Chapter 18: Apologies
A/N: I just realized after watching a rerun of the first part of Life and Death, that I left Lucy's friend, Christine out of the story completely. Oh well, just pretend that she was never there. This chapter has a lot of emotions in it, but it's a good thing. Also, I don't know if I am about to end this story or not. It seems like it is slowing down. As long as I still have inspiration to continue it, I will.
(Simon's POV)
I was freaked out when Kevin walked Ruthie to the waiting room and I saw her crying. I thought something bad had happened, but then I noticed Kevin was smiling.
"What's the matter?" Mom asked, jumping up.
"Nothing," Ruthie replied," I'm just so happy."
I was stunned. She was talking. After so many months of silence and emotionless stares. I couldn't believe it at first. It seemed to be too good to be true, but then she continued speaking.
"I'm so sorry. I know I hurt you all because I wasn't talking. I really can't explain to you why I did that, but I hope you will all forgive me," she finished.
No one else made a move, so I embraced her," Of course we will."
Soon the entire family was around Ruthie in a giant group hug, minus Lucy of course. It felt so good to be together in that moment. It felt like our family was finally going to be okay after months of sorrow, grief and loss. I almost didn't want the moment to end, but it did and we all headed off in separate directions.
I followed Ruthie to the cafeteria to get a snack.
"Ruthie," I started.
"Don't. I know what you are going to say and I don't want to hear it. It's not your fault I quit talking. I just needed some time of quiet reflection. The silence seemed like the only way to achieve that. It really scared me when I thought you would die. You wouldn't even begin to understand how much it hurt me," she poured her heart out.
"But I do. Don't you know how much I wanted to live. The second I woke up in the hospital I was filled with regret. I wanted so much to live. And then when I did live and I found out you wouldn't talk. Well, it broke my heart. I love you so much, little sister," I began to sob, I didn't even care that it wasn't manly.
"I. I had no idea how you felt," she said," it feels like I've been away for months."
"Yeah, it felt like you were gone. I mean, you were there, but since you isolated yourself from the family, it seemed like you weren't there," I told her.
"I know, but after so many months of being alone, I just couldn't suddenly start acting normal. I didn't know how to make myself a part of the family again. I'm sorry I made you feel bad," she cried.
"So, whatever brought you to speak again?" I asked, the curiousity too strong to just ignore.
"I was holding Samantha in my arms and she was just so beautiful, I had to say so," she smiled.
"She is beautiful," I laughed," and sort of a miracle. I mean she got you to talk again."
"It feels good to be back," she hugged me," thanks for letting me let out some of my feelings."
"No prob, just know you can always talk to me. I will love you, no matter what happens," I said.
(David's POV)
My family spends a lot of time at the hospital. This time everybody was happy. Lucy had a baby. I got to hold it in my arms. She was so small. Mommy told me I used to be that size, but I don't believe her. There's no way I was that tiny. I am happy that my family isn't sad any more. It was making me sad to see my Mommy and Daddy cry so much. My Twinless Twin group says it's normal for Mommys and Daddys to cry sometimes, but I don't like it. It's kind of scary to me.
"Hey David," Ruthie came into my room.
"Hi Ruthie," I said.
"So, how are you?" she asked.
"I'm okay, but I thought you were mad at me," I told her.
"No. I wasn't mad at anyone. I just didn't feel like talking. I was sad. I apologize if you thought I was mad at you," she explained.
"It's okay. Wanna play a game?" I asked.
"Sure," she replied," what do you want to play?"
"Candyland," I replied. (A/N: I don't know if Candyland is one word or two).
"Okay, let's go," she said, taking my hand.
(Annie's POV)
I was very relieved when Ruthie started talking again. I was so worried that she would never talk again. Her voice was music to my ears. It had been months since I'd heard it and was glad to hear it again. I missed her. When we left the hospital, Ruthie made her rounds at home, talking to everyone. She seemed to be avoiding me though. It hurt me, but I know it was hard on her to let out emotions she had kept quiet for months. She was in David's room, just finishing a game of Candyland, when she caught me.
"Mom, I've been meaning to catch you," she said," I need to talk to you."
"Sure honey, what is it?" I asked.
"I'm sorry I've been avoiding you for so long," she started.
"It's okay," I told her.
"No, it's not. I know it hurt you that I wouldn't talk and then when I did, I avoided you. I knew talking to you would be the hardest, so I wanted to save it for last," she took a deep breath," I can't explain why I wouldn't talk, but I can say, the longer I kept quiet the harder it was to speak up again. It was easier to withdraw farther into myself than to open up again. Even though I knew I was breaking your heart, I didn't want to speak. It broke my heart too. You have no idea how many nights I stayed up late to cry by myself. I even thought for a little while that maybe you were all better off without my interference in your daily lives. Mom, please don't interupt me yet. Then I realized how wrong that was. At this point, I had been silent for so long, I didn't think I could just up and speak like nothing was wrong. So, it finally felt right to say something when I held Samantha in my arms. She was just so beautiful, I had to say so."
Tears were streaming down my face," Oh my baby."
"I'm sorry, Mommy," she whispered.
"I love you so much. Don't ever feel like you can't talk again. No matter what it is, you can tell your mother, okay?"
"Okay," she sniffled.
We sat for a few minutes, just hugging and crying. It felt so good to have my baby open up to me again. She had been closed off for so long, I felt like I had lost her. Then she got up and wiped her eyes.
"Thanks for listening, Mom," she said," I've gotta go and call Peter. I think he's upset with me."
I watched her walk away. Then Eric walked into the room and looked worried," Everything okay?"
"Yes, everything is fine," I said.
"It's good to have her talking again isn't it?" he asked.
"Very good," I agreed.
"Things are really starting to feel more normal around here. That's good for all of us," Eric thought out loud.
"Yeah, it is. In fact, we haven't all sat down to dinner in so long, I can't remember the last time. When Lucy gets out of the hospital, we need to have her, Kevin and the baby over to have a big family dinner," I suggested.
"Good idea. Lately, it seems like every time we all get together, it's for something bad. Except for Lucy's baby. Now that Ruthie's talking, we can all have a nice dinner together. I just wish Matt, Sarah and Mary could come," Eric replied.
"Yeah, that would be perfect, but it won't happen. They are already behind from coming out here last time. Mary doesn't have anymore vacation time and Matt is really backed up in school," I explained.
"Oh. I forgot about that," he frowned, but then his eyes lit up.
"What?" I asked.
"Um, nothing. I just thought of something," he said, leaving me to sit alone.
Coming soon: Is Eric up to something?
A/N: I just realized after watching a rerun of the first part of Life and Death, that I left Lucy's friend, Christine out of the story completely. Oh well, just pretend that she was never there. This chapter has a lot of emotions in it, but it's a good thing. Also, I don't know if I am about to end this story or not. It seems like it is slowing down. As long as I still have inspiration to continue it, I will.
(Simon's POV)
I was freaked out when Kevin walked Ruthie to the waiting room and I saw her crying. I thought something bad had happened, but then I noticed Kevin was smiling.
"What's the matter?" Mom asked, jumping up.
"Nothing," Ruthie replied," I'm just so happy."
I was stunned. She was talking. After so many months of silence and emotionless stares. I couldn't believe it at first. It seemed to be too good to be true, but then she continued speaking.
"I'm so sorry. I know I hurt you all because I wasn't talking. I really can't explain to you why I did that, but I hope you will all forgive me," she finished.
No one else made a move, so I embraced her," Of course we will."
Soon the entire family was around Ruthie in a giant group hug, minus Lucy of course. It felt so good to be together in that moment. It felt like our family was finally going to be okay after months of sorrow, grief and loss. I almost didn't want the moment to end, but it did and we all headed off in separate directions.
I followed Ruthie to the cafeteria to get a snack.
"Ruthie," I started.
"Don't. I know what you are going to say and I don't want to hear it. It's not your fault I quit talking. I just needed some time of quiet reflection. The silence seemed like the only way to achieve that. It really scared me when I thought you would die. You wouldn't even begin to understand how much it hurt me," she poured her heart out.
"But I do. Don't you know how much I wanted to live. The second I woke up in the hospital I was filled with regret. I wanted so much to live. And then when I did live and I found out you wouldn't talk. Well, it broke my heart. I love you so much, little sister," I began to sob, I didn't even care that it wasn't manly.
"I. I had no idea how you felt," she said," it feels like I've been away for months."
"Yeah, it felt like you were gone. I mean, you were there, but since you isolated yourself from the family, it seemed like you weren't there," I told her.
"I know, but after so many months of being alone, I just couldn't suddenly start acting normal. I didn't know how to make myself a part of the family again. I'm sorry I made you feel bad," she cried.
"So, whatever brought you to speak again?" I asked, the curiousity too strong to just ignore.
"I was holding Samantha in my arms and she was just so beautiful, I had to say so," she smiled.
"She is beautiful," I laughed," and sort of a miracle. I mean she got you to talk again."
"It feels good to be back," she hugged me," thanks for letting me let out some of my feelings."
"No prob, just know you can always talk to me. I will love you, no matter what happens," I said.
(David's POV)
My family spends a lot of time at the hospital. This time everybody was happy. Lucy had a baby. I got to hold it in my arms. She was so small. Mommy told me I used to be that size, but I don't believe her. There's no way I was that tiny. I am happy that my family isn't sad any more. It was making me sad to see my Mommy and Daddy cry so much. My Twinless Twin group says it's normal for Mommys and Daddys to cry sometimes, but I don't like it. It's kind of scary to me.
"Hey David," Ruthie came into my room.
"Hi Ruthie," I said.
"So, how are you?" she asked.
"I'm okay, but I thought you were mad at me," I told her.
"No. I wasn't mad at anyone. I just didn't feel like talking. I was sad. I apologize if you thought I was mad at you," she explained.
"It's okay. Wanna play a game?" I asked.
"Sure," she replied," what do you want to play?"
"Candyland," I replied. (A/N: I don't know if Candyland is one word or two).
"Okay, let's go," she said, taking my hand.
(Annie's POV)
I was very relieved when Ruthie started talking again. I was so worried that she would never talk again. Her voice was music to my ears. It had been months since I'd heard it and was glad to hear it again. I missed her. When we left the hospital, Ruthie made her rounds at home, talking to everyone. She seemed to be avoiding me though. It hurt me, but I know it was hard on her to let out emotions she had kept quiet for months. She was in David's room, just finishing a game of Candyland, when she caught me.
"Mom, I've been meaning to catch you," she said," I need to talk to you."
"Sure honey, what is it?" I asked.
"I'm sorry I've been avoiding you for so long," she started.
"It's okay," I told her.
"No, it's not. I know it hurt you that I wouldn't talk and then when I did, I avoided you. I knew talking to you would be the hardest, so I wanted to save it for last," she took a deep breath," I can't explain why I wouldn't talk, but I can say, the longer I kept quiet the harder it was to speak up again. It was easier to withdraw farther into myself than to open up again. Even though I knew I was breaking your heart, I didn't want to speak. It broke my heart too. You have no idea how many nights I stayed up late to cry by myself. I even thought for a little while that maybe you were all better off without my interference in your daily lives. Mom, please don't interupt me yet. Then I realized how wrong that was. At this point, I had been silent for so long, I didn't think I could just up and speak like nothing was wrong. So, it finally felt right to say something when I held Samantha in my arms. She was just so beautiful, I had to say so."
Tears were streaming down my face," Oh my baby."
"I'm sorry, Mommy," she whispered.
"I love you so much. Don't ever feel like you can't talk again. No matter what it is, you can tell your mother, okay?"
"Okay," she sniffled.
We sat for a few minutes, just hugging and crying. It felt so good to have my baby open up to me again. She had been closed off for so long, I felt like I had lost her. Then she got up and wiped her eyes.
"Thanks for listening, Mom," she said," I've gotta go and call Peter. I think he's upset with me."
I watched her walk away. Then Eric walked into the room and looked worried," Everything okay?"
"Yes, everything is fine," I said.
"It's good to have her talking again isn't it?" he asked.
"Very good," I agreed.
"Things are really starting to feel more normal around here. That's good for all of us," Eric thought out loud.
"Yeah, it is. In fact, we haven't all sat down to dinner in so long, I can't remember the last time. When Lucy gets out of the hospital, we need to have her, Kevin and the baby over to have a big family dinner," I suggested.
"Good idea. Lately, it seems like every time we all get together, it's for something bad. Except for Lucy's baby. Now that Ruthie's talking, we can all have a nice dinner together. I just wish Matt, Sarah and Mary could come," Eric replied.
"Yeah, that would be perfect, but it won't happen. They are already behind from coming out here last time. Mary doesn't have anymore vacation time and Matt is really backed up in school," I explained.
"Oh. I forgot about that," he frowned, but then his eyes lit up.
"What?" I asked.
"Um, nothing. I just thought of something," he said, leaving me to sit alone.
Coming soon: Is Eric up to something?