A loud scream echoed through the house at number 4 Privet Drive. To the outsider this house would seem quite normal, thought here were strange rumours about a criminal boy living there with the Dursleys. This couldn't be further from the truth, Harry Potter was not in any way wicked. However, he was having a nightmare. While this could be considered normal for any child to endure, Harry Potter was no ordinary child, and the happenings of his nightmare could prove it, For Harry was a wizard, and in his dreams he was reliving a battle with the most evil wizard of his time. As Harry muttered "No, Cedric… don't take the cup… I didn't mean to….no not Cedric…. Not again" in his sleep, he did not wake up to hear the loud footsteps of Uncil Vernon pounding down the hallway in a fit of rage. He whimpered as Vernon Dursley entered the room, and Harry stopped pleading taking on on a serious tone, he shouted "I will NEVER join you, I WONT!"
"Be Quiet Boy!" Veronon growled at the still sleeping and mumbling Harry. Seeing this had no effect he became more angry and shouted "BOY IF YOU DO NOT SHUT UP THIS INSTANT…" and shook Harry roughly. As Harry's eyes opened he looked up at Uncle Vernon, in his dream thinking he was Voldemort, and spat on his clothing. This threw Vernon over the line, he grasped the back of Harry's pyjamas in one hand, lifted him up and slapped him with the other. Harry awoke the puce countenance of an angry Vernon Dursley and shuddered. He almost wished to be back in his dream. He raised his hand to touch his burning scar. Vernon Dursley, thinking he was going to use magic, took this the wrong way, and knocked his hand out of the way with such force that it shattered the elbow and tore muscles in his sholder. At this point Hedwig, Harry's Owl, was screeching in her cage, adding to the racket. "Do Not EVER Use that… that CONDITION of yours against ME!" He roared, and then lowering Harry a bit he kicked him in the ribcage. "I NEVER should have listened to Petunia, letting one of your kind in MY house!" he continued while he struck Harry's all to thin body with his enormous meaty fists. At this point the other Dursleys had awoken and Dudly had lumbered over to the door where Petunia stood in her dressing gown. She put one arm around Dudly , who on impulse cheered his father on, and, in so doing distracted him. As Vernon Dursley turned around Harry slipped out of his enormous night shirt, and with a great amount of pain struggled away from Uncil Veronon.
As Harry struggled away he felt a wave of magic rising up in him. He needed to stop it before there was another accident like with Aunt Marge. This was a strange experience for him, usually things just happened, long before he felt them brewing. However, Harry didn't have time to think about it. He attempted to loose himself in the pain of his shattered bones, telling himself that he deserved this, he deserved all kinds of pain. Another voice in his head protested but Vernon's rage had only faltered for an instant, and seeing him sitting on the ground with his eyes closed he ordered Dudly and Petunia back to their rooms while he picked Harry up and threw him against the wall shouting "YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH SPITTING ON ME THAT EASILY??" meanwhile Harry feverently chanted 'I deserve this I deserve this' in his head. "WHAT ABOUT RUINING MY BUISNESS. Did you THINK I wouldn't KNOW it was you… Cursing it?"
Vernon continued rumbling and kicked him which made a loud thunk and cracking noises as the blows reverberated through his small frame. Harry didn't so much as whimper a reply. He was too busy thinking about things to distract himself. He finally settled on the image of Snape discovering himself in a dress, or rather Nevill's Bogart, which amused him to no end, and kept his mind from the pain. Unaccustomed to this large amount of physical activity, beads of sweat erupted on Vernon's forehead, and he began to pant. Punching Harry in the stomach Vernon dropped Harry on the floor, exasperated, and bellowed "do not EVER wake me or my family up in the middle of the night again, and Shut that bloody Owl UP!" mustering his remaining energy he knocked Hedwig's cage on the floor and stormed out of the room, slamming the door and in his anger forgetting to lock it.
Harry shuddered, and crawled as best as he could over to Hedwig's cage. He opened it, and let her out. As she made her way out Harry could tell there was something wrong, and as he looked at Hedwig he could see that one of her wings had been broken. Tears came to his eyes and Hedwig hooted softly, analyzing Harry's injuries, and nudged him with her beak as if to say "are you all right." Harry pet Hedwig, who in turn nibbled on his finger and they sat there until morning, attempting to comfort one another. Harry's mind was torn between the practical means by which he could get Hedwig to a vet, and wondering why everyone he loved ended up getting hurt. They didn't need him as a friend, he only caused pain. Still lost in these thoughts and his attempts to aid Hedwig the sun began to rise.
It had only been two week since Harry had returned from Hogwarts after the trying ordeal of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Harry wasn't even supposed to participate, but a death eater, posing as a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, had put in his name, and enchanted the Goblet of Fire to accept him. Thus two Hogwarts champions had been chosen, unfortunately the Cup was a Port Key and took them to the Riddle manor where he had preformed a ritual to come back and spread evil once more. Cedric hadn't survived this encounter, and Harry still blamed himself. In his nightmares he continually relived the experience, relived Cedric's death, and Voldemort's rebirth. He hadn't slept properly for the whole month. He had large, dark, circles under his eyes. He tried to keep himself distracted, and would spend the fitful nights studying. He had finished his summer homework in the first week and a half of the break, and had spent the remainder of the time memorizing his school books. He had finished the Standard Book of Spells series one through four, his transfiguration texts and in the upcoming days, after the fatigue of landscaping all day and the pain of a beating at night he would finish One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi, as well as the transfiguration texts from the preceding four years, and was halfway through learning everything he could about potions. If Ron had seen him he would have told him to stop acting like Hermione. If Hermione had seen him she would have become worried that she had competition for the O.W.L.s As it was Harry was going to know everything that had ever been taught to them at Hogwarts plus whatever else was in the text books from every year before the middle of July, simply to keep his mind occupied on anything other than the events leading up to the summer.
As Harry noticed the light flittering through his window he realized he had to get ready to make the Dursley's breakfast. He attempted to stand up with his sore body, and nearly yelped. He looked at his swollen shin and sighed. He had to find away to walk at least semi normally. He realized he would need to bind his injuries up with until they would heal. Taking one of Dudley's old formal shirts, large enough to be a bed sheet, Harry was going to make them, however he needed scissors. Definitely not something the Durselys would give such a 'dangerous' boy. Then he remembered, Sirius's pocket knife and pulled it out from its hiding space in the floorboards. He stepped on the shirt with his one good leg, wincing he pulled on it with his teeth, and with his one good arm started to make strips out of the cloth to use as bandages. He then tried to set his leg the best he could and wrapped the swollen injured leg as best he cold while gritting his teeth against the pain in his chest and elbow as he bent down. He did several rounds before he felt it was good enough, immobilized his elbow, and looked down at his chest, noticing the broken ribs there, remembering the way he had been bandaged at school he attempted to do something there as well, but under the circumstances he did not feel much better off. The sun had fully risen by this point, and Harry was eager to let Hedwig out of the house before the Dursley's awoke. Setting his mind against the pain he stood and dressed. He avoided the mirror because he did not want to know how bad he looked, and was thankful for once that Dudley's clothing was so large, it hid the bandaging nicely underneath. He then looked over at Hedwig, and she hopped up onto the bed. Harry used his good arm to pick her up, and urged her to sit on his shoulder. He walked out the door to his room, slightly suprized that it wasn't locked, and stumbled down the stairs talking to Hedwig the whole time, telling her to get away from the Dursleys. To get help for herself, but keep other's from worrying about him, and to travel at night so that no one thought strangely of her. Hedwig understood what he was trying so urgently to let her know, and she hooted softly in his ear as he opened the door and let her out. In his mind he kept hopeing that she would be fine.
Harry hobbled to the kitchen. He put together the ingredients for the Dursley's breakfast. Dudley was on a diet again this summer. During the school year, under the school nurse's watchful eye, Dudley had lost 40 kilos, and were he to dress in black and white he was still large enough to be mistaken for a slightly smaller killer whale. Harry's stomach growled as he put the various vegetables in the jucer. The thick green result was then cut with apple juce and poured into three glasses. As a show of solidarity all members of the Dursely family were enduring the diet together. This meant that Harry was given even less, so as to make Dudikins feel better. Harry didn't mind not getting the green sludge that much, and after the first few days the hunger pains subsided, though he was becoming painfully thin as a result of not eating. Harry cut up two grapefruits, and sectioned them. Putting one at each place on the table. He then cleaned up and put everything away, and sat at his place at the table as the Dursleys came down for breakfast, hoping that Uncle Vernon had forgotten the events of the night before.
All throughout the wizarding world people began to wake. It was going to be a good day for Severus Snape. Dumbledore had called together the people who had worked together to fight the Dark fourteen years ago, and they were going to meet today. Severus was looking forward to this. He, being a former Death Eater, wanted to end the reign of Lord Voldemort forever. However he, like all the other order members, woke up worried. However, he didn't shrug it off to nerves like everyone else. He knew something was wrong, but couldn't pin point it. He had a dull ache in his arm, his left elbow, right above where the dark mark was, and a pain in his chest, but this was nothing like the call. It was a curious new feeling and Severus didn't like it. As he stood up to get out of bed and figure it all out he had the same dull ache in his shin. Looking for a bruise yet seeing nothing he suddenly recalled a dream he had had the night before. He was in a barren room, almost unsuitable for habitation, yet he had the distinct feeling that he lived there and large purple muggle, yes it was definitely a muggle, was screaming at him and beating him. 'Why didn't I use magic?' he thought to himself as he remembered more, the entire time he thought he deserved the beating. 'Well this is nonsense' he told himself, and pushed the memory out of his mind. It was absolutely ridiculous to think about. Ignoring the pain in his shin as a figment of his imagination he got out of bed and went to the closet. When he heard his mirror snicker. Turning around he saw himself dressed as a grandmother and nearly fainted. 'What the?' he thought to himself, peering at the image. After a few minutes he went and dressed and strode out of his room robes billowing behind him. He had a meeting with Dumbledore today and he was not going to be late because he had a stupid dream, or a stupid hallucination in front of a mirror.
"Mum Harry has a larger piece of Grapefruit than I did!" Dudley whined. Harry mentally rolled his eyes, careful not to show any emotion to the Dursleys. Vernon threw down his paper, told Dudley to take Harry's breakfast and stood up grabbing Harry by the back of the shirt and yanking him into the livingroom. "Do you think you deserve that? You selfish little prat!" he bellowed, his anger once again overcoming him. "Do you have Any IDEA how much we do for you?" He screamed "You are Ungrateful, after all we have done for YOU!" and proceeded to slap Harry. "From now on you will eat only what I specifically hand you." He spluttered, and grabbed Harry by the neck, lifting him up and then dropped him in his rage growling "You, boy, will have many chores this summer, it is the least you can do concidering everything we've given you. Don't even think about getting out of them." And with that he shoved Harry into the cupboard under the stairs, locking the door. Through the grate he finished by saying "you will stay in that cupboard, and you will bring your things down when I see fit!"
Harry coughed sharply after inhaling dust, only to make his ribs ache more. Every movement was echoed in reverberations of pain. He sat as still as possible, not bothering to turn on the light or attempt to get out. As he sat there he kept telling himself that he deserved much worse than this, he was a murderer, and even this was nothing compared to the cruatious curse. Even as he did a part of him was weeping. Wishing he was with his parents, that he had a family that cared about him. Then he thought about Ron and Hermione, his two best friends. He thought about what they were doing this summer, and became jealous of them. Wild thoughts started running through his head, 'Why didn't he have a family? Why did he have to loose them before he knew love? Why did he have to face Voldemort? And why did Cedric have to die?
As these thoughts continued to prey the Dursleys had finished their breakfast and Vernon was thinking about what chores he could make the boy do. Petunia had been complaining that the other women had nicer gardens. Upon consideration Vernon decided that the boy's task would be to build a small pond in the garden, and plant it, so that it looked like one of those gardening magazines, fit with a fountain and all. Perfect work for that idiotic boy, hard manual labour, and even better, something that Vernon would hate to do. Grinning he went to the garage and got out a shovel and a decrepit wheelbarrow. Then he went and opened the cupboard under the stairs. He was surprised to see that it was still dark and thought 'that miserable boy is wallowing, he is obviously up to no good' and growled "get up boy! You are going to be doing some landscaping" and then chuckled to himself. Harry was pulled out of his thoughts but couldn't get up, his numerous injuries prevented it. 'What a Lazy Git' thought Vernon, who grabbed him by the injured arm and pulled him to his feet. "Boy, you will do as I say." He commanded and dragged poor Harry out to the garden. Meanwhile Harry's mind kept asking why.
"You will make your Aunt Petunia's garden look nicer than the neighbors ." He bellowed at Harry. Harry nodded. Vernon continued and shoved a picture from a gardening magazine into Harry's hand. "Do you see this? Dig a pond here. I am going to get the parts to a fountain that you will install and the plants." He continued. "And there will be NO funny stuff while I am out. And you had better not try and weasel your way out of this." Harry simply nodded again. "I will have Dudly watch you, and if he sees any of that funny business. Or if he catches you trying to send a letter…" he threatened but was cut off by Harry.
"You don't have to worry. I will follow your instructions" said Harry, tonelessly. Uncle Vernon looked him in the eyes and spat out one last 'you better be good, boy' before he went into the house. Luckily for Harry, Dudley was inside playing with some new game he had gotten, and didn't want to be bothered to sit outside. At least he didn't have to deal with Dudley. He sighed and picked up the shovel, pondering how to go about the pond, looked at the picture, and then began digging. It was slow work as he didn't have full use of his body. Every movement caused him pain. As the pond's shape begain to form Harry was becoming more and more nauseous as every injury throbbed in protest. He stopped as it over came him, and leaned against the shovel as a dry heave wracked his body. He bitterly thought to himself 'well, good thing I didn't have breakfast, I might have gotten in trouble for littering the garden' and sighed. He went back to work, and despite the pain he found it a good distraction as it kept his mind off of the horrible events that ended the school year. A tear slowly trickled down his cheek as he thought about the past month, about all that had happened, and hoped Hedwig would be okay.
Just then Vernon got back to see Harry standing, leaning against the shovel. He immediately became angry, thought to himself 'that worthless git is being lazy just because I'm not around' and was about to go over to him and begin shouting, but as he walked closer he began to see the dark circles under his eyes, and their haunting. He slowed as a voice in his head tried to tell him that Harry was just a boy, and that he wasn't well, but the years of blind hatred he had built up won, and the voice only furthered his hatred. How could he be weak and pity one of them? He regained his air of hostility and approached the boy. His footsteps made the ground shake (he was quite a large man) and Harry looked up. "How do you like this, Uncle Vernon" he asked coolly, not wanting the angry man to see his pain. "I think this looks a bit like the picture." Vernon was taken aback as he saw that the shape was identical, and there was really nothing he could complain about. "It isn't deep enough, I know, I apologize, but I was waiting to see the fountain instructions" Harry continued with an inhumanly cool voice. This mesmerized Vernon, and he again began to wonder what had changed in the boy. Not knowing what to do Vernon became angry again. He told the boy to keep digging and that the fountain parts would be delivered later in the day, as would all the flowers. Harry smiled, however this wasn't the cheerful disarming smile that those that knew him recognized. It was cold, if Harry himself had seen it he would have been horrified, it sent a shiver up Vernon's spine causing him to retreat indoors, but not before he bellowed out one half-hearted "get back to work boy."
Harry for lack of other distraction threw himself into digging the pond. His entire body was protesting, his stomach growling, his muscles throbbing, and his injuries sending piercing pain throughout his system. He knew he could no longer continue, yet he decided that this was 'good training for enduring painful curses' and that he 'deserved this.' The hole was nearly two meters deep anyway. Unsure how he was going to get out, he sat in the bottom, hoping that no one would come out to look for him. He settled into the dirt, and attempted to find a comfortable position as he fell into a dreamless sleep. He woke up to Uncle Vernon's yelling. He slowly got to his feet, attempted to align his aching body, and pulled it, protesting, out of the hole. He straigtened himself not wanting to show any weakness to his relatives, and walked toward the house. As he approached he heard his Uncle shout "you will not come indoors that dirty boy, go spray yourself off with the hose." And with that his uncle threw an old, stained towel, at Harry.
The cold water felt like ice, and made his body begin to shiver. The already overworked muscles could hardly withstand the onslaught. With water streaming down and forming a muddy puddle he tried his best to remain perfectly still. When he felt clean enough to not invoke the wrath of Uncle Vernon upon entering the house he tried his best to stop dripping. He didn't want to take off the sopping clothing as he didn't want the Dursley's to see his bandages. As he waited for the clothing to dry he sat in the waining sunlight and pondered the summer ahead of him. He trudged inside as the streetlamps flickered to life and went up stairs to where his room was. He changed his clothes, leaving the cool wet bandages to reduce the swelling until that night, and looked around. He bundled all of his school things under the invisibility cloak, as he had done at the beginning of the summer, and balanced them on his good arm. He then put a few articles of clothing on top, and put everything he could find useful from the barren room in Hedwig's cage and got ready to move back into the cupboard where his trunk and broom had been put at the beginning of the summer. 'At least the Dursleys are too dim to remember to move it' Harry thought to himself as he went down the stairs.
He sank down into the musty mattress that had been his bed for the ten years before he went to Hogwarts and was thankful that the Dursleys had been too lazy to move it, even if it was painfully too small. His stomach growled and his body ached but at least he was being left alone. At this thought a soft smile spread on his lips and he was about to drift off to sleep when he heard Uncle Vernon bellow "Boy, Where is that Blasted Bird of Yours?" "We are taking her to the Vet to have her Wings Clipped." Horrified Harry sat up too quickly, causing searing pain to run through his nerves. As he stood unsteadily Uncle Vernon opened the door to the cupboard and peered inside. "I expect you to answer when I call you" he growled and reached out to grab Harry. Harry wriggled away, only to fall on the floor. Vernon kicked him and pulled him back up. "I asked, where is that Bird!"
"She's Gone away from scum like you!" Harry said very quietly. "She didn't deserve the way you treat us." He continued despite the warning of Vernon's colour changing face. "I understand why I deserve this, why you hate me so. But She had nothing to do with it. You can't hurt her anymore, she's gone!" Harry finished as he clawed at Vernon to get him to put him down. However, his Uncle had different plans, and his deep puce countenance was a dead indicator of the temper raging within.
"What do you mean, Gone? Did you send her to get help from other little freaks?" he roared. "Your kind won't be able to help you when I am done." He continued. "How stupid you are, boy." And with that he beat Harry within an inch of his life. For the next few days Harry was too injured, exhausted and depressed to do anything and allowed his Uncle to grab him, and kick him. At night Vernon would come home drunk from the pub ad do far more than simply beat him, but Harry was to far gone to fight he allowed him to rant on and on about how wicked his kind was, and how the world would be better without them. How no one was even bothering to save the poor boy. How Harry was a good little whore, how he had tempted Vernon to punish him for his shamless flirting, how he used magic to attract Vernon, to force him into fucking his nephew, how Harry was a perverted little freak. It didn't matter what his excuse for hurting the Harry was, he used it as an outlet for the frustration that came with being Vernon Dursley. Every time Vernon persued the pastimes of beatings and rape Harry felt the magic within him build. He felt it like a tidal wave, and every time he focused this energy to return to him, and not to hurt anyone. He would always try and give himself a focus, stopping the pain with humour, or happy things, completely unrelated. Whether they were the musings of his imagination or actual events it didn't matter as long as it kept him from remembering the pain of his current situation. Usually he ended up thinking about Nevill and the bogart, and he began to think up creative ways to make the potions master act. At the end he was always exhausted, but he never managed to sleep, so he spent the nights studying. What Harry didn't realize is that every time he had been beaten and thought of funny ways to dress up Snape or things for him to do, Snape woke up seeing the whole thing as a nightmare, and every mirror he stood in front of would depict not Snape as he was, but Snape as he had Imagined. Thus Professor Snape was beginning to think he was going crazy.
On the fifth day, as the sun was beginning its decent through the far horizon and the sky became a mixture of red, gold and purple Harry was awakened by a hyperactive owl flitting around in the hole. As Harry reached his hand out to grab it he winced and could move no further. Hoping Pigwigen, Ron's owl, would finally run out of energy he sat back and watched his antics amusedly. As the owl noticed he wasn't going to get him, he snapped out of his victory dance to sit on Harry's knee as he untied the letter. Puffing out his chest Pig was about to burst with pride at his successful mission. Harry told him to leave as soon as possible, not wanting his Uncle to find him with an owl, let alone letters, he told pig to scat. A bit annoyed the tiny little owl got up and flew out of the hole, leaving Harry with the letter.
Dear Harry,
How are the muggles treating you? I asked mum if we can have you stay, and she said that she would look into it. She sent a letter to Dumbledore. I'll let you know when we get a reply. Any reason you haven't replied to any of my or Hermione's letters? We miss you already!! Well at least I do, Can you believe Hermione is off to see Vicky in Bulgaria? Ugh! What does she see in that prat?
Write soon,
Ron
p.s. Ginny wanted me to include this letter (I hope you don't mind)
Harry rolled his eyes at Ron's letter, it was so typical. Spellotaped at the bottom of his letter was a small envelope with Harry in fluid writing on the front. Groaning, and remembering the valentine she had sent him in second year, he carefully opened it hoping it wouldn't sing.
Dear Harry,
I asked Ron how you were doing, after everything, and he said he hadn't heard from you.. After all you went through you need your friends around, I know I'm just Ron's little sister, but for once I think you could learn from my mistakes, don't push your friends away. You need people that care about you, but instead all you have are those horrid muggles. Are they treating you alright? I doubt it. I can't imagine what I would have done after the Chamber… if I didn't have people who loved me around. Let me know if you need to be rescued. We'll figure out some way, even if Dumbledore doesn't agree, and I have to flirt with that horrible boy Fred and George joking that I'll marry. Yuck!
You have to realize that what happened to Cedric wasn't your fault. I know that everyone can tell you this a million times and you wont believe it. I still blame myself for the Basilisk from first year. If it weren't for you I don't know what would have happened then…
Everyone forgave me. " It wasn't my fault". I didn't know that Tom was…was Voldemort. I didn't know that the diary would open the chamber. Just like you had no way of knowing that the cup was a port-key; you didn't know you were taking Cedric into danger. You can not feel responsible for everything that Voldemort does.
At this point Harry wiped back a tear, and bit down on his quivering lip. He could feel the walls he had erected begin to crumble as the powerful waves of emotion crashed upon them.
Ronikins can be… self centred some times. He only sees his problems—Hermione is going to go to Bulgaria with Viktor rather than spend the summer at the burrow in his arms… And I'm sure Hermione is distracted. If you feel like you need someone around to write to, I am always here for you. I know I'm just 'Ron's little sister' but I can relate to the guilt that you are feeling, and I do care about you.
Always yours,
Virginia
As Harry finished reading the letter from Ginny another tear trickled down his cheek. She had proven that the world was not cold and uncaring. The barriers that Harry had fortified to keep his emotions in check were beginning to crumble as the waves of emotion began to overtake it. However this could be dangerous as Harry knew he was in for his nightly beating, and he fought the sobs as he refortified the walls and distracted himself with an image of Professor Snape smiling and laughing giving Gryffindor points while singing his praises. He chuckled to himself and wondered when Ginny had grown up. He began to kick himself for not paying more attention to her as he slowly climbed out of the hole. Tomorrow he would install the fountain. The digging was done, and none to soon.
Hedwig had spent her days walking down the street. She wasn't sure where she was going as she was not accustomed to her current perspective. As she wandered she saw another owl drop off a parcel, powerless to catch up with this owl she made her way to the front porch of the house, unable to go any further she fell asleep. When she next awoke she noticed that there was no one in the house, aside from a few cats. However, she had no energy to continue, she hadn't eaten much when she was at the Dursly's house and had eaten nothing since. Unable to fly she couldn't hunt properly. She resigned herself to wait until the occupant of the house returned. It wouldn't be long.