A Conversation
"When I got home after the last time we met, Nick was waiting for me. As I opened the door, I could see him on the other side. I smiled my usual greeting and went past him to fix myself some breakfast. He must have followed me into the kitchen as the next thing I know he had pinned me against one of the cabinets and was trying to kiss me. Out of pure instinct, I resisted but he had pure brute strength on my instinct. He held me against the cabinet with his body, and one of his hands. In his other hand he held a scrap of paper that I recognised instantly. It was yours Jack, the piece you wrote your number on when we first...met. I don't know where he got it from. He was inches away from my face, screaming about how he always knew that I was having an affair, and how much he was going to make me suffer for humiliating him. That's when he started hitting me. There was nothing I could do to escape, he just held me there and hit me around the face. I knew better than to try and scream, it normally makes him worse. I don't know how long he hit me like that, although for some reason I didn't lose consciousness, not at that point anyway. When he stopped, my vision was swimming and all one eye could see was blood. I naively thought it was over then. He relaxed his hold on me and I made as if to move, but his hand flew to my throat. He asked me where I was going, and said that there was no way that he had finished me. He said that I had to learn how to respect a man, and know what a woman's true position in life was. I knew then what he was going to do. I also knew that I was powerless to stop it and that afterwards no one would believe me. That was when I screamed. He started to hit me again, not just on the face this time but everywhere he could get to. I can remember falling to the floor, trying to make myself as small as possible but that's all I can remember."
"Janet. I don't know what to say to you. I don't know how anything that I could say could comfort you in anyway. How did you escape, where is he and what else did he do?"
"That's what I have to tell you, why I'm partly glad to see you again. The next thing I remember is seeing a paramedic leaning over me. Apparently, my scream had been heard by an insurance sales-man who was canvassing the neighbourhood that morning. He had been concerned enough to ring the doorbell. When no one came to the door, he looked in through the window and saw me on the floor with Nick standing over me. He called the police but decided that I needed help at that moment, not when the police arrived. He got in and managed to distract Nick until the police got there. I know what you are going to ask and I have been through a plethora of tests, but considering the fact that both of us were still fully clothed, it seems as though he did not have time to do anything else to me. My injuries are not even that severe considering, they are mainly just bruises and a few cuts to my face. I did think of calling you, but I remembered you telling me about how it was a year since Charlie...died. I didn't want to disturb you, or add an extra burden. I thought I could look after myself. I have helped patients who have been through much worse than what happened to me. It was so hard though Jack. I have been trying to call you for the last week though, where have you been? I needed you."
"Janet, it wouldn't have been a burden to me. If I had known that this was going on, I would never have even considered..."
"Considered what? Jack why did you want to see me so badly tonight?"
"I'm leaving."
"What do you mean your leaving?"
"The air force has given me one last mission."
"You said you were retired."
"I am, but I have to take this one. You have to understand, this will be my final mission. If I had known what was going to happen, I don't think that I would have taken it. I'm sorry."
"Your going on a suicide mission aren't you?"
"Not exactly...I can't tell you any more."
"Why did you take it?"
"They caught me at a very bad time, I thought I was ready to die. Everything is in motion now, I can't pull out."
"How did we end up in such a mess?"
"I wish I knew. I can't believe I'm leaving you."
"Don't feel too guilty, cause I am leaving as well."
"What?"
"When my CO found out about Nick and I, he decided to have me re-assigned. I would like to think it's because he doesn't want me to have to work around Nick, but I think it's because I have broken some 'boys club' honour thing, he just doesn't want me there. I think his decision is a good thing though; I'm going to build up a more specialist knowledge in infectious diseases. The thought of leaving you had been tearing me apart, but if you're off on a suicide mission...well. Please don't think I'm angry, I'm not. What we had...well I don't think I can define it, was unforgettable. Most of the time, we have been there for each other, and have been able to lose our pain for brief moments".
"I wish it didn't have to end this way. I wish I hadn't accepted this mission. Maybe this is the best way though? With both of us being connected to the air force, we could have been parted at any moment. I cannot have been doing you any favours either, you need to be able to make the most of the life you have before you. Without having a reminder of the darker side of your past. At least this way we get to say goodbye properly."
"With no regrets?"
"Yeah."
"Jack, are you going to die?"
"I don't know"
"When I got home after the last time we met, Nick was waiting for me. As I opened the door, I could see him on the other side. I smiled my usual greeting and went past him to fix myself some breakfast. He must have followed me into the kitchen as the next thing I know he had pinned me against one of the cabinets and was trying to kiss me. Out of pure instinct, I resisted but he had pure brute strength on my instinct. He held me against the cabinet with his body, and one of his hands. In his other hand he held a scrap of paper that I recognised instantly. It was yours Jack, the piece you wrote your number on when we first...met. I don't know where he got it from. He was inches away from my face, screaming about how he always knew that I was having an affair, and how much he was going to make me suffer for humiliating him. That's when he started hitting me. There was nothing I could do to escape, he just held me there and hit me around the face. I knew better than to try and scream, it normally makes him worse. I don't know how long he hit me like that, although for some reason I didn't lose consciousness, not at that point anyway. When he stopped, my vision was swimming and all one eye could see was blood. I naively thought it was over then. He relaxed his hold on me and I made as if to move, but his hand flew to my throat. He asked me where I was going, and said that there was no way that he had finished me. He said that I had to learn how to respect a man, and know what a woman's true position in life was. I knew then what he was going to do. I also knew that I was powerless to stop it and that afterwards no one would believe me. That was when I screamed. He started to hit me again, not just on the face this time but everywhere he could get to. I can remember falling to the floor, trying to make myself as small as possible but that's all I can remember."
"Janet. I don't know what to say to you. I don't know how anything that I could say could comfort you in anyway. How did you escape, where is he and what else did he do?"
"That's what I have to tell you, why I'm partly glad to see you again. The next thing I remember is seeing a paramedic leaning over me. Apparently, my scream had been heard by an insurance sales-man who was canvassing the neighbourhood that morning. He had been concerned enough to ring the doorbell. When no one came to the door, he looked in through the window and saw me on the floor with Nick standing over me. He called the police but decided that I needed help at that moment, not when the police arrived. He got in and managed to distract Nick until the police got there. I know what you are going to ask and I have been through a plethora of tests, but considering the fact that both of us were still fully clothed, it seems as though he did not have time to do anything else to me. My injuries are not even that severe considering, they are mainly just bruises and a few cuts to my face. I did think of calling you, but I remembered you telling me about how it was a year since Charlie...died. I didn't want to disturb you, or add an extra burden. I thought I could look after myself. I have helped patients who have been through much worse than what happened to me. It was so hard though Jack. I have been trying to call you for the last week though, where have you been? I needed you."
"Janet, it wouldn't have been a burden to me. If I had known that this was going on, I would never have even considered..."
"Considered what? Jack why did you want to see me so badly tonight?"
"I'm leaving."
"What do you mean your leaving?"
"The air force has given me one last mission."
"You said you were retired."
"I am, but I have to take this one. You have to understand, this will be my final mission. If I had known what was going to happen, I don't think that I would have taken it. I'm sorry."
"Your going on a suicide mission aren't you?"
"Not exactly...I can't tell you any more."
"Why did you take it?"
"They caught me at a very bad time, I thought I was ready to die. Everything is in motion now, I can't pull out."
"How did we end up in such a mess?"
"I wish I knew. I can't believe I'm leaving you."
"Don't feel too guilty, cause I am leaving as well."
"What?"
"When my CO found out about Nick and I, he decided to have me re-assigned. I would like to think it's because he doesn't want me to have to work around Nick, but I think it's because I have broken some 'boys club' honour thing, he just doesn't want me there. I think his decision is a good thing though; I'm going to build up a more specialist knowledge in infectious diseases. The thought of leaving you had been tearing me apart, but if you're off on a suicide mission...well. Please don't think I'm angry, I'm not. What we had...well I don't think I can define it, was unforgettable. Most of the time, we have been there for each other, and have been able to lose our pain for brief moments".
"I wish it didn't have to end this way. I wish I hadn't accepted this mission. Maybe this is the best way though? With both of us being connected to the air force, we could have been parted at any moment. I cannot have been doing you any favours either, you need to be able to make the most of the life you have before you. Without having a reminder of the darker side of your past. At least this way we get to say goodbye properly."
"With no regrets?"
"Yeah."
"Jack, are you going to die?"
"I don't know"