I still don't own any characters not owned by me. Which is I think all of
them at this point. Darn school for making it so very hard to find time to
update.
Chapter 2: Hiya!
Gir: Hiya!
Red: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!
Gir: Lemme see.I'm walking, I'm ising, I'm carrying out Master's evil cannibalistic plans.oh yeah! I'm eating this cheese string!
Red: How are we supposed to find our way back now?! We'll starve to death!!
Gir: Master told me that if I find any tall green things in the woods that start crying when I eat their cheese string, to let them come back to his evil lair. He's got lost of food you can eat!
Purple: Anything's better than listening to Red regressing to three year old mode. Red: *sucking thumb and crying*
So they followed Gir in the opposite direction over Mt. Everest, down into Death Valley and across the Nile River while the song "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" (anyone remember that song? No? Never mind then. I feel old now.) mysteriously plays in the background until they reached a cottage made entirely of.. Red: Candy! Wheeeeee!!!!! It's candy!! Can I have the candy?
Gir: Yup! But master wants to meet you two first!
Gir opened the graham cracker door and led them to a table held up by peppermint sticks and a surface of colored sugar dots. At the other end sat a much smaller version of them with glowing red eyes and a malicious grin.
Purple: Who are you?
Much smaller version of them with glowing red eyes: I am ZIIIMMM!!!
Is there anyone who didn't see this coming? If so, follow my instructions very carefully. Stand up, if you are currently sitting down, find some way to get up onto the roof of the building closest to you, or the one you are currently in, stand on the edge, yell "I AM A MORON WHO CANNOT READ PLOTS!!!" and then jump to your timely but gruesome death. (JUST KIDDING. DO NOT ATTEMPT!!!)
Red laughs at Zim, still in three year old mode.
Zim: What's so funny?
Red: You.
Zim: You dare laugh at the almighty ZIM?!?
Purple: Yeah. You're so short! And why are you talking about yourself in the third person? That's sooo last millennia's literature.
Gir: Cuz he's CRAAAAAZZZYYY!!! I can be crazy too! Watch this!
Gir jumps up on the table and does a cute little dance, but crackers are not the best surface to do that on. So he falls through the table and lands on the floor.
Gir: Wheeeeee!!! I'm on the floor!!
Zim: Don't mind my robot. He's a bit insane at the moment.
Zim throws a rubber piggy into another room. Gir, in his one correct act of imitating Earth dogs, runs after it, squealing with delight. Okay, maybe normal dogs don't squeal very often. But you get the picture.
Purple: So do you know the way back to our house?
Zim: There are probably hundreds of houses on this filthy planet alone! How am I supposed to know which one is yours?
Red: It's that one that looks like a house. You know. It's got three and a half walls, windows, extraterrestrial slaves, rabid wolf packs roaming around it. Like any normal Earth house.
Zim: You mean that detestable one roomed shack out in the middle of nowhere where you can always hear something screaming either in fury or like it's being horribly tortured by having its vital organs ripped out through its mouth, one by one and squashed by giant pigs while there were still enough nerves alive to feel the raging piggy horror of pain that was being unloaded upon them?
Purple: Yeah. That's the one.
Zim: Yes, I know the way there.
Red: Can you tell us? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Red jumps up and down in excitement at the thought of a joyful reunion with his nacho cheese.
Zim: No. Your putrid stepmom paid me to keep you here and eat you.
Red: But your house is made of candy! Why don't you just eat that? Besides, we don't taste very good.
Purple: What do you mean "we"? You taste better than me.
Red: No I don't!
Dim the lights and turn on some spooky music. Like pop played backwards so you can hear all of the lovely subliminal messages implanted there by dark forces. Zim gets a flashlight, then stands up on his chair and turns it on under his face in a way not unlike someone ready to tell a ghost story in a horror movie, then have their guts slashed out from behind.
Zim: I'm sure you both taste better than you say you do. But it's not that I'm interested in. I don't eat anything in this house because I desire something more sustaining. Something of my own planet.
Purple: W-w-what do you want?
Zim: I desire...your blood!
Gir electrocuted himself for fun in the other room, causing the lights to flicker and the sound of an explosion to vibrate the candy house, almost knocking it down. Sugar and water are not the best replacements for nails. And in case you're wondering about the shoddy special effects, the S. E. budget was slashed in the middle of the story to pay for the lawyers hired because of people who took the jump off the roof thing literally. Somehow they've found a way to sue from beyond the grave. Try it sometime.
Anyway, fake thunder and lightning and stuff. After being in the room for who knows how long, Red and Purple finally noticed how much Zim resembled a vampire. Purple: My, what red eyes you have!
Zim: The better to see you cower in fear with.
Red: My, what spooky looking antenna you have!
Zim: The better to hear you or smell you or some combination of the two. Whatever antenna are supposed to do.
Purple: My, what long, sharp and malicious looking fangs you have!
Zim: The better to suck you dry and eat you with! HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!!!!!
Red and Purple: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gir: WWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (just for balance ;)
1 hour later.
Zim: And now..
Purple: Eep!!
Zim: Do you know what I'm going to do?
Purple: Well, you've been saying it for the last five or so paragraphs so I have a pretty good clue.
Zim: That's right. I'm going to SUCK YOUR BLOOD AND THEN EAT YOU!!
Purple: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!
Red: MOMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of..
Some random story that I forgot the title of! I just know it's a parody of Hansel and Gretel with a little Little Red Riding Hood thrown into the mix. Review please!
Chapter 2: Hiya!
Gir: Hiya!
Red: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!
Gir: Lemme see.I'm walking, I'm ising, I'm carrying out Master's evil cannibalistic plans.oh yeah! I'm eating this cheese string!
Red: How are we supposed to find our way back now?! We'll starve to death!!
Gir: Master told me that if I find any tall green things in the woods that start crying when I eat their cheese string, to let them come back to his evil lair. He's got lost of food you can eat!
Purple: Anything's better than listening to Red regressing to three year old mode. Red: *sucking thumb and crying*
So they followed Gir in the opposite direction over Mt. Everest, down into Death Valley and across the Nile River while the song "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" (anyone remember that song? No? Never mind then. I feel old now.) mysteriously plays in the background until they reached a cottage made entirely of.. Red: Candy! Wheeeeee!!!!! It's candy!! Can I have the candy?
Gir: Yup! But master wants to meet you two first!
Gir opened the graham cracker door and led them to a table held up by peppermint sticks and a surface of colored sugar dots. At the other end sat a much smaller version of them with glowing red eyes and a malicious grin.
Purple: Who are you?
Much smaller version of them with glowing red eyes: I am ZIIIMMM!!!
Is there anyone who didn't see this coming? If so, follow my instructions very carefully. Stand up, if you are currently sitting down, find some way to get up onto the roof of the building closest to you, or the one you are currently in, stand on the edge, yell "I AM A MORON WHO CANNOT READ PLOTS!!!" and then jump to your timely but gruesome death. (JUST KIDDING. DO NOT ATTEMPT!!!)
Red laughs at Zim, still in three year old mode.
Zim: What's so funny?
Red: You.
Zim: You dare laugh at the almighty ZIM?!?
Purple: Yeah. You're so short! And why are you talking about yourself in the third person? That's sooo last millennia's literature.
Gir: Cuz he's CRAAAAAZZZYYY!!! I can be crazy too! Watch this!
Gir jumps up on the table and does a cute little dance, but crackers are not the best surface to do that on. So he falls through the table and lands on the floor.
Gir: Wheeeeee!!! I'm on the floor!!
Zim: Don't mind my robot. He's a bit insane at the moment.
Zim throws a rubber piggy into another room. Gir, in his one correct act of imitating Earth dogs, runs after it, squealing with delight. Okay, maybe normal dogs don't squeal very often. But you get the picture.
Purple: So do you know the way back to our house?
Zim: There are probably hundreds of houses on this filthy planet alone! How am I supposed to know which one is yours?
Red: It's that one that looks like a house. You know. It's got three and a half walls, windows, extraterrestrial slaves, rabid wolf packs roaming around it. Like any normal Earth house.
Zim: You mean that detestable one roomed shack out in the middle of nowhere where you can always hear something screaming either in fury or like it's being horribly tortured by having its vital organs ripped out through its mouth, one by one and squashed by giant pigs while there were still enough nerves alive to feel the raging piggy horror of pain that was being unloaded upon them?
Purple: Yeah. That's the one.
Zim: Yes, I know the way there.
Red: Can you tell us? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Red jumps up and down in excitement at the thought of a joyful reunion with his nacho cheese.
Zim: No. Your putrid stepmom paid me to keep you here and eat you.
Red: But your house is made of candy! Why don't you just eat that? Besides, we don't taste very good.
Purple: What do you mean "we"? You taste better than me.
Red: No I don't!
Dim the lights and turn on some spooky music. Like pop played backwards so you can hear all of the lovely subliminal messages implanted there by dark forces. Zim gets a flashlight, then stands up on his chair and turns it on under his face in a way not unlike someone ready to tell a ghost story in a horror movie, then have their guts slashed out from behind.
Zim: I'm sure you both taste better than you say you do. But it's not that I'm interested in. I don't eat anything in this house because I desire something more sustaining. Something of my own planet.
Purple: W-w-what do you want?
Zim: I desire...your blood!
Gir electrocuted himself for fun in the other room, causing the lights to flicker and the sound of an explosion to vibrate the candy house, almost knocking it down. Sugar and water are not the best replacements for nails. And in case you're wondering about the shoddy special effects, the S. E. budget was slashed in the middle of the story to pay for the lawyers hired because of people who took the jump off the roof thing literally. Somehow they've found a way to sue from beyond the grave. Try it sometime.
Anyway, fake thunder and lightning and stuff. After being in the room for who knows how long, Red and Purple finally noticed how much Zim resembled a vampire. Purple: My, what red eyes you have!
Zim: The better to see you cower in fear with.
Red: My, what spooky looking antenna you have!
Zim: The better to hear you or smell you or some combination of the two. Whatever antenna are supposed to do.
Purple: My, what long, sharp and malicious looking fangs you have!
Zim: The better to suck you dry and eat you with! HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!!!!!
Red and Purple: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gir: WWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (just for balance ;)
1 hour later.
Zim: And now..
Purple: Eep!!
Zim: Do you know what I'm going to do?
Purple: Well, you've been saying it for the last five or so paragraphs so I have a pretty good clue.
Zim: That's right. I'm going to SUCK YOUR BLOOD AND THEN EAT YOU!!
Purple: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!
Red: MOMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of..
Some random story that I forgot the title of! I just know it's a parody of Hansel and Gretel with a little Little Red Riding Hood thrown into the mix. Review please!