Disclaimer: No, I don't own Cowboy Bebop, but I wouldn't mind owning Spike
-_-'. An no, I don't own Michelle Branch's song ' Goodbye to you', though I
wish I did....
~ Just a reminder. This chapter is a song fic thingy (whatever it's called, lol). Mostly from Faye's point of view. Beautiful lyrics written by the astonishing Michelle Branch.~
Unwanted: A Cowboy Bebop Fanfic
By: Katie S.
Rated: Pg-13
Category: Romance/ Drama
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 5: Goodbye to you
~ Of all the things I believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by. ~
It had been three months since she had left, and she wasn't intending on going back. But by the time she had left, she had finally realized what she was doing, and it made her heart ache even more. But even so, she wouldn't let it ache for him. Her pain was for the fact that she had to start all over again...
~ I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing
Are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend ~
Faye tilted her head back, letting the sinful contents in her glass burn down her throat. She cringed at the taste, but motioned for another glass. The bartender gave her a disbelieving look, but continued to pour her another shot of Vodka. She hastily grasped the glass, slamming another shot down her throat.
By now, she had lost count of the amount of alcohol she had taken in, but she knew it was alot, considering the way her vison was blurring intensely.
~ Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to ~
Faye limply let her head rest on the counter, letting her eyes shut momentarily. She tightned her fists, and continued to beat her head on the counter, muttering devoid obscenities to herself. The bartender cocked his head towards her and shot her a cold glare.
" Excuse me, M'am?" He poked her slightly in the arm, trying to get her attention. Faye lifted her head just enough to send him a helpless look.
" You need to have somebody pick you up, you look horrible..." His voice was a little too harsh..." Don't you have a boyfriend or somethin'?"
Faye stared at him and felt the tears welling in her eyes. She felt like total shit, and on top of that, she really didn't have anyone. She was all alone...
" Hello?" The man waved his hand in front of her face sarcastically.
" Yeah... d-don't you wurry 'bout it mistah, my surry ass is leavin'..." She was suddendly realzing how drunk she really was.
~ I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day
Without you
Closing my eyes
And you chase my thoughts away
To a place where
I am blinded by the light
But it's not right ~
Faye stumbled her way out of the bar, knocking out a few waitresses and giggling hysterically. A few people passing by shot her an arrogant glare, whispering cruel gossip to each other. But Faye simply ignored it, shuffling her tired form down the streets. She glanced up at the sky, admiring every little star glistening in the night sky. As she looked upon them, she started to wish she was as free as a little star, never having to worry about anything. But she knew life would never be that easy, especially for her.
Despite how drunk she was, she still had a minor idea of where she was going, and it hurt her so to even think about it. Her shity apartment was nothing anyone would ever wish for, but it was free of cost....
Well, sort of....
~ Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to ~
Mr. Jacobs was his name... And he was the shadiest man alive.
Faye had just arrived in Venus, with no where to go, and no money to stay anywhere. She had settled on wandering the streets, hoping to find some ray of hope, but she found Mr. Jacobs...
Sure he was a nice guy at first, but after she found out what he really wanted, she really felt trapped...
Trapped in world she wished she never would have gotten caught in. But she wouldn't go back, she promised her heart she wouldn't. And she wasn't about to let herself down...
He promised her he would let her stay in his apartments for free, but only if she would lend him her body whenever he wanted it.
Sure the old Faye would've disagreed, taking the man's life instead, but...
This was the new Faye. The broken Faye...
So there she was, selling herself like a whore, just to run away from her past. But why? Why would she let herself stoop that low... just for a new life? But was this a new life, or just a tattered reminiscence of her past?
~ And it hurts to want everything and
Nothing at the same time
I want what's yours
And I want what's mine
But I'm not giving in this time ~
She stumbled into her apartment, thankfully arriving unnoticed. She just wasn't in the mood to be groped by a heartless bastard.
She dragged her tired body towards her bed, and let her limp body collapse on to the dirty blankets below her. She glanced at her nightstand, setting her eyes on the photo of a familiar green-haired cowboy. She leaned in closer, gazing longingly at his chocolate eyes.
~ Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to ~
As she traced a meager finger along his slender figure, she felt a stray tear grazing her cheek. She furrowed her brows in disgust as she quickly wiped it away furiously. She told herself she wasn't going to cry over him, so she just wasn't going defy herself.
She grasped the photo tightly, giving it one last glance before she hastily crumbled it up, tossing it in the trash can.
She wasn't gonna let her future be subsided by him...
~ And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star ~
She glanced out at the auspicious stars one last time.
" Good-bye Spike Spiegal..."
~*~
Spike clutched the locket to his chest tautly. He could never forget that morning... That look on her face... The truth she spoke to him...
He didn't know what he missed more, her sparkling smile, or the fact that he let her leave him.
Why had he been so senseless? She was pouring her heart and soul out to him, but all he could think of was Julia.
He shakily fished a cigarrete out of his pocket, placing it in his mouth carelessly. He pulled a lighter out, letting the flame engulf the tiny stick of tobacco. He sighed hastily, inhaling as many fumes as he could.
Since she left, all he could do was sit in his room all day, drowning his thoughts in cigarette smoke. He felt as if his whole life had ended, and it confusd the hell out of him.
This way Faye he was talking about.
The stick in the mud. The rock in your shoe. The obstacle you were forever trying to rid yourself of.
But when she finally leaves... it's as if he's stopped breathing, living....
He tossed the cigarette on the ground, stomping on it furiously.
Why was she haunting him like this? It was like Julia all over again...
But no..
It was worse. He felt guilt, misery, and anguish. As if he had left his only hope behind selfishly. But why? They were never in love. They had merely bared their emotions to each other.
" SPIKE-PERSON!!! Jet-person says it's time for dinner!" Ed's screechy voice rung through Spike's hollow bedroom, startling the wondering cowboy.
" Yeah, whatever..." Spike mumbled aggravatedly, before burying his head back into his pillow.
" Spike! Get your sorry ass up!" Jet's deep voice was a lot more powerful, and it startled Spike even more.
" Jet, will you leave me alone damn it?!" Spike hurled a pillow towards Jet, missing his target miserably.
" I'm not gonna let you do the same thing you did with Julia! Now get your sorry ass up! I made bell peppers and beef!" Jet hissed, before angrily stomping down the hallway.
Spike groaned lightly, and shuffled his tired body out of his bedroom. The bright hallway lights pierced through his eyes, causing him to squint slightly.
" Spike-person is up!!" Ed recited cheerfully, circling around him, Ein trailing closely behind.
Spike scoffed at Ed and stumbled into the kitchen, pulling a chair out for himself.
" Nice to know you're alive..." Jet turned from the stove, and shot Spike a sarcastic glare.
Spike ignored Jet, and continued to stare blankly at the wall in front of him.
" So how long are you gonna put up with this?" Jet pryed, shoveling some food onto Spike's plate.
Spike continued to ignore Jet, and it was really starting to piss him off.
" Are you gonna answer me?!" Jet's voice boomed throughout the kitchen, startling a scurrying Ein.
" Whatever Jet..."
" I've had enough of your shit!" Jet reached out, grasping Spike's canary shirt tightly, " Save us all some grief and go find her!"
Spike glared at Jet, narrowing his eyes at him." It's not that easy..."
Jet released his grip on Spike, and chuckled softly." What happened to the old Spike? The determined Spike..."
" I don't know what you're talking about.. this is the real Spike..."
" You never cease to amaze me with your lies... We can all see right through you I hope you know..."
Spike was silent as he toyed with his food on his plate.
" Listen, I'm sure Ed can find her for you real easy..." Jet's voice was reassuring...
" WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!! I don't care about Faye! It's better with her gone!" Spike lied again...
Jet narrowed his eyes at Spike, " I know you'll come around some day..." And with that, he left Spike to gather his thoughts.
Spike sighed heavily, and pulled the golden locket out of his pocket, examining it closely. He opened it up, gazing at a younger version of Faye smiling brightly.
' I'm always here for you...'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Yay! I'm done! Minus the song, this is actually kinda a short chapter, but it just a chapter to show the emotions Spike and Faye are feeling. There will be more of the story in the next chapter! And don't forget to review! Thanx a bunch!
BTW, thank you kitten siren so much for understanding me. I'm glad to know there are other respectful authours out there.
~ Just a reminder. This chapter is a song fic thingy (whatever it's called, lol). Mostly from Faye's point of view. Beautiful lyrics written by the astonishing Michelle Branch.~
Unwanted: A Cowboy Bebop Fanfic
By: Katie S.
Rated: Pg-13
Category: Romance/ Drama
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 5: Goodbye to you
~ Of all the things I believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by. ~
It had been three months since she had left, and she wasn't intending on going back. But by the time she had left, she had finally realized what she was doing, and it made her heart ache even more. But even so, she wouldn't let it ache for him. Her pain was for the fact that she had to start all over again...
~ I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing
Are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend ~
Faye tilted her head back, letting the sinful contents in her glass burn down her throat. She cringed at the taste, but motioned for another glass. The bartender gave her a disbelieving look, but continued to pour her another shot of Vodka. She hastily grasped the glass, slamming another shot down her throat.
By now, she had lost count of the amount of alcohol she had taken in, but she knew it was alot, considering the way her vison was blurring intensely.
~ Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to ~
Faye limply let her head rest on the counter, letting her eyes shut momentarily. She tightned her fists, and continued to beat her head on the counter, muttering devoid obscenities to herself. The bartender cocked his head towards her and shot her a cold glare.
" Excuse me, M'am?" He poked her slightly in the arm, trying to get her attention. Faye lifted her head just enough to send him a helpless look.
" You need to have somebody pick you up, you look horrible..." His voice was a little too harsh..." Don't you have a boyfriend or somethin'?"
Faye stared at him and felt the tears welling in her eyes. She felt like total shit, and on top of that, she really didn't have anyone. She was all alone...
" Hello?" The man waved his hand in front of her face sarcastically.
" Yeah... d-don't you wurry 'bout it mistah, my surry ass is leavin'..." She was suddendly realzing how drunk she really was.
~ I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day
Without you
Closing my eyes
And you chase my thoughts away
To a place where
I am blinded by the light
But it's not right ~
Faye stumbled her way out of the bar, knocking out a few waitresses and giggling hysterically. A few people passing by shot her an arrogant glare, whispering cruel gossip to each other. But Faye simply ignored it, shuffling her tired form down the streets. She glanced up at the sky, admiring every little star glistening in the night sky. As she looked upon them, she started to wish she was as free as a little star, never having to worry about anything. But she knew life would never be that easy, especially for her.
Despite how drunk she was, she still had a minor idea of where she was going, and it hurt her so to even think about it. Her shity apartment was nothing anyone would ever wish for, but it was free of cost....
Well, sort of....
~ Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to ~
Mr. Jacobs was his name... And he was the shadiest man alive.
Faye had just arrived in Venus, with no where to go, and no money to stay anywhere. She had settled on wandering the streets, hoping to find some ray of hope, but she found Mr. Jacobs...
Sure he was a nice guy at first, but after she found out what he really wanted, she really felt trapped...
Trapped in world she wished she never would have gotten caught in. But she wouldn't go back, she promised her heart she wouldn't. And she wasn't about to let herself down...
He promised her he would let her stay in his apartments for free, but only if she would lend him her body whenever he wanted it.
Sure the old Faye would've disagreed, taking the man's life instead, but...
This was the new Faye. The broken Faye...
So there she was, selling herself like a whore, just to run away from her past. But why? Why would she let herself stoop that low... just for a new life? But was this a new life, or just a tattered reminiscence of her past?
~ And it hurts to want everything and
Nothing at the same time
I want what's yours
And I want what's mine
But I'm not giving in this time ~
She stumbled into her apartment, thankfully arriving unnoticed. She just wasn't in the mood to be groped by a heartless bastard.
She dragged her tired body towards her bed, and let her limp body collapse on to the dirty blankets below her. She glanced at her nightstand, setting her eyes on the photo of a familiar green-haired cowboy. She leaned in closer, gazing longingly at his chocolate eyes.
~ Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to ~
As she traced a meager finger along his slender figure, she felt a stray tear grazing her cheek. She furrowed her brows in disgust as she quickly wiped it away furiously. She told herself she wasn't going to cry over him, so she just wasn't going defy herself.
She grasped the photo tightly, giving it one last glance before she hastily crumbled it up, tossing it in the trash can.
She wasn't gonna let her future be subsided by him...
~ And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star ~
She glanced out at the auspicious stars one last time.
" Good-bye Spike Spiegal..."
~*~
Spike clutched the locket to his chest tautly. He could never forget that morning... That look on her face... The truth she spoke to him...
He didn't know what he missed more, her sparkling smile, or the fact that he let her leave him.
Why had he been so senseless? She was pouring her heart and soul out to him, but all he could think of was Julia.
He shakily fished a cigarrete out of his pocket, placing it in his mouth carelessly. He pulled a lighter out, letting the flame engulf the tiny stick of tobacco. He sighed hastily, inhaling as many fumes as he could.
Since she left, all he could do was sit in his room all day, drowning his thoughts in cigarette smoke. He felt as if his whole life had ended, and it confusd the hell out of him.
This way Faye he was talking about.
The stick in the mud. The rock in your shoe. The obstacle you were forever trying to rid yourself of.
But when she finally leaves... it's as if he's stopped breathing, living....
He tossed the cigarette on the ground, stomping on it furiously.
Why was she haunting him like this? It was like Julia all over again...
But no..
It was worse. He felt guilt, misery, and anguish. As if he had left his only hope behind selfishly. But why? They were never in love. They had merely bared their emotions to each other.
" SPIKE-PERSON!!! Jet-person says it's time for dinner!" Ed's screechy voice rung through Spike's hollow bedroom, startling the wondering cowboy.
" Yeah, whatever..." Spike mumbled aggravatedly, before burying his head back into his pillow.
" Spike! Get your sorry ass up!" Jet's deep voice was a lot more powerful, and it startled Spike even more.
" Jet, will you leave me alone damn it?!" Spike hurled a pillow towards Jet, missing his target miserably.
" I'm not gonna let you do the same thing you did with Julia! Now get your sorry ass up! I made bell peppers and beef!" Jet hissed, before angrily stomping down the hallway.
Spike groaned lightly, and shuffled his tired body out of his bedroom. The bright hallway lights pierced through his eyes, causing him to squint slightly.
" Spike-person is up!!" Ed recited cheerfully, circling around him, Ein trailing closely behind.
Spike scoffed at Ed and stumbled into the kitchen, pulling a chair out for himself.
" Nice to know you're alive..." Jet turned from the stove, and shot Spike a sarcastic glare.
Spike ignored Jet, and continued to stare blankly at the wall in front of him.
" So how long are you gonna put up with this?" Jet pryed, shoveling some food onto Spike's plate.
Spike continued to ignore Jet, and it was really starting to piss him off.
" Are you gonna answer me?!" Jet's voice boomed throughout the kitchen, startling a scurrying Ein.
" Whatever Jet..."
" I've had enough of your shit!" Jet reached out, grasping Spike's canary shirt tightly, " Save us all some grief and go find her!"
Spike glared at Jet, narrowing his eyes at him." It's not that easy..."
Jet released his grip on Spike, and chuckled softly." What happened to the old Spike? The determined Spike..."
" I don't know what you're talking about.. this is the real Spike..."
" You never cease to amaze me with your lies... We can all see right through you I hope you know..."
Spike was silent as he toyed with his food on his plate.
" Listen, I'm sure Ed can find her for you real easy..." Jet's voice was reassuring...
" WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!! I don't care about Faye! It's better with her gone!" Spike lied again...
Jet narrowed his eyes at Spike, " I know you'll come around some day..." And with that, he left Spike to gather his thoughts.
Spike sighed heavily, and pulled the golden locket out of his pocket, examining it closely. He opened it up, gazing at a younger version of Faye smiling brightly.
' I'm always here for you...'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Yay! I'm done! Minus the song, this is actually kinda a short chapter, but it just a chapter to show the emotions Spike and Faye are feeling. There will be more of the story in the next chapter! And don't forget to review! Thanx a bunch!
BTW, thank you kitten siren so much for understanding me. I'm glad to know there are other respectful authours out there.