Title:: All Figured Out
Author:: Lokaia
Rating::R
Summary:: Check it OOOOOOOUt! Chapter 2 on a fic I'VE written! oooooooooh, wonder!
Disclaimer:: See Ch. 1
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I've been avoiding him.
Not that anyone can tell, because I never go to him anyway. He always approaches me. But I've been finding ways to get out of...well, everything with him.
What would *you* do?
The bastard said he loved me. There are two possible reasons for this. One is that he was hopped up on post-coital pheromones.
The other is that he meant it. I'm going to go ahead and think it's the first one. It's hard to think even Harlan could be dumb enough to mean it.
So by "avoiding him" I actually mean just not reacting to whatever he does.
Example?
He walked into the team room and by the look on his face, I *knew* the Commander had just given him a hard time. When Harlan gets distracted, he gets *distracted*. So it's not really all that surprising when he gets in trouble.
But it is annoying to see that look on his face, especially when you know he doesn't do it on purpose.
I watched him through half-closed eyes. Eyes that were supposed to be focused on my homework, and were up until now. 'Up until now' because he was walking straight towards me, with every intention of plopping down onto the couch beside me.
"What's with you?" I demanded when he was about a foot away.
"*Grrh*." He did sit next to me. The way he usually does. Throwing an arm around my shoulders first, then pulling my head to his chest, and throwing his other arm around to my waist, basically pulling me onto his lap.
I shrugged out of his grasp. "'Leggo' of me," I grumbled, sliding back to my side of the couch. "I have homework."
It was *not* the most inconspicuous thing to do. Usually, when I know he's had a bad day, I go along with whatever he wants. So by now, he knew there was a problem.
He didn't get around to it right away, though, because that would make too much sense.
He watched me while I attempted to look at my homework. After a few seconds, I turned and glared at him. "You're distracting me."
"What's wrong with you?" he asked. I didn't say anything and he draped an arm across the back of the couch, looking at me with an expression I couldn't name. "Why are you acting like this lately?"
"Like what?" I grumbled.
He frowned. "Like ignoring me. Not talking to me unless you have to. Not touching me *at all*. What's the matter?"
"Maybe I'm stressed because I can't finished my *homework*," I grumbled.
His eyes narrowed in confusion. "Why won't you just tell me? You've been like this for weeks."
I kept my eyes on my compupad. "I haven't been like *anything* for weeks."
"Yes, you have." Now he was getting annoyed. "Don't deny it, Bova, maybe you have the others fooled, but not me. What's *wrong* with you?"
"Fuck you."
"No, *fuck you*!" My head jerked up to stare at him in surprise. No matter what expletives I yell at Harlan, he almost never swears at me. But he was glaring at me, face flushed and angry. "You think you can patronize me like this? When the person I'm with won't touch, or talk, or even *look* at me, I want to know *why*!" He had grabbed my shoulders, practically shaking me in anger. "I get the fact that you won't initiate anything with me--I get that. I understand *every single one* of your little rules you set at the beginning of this. But you will fucking talk to me, if it's the last thing *you* do! When you ignore me for a full *three* weeks for no reason at all--"
He stopped, eyes so wide more white than brown showed.
Know what I've never experienced before? Speechlessness. That's a new one for me. By the time my voice finally said, "Oh, sorry, I was just getting something to eat", all I could say was,
"Harlan. You're hurting me."
He didn't let go, but he did loosen his grip.
"You heard me."
"What?" I was still in shock from what his first speech, I didn't entirely understand what he was saying.
"You did." He was still staring at me like he'd never seen me before. "You heard me."
My brain finally registered what he said. That's when I experienced another new feeling--fear. You'd think I'd have had plenty of that on the Christa, but no. On the Christa I feel like I'm correct, almost like a Seer compared to the rest of these people. But fear? No, that's pretty new too.
"I... what?" Speechlessness again.
"You did. You heard me say it. You heard me say I..." He stopped, whether it was from the expression on my face or his own thoughts, I still don't know. But he finally let go of me. He looked away for a second, not really looking at anything, and ran a hand over his dredlocks. "I didn't remember... not until the next morning and you... you were ignoring me then. I couldn't talk about it. But you never said anything, so... I thought you didn't know I'd said it. But if you *did* hear it, why *didn't* you say anything? And if you didn't..." He trailed off and looked at me again.
I swallowed hard. "You didn't mean it."
"What?" He was so confused, it would have been comical. *If* he didn't also seem kind of pissed.
"You didn't mean it." I felt a little more in-control now. "You hardly even know me. Just because there's an occasional screw between us doesn't mean you actually know anything about me--"
"Oh, you're *right*, Bova," he snapped and *oh yeah* he was pissed now. "I don't know anything about you at all, because you're just *so* fucking dark, no one knows anything about you. And no one could ever figure out anything about you because you're just *so* *fucking* *dark*."
"Look, just because--"
"No. You. Look." He stood so that he was towering over me, shaking with anger. "You're going to tell me what I think and what I mean? Bull shit. You think you know what I feel?"
It took me a second to understand he actually wanted me to answer. Much less in control now. But I *could* answer this question.
"Yeah, Harlan. I do."
And in that one second, all the emotion left his face. He just stared down at me and slowly his hands unclenched and he took a step back. "All right. Fine." He turned and walked toward the door.
"Where are you going?" I asked the question with what I recognized as a desperation. Can we say *more* new emotions? I *hate* new emotions.
"Now you care?" His reply was biting, cold, and he didn't even turn around. He stalked out the door, leaving me alone on the couch.
"....Yes."
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(A/N:: I had to edit this a few times because they were swearing too much. ^_^ that's some of my influence there. 3 to DaChan because she is my beta-whore and more to Teki who influenced just how dark Bova is.
Chapter 3?)
Author:: Lokaia
Rating::R
Summary:: Check it OOOOOOOUt! Chapter 2 on a fic I'VE written! oooooooooh, wonder!
Disclaimer:: See Ch. 1
-----------------
I've been avoiding him.
Not that anyone can tell, because I never go to him anyway. He always approaches me. But I've been finding ways to get out of...well, everything with him.
What would *you* do?
The bastard said he loved me. There are two possible reasons for this. One is that he was hopped up on post-coital pheromones.
The other is that he meant it. I'm going to go ahead and think it's the first one. It's hard to think even Harlan could be dumb enough to mean it.
So by "avoiding him" I actually mean just not reacting to whatever he does.
Example?
He walked into the team room and by the look on his face, I *knew* the Commander had just given him a hard time. When Harlan gets distracted, he gets *distracted*. So it's not really all that surprising when he gets in trouble.
But it is annoying to see that look on his face, especially when you know he doesn't do it on purpose.
I watched him through half-closed eyes. Eyes that were supposed to be focused on my homework, and were up until now. 'Up until now' because he was walking straight towards me, with every intention of plopping down onto the couch beside me.
"What's with you?" I demanded when he was about a foot away.
"*Grrh*." He did sit next to me. The way he usually does. Throwing an arm around my shoulders first, then pulling my head to his chest, and throwing his other arm around to my waist, basically pulling me onto his lap.
I shrugged out of his grasp. "'Leggo' of me," I grumbled, sliding back to my side of the couch. "I have homework."
It was *not* the most inconspicuous thing to do. Usually, when I know he's had a bad day, I go along with whatever he wants. So by now, he knew there was a problem.
He didn't get around to it right away, though, because that would make too much sense.
He watched me while I attempted to look at my homework. After a few seconds, I turned and glared at him. "You're distracting me."
"What's wrong with you?" he asked. I didn't say anything and he draped an arm across the back of the couch, looking at me with an expression I couldn't name. "Why are you acting like this lately?"
"Like what?" I grumbled.
He frowned. "Like ignoring me. Not talking to me unless you have to. Not touching me *at all*. What's the matter?"
"Maybe I'm stressed because I can't finished my *homework*," I grumbled.
His eyes narrowed in confusion. "Why won't you just tell me? You've been like this for weeks."
I kept my eyes on my compupad. "I haven't been like *anything* for weeks."
"Yes, you have." Now he was getting annoyed. "Don't deny it, Bova, maybe you have the others fooled, but not me. What's *wrong* with you?"
"Fuck you."
"No, *fuck you*!" My head jerked up to stare at him in surprise. No matter what expletives I yell at Harlan, he almost never swears at me. But he was glaring at me, face flushed and angry. "You think you can patronize me like this? When the person I'm with won't touch, or talk, or even *look* at me, I want to know *why*!" He had grabbed my shoulders, practically shaking me in anger. "I get the fact that you won't initiate anything with me--I get that. I understand *every single one* of your little rules you set at the beginning of this. But you will fucking talk to me, if it's the last thing *you* do! When you ignore me for a full *three* weeks for no reason at all--"
He stopped, eyes so wide more white than brown showed.
Know what I've never experienced before? Speechlessness. That's a new one for me. By the time my voice finally said, "Oh, sorry, I was just getting something to eat", all I could say was,
"Harlan. You're hurting me."
He didn't let go, but he did loosen his grip.
"You heard me."
"What?" I was still in shock from what his first speech, I didn't entirely understand what he was saying.
"You did." He was still staring at me like he'd never seen me before. "You heard me."
My brain finally registered what he said. That's when I experienced another new feeling--fear. You'd think I'd have had plenty of that on the Christa, but no. On the Christa I feel like I'm correct, almost like a Seer compared to the rest of these people. But fear? No, that's pretty new too.
"I... what?" Speechlessness again.
"You did. You heard me say it. You heard me say I..." He stopped, whether it was from the expression on my face or his own thoughts, I still don't know. But he finally let go of me. He looked away for a second, not really looking at anything, and ran a hand over his dredlocks. "I didn't remember... not until the next morning and you... you were ignoring me then. I couldn't talk about it. But you never said anything, so... I thought you didn't know I'd said it. But if you *did* hear it, why *didn't* you say anything? And if you didn't..." He trailed off and looked at me again.
I swallowed hard. "You didn't mean it."
"What?" He was so confused, it would have been comical. *If* he didn't also seem kind of pissed.
"You didn't mean it." I felt a little more in-control now. "You hardly even know me. Just because there's an occasional screw between us doesn't mean you actually know anything about me--"
"Oh, you're *right*, Bova," he snapped and *oh yeah* he was pissed now. "I don't know anything about you at all, because you're just *so* fucking dark, no one knows anything about you. And no one could ever figure out anything about you because you're just *so* *fucking* *dark*."
"Look, just because--"
"No. You. Look." He stood so that he was towering over me, shaking with anger. "You're going to tell me what I think and what I mean? Bull shit. You think you know what I feel?"
It took me a second to understand he actually wanted me to answer. Much less in control now. But I *could* answer this question.
"Yeah, Harlan. I do."
And in that one second, all the emotion left his face. He just stared down at me and slowly his hands unclenched and he took a step back. "All right. Fine." He turned and walked toward the door.
"Where are you going?" I asked the question with what I recognized as a desperation. Can we say *more* new emotions? I *hate* new emotions.
"Now you care?" His reply was biting, cold, and he didn't even turn around. He stalked out the door, leaving me alone on the couch.
"....Yes."
-----------------------
(A/N:: I had to edit this a few times because they were swearing too much. ^_^ that's some of my influence there. 3 to DaChan because she is my beta-whore and more to Teki who influenced just how dark Bova is.
Chapter 3?)