:: Misinterpretations ::

Gensomaden Saiyuki/Sailormoon

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailormoon, which rightfully belongs to Naoko Takeuchi. Nor do I own Gensomaden Saiyuki, which rightfully belongs to Minekura Kazuya.

Rating: PG

Pairings: Gojyo+Makoto, Minako+Hakkai (HUMOR pairings, thank you)

Warnings: language, bad monks, strange humor, purposeful OOCness, not to be taken entirely seriously

Notes: Chapter two. This is where it starts to get really weird.

Let me clear something up for the readers, because a disturbing amount of you don't seem to realize that this fic is a HUMOROUS PARODY of other SMcrossover fics. This is not a Pluto fic (haven't you noticed that she was the most OOC character introduced so far?) and her OOCness is fully intended. If you people would have some patience, you'll find out why. I've always found that good stories have some foreshadowing and reveal all the important plot points later on (not that this has an intriguing plot).

Of course, a lot of people here don't even know how to write their own language, so why the hell am I bothering to explain something as complicated as foreshadowing? *sigh*

Then again, four out of five of the first reviewers didn't act like they'd even read the author's notes. They are here for a purpose, you know.

All Sailormoon OOCness is intended. By the end of the fic, only the Sanzo-ikkou will have stayed in character.

If you've read the author's notes and actually understand what I was trying to say, then please sit back and enjoy more of the parody.

For the Japanese Illiterate: youma is what the Sailor Senshi call their monster foes; bakazaru is what Sanzo (and sometimes Gojyo) often uses to call Goku "stupid monkey"

All that lit the room was a brightly burning fire. The flames danced in the air, crackling as they ate away at the wood beneath them. But this fire was a bit unusual; strange faces and noises could be seen and heard from it. None of the room's occupants were too surprised. After all, this was a sacred fire, and the priestess was simply looking into it for answers.

Rei Hino's head was bowed; dark strands of ebony fell around her, creating a curtain. Her violet eyes were only half open, her lips moving fast in a wordless prayer. Occasionally she would open her eyes all the way and stare at the fire. Sometimes she would smile, and other times she would frown and look worried.

Four girls sat quietly behind her. Well... three of the four were sitting quietly. One would shift and squirm every so often, but she knew better by now than to whine aloud. All girls were very pretty, like the priestess, though in different ways. Ami Mizuno was lovely in a shy, quiet way. Her hair was coloured deep blue, the very same shade as her slightly down turned eyes. Her expression was one of calm patience, though the slight stitch of her eyebrows gave away her worry.

Beside her was a petite blonde girl. Her hairstyle was a bit unusual, tied up in a bun on either side of her head with long streamers curling on the floor. Her eyes were also blue, but brighter and less down turned, giving her a more carefree and happy air than her blue-haired friend. Her name was Usagi Tsukino.

Beside her was a brunette named Makoto Kino. She was taller than all of the other girls and (some might say) blessed with more curves than any of the others. Her hair was pulled into a high ponytail, with strands of brown curling beside her ears, which were pierced with a cute pair of rose earrings. Her eyes were forest green, and they held a glint of determination and strength that the others seemed to lack.

The final girl was also blonde, and also blue-eyed. Her hair was long, nearly reaching the floor, and only the sideburns were pulled back with a large orange bow. Her eyes would shift occasionally around the room, though she wasn't anywhere near as restless as Usagi. She was Minako Aino.

Rei suddenly turned away from the fire. Her expression was relaxed, almost automatically putting the other girls at ease.

"Well," she said. "It seems like the random youma attacks aren't to be worried about too much. They're fairly weak monsters, and there doesn't seem to be a strong force behind them. If there is, they're reluctant to show themselves so soon, so we should be fine for now."

"That's a relief," Usagi sighed, unfolding her legs from beneath her to sit in a more comfortable position.

"However..."

Ami was instantly alert. "However?" she repeated.

Rei sighed. "However, there were human shapes in that fire. Someone's coming... and I can't figure out why. It seems to be at complete random, and they don't seem to pose a huge threat..."

"Random?" Makoto repeated.

"Yes," Rei said thoughtfully. "Strange, isn't it...?"

Silence fell over the small group. They seemed to be contemplating this strange idea... well, three of them were. Usagi simply had her head tilted back toward the ceiling, a bored expression on her face. If they were no immediate threat, why worry?

"I wonder if they were guys?" Minako murmured softly to their blonde leader.

Usagi grinned at her. "If so, I hope they're cute." Minako giggled.

"Oh, honestly," Ami sighed, shaking her head. However, the tiny smile on her lips gave away her lack of exasperation.

A loud, resounding crash! startled the unlikely warriors. They scrambled to their feet, sharing panicked looks.

"A youma? Already?" Rei muttered in disbelief, fleeing the room. The other four followed instantly afterwards. Though Rei had a head start, it was Makoto that reached the area that the noise had come from. All five girls gaped in disbelief at the sight before them.

Four young men were lying in a tangled pile a ways across the entrance to the Hino shrine. It seemed that they had fallen -- from what, only God knew -- from a high place and came crashing down on one of the rain roofs protruding from a charm stand. A vein twitched to life in Rei's forehead.

She opened her mouth, likely to ask what they thought they were doing, but there was a violet kick from one of the young men and they suddenly separated. The smallest skidded a couple feet, yelping in pain, and a mere second later a large fan came crashing down on his head.

"BAKAZARU!"

"Ow!"

Rei stared in complete disbelief. A blonde man was towering over the sullen brunette. The boy that had been insulted was rubbing the back of his head, giving the older man's large paper fan a weary look. Two more loud thwacks resounded, and the blonde man was shouting again.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, landing on me like that? Stupid!"

"I'm not the one that agreed to let that crazy woman drop us down here! I-- ow!"

"Shut the hell up!"

Ami's eyes were wide, one hand hovering near her mouth. "What in the world...?"

"He's going to hurt that poor kid..."

Minako had a rather silly smile on her face. When she began to giggle, the other four looked at her. "What's wrong?" Usagi asked.

"Nothing," she whispered, still giggling. "But the two guys behind those two are really cute..."

There were, indeed, two more young men. They couldn't have been any older than the blonde man; one had dark brown hair combed so that the bangs covered his left eye. He was smiling, a disturbingly happy but very charming smile that told the girls that this sort of thing seemed to happen every day. His lips were moving, but his voice was soft because none of the girls would hear a word he was saying.

The other man had one arm resting on the brunette's shoulder, a satisfied grin on his face as he watched the boy and blonde man argue. His hair was surprisingly long and bright red.

He was the first to notice the other girls. Once he saw them, he dropped his arm from his companion's shoulder, putting his hands into his pockets as he observed the girls. After a few brief moments of observing them, his eyes came to rest on Makoto. He gave a short wave.

Makoto felt her face heat slightly.

"Ohh," Minako sighed wistfully. "He likes you, Mako-chan..."

"What? No..."

"Hey," the redhead said loudly, causing the arguing pair to cease their actions. "Looks like we have company."

"Eh?" The smallest of the men got to his feet. He was a good head or so shorter than the man that had been whacking him mercilessly; he appeared to be about fourteen.

Without warning, Rei suddenly stormed forward. "Hey," she said brusquely. "Just what do you think you're doing? Look what you did to the temple!"

The smiling brunette took a step forward. "I'm sorry," he said gently. "We had no idea that we would land so... ungracefully."

The blonde man snorted.

"Where did you come from?" Ami asked with equal politeness.

"Well, that all depends..."

Rei's eyes narrowed. That was only the most suspicious thing the man could have said. If he was going to lie, the least he could do was come up with an alibi!

And though this particular man was very kind, she felt a disturbing aura from him, similar to that of a youma... and yet, different at the same time. Something was off about him, but it didn't exactly equal evil. The redhead carried a similar aura, and the boy's was a great deal stronger than either of theirs. Only the blonde didn't seem to radiate such strangeness.

But likely, that was because he felt a lot different.

"Ah! How impolite of us," the man said suddenly, still smiling. "My name is Hakkai."

"Gojyo," the redhead said, still eyeing Makoto with interest.

"I'm Goku," the youngest boy said, but he didn't seem interested in the introductions, because before anyone could say anything else he was asking, "D'you have any food around here? I'm starving..."

"It is lunchtime, isn't it?" Usagi said suddenly, turning to the black-haired priestess. "Rei-chan," she pleaded, and the very time Goku whined, "Sanzo!"

Rei looked up sharply, just in time to see Sanzo growl, "You're irritating!" His hand twitched at his side, as though he wanted to pull out the large fan again-- which seemed to have disappeared once he was done whacking the boy over the head with it earlier.

"Sanzo?" she repeated.

Usagi blinked. "Sanzo? Is he important?"

The four men looked mildly startled, as though taken aback by the question. Rei sighed, while Ami gave a half strained, half amused smile.

"Idiot," Rei sighed in annoyance, causing her best friend to pout a little. "The name Sanzo was very famous in ancient China. There's one especially popular legend of a monk named Genjo Sanzo and his journey west with three other companions..." Her voice trailed off, and she stared long and hard at the men before her.

Three companions, one half water sprite, one human-turned-demon, and one not exactly a demon but with demonic powers, borne from the earth... impossible... she thought, her violet eyes staring straight at the blonde man entitled Sanzo. It's an ancient legend, and unless they have a way to jump across time...

But he was dressed exactly like a high-ranking monk. His robes were cream-coloured, nearly white, and a crimson chakra was marked on the middle of his forehead... and what seemed to be a holy scripture was draped around his shoulder, very much like a vest.

A holy scripture that only a Sanzo would wear so openly...

"Are you really Genjo Sanzo?" she asked.

"Oh, God, not another one," Sanzo muttered, bringing a hand to his face as he twitched visibly.

"No," Rei decided aloud, frowning. "You can't be. A monk wouldn't take any god's name in vain..." She suddenly darted forward, grasping the sleeve of his robe.

Sanzo shook her off. "What the hell?!"

"Are you wearing leather under that?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes," Sanzo snapped.

"Aren't you a monk?!"

Sanzo scowled. "Yes."

"What kind of monk are you?"

Gojyo chuckled to her right. "Well," he drawled, "the kind that eats meat, drinks, smokes, abuses people, swears, kills, carries a gun..."

"My, you certainly are a bad monk, aren't you, Sanzo-sama?" Hakkai said teasingly.

"I'll kill you all," was Sanzo's deadpan reply.

"You're pretty cute for your age," Gojyo was saying to Makoto, flattering her mercilessly. "How old are you? Eighteen?"

She blushed brightly, but was grinning and managed to talk easily. "Fifteen, actually..."

"Really?"

"Time gates?" Ami was saying, looking thoughtful. "Sounds like Pluto..."

"That was one name she gave us," Hakkai replied, still smiling. Minako simply hung near him, her gaze dreamy.

Usagi sighed, placing one hand on her stomach. "I can't believe it's past lunch..."

"I'm hungry," Goku grumbled, yelping as Sanzo's fan made a cameo appearance to whack him on the head.

"Don't do that," Usagi cried, suddenly grasping Goku's wrist. "Come on, I know where we can get some food!"

"Okay," he agreed, seeming happy to follow however would feed him.

Sanzo scowled. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into," he said flatly. "You'll lose all your stock feeding him."

"Like anyone could eat more than Usagi," Rei scoffed as their two companions left them behind, likely to raid the priestess' fridge.

"Care to bet on that?" Sanzo said, smirking.

"I won't lose!"

"I never lose..."