first time in history, it's gonna start raining men-hallelujah! It's raining men! I'm gonna go out, let myself get absolutely soaking wet! At this point she started groping whichever guy was closest and started wandering around the pub.
"Can we panic now, Harry?" Ron asked, to which I had no response.
"Go get her, Ron, before she ends up doing something she regrets later," Lavender interrupted, sounding like she knew something about that. HmmmNo. Now's not the time.
Oliver started to sing as Ron helped Hermione (she had fallen over a table she'd been trying to dance on). He was now their Quidditch Coach since he had graduated years back, with a time in between where he had tried introducing the sport to some open-minded Muggles in the States mostly (and failed dramatically). He was standing on a chair and almost bellowing across the room. Know all about, about your reputation, but I can't help it if I'm helpless every time I'm where you are. Say my name and I can't fight it anymore, oh I know I should go but I need your touch just too DAMN much. Whoa. Wonder where all that passion has been hidden, he's always seemed the aloof kind.
"Harry! Darling! Come here this second!" Draco called me over to him.
"What?"
"Follow me, cowboy," he said mysteriously and dragged me along behind him. I could tell he was already passed his reasonable drinking point, even for someone who knew how to handle his liquor. I was shoved into a closet and then Draco pounced. I thought ever-so-briefly of protesting but all was forgotten when Draco's hands started caressing my chest and back. I tried to unbutton his shirt but ended up ripping most of it when I got too frustrated. We exchanged sloppy, drunken kisses that barely held any of their usual potency. The loud knock on the door startled me from my semi-conscious state.
"Helllloooo?" Seamus called from the outside. Damn him. He couldn't just wait a little bit longer "Why won't this damn thing open?" He tried opening the door again, to no avail.
I hurriedly tried to readjust my clothing as my love did the same. "Dammit all, where the hell is my shirt?" I asked nobody in particular. I located it and tugged it on, switching the lock on the door (assuming Draco was fully clothed by then).
"Whoa! What're you guys doing comin' out of the closet?" Seamus asked, voice laden with alcohol.
"Um, we were just"
"Yeah, ok, my turn." Draco was shoved out of the doorframe and the door was closed. I hadn't even noticed who went in with him, I realized absently. I grabbed for Draco's hand and turned to see he was shirtless.
"What happened to your clothes?"
"You ripped my shirt open, member?"
"Heh, oh yeah, so sorry," I apologized, both of us knowing it was a lie.
"Just as sorry as I'm about almost impaling you with the doorknob when we were snoggingHehe, we should probably"
"Get back to the others now?"
"Sure, I guess"
"In a minute," I said as I massaged his palm with my fingers.
"Draco! Harry!" Hermione interrupted us mid-kiss.
"Uh, Mione, what the bloody hell do you want now?" Draco asked her, not untangling himself from me at all.
"You guys should see this, Fred and George have been doing kareoke for like three songs already--you just missed "I've got you babe" and "Night Fever"come see!" I glanced at Draco--he didn't want to go either, I knew. But we went anyway, our own pleasures having to wait.
I'm the big attraction, you're the small. Anyone you can lick, I can lick faster. I can drink liquor faster than a flicker. No, you can't. Yes, I can. No, you can't. Yes, I can. Nobody in the audience cared that they were messing the lyrics up. Then again, I would bet that not a lot of them knew as many Muggle musicals as I do anyway. Finally the infamous Weasley twins fell over (whether drunk or exhausted I don't know) and I awaited the next person--anyone has to be better than them. Boy was I wrong.
I am a man of constant sorrow, I've seen trouble all my days, no pleasure hell on Earth I've found. For, in this world, I'm born to ramble, I have no friends to help me nowCollin only started singing but people already took the mic away from him and passed it on to someone else. Blaise took it and cleared his throat. I could not remember a time I had head the guy sing, barely even heard him talk before. We were, wanna-be rebels who didn't have a clue, with our rock 'n roll t-shirts and our typically bad attitudes. Had no excuses for the things that we've done: we were brave, we were crazy, we were mostly youngHuh. Blaise's voice was deeper than I expected but it was definitely better than the twins or Collin. I followed my beloved back to our corner tables and sat in his lap when he chose a solitary seat instead of a booth.
"Hey, hey, none of that now," Brioc muttered jokingly so I sat in his lap too. He shoved me off and I landed in an empty chair. Ron was sitting next to me, protectively cupping his beer and staring into oblivion. I noticed Hermione's absence then and decided to be more helpful in playing cupid than I had been in the past.
"I see the look in your eyes, Harry, and it scares me. No more matchmaking. Leave well enough alone, what's not meant to be cannot be cured by just you," Ron said exasperatingly when I had clapped my hands together decisively.
"I've had enough of the miserable people in my life--y'all need to get happy right quick. And I'll be there to help."
"Whatever, fine, don't listen to a word I say. The problem is not with your matchmaking skills, they're superb, as many a couple would know. But Hermione and I, wewe're just two totally different people who don't fit together. Just forget about it, it's not like I really like her or anything," Ron tried, anguish in his every word. I figured helping Hermione out should be the first step in fixing their relationship. I found her sitting at the bar with three empty Guiness next to her and a full one in her hand.
"Mione? Listen, Ron really likes you," I started, unsettled by her appearance. I had expected crying but found her staring blankly into nothingness and it was all the more heartbreaking.
"Just not that way, right? Hey, it's okay. I wasn't expecting anything, I'd stopped hoping a long time ago. It was justhe's been so nice lately and I had thought things would be different for some reason, forget it," she replied sadly. Hell, Ron and her were not two different people, they were so alike they even thought the same way!
"Now, listen to me Hermione Granger. Ron is one of my best friends and he loves you, so much you better just get up off your lazy arse and go prove to him how you feel! I'm sick and tired of the two of you both being stupid and miserable idiots when you could be together and happy!" I snapped, the alcohol wearing off slightly. I chugged the rest of Hermione's Guiness and ordered a bottle of Tequilla for the table.
Aim too sexy fer my kilt, too sexy fer my kilt, so sexy it hurtsI heard as I walked over to the corner and saw Brioc giving Dean a lap dance. I slid in next to Draco and showed him the bottle--Jose Cuervo was a favorite of ours.
"Where you been all my life," he almost purred and slid a leg over mine. You could tell he was totally drunk off his ass when he got really horny. This was worse than Spring Break last year. Or, oh god, Sirius and Remus' Wedding. Hahanot much else can get worse than that.
It was the event of the year, as any Maurader's Wedding should be. While the 'usual suspects' were busy licking frosting off each other's fingers, I decided that we should liven things up a bit. The twins' joke shop also carried Muggle supplies so I had them order some Viagra. George had said it was sure to cause fun at every party. I didn't know exactly what it was for, I just took his word for it--maybe it was some sort of drug, like LSD or something. Boy, did things turn out interesting when everyone got a large dose of it in their punch. Not to mention the alcohol Sirius had for the open bar. All in all, it had been the most interesting (and most frisky) wedding reception I had ever been to. And I'd been to a fair share. The good balance was the ceremony before the party--the actual wedding. Remus, being Remus, decided that they should write their own vows, from the heart (that's why Sirius was bothering me at 2 AM the night before the wedding for ideas, always fretting over not being able to live up to Remus' talent for words). They were so absolutely beautiful and touching, when they were reading them they were both in tears, all the guests were getting teary-eyed, and I was sobbing. They were the only family I have, truly, and it was just so heartfelt, I wished to god that I would be able to get married one day to someone I loved as much as they love each other.
With that thought, I looked over at Draco, who was singing and swaying in his seat. Round five or round six, I forgot what I came to forget; after round seven, or was it eight? I bought a round for the whole damn place, after nine rounds with Jose Cuervo they were counting me out and I was about to give in and after ten rounds with Jose CuervoI lost track and started counting again!
"Hey, Drac, let's play a game or somethin," I suggested to him.
"Ooh, ya! I go get some peoples," he drawled and left quickly towards the bar.
Black, white, green, red; can I take my friend to bed? Pink, brown, yellow, orange, and blue; I love youRon was singing loudly and causing some stares from customers not involved in our celebration, so I grabbed his shirt and yanked him down into a chair.
"What're you on?" I yelled at him.
"Haaaaarrrrrryymate, I loooooove you!" Ron shouted, hugging me. I brought him to the bar and put him on a stool.
"Artie, take care of him, please?" When he nodded, I left. As soon as I came back around the corner, I wish I hadn't.
Find out how hard I gotta work ya, let's get drunk it'll bring us closer, you won't find a bitch that's even better--I'll make you hot as Las Vegas weather. I'm not a prostitute but I can give ya what ya wantGinny sang, dancing around and grinding with people. Hermione grabbed her and escorted her to the bathroom before she could humiliate herself even more.
I'll be here in sunshine or in shadowwww, Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I lovoooe you so. And if you come, when all the flowers are dyingggg. And I am dead, as dead I well may beeee. And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread abooove me. And all my dreams will warm and sweeeeeter be. If you'll not fail to tell me that you loooove meeee. I'll simply sleep in peace until you come with meeeeeeSeamus sang, dancing on top of the bar despite Arthur's protests. Silly Irish people, I thought as I ordered another round for everyone. I was starting to get seriously tipsy and my attention was kind of fading in and out, but so was everyone else so that's okay.
What, am I not supposed to have an opinion? Should I keep quiet just because I'm a woman? Call me a bitch cause I speak what's on my mind, guess it's easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled; You must talk so big, to make up for smaller thingsPansy sang, surprising everyone with the ferocity and talent in her voice. Draco took over, looking at me suggestively. Oh, god, this should be interestingWhatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty good manlick him like a lolipop should be licked; can I get some fries with that shake-shake booty, if looks could kill you would be an uzi or a shot-gun BANG, what's up with that thing--I wanna know, how does it hang? Straight up, wait up, hold up, mista lovaHermione stopped him from continuing when she took the mic yet again. Maybe she was taking my advice with the Ron situation, I thought when I heard the song she was singing.
I often tell myself that we could be, more than just friends. I know you think that if we move too soon, it would all end. I live in misery when you're not around, and I won't be satisfied till we're taking those vows. What's it gonna be? Cause I can't pretend. Don't you wanna be, more than friends? Hold me tight and don't let go, you have the right to lose control. There'll be some love-makin, heart-breakin, soul-shakin, loooveRunning in and out my life, has got me so confused, you gotta make the sacrifice, somebody's gotta chose, we can make it if we try, for the sake of you and I, together we can make it rightBy the way Ron was looking at her I had a feeling that they'd figure it out for themselves now that I pushed them in the right direction.
"Harry, let's go in the back and play some cards or something," Draco said to me, pulling me in for another sloppy tequilla-flavored kiss.
"Okay, let's round some people up and get a game going."
It ended up being Draco, Ron, Hermione, Seamus, Oliver, Brioc, Ginny, Lavender, and I in the back room (with more to come later). We decided on a truth or dare type game, mixed with 20-questions so it was only the 'truth' half of the game. The last thing we heard before closing the door was Dobby singing on stage--Oh. My. God. All you people look at me like I'm a little girl. Well did you ever think it be okay for me to step into this world. I'm a slave for you. I won't deny it; I'm not trying to hide it! Nobody noticed the twins' slipping in a veritaserum into the drinks of those in back. Mixing magic with alcohol usually resulted in some pretty interesting things, which they found out later.
"Ron, hmmm.I had heard"Draco was asking first. "Is it true that you absolutely love disco music?"
"This is all Neville's faultIt's not that big a deal!" He protested Seamus and Brioc's comments.
"Ok, Brioc, are yougay or straight?"
" I was only pretending to be gay," Brioc answered with a smile, surprised at the lack of control over his response.
"WHAT?" Seamus exclaimed angrily.
"So, Ginny, are you a virgin or not?" Brioc asked, re-focusing the attention off him, picking her to cause a reaction, as per usual with him.
"Not," she admitted quietly.
"What? Are you serious?" Ron screamed. "Collin"
"NO! NO! Don't do anything, Ron," she begged and Hermione restrained Ron enough.
"It wasn't Collin, don't kill him, please!"
"Hey, let's forget about it everyone, ok?" Seamus asked, causing Hermione and me to glance over at him because of his outburst.
"Anyway, Lavender, is it true you slept with Seamus over Spring Break?" Ginny asked, vengeance in her eyes.
"Yeah, he said he loved me, didn't you, Seamus?" Resentful anger dripped from her words.
"Wait, Wait, Wait, hold it--everyone raise your hand if you slept with Seamus" Brioc asked, the first to raise his hand.
A bunch of other hands went up hesitantly--Lavender, Oliver, Ginny, Hermione, andDraco?
"Why are you raising your hand?" Ron and I asked at the same time (though to obviously, different people), his angry and mine shocked.
"Wha? Oh, what're we raising our hands for again? Isn't this a vote for more tequilla?" Draco asked, completely oblivious to the world as usual. I kissed him hard on the mouth, laughing at my lover yet again.
"What was that for?" Draco asked me.
"Oh, I was just reminded why it was I loved you so much."
"Oh, okay, that's nice."
I looked over the table to where Ron was screaming--he was a very angry drunk, his temper was bad enough when he is sober.
"You slept with the Irish Whore too? Jesus, Mary, Joseph!"
"Ron, calm down, it was a little while agoI was going through a rough patchIt meant nothing. And that's beside the point! I'm not your girlfriend and you do not have the right to yell at me for what's my business!" Hermione stormed out of the room, slamming the door open.
The kareoke was still going on out in the main room and with the door open we could hear the music again. I heard you' re doing okay but I don't want to know, I'm a dickI'm addicted to you. Percy sang, voice cracking towards the end, followed by a hiccup. He is so drunkEveryone is, actually. Haha.
"Hey, will you get me a drink? Please?" Draco asked, leaning onto my shoulder with a yawn. He often reminded me of a feline in the way he acted, right now looking like a kitten, begging for a treat.
"Yeah, okay," I replied. Everyone else wanted another round too so I ordered a case of malts and was waiting for them to come when Madame Hooch started to sing. Pour me, pour me, another shot of whiskey, bartender hit me one more time. He left, I cried, I'm lost inside, won't you help me? Fill it to the top cause I hit rock bottom this timeI grabbed the case and brought it back to the room.
"Yay! Harry! Hurry up and bring the drinks over! We're still playing, Olly is tellin us some affair he had with a married American woman--it's great!" Draco shouted jovially.
"Hermioneare you really a prostitute?" Brioc asked in a joking way.
She sobbed, upset beyond belief. Oh, no, I thought, wondering how many rumors have gone round tonight. She ran out of the room and the silence was broken as Charlie was heard from the other room. I said hey little girl you sure look nice. Do you wanna ride? I won't bite, she climbs inside and says Hell no, I want to drive!' Forget pink and purple paisleys. Little mellow-yellow daisies. Ain't no pot of gold in her rainbow. Her favorite color is, chrome
"Ron, go after her!" I whispered to him, he was staring into his beer again (as if it held all the answers of the Universe). "She doesn't want to see me, she thinks I told everyone"
"Shut up. I'm fuckin fed up with the two of you lovin each other and not being with each other! Now get your sorry arse up those stairs and fuckin apologize for everything and explain and make her feel better and tell her how you FEEL, god dammit!" Whoa, where did that come from? I didn't usually yell at Ron that much.
"Ok, ok. I'm going. Jesus, Harry, calm down," he said as he exited swiftly.
Everyone else was still talking and being merry that they didn't notice that Draco was paling at Brioc's question. "So is it true that your Daddy beat you as a kid? Yeah, he took EVERYTHING from you, didn't he, Dracy?" Brioc almost teased Draco. Where the hell did that come from? Brioc seemed to know JUST the right questions to ask to cause the MOST problems.
" Fermé vous le garçon stupide, se cassent et mangent la saleté!" Draco said slowly, almost hyperventilating then he apparated elsewhere. Oh great, now I'll have to guess where he went--he couldn't of just run out or something like a normal person, he could be anywhere!
"You guys just don't know when to stop, do you?" I screamed angrily, leaving the room disgusted at their behavior. Lavender was talking to Ginny in the corner of the room so she hadn't noticed anything about the game anyway. The twins, Brioc, and Seamus all opened another round of beers each before I even got out of the room.
"Don't worry, Harry, Draco will be okay. Come on, let's get some food," Charlie said, who had seen everything and put an arm around my shoulder, leading me towards a booth.
You might've heard I run with a dangerous crowd, we ain't too pretty, we ain't too proud, we might be laughing a bit too loud, but that never hurt no one, I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners have much more fun, only the good die youngSeverus was singing from the stage. Funny how my feelings towards my Potions teacher have changed since my first years attending Hogwarts. Most of it was because of being involved with Draco, and also because of our somewhat shared past, him being friends with Remus.
Things got really loud all of a sudden and Professor McGonagall started dancing and singing. Everybody's doing a brand new dance now, come on baby, do the LocomotionShe started a conga line which a lot of people were joining in on. I'm not seeing thislittle did I know things would only get worse.
I may be a real bad boy, but baby I'm a real good man. I may drink too much and play too loud, might hang out with a rough and rowdy crowd, might have a reckless streak at least a country mile wide, if you're gonna run with me it's gonna be a wild ride. When it comes to lovin you, I've got velvet handsSirius sang, looking at Remus towards the end.
Bill got the mic next and started to sing. Good gracious, ass is bodacious! Flirtacious, trying to show patience; get up on the dance floor and give that man what he askin for--cause I feel like bustin loose and I feel like touchin you! It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes!
"Never thought my brother would be involved with Snape--but they're good for each other. I have a feeling Mum's gonna have a lot of weddings on her hands pretty soon--Severus and Bill are already scheduled for next fall; Nessa and I may be sometime soon--not to mention Ron and Hermione if they ever get their act together, and Draco and you of course. Geez, hopefully we don't have a bunch of repeat's of Sirius and Remus' wedding because I don' think my system could handle that much alcohol on that many occassions," Charlie joked, eating some fish and chips.
Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on. Livin' like a lover with a radar phone. Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp. Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet. Little mr innocent sugar me, yeah. C'mon, take a bottle, shake it up. Break the bubble, break it up. Pour some sugar on me. Ooh, in the name of love. Pour some sugar on me. C'mon fire me up. Pour your sugar on me. Oh, I can't get enough. You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little. Tease a little more. Easy operator come a knockin' on my door. Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet. Little Mr. innocent sugar me, yeahRemus sang, surprising everyone, including Sirius, who the song was directed to.
Hermione, Draco, Ron, and the twins were all missing by the end of the night, almost everyone else passed out in rooms upstairs. I sat at the bar, which was practically empty now, drinking some butterbeer and eating a sandwich.
All of a sudden the wind outside blew fiercely, causing the shutters to flap wildly and weird howls to come from the cracks of the door.
::Say goodbye HarryYou cannot escape me this time!:: I bolted upright, not even realizing I was resting my head on the bar. Where had that voice come from? All of a sudden something hit me from behind and I blacked out, not remembering anything after that.