:: Misinterpretations ::

Gensomaden Saiyuki/Sailormoon

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailormoon, which rightfully belongs to Naoko Takeuchi. Nor do I own Gensomaden Saiyuki, which rightfully belongs to Minekura Kazuya.

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: none-- and if there are to be any, they're likely to be shounen ai; the crossover pairings, if there are any, will be for sheer humor

Warnings: language, bad monks, strange humor, purposeful OOCness, not to be taken entirely seriously

Notes: Dear God, what am I getting myself into? I have yet another crossover for this fandom.

Beware, because this is intended for humorous purposes rather than the usual romance or character introspection that I usually write. I don't write humor often, though on the rare occasion I do I've been told it was actually funny. Well. We'll see.

This is yet another fic I'm writing in retaliation. That's right, it's the fandom's fault that I thought up this evil little plot bunny—if it can even be called that. This is an evil hell incarnate we have here. I didn't plan on it being multi-chaptered, but when I got to the fourth page and realized that I had yet to get to the fun part, I figured that I could make this into a short multi-chaptered fic.

I supposed that, in a way, this is replacing the Revengefic. I'm still a bit bitter about it being deleted (and flattered that so many people keep asking me for a copy of it—I'm sorry, but I don't have any, and I regret not saving extra files) and I'm especially bitter about how far downhill this fandom has gone. Maybe the quality wasn't wonderful when I first joined, but it sure as hell was ten times better than 90% of what's being posted now.

*sigh* Long rant again. I'm sorry. In any case, have fun reading. Even if you haven't seen Saiyuki, I'd ask you to read this, simply because I have a feeling this is one anime that should appeal to more people than it has.

Also, the first person that asks me to pair Goku or Sanzo with anyone but each other deserves a metaphorical fist to the jaw… or at least to suffer the wrath of Sanzo's harisen…

It was a perfectly typical setting. It was around midday; the sun was out, high in the sky and burning at its fiercest. Deserted land was the surrounding. Some vegetation sprouted here and there, but overall it was barren. Minus the four travelers, of course, who saw this sort of thing every day. Nothing was different from the usual; the two "children" in the back seat of the jeep were arguing, exchanging the same old insults. The driver just smiled; whether he was simply used to the noise or he was blocking it out was unclear even to his companions. The final traveler was staring straight ahead, his mouth a thin line and a vein twitching on his face as he refrained from beating on his companions. It was a useless fight; all four travelers knew he would give in eventually.

Yes, it was a perfectly typical setting, with perfectly typical travelers on a perfectly typical day.

"What the hell did you say, you stupid monkey?!"

A loud, almost animal growl was met with the insult. "Stop calling me a monkey, you perverted water sprite!"

The jeep rocked dangerously as the smaller of the two bickering boys leapt to the other side. Quick hands barely came up to catch the brown-haired boy's wrists in time; golden eyes locked with slanted red, both glaring in challenge; a test of wills.

"Now, now," the driver said calmly, not once taking his eyes off the road. "Don't start a fight. You'll hurt Hakuryuu." A small squeal met this statement which, oddly enough, seemed to come from the jeep. The driver smiled and patted the dashboard gently as though in comfort.

"OW! Don't bite me!"

"Get your hands off me then, you pervert!"

"Excuse me! I only go for girls; I wouldn't think twice about touching--!"

"You--!"

The fourth companion twitched visibly. Without warning he spun around and whacked the two arguing boys in the back with what seemed to be a large paper fan. Both yelped in pain as he snarled, "Shut the hell up! Annoying brats!"

The youngest of the travelers cringed, but a sullen look had seeped into his golden eyes. "But Sanzo," he whined, apparently ready to defend himself.

He didn't get the chance. The one addressed as Sanzo twitched and delivered a couple more sharp whacks with the fan. "Shut up and sit down!" For good measure he smacked the snickering redhead.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" the half-demon demanded hotly.

"For breathing," Sanzo snapped, settling back down into his seat, his arms folded over his chest. The paper fan he had wielded seemed to have disappeared into thin air. Now it was quiet in the backseat, though everyone knew it wouldn't last for long.

A perfectly normal day in the life of the Sanzo party.

"Hakkai," the youngest finally asked, leaning forward to hear the driver easier. "How much longer until the next town?"

Hakkai considered this question seriously, smiling faintly even in thought. "I'm guessing we'll be there in time to secure beds before nightfall, Goku."

The smaller brunette pouted. "But I'm hungry," he whined pathetically. To his left, Sanzo's left eyebrow visibly twitched; he closed his eyes as though the boy would shut up if he couldn't see him.

"One-trick monkey," the redhead in back muttered. Goku scowled; Sanzo snarled beneath his breath, and at the same time Hakkai said with an edge of warning, "Gojyo..."

Gojyo wisely shut up.

For a brief few minutes it looked as though the trip would go on, for the most part, in silence. All four boys would later feel that such a false sense of security should not have been accepted so easily.

It started with a small bump in the road. Only mildly alarmed, Hakkai moved to steer the jeep slightly to the right, but then a bright flash happened to appear right before them. Goku yelped; Gojyo swore; Sanzo's violet eyes widened in mild surprise; Hakkai simply cried, "Hakuryuu!" and a moment later all four young men found themselves on the dusty ground, none too happy about being dumped so suddenly. The jeep was gone, but a small white dragon emitted a little squeal and flew to Hakkai's aid.

"I thought I'd find you here."

Sanzo got to his feet, unperturbed by the strange woman's presence. His companions, however, showed a bit more surprise as they joined him.

"Who're you?" asked Goku, giving her a quizzical look as he locked his hands behind his head.

The young woman stood regally before them. She looked to be in her early twenties, with long, dark hair, dark green eyes, clothed in what looked to be a woman's bathing suit with a short green skirt, and a long silver staff in the shape of a large key was grasped in her left hand. Gojyo in particular was eyeing her carefully.

She made a slight bow. "My name is Setsuna, or Sailor Pluto. I am the Guardian of Time, and I've come to ask for your help."

If she expected more questions, or an immediate offer to help with whatever it was, she was sorely disappointed.

"Rejected," said Sanzo flatly.

"Not interested," Goku put in helpfully, grinning.

"Sorry," Hakkai apologized, smiling so kindly it was hard to tell if he was being sincere or not.

Gojyo just nodded, still eyeing her with mild interest. But he didn't give her a second glance when Sanzo walked past her; all three demons followed.

Setsuna blinked, dumbfounded, before she turned to face them. "Wait," she snapped. Sanzo sighed in annoyance, turning to glare at her from beneath gold bangs. She glared back. "You haven't even given me a chance to explain!"

"I fight only for myself," Sanzo said, unruffled by her anger.

"I'm afraid all of us follow that little rule," Hakkai said cheerfully.

The Guardian of Time growled. "But it's important! I need you to come to my world right now!" She looked ready to launch into a great speech. "The monsters there are becoming overwhelming as time goes by, and sometimes it even surprises me! I've come seeking for help because our fighters can't do it alone--"

"Sanzo," Goku whined, tugging on the priest's robes and clearly ignoring the woman. "I'm hungry..."

"Get off," Sanzo snapped.

"Are you listening?!" Pluto demanded.

"Oh, quit whining," Gojyo said, thumping Goku lightly on the head with his knuckles. Goku, insulted, slapped the water sprite's hand away and shot a few vehement words at him. Sanzo's hand appeared to be twitching, and Hakkai simply said, "Now, now..."

The Guardian of Time felt her face redden as irritation swelled up. Really, what was with the lack of cooperation? She'd brought over several boys to their time before -- sometimes even defying the laws of her position and crossing dimensions -- and all had been more than happy to help. If nothing else, they had at least reluctantly agreed!

It seemed there was only one way to get their attention. Pluto straightened, tapping her key gently against the ground. "I ask you this favor with urgings from the Merciful Goddess."

That did it. The group fell silent at those words, seeming to consider them carefully. Sanzo eyed her skeptically. "Is that so?"

"That's right," she said calmly, lying through her teeth. Pluto was as old as time; she could master the art of lying or simply skirting around the truth without appearing false. A senshi lived for truth and justice, yes, but this was urgent. "And I need all four of you to come with me right away."

Goku made a small noise, looking to his companions for help. Gojyo just shrugged. Hakkai considered her words before saying, "I believe that we should do the Merciful Goddess' biddings one task at a time."

"That's right," Gojyo agreed. "Otherwise we'll be sidetracked even more than we already are."

Pluto growled beneath her breath as Sanzo nodded curtly in agreement. Only when his back was to her and the group began to walk away again did she lose her temper.

"Then you leave me no choice," the Guardian of Time said dramatically. With a large sweep of her staff, she murmured something beneath her breath and pointed the large key at the small group in an overly dramatic movement. There was another bright flash, and when she opened her eyes again she was at the Time Gates, this time accompanied by four young men.

Before she could blink a second time there was a click. She found herself facing the barrel of a Smith and Wesson, obscuring piercing violet eyes.

"What. The. Hell. Did. You. Do?" Sanzo ground out furiously, his finger ready to pull the trigger.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Setsuna warned him. "Without me you can't possibly return to your own time."

"She may have a point," Hakkai sighed. "Let's think this over for a minute, Sanzo."

Still glaring with eyes that promised a painful death, Sanzo lowered the gun.

"Now," Hakkai said, his voice still smooth and pleasant. "What exactly did you want from us, Miss Pluto?"

"Modern Tokyo is in danger," she explained coolly. "I need you four to go down and meet the Sailor Senshi and help them defeat this evil menace."

"And if we refuse?" Goku asked.

Pluto smiled; it was so eerily similar to Hakkai's that it unnerved the poor demon. "Then I may accidentally send you to the wrong time on your way back."

Sanzo narrowed his eyes until they were almost nothing but white and violet slits. "You just want us to go there?"

"That's right."

"How long would this take?"

Pluto fought a grin; finally, he was beginning to see it her way! "I'd imagine anywhere from a couple hours to a day or so. Then you may go back to your own time, if you wish."

"Whoa, wait," Gojyo cut in, frowning. "What do you mean by, 'if you wish'?"

"Fine. We'll go down."

Sanzo's answer came before Pluto's, and his curt agreement took her off guard for a moment. Then she smiled, though inwardly she was dancing and cackling like a gleeful five year old on a pocky high. "I'm glad you see it my way."

"But Sanzo," Goku protested.

"Wait a minute, you bastard, what do you mean we?" Gojyo snarled, advancing on the blond monk. "You can't just decide for the rest of us!"

Without even blinking, Sanzo had the gun pressed to Gojyo's face. "Wanna die?" he asked calmly.

"Now, now..."

"Sanzo!"

Pluto decided to take advantage of their distraction; she couldn't risk having them back out at the last second, after all! Never mind that two of the young men were violently against it; the priest seemed to be the leader of the group (though she would have listened to the first person that agreed with her anyway).

She murmured a few words as she performed yet another fancy staff wave. Among these choice incantations were love, sacrifice, modern Tokyo, bishounen, trauma and random false guilt.

Sanzo didn't remove the gun from Gojyo's face even when he felt a strange tingling sensation that wasn't entirely comfortable. He bit back a sigh, dreading what was to come. He hadn't a clue exactly what it would be, but if the warriors they were going to meet were just as loony as the last woman then he believed he had good reason to worry.

After all, one could only sacrifice his sanity so many times.