Chapter 8: Black Illusion
By: DarkDuelist
Disclaimer: Aladdin, Jasmine and Co. are copyright of Disney and I used them without permission. This idea came from Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Normal Again, which belongs to Joss Whedon. The ep 'Normal Again' was written by Diego Gutierrez so tons of credit to both of them. The title of this chapter comes from a song by Ozzy Osbourne. (*) means the character is thinking. (^^^) is when the place changes from Agrabah to the institution. (~) is the voice.
*When will I'll go home?* I thought to myself as I once again wandered about my room. *It's been so long since I've seen Agrabah. What was it that Dr. Rosenberg said? That I was finally awaking from the world I made. That was the reason I wasn't going back in forth from here to Agrabah like before. But if thats true, then Agrabah...*
~Isn't real! Isn't that what I've been saying all along?~
*But Mozenrath...*
~Stupid boy,~the voice whispered.~Mozenrath is all in your mind just like all the others.~
*But it all seemed so real.*
"Alan?"
I turned to see Dr. Rosenberg standing in my room. "Hi Dr. Rosenberg."
He smiled. "How are you today Alan?"
"My head hurts, a lot."
Dr. Rosenberg sighed sadly. "Your hear voices again Alan? What are they saying to you?"
"There's one. It said that Agrabah isn't real."
He looked shocked. "Really? Well, that's new. All the other times it was the other way around."
"Dr. Rosenberg, if this really is the real world then how come I can't remember a lot of things? Like where I live? How I got here?"
"Well, I think that as time pasted and you became more trusting in your world, you chose to not remember things that did not matter in "Agrabah." Do you understand?'
"I think." *Could it be true? Or was it just a trick of Mozenrath's? It dose make sense.*
"I must say, I'm very happy that your asking questions Alan. " He said with a smile.
"Then, do you mind if I ask more?"
He chuckled. "By all means ask away."
I asked the doctor anything that could help me figure out what was real and what was not. In the end I was more lost then ever. Half of me believe that somehow all this was part of Mozenrath's spell. But the other half really wanted this world to be real. I sat there, thoughts running wild through my head.
~Why are you doing this Alan? Why can't you just let your illusions go? You know I'm right. Somewhere, deep inside you know I'm right. ~
"Leave me alone. Your nothing. Your the illusion." I close my eyes, in vain hope that the 'voice' will just give up and leave me alone in my thoughts.
~Leave you alone?~ it laughed evilly ~You know thats the last thing you want. You were always wanting to have someone. You hate to be alone, but you always are. Here, in this room, in your head with your make-believe friends. You'll always be alone. And in some sick way you like it that way, don't you?~
"Shut up!" I got to my feet and started looking around the room, wishing I had someone to at least look at. "You don't know me! Your nothing. Nothing but a voice in my head! You don't know what it's like!" I could feel my tears slowly running down my face again. "You know nothing. Your nothing!"
~NOTHING!?~ it yelled in rage making my head throb in pain.~You should know a lot about being nothing! I know you more than you know yourself! Poor you!~ it's tone had turn for that of rage to mock.~You always wanted to finally have someone, a friend, someone to love, but you wanted to be alone too. It's fear. Your fear is that when they finally see who you really are they leave you. And your right too. They will leave you. If those little friends in that place find out about all the doubt and fears that are inside your head they'll leave you before you have even a second to give a reason. Isn't that right?~
I put my hands over my ears, close my eyes even harder, my fingers started to pull at my hair but I couldn't feel a thing. "Get out! Leave me, get out of my head! Just shut up."
~Get out of your head? Gladly!~
And that was it. The room became dead quite. I stood there for a moment, with my eyes still closed and my hands over my ears. All I could hear was my own breathing. I lowered my hands but still keep my eyes shut. And slowly I opened them.... And there, stand in front of me was myself. The thing looked just like me in every way, all but the eyes. They were all black, empty and evil looking. I felt panic go through my whole body and I step back until my back came to the wall. It smiled, enjoying my fear.
"Is this what you wanted?" It's voice was that of evil and mocking. "Is this what you had in mind? Do you feel better now? Now that you have something to see, to yell at," it grab my arms roughly and slammed me hard into the wall."something to can touch?"
I stood there, unable to move or fight. Now that my fear had a face it was ten times harder to fight. It laughed and let me go and I slowly slide until I sat on the floor, my eyes never leaving it's face.
"What?" It questioned still smiling. "You don't like it? Or maybe," it's face started to change and soon it looked just like Jasmine, it's eyes still all black "this is better?"
"No" I whispered and closed my eyes."Go away. Please."
It grab me by the hair and pulled hard. "Oh no, you don't. I did this for you and now you get to see it. How much does it hurt? Knowing that I'm right? Huh?" When I didn't answer it pulled harder. "Tell me!! It hurts, knowing it's all a lie. It's all falling away now. Now you really are alone, in the dark, dirty. No one can save you. You know I'm right and that it all was an illusion. Just a black illusion. Agrabah is nothing. They are all nothing! Its all cracking. You know it's true. Don't you? Don't you?!" It pulled my hair again. "DON'T YOU?!"
"YES!"
The scream could be heard through the door and Dr. Rosenberg quickly opened it to find Alan slowly rocking back and forth, knees drawn tight to his chest with his arms locked around them, tears glistening in the light. His mouth was moving as if he was talking but Dr. Rosenberg couldn't hear anything.
"Alan? Are you okay?" Slowly he got closer and kneeled by him. "Alan?"
But he never looked at the doctor. His eyes locked looking in front of himself as if he was looking at something, the look of terror and agony in his dark eyes. And soon Dr. Rosenberg could hear what he was saying.
"It's falling away. It's cracking. All falling in. It's all gone..."
By: DarkDuelist
Disclaimer: Aladdin, Jasmine and Co. are copyright of Disney and I used them without permission. This idea came from Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Normal Again, which belongs to Joss Whedon. The ep 'Normal Again' was written by Diego Gutierrez so tons of credit to both of them. The title of this chapter comes from a song by Ozzy Osbourne. (*) means the character is thinking. (^^^) is when the place changes from Agrabah to the institution. (~) is the voice.
*When will I'll go home?* I thought to myself as I once again wandered about my room. *It's been so long since I've seen Agrabah. What was it that Dr. Rosenberg said? That I was finally awaking from the world I made. That was the reason I wasn't going back in forth from here to Agrabah like before. But if thats true, then Agrabah...*
~Isn't real! Isn't that what I've been saying all along?~
*But Mozenrath...*
~Stupid boy,~the voice whispered.~Mozenrath is all in your mind just like all the others.~
*But it all seemed so real.*
"Alan?"
I turned to see Dr. Rosenberg standing in my room. "Hi Dr. Rosenberg."
He smiled. "How are you today Alan?"
"My head hurts, a lot."
Dr. Rosenberg sighed sadly. "Your hear voices again Alan? What are they saying to you?"
"There's one. It said that Agrabah isn't real."
He looked shocked. "Really? Well, that's new. All the other times it was the other way around."
"Dr. Rosenberg, if this really is the real world then how come I can't remember a lot of things? Like where I live? How I got here?"
"Well, I think that as time pasted and you became more trusting in your world, you chose to not remember things that did not matter in "Agrabah." Do you understand?'
"I think." *Could it be true? Or was it just a trick of Mozenrath's? It dose make sense.*
"I must say, I'm very happy that your asking questions Alan. " He said with a smile.
"Then, do you mind if I ask more?"
He chuckled. "By all means ask away."
I asked the doctor anything that could help me figure out what was real and what was not. In the end I was more lost then ever. Half of me believe that somehow all this was part of Mozenrath's spell. But the other half really wanted this world to be real. I sat there, thoughts running wild through my head.
~Why are you doing this Alan? Why can't you just let your illusions go? You know I'm right. Somewhere, deep inside you know I'm right. ~
"Leave me alone. Your nothing. Your the illusion." I close my eyes, in vain hope that the 'voice' will just give up and leave me alone in my thoughts.
~Leave you alone?~ it laughed evilly ~You know thats the last thing you want. You were always wanting to have someone. You hate to be alone, but you always are. Here, in this room, in your head with your make-believe friends. You'll always be alone. And in some sick way you like it that way, don't you?~
"Shut up!" I got to my feet and started looking around the room, wishing I had someone to at least look at. "You don't know me! Your nothing. Nothing but a voice in my head! You don't know what it's like!" I could feel my tears slowly running down my face again. "You know nothing. Your nothing!"
~NOTHING!?~ it yelled in rage making my head throb in pain.~You should know a lot about being nothing! I know you more than you know yourself! Poor you!~ it's tone had turn for that of rage to mock.~You always wanted to finally have someone, a friend, someone to love, but you wanted to be alone too. It's fear. Your fear is that when they finally see who you really are they leave you. And your right too. They will leave you. If those little friends in that place find out about all the doubt and fears that are inside your head they'll leave you before you have even a second to give a reason. Isn't that right?~
I put my hands over my ears, close my eyes even harder, my fingers started to pull at my hair but I couldn't feel a thing. "Get out! Leave me, get out of my head! Just shut up."
~Get out of your head? Gladly!~
And that was it. The room became dead quite. I stood there for a moment, with my eyes still closed and my hands over my ears. All I could hear was my own breathing. I lowered my hands but still keep my eyes shut. And slowly I opened them.... And there, stand in front of me was myself. The thing looked just like me in every way, all but the eyes. They were all black, empty and evil looking. I felt panic go through my whole body and I step back until my back came to the wall. It smiled, enjoying my fear.
"Is this what you wanted?" It's voice was that of evil and mocking. "Is this what you had in mind? Do you feel better now? Now that you have something to see, to yell at," it grab my arms roughly and slammed me hard into the wall."something to can touch?"
I stood there, unable to move or fight. Now that my fear had a face it was ten times harder to fight. It laughed and let me go and I slowly slide until I sat on the floor, my eyes never leaving it's face.
"What?" It questioned still smiling. "You don't like it? Or maybe," it's face started to change and soon it looked just like Jasmine, it's eyes still all black "this is better?"
"No" I whispered and closed my eyes."Go away. Please."
It grab me by the hair and pulled hard. "Oh no, you don't. I did this for you and now you get to see it. How much does it hurt? Knowing that I'm right? Huh?" When I didn't answer it pulled harder. "Tell me!! It hurts, knowing it's all a lie. It's all falling away now. Now you really are alone, in the dark, dirty. No one can save you. You know I'm right and that it all was an illusion. Just a black illusion. Agrabah is nothing. They are all nothing! Its all cracking. You know it's true. Don't you? Don't you?!" It pulled my hair again. "DON'T YOU?!"
"YES!"
The scream could be heard through the door and Dr. Rosenberg quickly opened it to find Alan slowly rocking back and forth, knees drawn tight to his chest with his arms locked around them, tears glistening in the light. His mouth was moving as if he was talking but Dr. Rosenberg couldn't hear anything.
"Alan? Are you okay?" Slowly he got closer and kneeled by him. "Alan?"
But he never looked at the doctor. His eyes locked looking in front of himself as if he was looking at something, the look of terror and agony in his dark eyes. And soon Dr. Rosenberg could hear what he was saying.
"It's falling away. It's cracking. All falling in. It's all gone..."