Yugi and Pegasus
Here we go again! Now the crazy antics are more crazy and Yugi gives Pegasus a new name!
BRAD PARKS
(Yugi goes shopping for some hair gel. He comes back to find his grandpa chained to the bed handcuffed)
Yugi: Grandpa! Who did this to you?
Grandpa: Pegasus!
Yugi: Eww!
Grandma: No! One of Pegasus' seducers! She came to the store in a skimpy tube top. She asked to see my "blue eyes white dragons". At first, I didn't know what she meant. But then she squeezed my tooshie and, you can predict what happened next.
Yugi: So did she take anything?
Grandpa: Oh, nothing that important.
Yugi: What was is?
Grandpa: Your Millennium Puzzle.
Yugi: WHAT?!?
Grandpa: I had nothing else to give her!
Yugi: You dumb old fool! I gotta go and get my puzzle back!
Grandpa: What about me?
Yugi: This is your punishment for being a senile old fart. Bye!
(Yugi leaves and heads to Pegasus' castle)
(Yugi arrives with Shabi and Ishizu at the front door)
Yugi: Hey! What are you guys doing here?
Shabi: That Pegasus stole my Millennium Key! And he did it while I was doing yoga naked.
Yugi: NaStY! Don't ever say that again!
Ishizu: He also stole my necklace. I'm afraid we have a cross dresser on our hands.
Yugi: That I can believe. Well, let's go inside and slap the crap out of Pegasus.
(they all nod and go in the castle)
Pegasus: Well, well! If it ain't Yugi boy and Shab Shab. Ooo! And you brought Shi Shi!
Ishizu: Don't ever, AND I MEAN EVER, call me that again!
Pegasus: I'm dreadfully sorry for the inconvenience, but I shall rule the world! I mean, the world needs a professional wine connoisseur! I haven't seen one as good as me since Beethoven!
Yugi: Cut the stupid crap, Pegasus. Let's just duel.
Pegasus: Oh Yugi boy, you must settle down! Your making my blood pressure skyrocket!
(Shabi leans over to Ishizu)
Shabi: Does that mean he is turned on?
Ishizu: Most likely.
Yugi: Why do you want all of the Millennium Items anyways? The other items aren't until the 2nd season!
Pegasus: Second season? Oh Yugi, your such a silly little fool. Let's duel!
(Their life points are 4000)
Yugi: Just remember Pegasus, I will beat you like last time!
Pegasus: Don't make me laugh so hard I wet my little drawers. You won because I am ironically scared of the dark. So shut up you piece of a 4H pencil!
Yugi: Go chew on a generator, you slug!
Pegasus: Since I am the oldest and most debutante of the two, I will go first. And look what I drew first! I play this card face down in defense mode and lay another card face down. Your turn, Yugi boy.
(Yugi draws a card. It's a Dancing Fairy)
Yugi: I play Dancing Fairy in attack mode! Then I place one card face down also.
Pegasus: A... dancing... fairy... oh my! I gotta have that card! (Pegasus searches through his deck. Considering that is illegal, Yugi is quite infatuated. )
Yugi: What are you doing? You can't do that! It's illegal!
Pegasus: So what! I invented the game, dammit! SO SHUT THE HELL UP!
(Yugi of course pipes down.)
Pegasus: Aha! Change of Heart! Come to papa, you precious fairies!
Yugi: Nuh uh! I play De-Spell!
Pegasus: I hate that damn card!
Yugi: So, Peggy, how does it feel to be a big fat loser?
Pegasus: Peggy? I haven't been called that since I was in Alcoholics Anonymous. Oh well... I guess I won't get what I want for the first time in my life. "How does it feel?" you might ask. Well it feels damn good!!! THANKS FOR ASKING!
Yugi: ?
Ishizu: I think he meant Paranoid Schizophrenics Anonymous.
Yugi: Dancing Fairies, attack Pegasus' life points!
Pegasus: Wait one minute! I play Dark Hole!
Yugi: I counter with White Hole!
Pegasus: No you don't! Flip that back down NOW!
Yugi: Shut up, Peggy!
Pegasus: NO ONE TELLS COLONEL MUSTARD TO HUSH! I SHALL HUSH YOU!
Shabi: Isn't he the one who make ketchup?
Ishizu: No, mustard.
Shabi: Oh! Never would of guessed.
Yugi: Just face it old man. You lost 1700 life points. Ha ha ha! Get over it.
Pegasus: I didn't lose them, see! I just found them! Just floating around here...
Yugi: Peggy, it's your turn.
Pegasus: No, I want you to go...
Yugi: Ok. Dancing fairies, attack! (Pegasus, or Peggy, loses another 1700 and loses)
Pegasus: There's more life points! They are showing up everywhere! Look... I mean... uhh... I think I'm getting a headache...
Yugi: Let's go before he offers to dance with us.
(They both nod, take their items from Pegasus' room (don't ask, don't tell) and ran out)
Yugi: Why was Pegasus so "doped up"?
Ishizu: You didn't know? I had the Millennium Scales with me!
Yugi: So? What's that got to do with anything?
Ishizu: It gives me the power to make anyone tipsy, stoned, hungover, and so forth. It's a handy little trick I played on my dog once. He hiccupped and started to hop around the room squeaking. You should have seen it.
Shabi: PETA called the next day and took Pooper.
Yugi: At least we got our items back. Hey! These are chocolate wrapped in gold foil! These aren't our items!
Shabi: Mine isn't. Neither is Ishizu's
Yugi: Huh? Why?
Ishizu: You grabbed Pegasus's chocolate version of your millennium item. He gave us the right ones because Egyptians are much cooler than Japs.
Yugi: That's racism! I'll be right back.
(He goes to the castle.)
Yugi: HEY PEGGY! WHERE'S MY MILLENNIUM ITEM?
Pegasus: I sold it on eBay.
Yugi: You little bastard!
Pegasus: To Ishizu and Shabi.
Yugi: LIAR! LIAR! PANTS ON FIRE!
Ishizu: He's telling the truth.
(Yugi turns around and gets bashed on the head with the Key.)
Yugi: Ouch. That hurts.
Ishizu: Huh?
Yugi: It looks like you guys aren't as cunning as I thought. Prepare to be send to another world!
(Yugi uses the Millennium Scales.)
Ishizu: Oh look! I see the life points too!
Shabi: You forgot to notice that they are wearing AC-DC t-shirts. Wow! THOsE are COoL.!.?
Pegasus: I told you so. Let's go and cut something.
Shabi: Okay. (They pull out scissors and cut up their cards.)
Yugi: (hehehehehehehehehehe) This is fun! I've never seen drugged up people before! COOL!
(grandpa enters)
Grandpa: Yugi! I'm gonna put you in timeout!
Yugi: Not so fast, old man!
(Yugi then proceeds to use the Scales.)
Grandpa: LOoK aT Da Pretty BURDs! (Then he imitates a bird). Quack quack! Come here, you silly moose! MOOOOOO!