Ode to Oddity
by the Chronicler
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Ch. 2
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"Woe!" Rawhide fanned his nose with a hand. "What did you step in?"
Perfect Tommy glared at him. He tugged on his collar-less silk shirt, before slipping into the tuxedo jacket.
Knuckles laughed. "Kinda reminds me of a lemer." When confused glances was the only response she received, she explained further. "All pretty and fluffy, but when it comes to warfare they throw their scent at one another."
The occupants of the room listened, thought, looked Perfect Tommy up and down, then broke into laughter.
"Funny. Ha ha." P.T mumbled. "But why are you all laughing at me when we're dressing up to go to an award ceremony for a mutt?"
Knuckles sat up. "Oddity is not a mutt! He is a pure bred silver Austrian shepard! And he deserves an award. He could of died saving that kid!" She stepped up close, daring him to say anything counter to her claim. "I didn't see you jumping into no damn river."
A bark from the star of the night drew their attention. Oddity ran into the room just before Peggy. He wore a bow tie and a doggy tux.
"Ha!" Perfect Tommy pointed at the dog. "Now that is funny!"
Oddity sniffed at him, then, with a shake of his head, sneezed.
"Ha!" Pecos returned. "Now that is funny!"
----------
The govoner putting a medal around a dogs neck was not unheard of, not in the least. There were even special awards for animals who performed heroic deeds.
But this was the first for the Blue Blazes and the Hong Kong Cavaliers. But, hey, who were they to turn down a reason to celebrate? And they spent the night celebrating at the Jessie James Club.
Heads fuzzy, ears buzzing, eyes bleary from drink and the late hour, the Blue Blazes began to file out to the World Watch One.
Perfect Tommy leaned Knuckles against the door frame with the excuse that he was making room for the others to move out the door.
Knuckles tried to frown, but it came out more as a giggle. "You are such a dweeb." she reprimanded.
"Yea.... but I'm a perfect dweeb." Tommy glanced over at his shoulder at Rawhide as he herded the last of the BB out of the Jessie James Club and toward the bus. "Hey, what's a dweeb, anyway?"
Rawhide shook his head. "It means you are too drunk for me to take advantage of the situation and tell you exactly what dweeb means." he set a strong hand on the younger man's shoulder, pulled him away from Knuckles, and gave him a not-so-gentle shove toward the bus.
Knuckles waved at him as he stumbled away.
Rawhide grinned. "Great swing-dig, girl." he offered. He nodded toward Oddity who stumbled around the parking lot, wining and yipping as his guest left. "Oddity deserved a little congrads. He is a great dog."
Knuckles took a deep breath, wavered slightly, and smiled. "I like him." Then her nose scrunched up and she scratched her head. "Hey, can you take care of him next week? A bounty is coming back into the country and I've gotta go pick him up. But it's in the city and oddity is a country dog."
The cowboy nodded. "Yea. love to have him. He can ride fences with me." he answered though his attention seemed to drift in another direction.
A group of children, all dressed in black sweat shirts with hoods pulled up, were approaching Buckaroo as he was trying to get an accurate count of the Blue Blazes as the climbed aboard the bus, ran off again, or, just plain old pushed each other out the windows. Frustrated, he threw up his hands and hollered "That's it! This is the last time I'm taking you anywhere!" His mock anger quickly faded when he spotted the children.
"Hey, mister, you're Buckaroo Banzai and the Hong Kong Cavaliers, ain't ya?" one asked.
Never one to miss an opportunity at being the center of attention, Perfect Tommy quickly jumped out of the bus. "Yup. We certainly are!"
Rawhide frowned, the fuzziness of the drink quickly fading. "Anything seem funny about that to you?" he asked Knuckles.
Knuckles turned about to see. "What? You mean a bunch of black hooded ten year olds hangin' out in the parking lot of an over-21 club at three am askin' for autographs from the HKC which no one knew was here?" She shrugged. "Nothin' funny 'bout that."
"Yea... me too." Rawhide agreed. "Sober?"
"Am now." Her tone was suddenly crisp and clear. She was too well trained, too experience, to let a few drinks get in the way of action.
Despite the children's focus seemingly to be all on his boss, Perfect Tommy babbled on about the band and where they were next to play and what he was going to where.
Buckaroo smiled and let him go on. he much rather let Perfect Tommy be the center of everything... he was so perfect at it. Besides, keeping his balanced seemed to be a main concern of the moment as Oddity had squeezed his head between his knees, trying to get a better look at the newcomers.
Oddity sniffed at the children. His ears twitched. Then, to Buckaroo's surprise and dismay, lowered his head and snarled.
"Hey, there, boy." Buckaroo reached down and grabbed the dog by the collar just as he lunged at the closest of the children. "Hey! Oddity! Down!" he yelled.
But Oddity had managed to snatch a black sleeve. As Buckaroo hauled him back, he whipped his head about, ripping the sweat shirt and throwing the child to the ground.
"Bad, Oddity! Bad dog!" Buckaroo snapped.
Reno, coming back off the bus to see what the commotion was, quickly grabbed Oddity and pulled the fighting dog further back from the children.
Buckaroo turned back to the fallen child to be sure that he was alright. but stopped.
Something very different than what he expected laid on the ground before him. Sweat shirt torn off, revealing a short little thing with a bearded chin and hard, mean eyes... and a .44 magnum coming up at him.
Perfect Tommy moved quickly, kicking the gun aside, but, before he could do anything else, he was set upon by the other so-called children, one on each limb while three others went after Buckaroo.
"Death Dwarves!" Reno yelled, releasing the oddity who lunged forward once again. The cavalier reached back for his gun only to grab at empty air.
Of course, Knuckles didn't allow anyone who was drinking to carry guns in the Jessie James Club. All of their weapons were locked in the armory in the bus.... out of reach of those who needed them now!
Oddity's head turned just enough as he leaped passed to snatch one of Buckaroo's little attackers and drag him down to the ground. teeth securely latched of the death dwarf's arm, oddity began to shake his head violently, whipping the little evil doer back and forth.
Rawhide ran onto the scene, and, without taking the time to aim, delivered a solid kick at the death dwarf attached to Buckaroo's left leg. It was not only enough force to detach the attacker, but send him flying through the air in a roll to crash into the first who had just been climbing to his feet.
"Damn, they're ugly." Knuckles observed as she hesitated in coming to Perfect Tommy's aid.
"Well, they have sharp teeth! Get the little bugger off!" Perfect Tommy yelled, trying to shake his arms free.
His efforts managed to knock one free, but only to rile him enough draw a gun and take aim at the Cavalier.
But, before he could fire, Oddity, rolling on the ground with his current victim, slammed into the gunman, sending his shot wild.
Startled cries came from inside the World Watch One as the bullet bounced of the armor platting.
Sensing the gun as the greater threat, Oddity released his current hold, and spun about to face the new challenge. Crouching down, he barked wildly.
Knuckles wrapped an arm around another death dwarf's throat and pride him off of Perfect Tommy's leg.
The little man spun about and swung at her with an equally little dagger.
"Hey, you little creaton." She shoved him back, accidentally slamming him into Tommy again, knocking the Cavalier and his attackers down to the ground.
Reno rushed toward the only gun currently in view... which just happened to be aimed at Oddity.
Though his attention stayed mostly on the gunman, Oddity's first victim kept trying to grab the dog from the side, forcing him to bounce about, switching between snapping at one and barking at the gun.
Reno arrived just in time. Occupied with the dog, the little gunman never saw the mean cavalier coming at him. With a hard fist, Reno made contact with his jaw, slamming him back to the ground. Reno quickly jumped on top of him and grabbed for the gun.
But death dwarves might be stupid, but they were also stubborn. He latched on to his weapon with both hands and struggled with the larger man.
Reno had size, leverage, and was even meaner than any death dwarf.... at least when the end of a great night ended up like this. With one more good hit, the death dwarf was knocked out, relinquishing his gun to the Cavalier.
Rawhide was busy dodging the swinging knife of a dwarf, keeping himself between the attacker and Buckaroo's back.
Buckaroo was just sending his last attacker flying through the air to slam into the front of the bus.
Perfect Tommy kicked his feet, sending a dwarf rolling away only to come within Knuckles' reach. her response to his presence was quick and sudden. She stepped on him, using him as a boost to leap after another of the enemy who was making a run for it.
Then the Blue Blazes were off the bus and, within a breath's time, swarmed over the enemy. And then it was over.
Oddity ran around the action, barking wildly. Every time he came within reach, he snapped at one of the prisoners, but the BBs scooted him away. Finally, satisfied that he was no longer needed, he flopped down on the ground at Knuckles feet and rested his chin on his paws.
"Some one want to tell me what that was about?" Knuckles growled. her dog wined at her tone, but was too tired to put up any more of a protest. The bounty hunter was mad. And for good reason. Not only was her good night ruin, the action had chased away the alcohol in her system, bringing on the hangover way too soon.
Buckaroo sighed, felling similar effects. "That was what it always is. Bad guys making themselves an annoyance. Good guys... and dog.... showing them that that is not always the wisest course of action." he answered. He dragged himself over to where Perfect Tommy still laid on the ground, staring up at the stars. "You okay down there?"
"Hmmm?" Perfect Tommy blinked up at him. "Oh... oh, yea... Did you know that when one is plastered out of his mind, the cold cement makes a very comfortable... something?"
Buckaroo smiled. "Reno?" he called... a little too loudly he noticed when half his people winced.
"I WAS fine." Reno grumbled. "I was hoping to wait until the morning before the ritual cursing of alcohol... but, hey, why put of 'till tomorrow...."
"What do we do with them?" Knuckles asked, nodding toward the death dwarves which the rest of the BBs had tied up.
"Who wants to hang around for sirens and cops?" Rawhide asked.
In perfect harmony, the group moaned.
Buckaroo shrugged. He reached down and dragged Perfect Tommy to his feet. "Leave them tied up. we'll call the cops to pick them when we get back to the Institute. Knuckles, you wanna come to my place?"
"Oh, what would your wife say?" Knuckles cooed.
"She'd say here's the ice, here's the aspirin, here's the guest room." Buckaroo assured with a grin.
"I'll share my room." Perfect Tommy offered.
"Yea, right." Knuckles slid under his arm, and supported Tommy as she lead him up the steps and into the bus. "Bet you can't even find your room."
"Bet you're right." Perfect Tommy leaned into her. "Wanna help?"
The Blue Blazes quickly reboarded the bus. The door closed, the engine roared.
Oddity barked.
The door opened.
"Oddity, come!"
The dog raced aboard, loudly barking happily.
Another harmonized hangover groan.
The door closed and the bus drove away, leaving eight death dwarves, tied and gagged, in a pile in the middle of the parking lot of the Jessie James Club.
by the Chronicler
----------
Ch. 2
----------
"Woe!" Rawhide fanned his nose with a hand. "What did you step in?"
Perfect Tommy glared at him. He tugged on his collar-less silk shirt, before slipping into the tuxedo jacket.
Knuckles laughed. "Kinda reminds me of a lemer." When confused glances was the only response she received, she explained further. "All pretty and fluffy, but when it comes to warfare they throw their scent at one another."
The occupants of the room listened, thought, looked Perfect Tommy up and down, then broke into laughter.
"Funny. Ha ha." P.T mumbled. "But why are you all laughing at me when we're dressing up to go to an award ceremony for a mutt?"
Knuckles sat up. "Oddity is not a mutt! He is a pure bred silver Austrian shepard! And he deserves an award. He could of died saving that kid!" She stepped up close, daring him to say anything counter to her claim. "I didn't see you jumping into no damn river."
A bark from the star of the night drew their attention. Oddity ran into the room just before Peggy. He wore a bow tie and a doggy tux.
"Ha!" Perfect Tommy pointed at the dog. "Now that is funny!"
Oddity sniffed at him, then, with a shake of his head, sneezed.
"Ha!" Pecos returned. "Now that is funny!"
----------
The govoner putting a medal around a dogs neck was not unheard of, not in the least. There were even special awards for animals who performed heroic deeds.
But this was the first for the Blue Blazes and the Hong Kong Cavaliers. But, hey, who were they to turn down a reason to celebrate? And they spent the night celebrating at the Jessie James Club.
Heads fuzzy, ears buzzing, eyes bleary from drink and the late hour, the Blue Blazes began to file out to the World Watch One.
Perfect Tommy leaned Knuckles against the door frame with the excuse that he was making room for the others to move out the door.
Knuckles tried to frown, but it came out more as a giggle. "You are such a dweeb." she reprimanded.
"Yea.... but I'm a perfect dweeb." Tommy glanced over at his shoulder at Rawhide as he herded the last of the BB out of the Jessie James Club and toward the bus. "Hey, what's a dweeb, anyway?"
Rawhide shook his head. "It means you are too drunk for me to take advantage of the situation and tell you exactly what dweeb means." he set a strong hand on the younger man's shoulder, pulled him away from Knuckles, and gave him a not-so-gentle shove toward the bus.
Knuckles waved at him as he stumbled away.
Rawhide grinned. "Great swing-dig, girl." he offered. He nodded toward Oddity who stumbled around the parking lot, wining and yipping as his guest left. "Oddity deserved a little congrads. He is a great dog."
Knuckles took a deep breath, wavered slightly, and smiled. "I like him." Then her nose scrunched up and she scratched her head. "Hey, can you take care of him next week? A bounty is coming back into the country and I've gotta go pick him up. But it's in the city and oddity is a country dog."
The cowboy nodded. "Yea. love to have him. He can ride fences with me." he answered though his attention seemed to drift in another direction.
A group of children, all dressed in black sweat shirts with hoods pulled up, were approaching Buckaroo as he was trying to get an accurate count of the Blue Blazes as the climbed aboard the bus, ran off again, or, just plain old pushed each other out the windows. Frustrated, he threw up his hands and hollered "That's it! This is the last time I'm taking you anywhere!" His mock anger quickly faded when he spotted the children.
"Hey, mister, you're Buckaroo Banzai and the Hong Kong Cavaliers, ain't ya?" one asked.
Never one to miss an opportunity at being the center of attention, Perfect Tommy quickly jumped out of the bus. "Yup. We certainly are!"
Rawhide frowned, the fuzziness of the drink quickly fading. "Anything seem funny about that to you?" he asked Knuckles.
Knuckles turned about to see. "What? You mean a bunch of black hooded ten year olds hangin' out in the parking lot of an over-21 club at three am askin' for autographs from the HKC which no one knew was here?" She shrugged. "Nothin' funny 'bout that."
"Yea... me too." Rawhide agreed. "Sober?"
"Am now." Her tone was suddenly crisp and clear. She was too well trained, too experience, to let a few drinks get in the way of action.
Despite the children's focus seemingly to be all on his boss, Perfect Tommy babbled on about the band and where they were next to play and what he was going to where.
Buckaroo smiled and let him go on. he much rather let Perfect Tommy be the center of everything... he was so perfect at it. Besides, keeping his balanced seemed to be a main concern of the moment as Oddity had squeezed his head between his knees, trying to get a better look at the newcomers.
Oddity sniffed at the children. His ears twitched. Then, to Buckaroo's surprise and dismay, lowered his head and snarled.
"Hey, there, boy." Buckaroo reached down and grabbed the dog by the collar just as he lunged at the closest of the children. "Hey! Oddity! Down!" he yelled.
But Oddity had managed to snatch a black sleeve. As Buckaroo hauled him back, he whipped his head about, ripping the sweat shirt and throwing the child to the ground.
"Bad, Oddity! Bad dog!" Buckaroo snapped.
Reno, coming back off the bus to see what the commotion was, quickly grabbed Oddity and pulled the fighting dog further back from the children.
Buckaroo turned back to the fallen child to be sure that he was alright. but stopped.
Something very different than what he expected laid on the ground before him. Sweat shirt torn off, revealing a short little thing with a bearded chin and hard, mean eyes... and a .44 magnum coming up at him.
Perfect Tommy moved quickly, kicking the gun aside, but, before he could do anything else, he was set upon by the other so-called children, one on each limb while three others went after Buckaroo.
"Death Dwarves!" Reno yelled, releasing the oddity who lunged forward once again. The cavalier reached back for his gun only to grab at empty air.
Of course, Knuckles didn't allow anyone who was drinking to carry guns in the Jessie James Club. All of their weapons were locked in the armory in the bus.... out of reach of those who needed them now!
Oddity's head turned just enough as he leaped passed to snatch one of Buckaroo's little attackers and drag him down to the ground. teeth securely latched of the death dwarf's arm, oddity began to shake his head violently, whipping the little evil doer back and forth.
Rawhide ran onto the scene, and, without taking the time to aim, delivered a solid kick at the death dwarf attached to Buckaroo's left leg. It was not only enough force to detach the attacker, but send him flying through the air in a roll to crash into the first who had just been climbing to his feet.
"Damn, they're ugly." Knuckles observed as she hesitated in coming to Perfect Tommy's aid.
"Well, they have sharp teeth! Get the little bugger off!" Perfect Tommy yelled, trying to shake his arms free.
His efforts managed to knock one free, but only to rile him enough draw a gun and take aim at the Cavalier.
But, before he could fire, Oddity, rolling on the ground with his current victim, slammed into the gunman, sending his shot wild.
Startled cries came from inside the World Watch One as the bullet bounced of the armor platting.
Sensing the gun as the greater threat, Oddity released his current hold, and spun about to face the new challenge. Crouching down, he barked wildly.
Knuckles wrapped an arm around another death dwarf's throat and pride him off of Perfect Tommy's leg.
The little man spun about and swung at her with an equally little dagger.
"Hey, you little creaton." She shoved him back, accidentally slamming him into Tommy again, knocking the Cavalier and his attackers down to the ground.
Reno rushed toward the only gun currently in view... which just happened to be aimed at Oddity.
Though his attention stayed mostly on the gunman, Oddity's first victim kept trying to grab the dog from the side, forcing him to bounce about, switching between snapping at one and barking at the gun.
Reno arrived just in time. Occupied with the dog, the little gunman never saw the mean cavalier coming at him. With a hard fist, Reno made contact with his jaw, slamming him back to the ground. Reno quickly jumped on top of him and grabbed for the gun.
But death dwarves might be stupid, but they were also stubborn. He latched on to his weapon with both hands and struggled with the larger man.
Reno had size, leverage, and was even meaner than any death dwarf.... at least when the end of a great night ended up like this. With one more good hit, the death dwarf was knocked out, relinquishing his gun to the Cavalier.
Rawhide was busy dodging the swinging knife of a dwarf, keeping himself between the attacker and Buckaroo's back.
Buckaroo was just sending his last attacker flying through the air to slam into the front of the bus.
Perfect Tommy kicked his feet, sending a dwarf rolling away only to come within Knuckles' reach. her response to his presence was quick and sudden. She stepped on him, using him as a boost to leap after another of the enemy who was making a run for it.
Then the Blue Blazes were off the bus and, within a breath's time, swarmed over the enemy. And then it was over.
Oddity ran around the action, barking wildly. Every time he came within reach, he snapped at one of the prisoners, but the BBs scooted him away. Finally, satisfied that he was no longer needed, he flopped down on the ground at Knuckles feet and rested his chin on his paws.
"Some one want to tell me what that was about?" Knuckles growled. her dog wined at her tone, but was too tired to put up any more of a protest. The bounty hunter was mad. And for good reason. Not only was her good night ruin, the action had chased away the alcohol in her system, bringing on the hangover way too soon.
Buckaroo sighed, felling similar effects. "That was what it always is. Bad guys making themselves an annoyance. Good guys... and dog.... showing them that that is not always the wisest course of action." he answered. He dragged himself over to where Perfect Tommy still laid on the ground, staring up at the stars. "You okay down there?"
"Hmmm?" Perfect Tommy blinked up at him. "Oh... oh, yea... Did you know that when one is plastered out of his mind, the cold cement makes a very comfortable... something?"
Buckaroo smiled. "Reno?" he called... a little too loudly he noticed when half his people winced.
"I WAS fine." Reno grumbled. "I was hoping to wait until the morning before the ritual cursing of alcohol... but, hey, why put of 'till tomorrow...."
"What do we do with them?" Knuckles asked, nodding toward the death dwarves which the rest of the BBs had tied up.
"Who wants to hang around for sirens and cops?" Rawhide asked.
In perfect harmony, the group moaned.
Buckaroo shrugged. He reached down and dragged Perfect Tommy to his feet. "Leave them tied up. we'll call the cops to pick them when we get back to the Institute. Knuckles, you wanna come to my place?"
"Oh, what would your wife say?" Knuckles cooed.
"She'd say here's the ice, here's the aspirin, here's the guest room." Buckaroo assured with a grin.
"I'll share my room." Perfect Tommy offered.
"Yea, right." Knuckles slid under his arm, and supported Tommy as she lead him up the steps and into the bus. "Bet you can't even find your room."
"Bet you're right." Perfect Tommy leaned into her. "Wanna help?"
The Blue Blazes quickly reboarded the bus. The door closed, the engine roared.
Oddity barked.
The door opened.
"Oddity, come!"
The dog raced aboard, loudly barking happily.
Another harmonized hangover groan.
The door closed and the bus drove away, leaving eight death dwarves, tied and gagged, in a pile in the middle of the parking lot of the Jessie James Club.