By Tegan
Echoes
Chapter 9: Equilibrium
Hermione lay staring at the dimly lit ceiling as it flickered gently from the fire in the corner. She had been dreading getting out of bed and had been making excuses to stay for some time. Her sleep had been deep, but not very restful. The past few days had done so much to drain her spirits, that Hermione doubted if any amount of sleep would help.
She breathed in deeply, and Crookshanks stirred slightly as he lay curled up on her chest purring. She reached up to scruff his neck causing him to slowly knit his claws into the thick blankets that covered her. Somehow, his weight on her chest gave her comfort, and she sighed knowing she should get up.
She gently lifted the furball from her, resting him on the soft mattress, before she moved her legs around to sit on the edge of the bed. Crookshanks looked very displeased as his hair ruffled up in annoyance, but he soon found a warm spot in the blankets and returned to his slumber.
Though Hermione was now sitting, she was far from leaving the bed. She stared blankly at the fire, her mind dazed. Slowly, her thoughts began to wander, until she could feel warm breath and soft caresses along her skin. She sat lost in her memories, until she was pulled back with a sudden start as Crookshanks stretched out behind her. She glanced at the clock on her nightstand and realized she had just spent the last ten minutes staring off into space. All the confusion and uncertainty of the past few days had left her somewhat disorientated, and she did not like the feeling. Her new surroundings did little to help her regain her balance. The small clock read quarter to eleven, though Hermione was unsure if it was morning or night. It felt like morning to her, but she was fairly certain that it was far from daylight outside.
She shook her head and decided that some activity would help her find her grounding. Slowly, she reached below her bed pulling out her fluffy slippers and sliding them onto her feet. Standing up, she trudged to the bathroom and ran the bath water.
Her bath was over quickly, considering the amount of attention she gave to the mechanics of washing. She scrubbed each limb thoroughly, meticulously cleaning under each nail. She made a point to wash and rinse her hair three times, scrubbing behind her ears and across her neck each time. Gradually though, the bath water began to relax her and she slowed her pace, leaning back into the water.
As the bar of soap slid over her breast and stomach and down between her thighs, her breaths deepened, and she closed her eyes, spreading her knees. Her mind drifted to her memories of Snape's thin body on top of her, moving inside of her.
She gasped and shot up, splashing water onto the walls and floor. She wiped her wet hair from her face, and looked around for something to distract her thoughts. It was best for her not to fantasize when very soon, she would be facing reality.
Seeking something time consuming that would keep her mind from wandering, she decided to end her bath and manually brush the tangles from her hair. It was an unpleasant task due to the long, knotted state of her hair. It was also one which could have been easily avoided with a Detanglement Spell. Yet, picking at the many knots distracted her and prolonged her seclusion. When she could finally pull a brush through her hair, a good deal of time had elapsed, though she was still not ready to leave her room.
She sat back onto her bed scanning the room, when the large blue book under her nightstand caught her attention.
In spite of the thoughts Snape's writing was sure to bring up, her curiosity was piqued, and she lifted the heavy book onto the bed and began pouring over its pages.
For a moment, Hermione was lost, pondering how much his precise and detailed script reflected the way his hands moved while brewing potions or making love. She shook her head and concentrated on the words, rather than the writing.
His theories were fascinating. From what she could determine from her initial analysis, Snape had been studying certain variations of the Eden Elixir. This made sense to Hermione, as the elixir was one of a variety of strong protectant potions. Unfortunately, his early experiments had been met with little success.
As she turned the pages, his notes began to involve more complicated formulas, and Hermione had difficulty following. The ingredients she knew, however, his later experiments involved combinations that should have produced potions that, when ingested, were fatal. She would need a good deal of time to examine his work, if she was to determine the logic behind it. She became a bit anxious to see his current progress and skipped to the end.
He really was rather close to a solution, though his potion would most likely do little more than stave off death for a few moments.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door and Harry's voice calling her name.
She closed the book, sliding it under the bed and made her way to the door.
She held back a chuckle as she opened the door and teased, "How was dinner?"
Harry rolled his eyes and groaned, "Long and disgusting."
"Hmm, I can imagine," she cringed at her memory of the gray mush. "We have to figure out some way to convince Dobby that his assistance in the kitchen is unnecessary."
Harry grinned mischievously, "I've thought of that." He paused clearing his throat. "I left a little mess. Maybe if we just keep him busy..."
Hermione raised her eyebrows wondering what he meant by "little". Harry turned before she could question him, and she made to follow him down the stairs. After they had descended a few steps, Hermione jolted as a loud crash sounded from Harry's room. He turned and smiled lightly up at her.
Whatever it was that Harry had done seemed effective, because Dobby was nowhere in sight when they reached the kitchen.
Hermione sliced several pieces from a loaf of bread and carried them along with a plate of butter and an apple to the dining room. Though not much of a breakfast, her meal took very little time to prepare; an important factor when considering that Dobby could pop in at any moment.
The pair sat eating and enjoying easy conversation, until Hermione's body tensed at the sound of a door closing from somewhere toward the back of the house.
She had known that eventually she would have to face Snape. She had even planned her cool responses and unaffected remarks. But now all that planning and thought escaped her, and she stared silently at her plate, picking at the crust of her bread.
His steps became louder and clearer, until she knew that he was looming over her. Though she did not look, she could sense his eyes glaring down at her.
She heard Harry suggest, "Um, Dobby's not himself today. I'd go make your own breakfast before he returns."
Hermione did not see Snape's reaction, but she heard his robes swish as he turned and strode to the kitchen.
Soon, she heard clanking and Snape's voice bellow down the hallway, "Incompetent, ignorant, stupid creature!" His voice was much closer when he next growled, "Stay out of my way," and a small squeak sounded as little feet padded quickly away.
This time, Hermione could not help but look up, and she saw angry eyes flash before her.
Snape's voice was dangerously low, "When you have finished here, meet me in the laboratory," and with that, he strode off.
Hermione stared frozen at the spot where he had stood. She knew that his words were directed at her. She also knew that saying them in front of Harry included him, whether Snape had realized it through his anger or not.
"Snape's his usual cheerful self, I see," Harry leaned over and softly mocked.
Hermione forced a smile at this, though in reality her mind was becoming so filled with anxiety that she did not hear his next question.
"What?" She jerked, coming back to reality.
Harry stared at her strangely, but repeated, "Where do you suppose his laboratory is?"
She motioned behind her and said weakly, "Toward the back, I would guess. That's the direction he stormed off."
She breathed in deeply, gathering her strength and composure and stood up.
Reluctantly, she moved towards Snape's rooms, Harry next to her. As she knocked, her mind raced in a useless attempt to plan her actions and responses. When Snape failed to answer the door, Harry looked at her, "Maybe we should try another room?"
She knew this was the entrance and had no desire to wander aimlessly pretending that she did not.
Watching the door, she responded coolly, "What other room?"
Harry crossed his arms and glared at her, while Hermione pretended not to notice.
Her hand grasped the door knob to open it, but she could feel a tingle signaling that there were strong wards around the entrance. Frustrated, but not stupid, she tried knocking again, but this time her fist pounded loudly.
Suddenly, the door flew open, revealing empty rooms.
As she and Harry crossed the threshold, the door slammed loudly behind them.
She had been right in assuming that his laboratory was attached to the bedroom. A medieval archway opened up in the back bedroom, and Hermione walked silently toward it.
As she passed Snape's bed, now neatly made, shivers prickled down her spine with thoughts of their encounter. The sensation lasted for only a moment, but it was enough to make her realize the fragile state of her composure.
She walked through the archway and down the stone steps to the underground laboratory. Her shoes echoed against the gray walls with each step until she came to the bottom. Snape looked up from his work and their eyes met.
It was only apparent for an instant, but Hermione could sense something more behind his eyes than anger or indifference. There was a strange mixture of emotions that quickly hardened as his eyes focused on Harry.
Their exchange made her uncomfortable, so that she shifted her attention to her surroundings. The laboratory was comprised of three long work stations. One ran along the entrance wall perpendicular to the others, which were widely spaced so that several people could work without interference.
The far wall was lined with shelves that contained preserved specimen of all sorts. Some Hermione recognized as fruits or vegetables, but others stared out at her with unblinking eyes, adding to the chill of the room.
"How far have you gotten reviewing the research notes?" Snape asked looking down at his cauldron.
Harry looked a bit confused when Hermione answered impassively, "Not far. I've skimmed through them. I know your basic strategy, but no more. I will study them thoroughly the next chance I get."
"Since you are lacking the necessary background information, I want you to start on the Portestas Potion." He moved to a stack of parchments near the end of his work station and set one of the scrolls aside.
"Here are the directions. Potter can assist you." He paused to add a yellow gloppy substance to his cauldron, and not looking up added, "The potion will take a full month to brew, so you should start immediately."
Hermione wanted to ask him about his plan, but her curiosity was superseded by her desire to avoid him. She looked at Harry who seemed as if he wanted to ask her.
She walked to the station where he had placed the parchment and, picking it up, glanced over the directions, more for Harry's sake than her own. She hardly needed to look at them. She was well versed in the potion's preparation from their work on the spiral months ago in the alternate universe.
"Use that table," he pointed toward the lab station in front and Hermione's eyes lingered on his long graceful finger. Regaining her concentration, she situated herself so that she was facing Harry, her back conveniently turned toward Snape.
Though she could no longer see him, she was keenly aware of his every move.
"We're not going to be here an entire month I hope," Harry complained a little too loudly.
Snape warned coldly, "I would be careful what I wish for, Mr. Potter. The only reason we would not be, is if we are attacked."
Harry shifted uncomfortably at his words, but remained silent.
Hermione could hear Snape working behind her, and it took more than a little effort to concentrate on the formula in front of her.
"What are we making?" Harry whispered.
"It's a very powerful enhancement potion. It increases an object's magical output."
"What sort of an object?" He inquired.
Hermione replied, "Like a wand or a Time-Turner." She hoped her response was detailed enough to satisfy Harry's mind, yet vague enough so that she did not create new questions.
He leaned forward and muttered softly, "Why are we making it?"
Hermione just shrugged as if she didn't know. Technically that was true. She knew the potion would be used on the spiral to create a very strong portkey. One that could cause a rip in the dimensional fabric of the universe. For what reason though, Hermione could not fathom.
Hermione handed Harry the list of ingredients they needed to prepare and began pouring the base solution into a cauldron, before helping Harry slice several large pieces of cactus root into small cubes.
As she worked, Hermione could hear Snape crush something into a fine powder and pour it onto a scale. Sounds of his fingers gently sliding the weights along the instrument brought up images of his fingers gliding over her cheek.
Suddenly, she heard him stop and walk towards her.
"Take these. Potter can finish cutting up the cactus root," and with that he strode up the stairs, his robes flapping behind him, his boots clicking on the stairs.
Hermione picked up the small metal cage that he had set down in front of her, avoiding Harry's questioning looks and followed.
"Where are we going?" She demanded forcefully.
"We need to set up the traps outside," he replied not looking at her.
"I need to put on my boots and things before we go," she simply stated.
Snape turned and nodded stiffly, and Hermione left. Things were not going as she had planned. Her attempts at confidence were met with mixed results, and she felt weak and unsure. Throughout the day, her thoughts had swept uncontrollably through her mind. Some were pleasant, but all were disturbing, as they interfered with her plan to remain detached.
After she had changed, she left her room to find Snape waiting at the foot of the stairs. He watched her carefully as she took each step, closing the space between them. His face stared blankly, hiding whatever emotions he felt for her.
They walked quickly, traps in hand, to the exit and stepped through to a cold world that was once again very dark. Hermione paused for a moment to allow her eyes to adjust. Huge blankets of red, green and blue floated across the sky lighting the area slightly so that the trees were silhouetted against the mountains. The Northern lights were beautiful and would have been very romantic, if not for the chill in the air and the cold civility that separated them.
Wolves howled in the distance, and Hermione's grip on her wand tightened.
Snape called, "Lumos," and his wand lit a small sphere around them.
They trudged through the snow, in silence, though the sounds of their breaths and movements combined with the wind and wolves to fill her ears.
When they were far enough from the cabin, so that it was no longer a shadow in the dark, Snape turned his back to her and dropped the first trap.
"Why did you leave?" He asked harshly.
Hermione could not believe he had the gall to ask her that, and anger began to rise with in her. "Why would I have stayed?" She scoffed. "You made it abundantly clear last time that you weren't interested in having me around, but for a bit of fun." Her breathing became sharp and erratic. The short spurts, combined with the frigid air, made her head spin.
Snape's demeanor suddenly softened as he stared at her first in shock and then with understanding.
"Hermione stop." He dropped the second trap and moved near her. "Stop," this time it was a whisper in her ear as he wrapped his arms around her tightly.
Her arms quivered as they came around his waist slowly and unsurely.
They stayed there holding each other, her breathing gradually returning to normal. His body kept the cold from creeping through her clothes, though she doubted if any outside force could have distracted her from his arms.
They parted slightly, and he sighed, allowing a large puff of steam to escape. His hands moved down to hers.
He looked down at their hands and began slowly, "I have no intention of ending this."
She glanced up at his face. He was certainly uncomfortable, but his face also showed compassion and affection. She didn't want to force him to declare his feelings for her in any great detail, but she did want clarification. She asked weakly, "You have no intention of ending this so long as we are here, or ever?"
"Both," he simply replied as he gazed into her eyes.
Hermione swallowed hard as the emotion in his voice, drifted to her heart. She knew how difficult it was for Snape to show affection, so that when he did, it was heart-felt and honest.
He paused leaning his head against her neck and bring his arms back around her, "There are complications though. So many that you may very well decide it isn't worth continuing."
As they stood in each other's arms, Hermione could not imagine any obstacle that would make her wish to be away from him.
Eventually he pulled back and said hoarsely, "It's getting far too cold to continue talking here. If I connect our fireplaces, may I visit you later?"
Hermione nodded staring into his dark eyes. Slowly, the pair turned back to the cabin, holding hands and walking very much together.
*Thank you Dani, Kylee, Veresna Usep, Nicolette, Hopeful Writer, Squirrel and BethAnn for reviewing.
Tracy and besnaped- I haven't mentioned any birth control or precautions, because I couldn't find a tasteful and creative way to present it. Let's just pretend that as students enter Hogwarts they are protected from pregnancy until they graduate. (This is fantasy land after all) A pregnancy might be an interesting area to explore, but I have never been pregnant and wouldn't know how to go about writing it convincingly. I hope no one is too disappointed.
deSevera- I really don't want Snape to be a bastard either, though I've read some fantastic stories where he was just that!
Aurinia- I'm so glad you like my lame attempts at humor! Most of my students(I teach middle school science) find my humor pretty dumb once they reach their teens. It's nice to see that an adult finds enjoyment in it.
I've read quite a few wonderful stories from many of you. It feels really nice to read reviews from talented authors!
Thank you everyone for Reading and Reviewing!