Chapter 3 – Bleed by Tapping the Vein/Carry You Around by Ani DiFranco
A/N – I've been making a lot of corrections to previous chapters (Allison suddenly realizes that February is not the first day of summer) so if you come to the conclusion that I'm totally off my rocker b/c my timeline got really screwed up, I fixed it! Huzzah!
Also, since I've also discovered it's kinda important to read the lyrics to the songs, I might throw them in at the end of each chapter. Who knows, it's however productive I feel that day, I suppose. But go to my website to read them if I don't!!
In the open room with the baby grand piano, Tori was sitting against the wall re-reading lyrics that she liked from a notebook.
You said this was all you had and it's all I need…because it fell apart and I guess it's all you knew and all I have. But now we have only confused hearts and I guess all we have is really all we need
So please, let's take these broken hearts and use, let's use only what we really need. You know we only have so little. So please, take these broken hearts and leave
Tori closed her eyes for a moment, prospects of reason wounding her, but soon raised her head as one of the instructors of the Music Center walked in and with a nod to Tori began to play a pounding piece on the piano. The violence of the music filled her with the hurried, passionate memories of two days ago when she and Sam finally crossed the line. Her body was filled with the sensation of Sam, the pressure of his body against hers, his hot breath on her neck, the fear that at any minute someone might open the door and expose one of the millions of fears that the administration carried around.
Tori drew her fingers around her notebook; a few song lyrics blazed a path to her eyes
Imagine what loneliness will drive someone to do. Now multiply that times me and multiply that times you. Now imagine what it would take to make this all happen again and just when you think you're gonna cry multiply that times ten
You are distracting me from all other activities and I know the fact of your presence will dominate my memory
She ran a shaking hand through her hair and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, trying to smother the aching emptiness that, after finally feeling satiation, was now ten thousand times worse.
He was avoiding the face of truth, like he had avoiding the truth within himself for almost three years. And the voices of his better half screamed down at the voices of lust and sadness and told him that everything that had happened could be forgotten, that it needed to be forgotten. But he remembered her; the sound of her screaming his name was seared into his memory and now his emotions were supposed to be ignored, pushed aside like so much that didn't matter. But it did matter; it was the only thing that his heart thought mattered. What was this intoxication? He thought as he dropped his head to his desk, wishing to hide his face forever from those who told him they knew better. Why was his naivety, his passion, his loneliness dragging his body around?
She showed up to his door, a Yale sweatshirt covering her body. They didn't say anything to each other; the first thing he did was pull the sweatshirt off and threw it across the room, wishing that the hollering voice of Josh in his mind would crumple up and fall into the shadow's like the sweatshirt.
"I'm empty without you." She said, hands touching him, lips kissing him, and then following him into his bedroom
"Don't talk." He said, as he gently lay her on the bed and silenced both her voice, his reason and their hunger