Woo! See how good I am!! Actually, I already had most of this written and
just.forgot about it..lol. Hope you like it..it probably sucks, because as
we all learned, I Suck!!!! Woo!!
Bridget- Thank you so much for the reviews!! I really appreciate it; and good job for guessing it was leukemia before I told you; it's really from just getting your reviews that I was like, oh yeah, I should put something up, and then I went back and re-read what I had of this chapter, and I edited it so I wasn't rushing into parts of it as much, because what I had her confessing with her mom I want her to do with Jess, and ah, you don't care, but THANKYOU! and that goes for everybody; if you want me to update after it's been.what is it now? forever? send me a review out of the blue and I'm like..woah.review..3's to them, I'll post something
Emily-of course you got a shout out! You're awesome!!! I wanna be just like you when I grow up! Cept I'm already kind of grown up..oh well..and band camp?! What were you doing there?! Naughty naughty :-P
Smile-thanks! I appreciate it! I've been looking at some of your stuff, and it's preeety awesome!
Lucial-oops..it took as long again..sorry!!! :( longer actually!! I'm really bad! Really really bad!
Momo- of course it's gonna be R/J and L/L!! I don't know how much the L/L will be, but it'll definitely be hidden in there for our little pleasures, lol :-D
Kat- I dunno.was it rushed? Hmm..well, this one might be just as bad..I'll try not to rush.but that also means that I take longer getting stuff up..not like this chapter didn't take FOREVER, cuz I suck! Woo!
Samantha- I promise it's coming!!! Maybe the next chapter, or the one after it! working on Dean this chapter, you know, getting him out of the picture; hard chapter to write, let me tell you that
Ok, story now!!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It'd been almost an hour since he came in, and neither of us had said a word yet. I wonder what he was thinking about. He was the one who came in in the first place, I hadn't wanted him to, and now he's sitting there not saying anything. If he didn't have anything important to say, then I was just going to go back to sleep. It was a lot better than being awake. I curled up and closed my eyes. When I woke up he was still sitting there, looking at the window, obviously lost in thought.
"Dean?" He looked startled when he heard my voice. "Dean, what are you doing?"
"Oh, Rory... Hey."
"You've been sitting there for who knows how long and all you have to say is 'hey'? Come on, talk to me, what have you been thinking about?" I never expected what he said next.
"Rory, I think it's best we call off the wedding..."
"W-What?"
"I've been thinking about it a long time, and I think it's the most rational thing to do."
"How is that rational?!"
"It just is, ok? I have my whole life ahead of me, and I think it's just easier if we aren't tied together right now."
"So you're just going to leave? You're just going to walk away? What would you have done if we were already married Dean? What happened to for better or for worse? Well, I bet you're happy! We found out just in time, huh? You can just slip away with no obligations and leave me to deal with everything by myself!"
"No, Rory, it's not-- it's just..."
"I'm gonna hold you back? Pull you down? You can't stand to live in a world that isn't perfect? Who ever said I could either? I don't get a choice Dean! And you're just going to take advantage of yours? And to think you said you loved me! What is love, Dean? It isn't running away just because there's a bump in the road!"
"Ror... you know I love you"
"No, Dean, just go; it'll be easier for both of us without you pretending you care." He slowly walked to the door, and when he reached it, he turned to look at me.
"I'm sorry, I just can't do it; it'll be better this way," he said before he slipped out the door. Sure, it was better; it was better for him, better and easier. It was easier for him to walk away from my troubles and not have to deal with them. He was the lucky one, he could walk away. I just couldn't believe he was actually doing it. For some reason I was actually stupid enough to think he'd stick through it with me. As he left, I realized something. If he wasn't willing to stay with me, then who was? Were they all going to go on with their regular life and leave me here? Tears were starting to form in my eyes; I hadn't realized how badly I wanted to cry. I just barely got my face to the lumpy hospital pillow in time to muffle the heavy sobs that came next.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I was on the phone with Sookie when I realized it had been quite a long time since I talked to my daughter. I hung up, promising to call back soon, and hurriedly walked to her room. I found Rory sitting with her knees to her chest, her head resting on a pillow placed on her knees. Her hands were clenching her pillow, and looking at her tear-stained face, it was obvious she had cried herself to sleep.
"Oh, Rory" I sighed quietly to myself as I walked to her bed and gently smoothed her hair. I went to pull the chair closer to the bed, and when I looked at her again, she had opened her eyes, obviously awakened by my noise.
"Oh, I'm sorry sweetheart, I didn't mean to wake you. I was trying to be quiet."
"Mom, you suck at being quiet."
"Kind of you to put it so nicely."
"Yeah..."
"What's wrong honey?"
"He called it off."
"Who called what off? What are you talking about?"
"Dean. He called it off; he canceled the wedding. He canceled the wedding and just walked away, out of my life and my problems most likely to find someone better and prettier and healthier and just..." Her voice was starting to break up. "He doesn't love me enough mom, he doesn't love me..." That's where she broke into sobs. I slowly got in her bed and held her in my arms as she cried.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ok, so it wasn't that great, and it might seem sudden with Dean canceling the wedding, and such, but I think I worked out some of it; I know Rory's little outburst might be kind of out of character, and really sudden too, but I think she deserves to have one, and I dunno.it was a hard dialogue to write; I thought about writing it without their conversation, just her reflections on it, but that'd just be me taking the easy way out; if ya'll think that it sucks too much, I can try to rewrite it a different way, cuz I was trying some different approaches and stuff. So, yeah.hope it didn't suck too badly; so dean's out of the way; there might be a little more of him still, haven't decided yet, but jess should come soon; should be the next chapter as a matter of fact (I even have a semi outline know! who is good? I just have to write it!)
Bridget- Thank you so much for the reviews!! I really appreciate it; and good job for guessing it was leukemia before I told you; it's really from just getting your reviews that I was like, oh yeah, I should put something up, and then I went back and re-read what I had of this chapter, and I edited it so I wasn't rushing into parts of it as much, because what I had her confessing with her mom I want her to do with Jess, and ah, you don't care, but THANKYOU! and that goes for everybody; if you want me to update after it's been.what is it now? forever? send me a review out of the blue and I'm like..woah.review..3's to them, I'll post something
Emily-of course you got a shout out! You're awesome!!! I wanna be just like you when I grow up! Cept I'm already kind of grown up..oh well..and band camp?! What were you doing there?! Naughty naughty :-P
Smile-thanks! I appreciate it! I've been looking at some of your stuff, and it's preeety awesome!
Lucial-oops..it took as long again..sorry!!! :( longer actually!! I'm really bad! Really really bad!
Momo- of course it's gonna be R/J and L/L!! I don't know how much the L/L will be, but it'll definitely be hidden in there for our little pleasures, lol :-D
Kat- I dunno.was it rushed? Hmm..well, this one might be just as bad..I'll try not to rush.but that also means that I take longer getting stuff up..not like this chapter didn't take FOREVER, cuz I suck! Woo!
Samantha- I promise it's coming!!! Maybe the next chapter, or the one after it! working on Dean this chapter, you know, getting him out of the picture; hard chapter to write, let me tell you that
Ok, story now!!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It'd been almost an hour since he came in, and neither of us had said a word yet. I wonder what he was thinking about. He was the one who came in in the first place, I hadn't wanted him to, and now he's sitting there not saying anything. If he didn't have anything important to say, then I was just going to go back to sleep. It was a lot better than being awake. I curled up and closed my eyes. When I woke up he was still sitting there, looking at the window, obviously lost in thought.
"Dean?" He looked startled when he heard my voice. "Dean, what are you doing?"
"Oh, Rory... Hey."
"You've been sitting there for who knows how long and all you have to say is 'hey'? Come on, talk to me, what have you been thinking about?" I never expected what he said next.
"Rory, I think it's best we call off the wedding..."
"W-What?"
"I've been thinking about it a long time, and I think it's the most rational thing to do."
"How is that rational?!"
"It just is, ok? I have my whole life ahead of me, and I think it's just easier if we aren't tied together right now."
"So you're just going to leave? You're just going to walk away? What would you have done if we were already married Dean? What happened to for better or for worse? Well, I bet you're happy! We found out just in time, huh? You can just slip away with no obligations and leave me to deal with everything by myself!"
"No, Rory, it's not-- it's just..."
"I'm gonna hold you back? Pull you down? You can't stand to live in a world that isn't perfect? Who ever said I could either? I don't get a choice Dean! And you're just going to take advantage of yours? And to think you said you loved me! What is love, Dean? It isn't running away just because there's a bump in the road!"
"Ror... you know I love you"
"No, Dean, just go; it'll be easier for both of us without you pretending you care." He slowly walked to the door, and when he reached it, he turned to look at me.
"I'm sorry, I just can't do it; it'll be better this way," he said before he slipped out the door. Sure, it was better; it was better for him, better and easier. It was easier for him to walk away from my troubles and not have to deal with them. He was the lucky one, he could walk away. I just couldn't believe he was actually doing it. For some reason I was actually stupid enough to think he'd stick through it with me. As he left, I realized something. If he wasn't willing to stay with me, then who was? Were they all going to go on with their regular life and leave me here? Tears were starting to form in my eyes; I hadn't realized how badly I wanted to cry. I just barely got my face to the lumpy hospital pillow in time to muffle the heavy sobs that came next.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I was on the phone with Sookie when I realized it had been quite a long time since I talked to my daughter. I hung up, promising to call back soon, and hurriedly walked to her room. I found Rory sitting with her knees to her chest, her head resting on a pillow placed on her knees. Her hands were clenching her pillow, and looking at her tear-stained face, it was obvious she had cried herself to sleep.
"Oh, Rory" I sighed quietly to myself as I walked to her bed and gently smoothed her hair. I went to pull the chair closer to the bed, and when I looked at her again, she had opened her eyes, obviously awakened by my noise.
"Oh, I'm sorry sweetheart, I didn't mean to wake you. I was trying to be quiet."
"Mom, you suck at being quiet."
"Kind of you to put it so nicely."
"Yeah..."
"What's wrong honey?"
"He called it off."
"Who called what off? What are you talking about?"
"Dean. He called it off; he canceled the wedding. He canceled the wedding and just walked away, out of my life and my problems most likely to find someone better and prettier and healthier and just..." Her voice was starting to break up. "He doesn't love me enough mom, he doesn't love me..." That's where she broke into sobs. I slowly got in her bed and held her in my arms as she cried.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ok, so it wasn't that great, and it might seem sudden with Dean canceling the wedding, and such, but I think I worked out some of it; I know Rory's little outburst might be kind of out of character, and really sudden too, but I think she deserves to have one, and I dunno.it was a hard dialogue to write; I thought about writing it without their conversation, just her reflections on it, but that'd just be me taking the easy way out; if ya'll think that it sucks too much, I can try to rewrite it a different way, cuz I was trying some different approaches and stuff. So, yeah.hope it didn't suck too badly; so dean's out of the way; there might be a little more of him still, haven't decided yet, but jess should come soon; should be the next chapter as a matter of fact (I even have a semi outline know! who is good? I just have to write it!)