:: Misinterpretations ::

Gensomaden Saiyuki/Sailormoon

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailormoon, which rightfully belongs to Naoko Takeuchi. Nor do I own Gensomaden Saiyuki, which rightfully belongs to Minekura Kazuya.

Rating: PG

Pairings: Minako+Hakkai, Minako+Kougaiji, Makoto+Gojyo, hinted Sanzo/Goku

Warnings: language, bad monks, strange humor, purposeful OOCness, not to be taken entirely seriously

Notes: Sorry it took so long to update. ^^; have been busy in the Saiyuki section. It needs to be saved just as much as this one does; really.

But I have another part. Enjoy.

Currently, Aino Minako was facing the biggest dilemma of her life. The situation could go two ways, and though she thought she had been certain of what she wanted before, she had just now been struck with the worst realization that she was stuck.

So who to choose... Hakkai or Kougaiji?

Ohh, this is bad, she thought miserably. I'm sure both of them would love to go out with me, but what good will it do if I can't choose?

She didn't seem to notice that Kougaiji was currently fighting with Goku -- only the gods knew why they would choose to do that even in the situation they were in -- and Hakkai was attempting to pry her off his leg.

Her arms tightened around him without conscious thought. They're both incredibly cute...

"Miss, I kindly request that you let go of me."

The strained voice went right over her head. Hakkai has the very sweet look to him...

There was a metallic click, and a hurried, "Now, Sanzo, I'm sure that won't be necessary..."

Minako took no notice of the gun Sanzo had pulled out. But Kougaiji has that sexy 'bad boy' look...

"Try telling her you're gay. Maybe that'll work."

"Yare, yare..."

For a split second her eyes refocused, but another thought distracted her and made her forget whatever it was that had just stolen her attention. She dimly took note of the loud gunshot that pierced the air, and that the loud shouts, curses, and taunts that had come with Kougaiji and Goku's fighting ceased almost instantly. Ohh, this is just way too hard...

While she continued to ponder, Hakkai finally noted -- with immense relief -- that she was slowly loosening her hold on him. Once he felt blood circulating through his foot again, he gently stepped aside. She continued to stare blankly at the nearest wall. His smile was stressed.

"Well, this certainly complicates things," he said quietly to Gojyo.

The red-haired half demon was smoking; he had been watching Super-Smart Sailor Mercury bouncing around like an out of proportion female game character, saying random nonsense and speaking in gradually less comprehensible French. Now his attention was fully on Hakkai; clearly she hadn't been too much of a great distraction. "What?"

Hakkai tapped his chin. "If we try to leave, they may become so desperate to follow that we'll... somehow end up taking them back with us."

Gojyo grimaced. That wasn't a promising thought. "So we'll have to do something about them before we leave. Do you think this was the evil that Pluto chick was talking about?"

Hakkai chuckled. It sounded more forced than usual, which sent cold chills down Gojyo's spine. "Somehow, I don't think so."

On the floor, Minako was becoming quickly frustrated. It would be even worse if, for some reason, neither of them wanted to date me... That was a frightening concept. As though she had the worst luck with guys from her own world!

At the Time Gates, Pluto quickly jotted down, give them all a love interest and a happy ending on the magical notepad she used to write down her ideas. She underlined the word "all" three times in heavy black ink. This was the reason she had brought Kougaiji, after all. Sure he was the Sanzo-ikkou's enemy, but he was hot and made it so that all five girls could have a boyfriend.

And the Time she was supposed to be Guarding? If there were any flaws, she was too busy paying attention to meager love lives to notice.

"Sa~nzo, I'm gonna starve to death..."

The corrupted priest made no move to show he had heard Goku's complaint. When he did, all he said was, "It's because you got into another damned fight, bakazaru," all the while keeping his eyes on the newspaper he never seemed to tire reading.

"I was bored," the brunette whined. He glanced at Kougaiji's prone form, frowning. "Did you have to beat him with the paper fan, too? You're not supposed to do that to him..." Sanzo had snapped, deciding to hit the demon prince over the head until he was either unconscious or dead. If Kougaiji was lucky, it was the former.

"Ch'. Says who?" Sanzo snapped, still scanning an article near the center of the paper.

Goku shrugged, giving up conversation for the moment. His golden eyes briefly followed Super-Smart Sailor Mercury and Mega-Voltage Sailor Jupiter's so-called "fight." He grew bored quickly-- and quite understandably. "I'm so hungry..."

"God," Sanzo muttered in disgust. "Sometimes I wonder why you didn't eat yourself up in that damned cave."

Silence.

When Goku spoke again, his voice was oddly serious. "Do you regret saving me, Sanzo?" He did that sometimes; he got unnaturally solemn whenever Mount Gogyo was mentioned.

Sanzo lowered the paper, staring straight into his charge's eyes. "I did save you, didn't I? I'm your master now. I'm in charge of and responsible for your life. You belong to me."

Goku's immediate reaction was to boggle at the monk, whose expression remained eerily set. Goku felt his eyebrow twitching occasionally as he wondered if Sanzo had finally lost it.

"... Sanzo, did you catch that disease from the crazy girls?" The boy was perfectly serious and perfectly worried. If Sanzo wasn't immune to the weird illness that the other girls had, then there was no hope for the rest of them.

Once again, silence. The tension was very thick. For some unexplainable reason, Goku felt his face redden.

Suddenly, Sanzo scowled and whipped his paper fan from nowhere yet again, beating the monkey child over the head. "Bakazaru! It's because you're a monkey! A damned, stupid pet monkey!"

"Ow! Ow! Okay, I get it! OW!"

Minako suddenly jumped to her feet. "Agh!" she cried, pulling her hair in sheer frustration. "That's it, I can't take it anymore!"

When she realized no one had heard her outburst, she puffed her cheeks, stormed over to where Hakkai and Gojyo were currently trying to plot their safe escape, and proceeded to scream, "I said, I can't take it anymore!"

Both young men paused to glance at her. "Oh. So you've become sane?" Gojyo asked.

"Gojyo-san, please be more subtle when you call someone crazy," Hakkai said calmly. He received an arched eyebrow in response.

Minako ignored the barb. "Since I can't choose between Hakkai and Kougaiji--"

"That reminds me, where is Prince Charming?" Gojyo said suddenly, obviously eager to talk about anything but a teenage girl's trite problems.

Once again, he was ignored. Minako appeared not to have heard him. "--I've decided that I'm going to change my whole lifestyle." Her statement was met with blank stares. Annoyed, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and placed her hands over her heart. "I've decided to take after my idol. I'm going to live a life of purity, chastity, and pure holiness."

Gojyo exchanged a half amused, half worried look with Hakkai. "She can't possibly mean..."

"Well, everyone else usually does," Hakkai said, the beginnings of a sweatdrop forming on the back of his head.

Minako turned to where Sanzo and Goku were sitting. Oblivious to the obvious No Touchy vibes Sanzo was radiating -- and really, only Rei was perceptible to such vibes when she was in character -- and unaware that only Goku should have been immune to those vibes, she ran forth, fell to her knees, and prostrated herself at the monk's feet. "Sanzo-sama! I wish to become a nun! I will follow your teachings loyally!"

"You can't be a nun in Buddhist religion. Get lost," Sanzo said flatly, hardly giving her a glance.

Before Minako could say anything in response -- and amidst Goku's snickers -- there was a sudden cry of, "Mercury's Ice Sheet Thingy!" A cold wind, a horrible chill... and then the entire floor of the temple had been iced. Mega-Voltage Sailor Jupiter, who had jumped to avoid the blast, came down, landed, slipped, and fell backwards.

"Agh! Ami, you stupid bitch!" she screamed.

"Ohohohoho~!"

Mega-Voltage Sailor Jupiter snarled and scrambled to get to her feet. Because she was out-of-character, she lost all grace and skill of ice skating and proceeded to slip and fall down again. She cried out, glanced down, and stopped suddenly, staring at her hand in sheer horror. "I... I..."

Goku, who was desperately trying to get to his feet, fell to his knees and somehow started sliding across the floor. "What happened?" he asked as he skidded by Mega-Voltage Sailor Jupiter. He asked more out of curiosity than concern, though Jupiter had no troubles mistaking it for the latter.

She began to shriek incomprehensibly, finally managing to right herself and stand on wobbly knees. "I broke a nail!" she cried. "Ami! Do you realize how many hours I poured into painting my nails?!" All she got in response was a deranged cackle and the sound of a whip cracking.

Gojyo, who had luckily found a stand to grab a hold of to keep from slipping, gave the girl an odd look. But... she wasn't wearing nail polish when I talked to her earlier...

Still fuming, Mega-Voltage Sailor Jupiter said, "I am so going to make you pay for a new manicure, Ami!"

"Ohh, such naughty threats!" Super-Smart Sailor Mercury cackled. "You will most definitely be punished!"

Growling, Mega-Voltage Sailor Jupiter somehow managed to slide her way closer to the disturbingly-proportioned soldier of Mercury. "This is for my nail!" she cried, swinging viciously at the blue-haired girl. "And this is for touching my man!"

Super-Smart Sailor Mercury shrieked as her whip was knocked out of her hand. "Bad girl!" she cried. "I'll punish you!"

"Buy me a manicure!"

"Don't make me call in my pimp!"

Goku gave up both on trying to understand what the weird girls were shouting about and on standing and allowed the ice to carry him across the temple grounds. He briefly hoped that Sanzo would be all right on his own. Those girls were weird, and if Sanzo caught their sickness he'd definitely blame Goku for it. Somehow. And even if he didn't, he'd take his anger out on him with the paper fan.

When he came to a stop, Goku found himself blinking down at the unconscious faces of the two girls that had been fighting over Sanzo earlier. He was directly over the one with dark hair. I wonder how they'd react if they knew Sanzo can barely stand women? he mused.

"Aaah..." The sudden groan made him start. Goku realized the dark-haired girl was stirring. "Headache..."

Goku stared at her, his face twisted in his usual confused expression; one eye slightly narrowed and the other wider than usual. Maybe she's having side effects of the disease?

Violet eyes opened and stared up at him. Goku stared back, blinking every so often, vaguely disturbed that she didn't blink at all. He didn't realize that the girl was growing misty-eyed, because all he could think was that her eyes were twice as big as his own, that scared him, and that he liked the shade of Sanzo's eyes a lot better. At least he didn't look possessed.

"My love," the dark-haired girl whispered.

Goku started to edge away nervously. "What?"

Without warning, she flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around him. "I knew it! I was destined for you, not Sanzo! I've finally found you!"

Goku froze, stricken by her words. After a good few seconds passed, he gave a terrified shout and struggled to push the girl off. "Ack! No, don't touch me! I'll get sick! Sanzo!"