{*Tsuzuki-chan walks out on stage again and holds up a sign: "Welcome
again, minna-san! Back for more, ne? You're all masochistic! Well, I'm
sadistic, so it's a good match. ANYWAYS, seeing that Gravi, YnM, and GW
weren't enough, I have decided to go into the world of Trigun! Oh, yes,
hahaha...once I get to watch all of Fruits Basket, Tenshi ni Narumon, and
Saiyuki, I'll victimize them as well! HAHAHA! Laugh with me now!
Er...anyways. I'll give the language warning, along with the yaoi one,
oh...and there's VIOLENCE. Yippee. Play/script form. Please forgive my
rusty knowlege of Trigun Maximium. Well, on with the freak show!" Tsuzuki-
chan runs off *}
Stroy Time with Knives-sama and Friends (A TV Special)!!! by Tsuzuki-chan (Seiichiro Tatsumi)
((The typical pre-school show music starts playing to opening of the show. Very Mr. Rodger's-esque. After the opening, the screen fades into what appears to be the living room of a house, full of little kids sitting around a chair. No one is in the chair yet, but Wolfwood walks out. His smile is very forced, and he's sweating very hard. Plus he's sporting a nasty bruise on his forehead. He stands infront of the crowd of kids and speaks.))
WOLFWOOD: Hello, kids! KIDS: Hello, Mr. Wolfwood! WOLFWOOD: Knives and his ((pause)) "special" helper will be out in a minute...But, before they do, I-- KID 1: Mr. Wolfwood!!! ((raising hand)) WOLFWOOD: Yeah...What's your question...((trying to read kid's name tag))...uh, Timmy? KID 1: Where did ya get your bruise???? WOLFWOOD: Ehh...How do I put this...Um, eh heh heh heh...((moaning and grunting heard from inside a room in the house)) Mr. Wolfwood interupted Knives while he was playing with his "special" friend.... KID 1: What game were they playing??? KID 2: Can we play, Mr. Wolfwood??? KIDS: Let's play Knives-sama's game!!! WOLFWOOD: Hell no!!! Er, no....kids....heh heh heh ((puts hand behind neck and starts to blush))...they're playing um, "grown up" games. ((under breath)) Like I want to do, but nooo... I have to wait for Knives and his blue-haired bitch. ((Normal speaking level)) Well, let's go to Leonof the Puppetmaster with crafts!!!
((All the kids cheer and are generally hyper. They all crowd around Leonof, who is making sock puppets with Caine the Longshot. Caine manages to smile, despite that screwed up mask/face covering, and waves at the kids and the camera. They go through the steps without speaking to eachother, and, more importantly, the kids. Wolfwood just sighed and shakes his head the entire time, and when Leonof and Caine were done, he led the kids back over to the chair.))
((The kids gathered around the chair, which was now occupied by Knives, who is smiling in his usual way. Legato is standing behind him, looking kind of like an SS officer. Legato is also in a very uncharacteristic bunny costume.))
LEGATO: ((whispering)) Master...Why must I wear this? KNIVES: ((whispering)) Chapel says that the spikes and the skull are a tad bit intimidating for the kids. We're only doing this to raise funds for bullets and such for killing the human race, except you, sex-kitten. Plus, you'll have to get out of that hot...sweaty....((closes eyes)) ((slightly above normal speaking level)) Mmmm....oh, yes....((Drooling)) KIDS: Knives??? What's wrong??? LEGATO: You will address him as "Master" or "Knives-sama"!!! WOLFWOOD: ((Off camera)) ((Barely audible)) Yeah, that's what I heard you moaning a second ago. LEGATO: Silence, Chapel! You're the one that made me dress like this! KNIVES: ((Clears throat)) ((EXTREMELY forced smile)) Well, anyways, time for the story! I'll have help from Legato, too! KIDS: Yay!!! LEGATO: Shut up, or I shall start sacrificing you all to my Master! KIDS: ((Silent)) LEGATO: Thank you. KNIVES: ((whispering)) Thank you, sweetie. ((winks at Legato)) ((Normal speaking level)) Er, once upon a time, as all these things start out like this, there were....uh....two, no, three,uh.., some bunnies. Two bunnies were twins named....um, V-chan and K-chan. The other bunny wasn't really a bunny, but it should have been. It was a....((whispers to Legato)) What's a good not-bunny creature that could be cute like a bunny? LEGATO: ((pause)) ((thinking)) ((whispering)) A chinchilla? KNIVES: ((whispering)) What in the hell is a chinchilla? LEGATO: ((whispering)) The fuck if I know. KNIVES: Well....continuing... The other bunny wasn't a bunny at all, but he should have been. He was a chinchilla. LEGATO: And before you ask what a chinchilla is, we don't know. And, yes, I can read your minds. No, Timmy, I'm not really a bunny. I'm a grown man. KNIVES: If any of you insult him, you will die. KIDS: Yes, Knives-sama.... KNIVES: ((cheerfully)) Good! So, one day, V-chan left K-chan! That made K-chan very sad because V-chan left him to go to some RATS! KIDS: Eeeewwww.... KNIVES: ((chuckles evilly)) ((starting to get kind of into it)) Yes...a lot of rats. A PLANET of rats. But K-chan went to find rats that didn't agree with V-chan's stupid "love & peace" speeches. But then, K-chan found the prettiest creature ever... KIDS: Ooooooh....
((Suddenly, the doors fly open and Elendira the Crimsonnail walks in and stands next to Legato))
LEGATO: ((Glare of Death)) Elendira... ELENDIRA: O ho ho ho!!! The prettiest creature that K-chan saw was a flying squirrel named E-chan!!! LEGATO: Was not! ELENDIRA: Was too! KNIVES: ((mumbles)) I thought I was telling the story...((sniffs)) LEGATO: Let Knives-sama continue. ELENDIRA: Okay! KNIVES: Well, the creature was a chinchilla named L-chan! LEGATO: Told you, biaotch! ELENDIA: Hand licker. LEGATO: Nuriko-wannabe. ELENDIRA: Uni-bang reject. LEGATO: Flying slut. ELENDIRA: "Look, Ma, no hands" eater! LEGATO: Oh, that's low! Time to die, this ain't the manga!!! I'm not in a stupid box!!! WOLFWOOD: ((From off-camera)) Take it out side, you pussies!
((Legato and Elendira glare at eachother, then walk outside))
KNIVES: Well, K-chan met L-chan. They had many adventures together. Finally, K-chan met with V-chan again! KIDS: Yay!!! KNIVES: K-chan tried to tell V-chan to leave those rats alone, but V-chan wouldn't listen! WOLFWOOD: ((Off-camera)) This is about to get graphic...I know it... KNIVES: Be quiet, Chapel. So, K-chan had to punish V-chan! K-chan fought V-chan for a long time, until K-chan made V-chan lose his left paw! KIDS: ((some gasp, others cry)) WOLFWOOD: Oh, dear lord.... KNIVES: V-chan ran away from K-chan, but K-chan still had his left paw! As a gift-- WOLFWOOD: ((Off-camera)) ((Rather loud)) I think I need to vomit... KNIVES: ((Clears throat)) As a gift, he rips off L-chan paw, and puts of V- chan paw! K-chan then realized he ripped off the wrong paw on L-chan! He then quickly corrected that...And never told L-chan about that...eh he he he...AND if the chipmunk named C-chan told L-chan about that, C-chan wouldn't feel too good afterwards... WOLFWOOD: ((Off-camera)) NO PROBLEM WITH THAT!!! KNIVES: So... KIDS: ((ALL of them are crying))
((Legato walks back in, smiling))
LEGATO: All of the kids are crying. I told them all to SHUT UP!!! KIDS: ((Two or three keep crying)) LEGATO: Aw, screw it. This bunny suit iches. I wanna get naked. KNIVES: Yes, finally!!! Let's go!!!
((Knives and Legato leave the living room to go back to the room they were in before))
WOLFWOOD: ((walks on camera)) What a trainwreak... I think I need some Vash right about now. Knives and his blue-haired whore inspired me.
((Wolfwood walks out the door))
((Caine the Longshot comes back out with sock puppets made for all the kids. All the kids cheer and hug him))
((the camera fades out))
__--*--__
Stroy Time with Knives-sama and Friends (A TV Special)!!! by Tsuzuki-chan (Seiichiro Tatsumi)
((The typical pre-school show music starts playing to opening of the show. Very Mr. Rodger's-esque. After the opening, the screen fades into what appears to be the living room of a house, full of little kids sitting around a chair. No one is in the chair yet, but Wolfwood walks out. His smile is very forced, and he's sweating very hard. Plus he's sporting a nasty bruise on his forehead. He stands infront of the crowd of kids and speaks.))
WOLFWOOD: Hello, kids! KIDS: Hello, Mr. Wolfwood! WOLFWOOD: Knives and his ((pause)) "special" helper will be out in a minute...But, before they do, I-- KID 1: Mr. Wolfwood!!! ((raising hand)) WOLFWOOD: Yeah...What's your question...((trying to read kid's name tag))...uh, Timmy? KID 1: Where did ya get your bruise???? WOLFWOOD: Ehh...How do I put this...Um, eh heh heh heh...((moaning and grunting heard from inside a room in the house)) Mr. Wolfwood interupted Knives while he was playing with his "special" friend.... KID 1: What game were they playing??? KID 2: Can we play, Mr. Wolfwood??? KIDS: Let's play Knives-sama's game!!! WOLFWOOD: Hell no!!! Er, no....kids....heh heh heh ((puts hand behind neck and starts to blush))...they're playing um, "grown up" games. ((under breath)) Like I want to do, but nooo... I have to wait for Knives and his blue-haired bitch. ((Normal speaking level)) Well, let's go to Leonof the Puppetmaster with crafts!!!
((All the kids cheer and are generally hyper. They all crowd around Leonof, who is making sock puppets with Caine the Longshot. Caine manages to smile, despite that screwed up mask/face covering, and waves at the kids and the camera. They go through the steps without speaking to eachother, and, more importantly, the kids. Wolfwood just sighed and shakes his head the entire time, and when Leonof and Caine were done, he led the kids back over to the chair.))
((The kids gathered around the chair, which was now occupied by Knives, who is smiling in his usual way. Legato is standing behind him, looking kind of like an SS officer. Legato is also in a very uncharacteristic bunny costume.))
LEGATO: ((whispering)) Master...Why must I wear this? KNIVES: ((whispering)) Chapel says that the spikes and the skull are a tad bit intimidating for the kids. We're only doing this to raise funds for bullets and such for killing the human race, except you, sex-kitten. Plus, you'll have to get out of that hot...sweaty....((closes eyes)) ((slightly above normal speaking level)) Mmmm....oh, yes....((Drooling)) KIDS: Knives??? What's wrong??? LEGATO: You will address him as "Master" or "Knives-sama"!!! WOLFWOOD: ((Off camera)) ((Barely audible)) Yeah, that's what I heard you moaning a second ago. LEGATO: Silence, Chapel! You're the one that made me dress like this! KNIVES: ((Clears throat)) ((EXTREMELY forced smile)) Well, anyways, time for the story! I'll have help from Legato, too! KIDS: Yay!!! LEGATO: Shut up, or I shall start sacrificing you all to my Master! KIDS: ((Silent)) LEGATO: Thank you. KNIVES: ((whispering)) Thank you, sweetie. ((winks at Legato)) ((Normal speaking level)) Er, once upon a time, as all these things start out like this, there were....uh....two, no, three,uh.., some bunnies. Two bunnies were twins named....um, V-chan and K-chan. The other bunny wasn't really a bunny, but it should have been. It was a....((whispers to Legato)) What's a good not-bunny creature that could be cute like a bunny? LEGATO: ((pause)) ((thinking)) ((whispering)) A chinchilla? KNIVES: ((whispering)) What in the hell is a chinchilla? LEGATO: ((whispering)) The fuck if I know. KNIVES: Well....continuing... The other bunny wasn't a bunny at all, but he should have been. He was a chinchilla. LEGATO: And before you ask what a chinchilla is, we don't know. And, yes, I can read your minds. No, Timmy, I'm not really a bunny. I'm a grown man. KNIVES: If any of you insult him, you will die. KIDS: Yes, Knives-sama.... KNIVES: ((cheerfully)) Good! So, one day, V-chan left K-chan! That made K-chan very sad because V-chan left him to go to some RATS! KIDS: Eeeewwww.... KNIVES: ((chuckles evilly)) ((starting to get kind of into it)) Yes...a lot of rats. A PLANET of rats. But K-chan went to find rats that didn't agree with V-chan's stupid "love & peace" speeches. But then, K-chan found the prettiest creature ever... KIDS: Ooooooh....
((Suddenly, the doors fly open and Elendira the Crimsonnail walks in and stands next to Legato))
LEGATO: ((Glare of Death)) Elendira... ELENDIRA: O ho ho ho!!! The prettiest creature that K-chan saw was a flying squirrel named E-chan!!! LEGATO: Was not! ELENDIRA: Was too! KNIVES: ((mumbles)) I thought I was telling the story...((sniffs)) LEGATO: Let Knives-sama continue. ELENDIRA: Okay! KNIVES: Well, the creature was a chinchilla named L-chan! LEGATO: Told you, biaotch! ELENDIA: Hand licker. LEGATO: Nuriko-wannabe. ELENDIRA: Uni-bang reject. LEGATO: Flying slut. ELENDIRA: "Look, Ma, no hands" eater! LEGATO: Oh, that's low! Time to die, this ain't the manga!!! I'm not in a stupid box!!! WOLFWOOD: ((From off-camera)) Take it out side, you pussies!
((Legato and Elendira glare at eachother, then walk outside))
KNIVES: Well, K-chan met L-chan. They had many adventures together. Finally, K-chan met with V-chan again! KIDS: Yay!!! KNIVES: K-chan tried to tell V-chan to leave those rats alone, but V-chan wouldn't listen! WOLFWOOD: ((Off-camera)) This is about to get graphic...I know it... KNIVES: Be quiet, Chapel. So, K-chan had to punish V-chan! K-chan fought V-chan for a long time, until K-chan made V-chan lose his left paw! KIDS: ((some gasp, others cry)) WOLFWOOD: Oh, dear lord.... KNIVES: V-chan ran away from K-chan, but K-chan still had his left paw! As a gift-- WOLFWOOD: ((Off-camera)) ((Rather loud)) I think I need to vomit... KNIVES: ((Clears throat)) As a gift, he rips off L-chan paw, and puts of V- chan paw! K-chan then realized he ripped off the wrong paw on L-chan! He then quickly corrected that...And never told L-chan about that...eh he he he...AND if the chipmunk named C-chan told L-chan about that, C-chan wouldn't feel too good afterwards... WOLFWOOD: ((Off-camera)) NO PROBLEM WITH THAT!!! KNIVES: So... KIDS: ((ALL of them are crying))
((Legato walks back in, smiling))
LEGATO: All of the kids are crying. I told them all to SHUT UP!!! KIDS: ((Two or three keep crying)) LEGATO: Aw, screw it. This bunny suit iches. I wanna get naked. KNIVES: Yes, finally!!! Let's go!!!
((Knives and Legato leave the living room to go back to the room they were in before))
WOLFWOOD: ((walks on camera)) What a trainwreak... I think I need some Vash right about now. Knives and his blue-haired whore inspired me.
((Wolfwood walks out the door))
((Caine the Longshot comes back out with sock puppets made for all the kids. All the kids cheer and hug him))
((the camera fades out))
__--*--__