Chapter 6 – Creation of the Future

He slowly got off her then and sat down on the edge of the bed. And she moved, slowly moved, turned away from him and proceeded to roll herself in a small ball in the middle of the bed. And Ranma had never felt so much guilt in his life, had never felt so completely guilty and hurting. He turned to her when the pain became unbearable and softly touched her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and he knew that his words would never change anything. Never. It was a long time to go. And Akane did not even seem to feel his touch. Where before, she would have moved away, now there was not even a flinch. Her skin had grown cold and clammy and he could feel the tears that were still slipping down her face. He slowly got off the bed, pulled on his clothes and boots, remembering every move, every gesture he had made when he had pulled them off and he died some more.

He slowly went back to her and gently picked her up before putting her by the edge of the bed. He went to the bathroom and filled a bowl with water and got a clean piece of cloth. He came back to her and ever so gently cleaned her up. Every stroke reminded him of what he had done and when it was over, he picked her up, gently deposited her in the armchair and draped a cloak around her. There was no move from Akane, no word, only the silent tears. She sat like a corpse in the armchair, staring into nothingness and crying silently. Ranma changed the bed sheets and laid her back onto the bed. He could see the bruises his passion had left on her skin. The purple marks on her shoulders, thighs and arms. He covered her with the coverlet and blew the candle before sitting down in the armchair.

He sat there the whole night watching her, feeling the guilt eating his heart away, the pain's every flow. He knew the exact moment when her breathing evened as she fell asleep when dawn rose. It was only then that he got up from the armchair, when he had made sure that she had finally fallen asleep. He stopped by the bed and gazed down at her. She looked like an angel, so beautiful, so peaceful and then his gaze slid to the bruised shoulder peeping from the coverlet and pain was in his eyes. His hand softly reached down and pulled up the coverlet. A last glance at her and then he was gone.

Shinosuke smiled as he opened the door to see a still sleeping Akane. He tiptoed to the edge of the bed and grasped the coverlet to pull. It revealed a naked shoulder with a purple bruise and he gasped. Akane woke up then and he was on his knees by the bed. He stared into the wide brown eyes and his fists clenched.

"Akane," he whispered softly and the big brown eyes that regarded him had so much pain, so much pain that his heart clench and fury rose in his throat.

"I am so sorry," he did not know why he was apologizing. For Ranma's actions or for his. For the protection he had been unable to provide her, for the love he would never be able to show her or for the pain he had let her endure. He did not know but the words came. His hand reached to touch her hair and she instinctively pulled back and Shinosuke was on his feet and out of her chamber in an instant. Fury and pain coursed through his veins as he entered his friend's bedchamber. Ranma was by the window, staring out.

"Why the hell did you do that for?" the words lashed out from Shinosuke.

Ranma slowly turned like a very old man but his friend never noticed.

"It had to be done," he whispered and Shinosuke's voice was full of pain as he demanded,

"This way? Did it have to be done this way? Did you have to hurt her?"

"Xian Pu told me that she was spending her afternoons with a man and I thought she was like her mother," Ranma whispered back, "I lost my head there and then."

Shinosuke stilled as disbelief filled his heart, "She was. She was spending her afternoons with me, discussing the history books that I brought her from the library to read to fill up the time." The long explanation ended in silence. Ranma's guilty silence. Xian Pu had not lied then and he was even more guilty than before if that was possible. Shinosuke felt his heart growing heavy; he had provoked what had happened to Akane.

"I was planning to tell you but I forgot," his voice was dead too and he turned away from his friend, retracing his steps. Akane needed him, he had to go back to her.

He found her as he had left her. And again he went to his knees besides her.

"Akane, I'm so sorry. It was my fault what happened to you. I should have told Ranma about our afternoons. But... I forgot. Oh God Akane, I am so sorry." His voice was heavy with pain as he rested his forehead on the edge of the bed. And deep in Akane, something stirred and came alive. This man who was hurting because of her. No, he shouldn't be, he shouldn't be. She would take the hurt, the wounds but not him. Not her friend. She refused that. And she lifted her hand to touch his hair.

"Not your fault," her voice was so low that he had to strain his ears to hear her. And her hand slid down one long strand of his hair. He lifted his eyes and stared at her. She tried to smile but couldn't and his hand stilled her as he softly touch the hand holding his hair and pulled back. Shinosuke had never loved her as much as he did that moment. Yes, he loved that woman even more, that courageous woman, that extraordinary woman. And for her he smiled and nodded. None of her words would take away his pain but she already had too much to shoulder. He went to her closet and pulled out a dress and he heard her whispered "No".

"I'll get you a tunic and some pants," he told her gently and picked up the torn tunic and pants that she had been wearing the night before on his way out. They had been the clothes that she had worn when she had been brought here and she had worn them as often as she could. He had often thought that it was her way of trying to still be close to the world that she had been forced to leave behind. And now, that world would never be hers again. Now, it was gone forever. His hand clenched down on them and he went to his room, searching through his clothes for something he had worn when he had been younger. He found an old shirt and pants he had worn as a young boy. They would fit her, he guessed and took them back. He lay the clothes on the armchair before telling her.

"I'll be waiting for you right outside the door. Just clean up and change. Nobody will be coming in Akane. Rap on the door when you have finished." He waited for her silent nod and stepped out. Where was the girl with stars in her eyes? Where was the girl who laughed when fighting him? Where was the girl who held so much gentleness in her eyes? Oh Ranma, what have you done? He asked his friend silently. Now her eyes were dead. Long minutes went by before he heard her rap. He entered and stopped dead in her tracks. She had cut her hair. Cut it short. Completely. Her hair stuck out from all directions in short strands. She looked so much like a young boy but for the lips. Even though they were puffy and bruised, they were definitely feminine. He lifted a brow and shook his head in mock exasperation and her lips tried to stretch into a smile and failed. She held out Ranma's small dagger that he had used during the night to Shinosuke who took it without a word. He understood though.

"I'll get you breakfast," he smiled at her and she shook her head. No amount of persuasion could change her mind and finally he gave up as her soft, "Please, no."

He took her to their sparring room and left her there. She answered his "I'll be right back," with a nod. He never even bothered to lock the door. He knew she would not leave. He hastily but thoroughly cleaned up her room, changed the beddings and got rid of anything that could remind her of the previous night even though that she would never forget that night. She went back to her room then and he coaxed her for a mouthful of food but it was all in vain. He sat with her the afternoon, she on the window ledge staring away at the skies and the forest, him reading one of the books he had brought her aloud and dropping comments here and there. He would bring her back even if it killed him. He would help her live again even if he died doing so.

Ranma stopped before the door. He could hear Shinosuke's voice softly from inside. He sounded like he was reading. Ranma glued his ear to the door and realized that Shinosuke was reading history. But he could not hear Akane. He waited but there was not a sound from Akane. Ranma gently slipped away. He felt no jealousy. Shinosuke was his friend, his brother. And Akane was a part of him. He had drunk her blood, she had drunk his. He was forever part of her as she was of him. And he found it strange the way his heart gladly accepted this fact. He found himself waiting for Shinosuke in his chambers. The latter arrived some time before dinner.
"What is it?" he regarded his friend tiredly.
"I would like to take dinner to her," Ranma slowly said.
"Haven't you done enough?" Shinosuke's voice was harsh and Ranma lowered his head. His friend lifted surprised eyes to his king.
"I would like to ask her forgiveness," Ranma replied, his voice low.
"And you think that's it. Just ask for forgiveness and you're forgiven? After what you did, you want her to forgive you?" the harsh tones in Shinosuke's voice never angered Ranma.
"No, I know what I did cannot be forgiven," again came the low voice. "But I have to ask. She deserves much more but that is all that I can give her."
"Yes, she deserves so much more. She deserves a man who will love her, protect her, cherish her. A man to whom she would mean the world. A man whose world would be lit up by her smiles and who would do anything to make her laugh and laugh with her." Shinosuke's voice hit his friend and Ranma's world suddenly blurred as his friend's words echoed over and over in his ears.

How hard he had tried to make her laugh all those evenings when he had been with her and how her laughter had made him laugh. He knew so well that he would do anything to see her smile, he knew how the sunshine seemed brighter and the night so peaceful after he had spent time with her. Was this love? Was this the kind of love that Shinosuke was talking about? Maybe, his mind told him. Yes, his heart asserted. And yet the voice of cynic replied - but she is a Tendo! - and his heart clenched.
Shinosuke watched the play of emotion on his friend's face. The confusion, the torture and then his heart sank. He understood what even his friend had not yet understood. And he laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. Ranma lifted his head and his friend's eyes held strength for him to draw and yet deep, so deep inside, there was so much sadness. But he saw only the strength, only the hope that suddenly lightened his world. He could only utter three words, "Thank you brother," and then he had pulled Shinosuke in a hard embrace and a few seconds later, he was gone. Shinosuke watched his friend walk away and every step Ranma took, he stepped on his brother's heart and wounded it some more. For the first time of his life, Shinosuke had something that he wanted more than anything, that he would give his life for, that he would never be able to forget. And it was that thing which was forbidden to him.
Before he had been the Cold One. The one who needed nothing, no one. Now he had felt warmth and he could never forget it. Before only the air he breathed had been a necessity, now there were two necessities for him: air and Akane. Akane, the one person, he would never be able to hold, never be able to touch like he wanted, never be able to love. Because she was already another man's. His brother's.