Disclaimer: No, I don't own Cowboy Bebop, but I wouldn't mind owning Spike -_-'.

Unwanted: A Cowboy Bebop Fanfic

By: Katie S.

Rated: Pg-13

Category: Romance/ Drama

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Chapter 10: Painful Smiles

Pain.... all she felt was pain. Inside and out. Her heart wrenched and her body felt used. Used by life and its stupid meanings. She had wanted to find her past, but nothing like this... It was way more than she could handle, way more than she wanted. She suddendly felt idiotic for trying to find her past. She didn't want this, she didn't want to know she lost more than just a past, but a true love.

Spike remained silent, for there was nothing to say. He had simply handed her the locket, a look of regret swirling in his mismatched eyes. She knew there was something wrong just by looking at him. But she continued, tearing through the locket ferociously. As her eyes met the glistening golden engravement, everything around her stopped. She couldn't speak, couldn't breath. Her eyes remained on the engravement, tracing over the simple words over and over again with disbelief.

But then again....

It all made sense at the same time. She had recieved the locket one day in the mail. The postage man told her there was a letter that went with the package, but it was lost in a mail carrier accident. She didn't think much of the letter. Figuring it was something that had to do with her debts, so she insisted that it was okay, that she didn't need the letter. But looking back, she wished she had that letter, for it was probably the only thing that told of this... Aidan.

That name sounded so foreign to her.

She wanted to cry so badly. But she couldn't. Her eyes were mysteriously parched and dry, like they felt joy for some reason. But she didn't want to feel joy for this discovery. She wanted everything to end, so she could live on the Bebop forever with Spike, Jet, Ed, and Ein. Even if Spike didn't love her...

But she knew, no matter how great that life sounded, it was merely a fairy tale. Something that wasn't meant to be. Because if it was meant to be, Spike would have never found the engravement in the first place... Right?

His eyes bore into her, searching for any emotion. But he could see nothing. Everything around her was so blank. But then again, maybe it was just the darkness of her room that threw him off...

" Spike..." Her voice was quiet, but it still pierced viciously threw the darkness of the room.

He met his eyes with hers, slowly drowning in sorrow. He couldn't look at her anymore, it was too heart wrenching...

" I... I want to find him..." She had no idea why she was saying this. She didn't want to find him, she wanted to forget him and that damned locket all together. But that piece of her called out. The side of her that was full of hope and determination.

Spike's features pressed into a frown. He knew she would say something like that, but he still felt his heart shattering to pieces. But he simply nodded, his eyes darting down at the cold, steel floor below him.

She was right....

Julia was right. He was the keeper of her past. But why? Why would life pick someone like Spike? That had to mean something....

His eyes slowly traced up to Faye's saddended form. She really didn't want to find him, she just thought that she had to find him, and Spike knew it.

" You don't have to do this Faye..." He spoke gently, but it still came out slightly forceful.

Her features stiffened, and she shot him a cold glare. " Spike, what the hell are you saying? I remember you doing the same thing to me not to long ago! But you weren't listening to me! You just had to find your precious Julia, and whatever you told me about figuring out if you were alive!" Her words were hurtful, but it didn't matter to Spike. He could see the pain she truly felt inside.

" Faye... I'm sorry. I was naive then... I had no idea what I was doing. But... just trust me, the past isn't worth chasing... I know from experience." He moved closer, but she pulled away, wrapping her thin frame in the blood-stained blankets around her.

" Spike... I'm not chasing anything. I'm finding it..." She looked deeply into his choclate eyes, sealing her solemn words.

He paused, shaking his head lightly with disagreeance. " It doesn't matter what you say, lying to your heart will do nothing."

She shut her eyes tightly, pushing farther away from Spike. " I'm not lying to anything... Please.. just let me do this.." She pleaded, her voice full of regret. She knew she didn't want to do this at all, but it was like she felt she had to prove something.

Spike nodded lightly. There was no budging her. This was Faye he was talking about. No matter how saddended she becomes, she will always be determined. That is her true nature.

After a long desolate silence, Faye smiled, chuckling slightly. " Thank you, Spike..."

She was laughing? How in the hell could she laugh at a time like this? It was the first time she had laughed in a very long time... but now?

He shot her a confused look, but smiled shortly after. He had to stand behind her, no matter what. Because that's all she needed, was a shoulder to lean on. And Spike was more than happy to be at least that for her. If he couldn't love her, at least he could support her.

She slowly stood, shoving the locket in her pocket. Spike followed her every move, watching intently. She was trying hard to hide her pain with her smiles, but she was failing miserably, for he could read every emotion in her. She slowly moved towards her bedroom door, tossing Spike another fake smile.

" I'm gonna take a shower...."

He nodded again, for he couldn't say anything. There was nothing to say. He shut his eyes tightly, hiding all the pain he was feeling inside.

And as he heard her bedroom door sealing shut, Spike could already feel the painful tears staining his cheeks.

~*~

It had been hours since she was in the shower, and Spike had slowly migrated to the familiar musty couch. He didn't know why, but that old couch was the best place to go when you were feeling pain inside. It was like it read all your emotions, comforting them. Well, its pretty strange saying that, considering the damn thing was a couch, but no matter how hard he tried to disagree, he knew everytime he let his body become engulfed in that sulfurous yellow couch, all his pain would wash away temporally. Yeah... Pretty strange, huh?

He slowly opened his eyes, letting them fall upon the irremediable ceiling fan above him. How was he gonna find this guy? And even so, he's probably old and decrepit.... Damn it, why did she want to find this guy again?

He sighed heavily, slowly sitting up. His mismatched eyes suddendly became heavy, and angrily rubbed them. He blinked twice, glancing at the screen on the coffee table.

Well... he might as well watch Big Shot to get his mind off of things, right?

He swiftly kicked his foot at the screen, switching it on. And of course, that annoying blonde girl wearing practically nothing showed up, preparing to tell of the next bounty.

" Today on Big Shot, all we have are some small fries for you. Sorry cowboys."

Spike rolled his eyes at the annoying blonde, stretching out his body.

" Yes, but they've still got a bounty on their heads!"

" Oh, yes, yes you're right!"

" Our first one is a young man caught stealing from numerous places. He's worth about 6 million woolongs!"

" His name is Aidan Robinson!"

Spike froze. Aidan?

" Here are his stats!"

His eyes widened at his picture. He was about 6'2 with blonde hair and blue eyes. His smile seemed so generous though...

" Oh my god..." Faye's gentle voice startled Spike, and he shot a glance over his shoulder.

It was all so strange to her. He seemed so familiar. And he was strikingly handsome also. And that name... Aidan Robinson... it seemed so... right.

" Spike... that's him..." She whispered, moving closer towards Spike.

Spike's whole body froze. Wait a second.... this all seems so wrong. How could they find him so easily? What is life throwing at him now?

He glanced at the picture again, narrowing his eyes with disbelief. Was this him? If it was, he was obviously a theif of some sort, and that scared Spike a little. He didn't want Faye to get all mixed up in another mess. But then again, that was just her luck... ever since she awoke from cryogenic sleep.

" Spike, are you listening to me? That's him I know of it!" Faye was suddendly standing in front of Spike, a smile pressed against her ruby lips.

Spike paused, glancing up at Faye. " You better get going then...." He forced a smile upon his regretful features, standing up slowly.

" I'll go get Ed, she can help us find him," She seemed excited, and it broke Spike's heart to think so. He watched her as she quickly hustled down the hallway, a playful smile tugging on her lips.

No, no, no... She can't leave him again...

He could feel the tears rising. He never thought he'd find the guy, let alone him be young and handsome. She would leave him again... but this time... she'd be happier somewhere else.

" Spike- person!! Is it true? Have you found Faye-Faye's past?" Ed chirped happily, skipping in the sitting room, Faye following close behind.

Spike nodded, forcing yet another smile. Ed's smile widened and she hastily jumped on the yellow couch, making strange airplane noises.

" Ed will find him for you Faye-Faye!!" Ed quickly jumped over to her tomato, placing it on her head. Faye smiled at Spike, as if she was reciting her thanks to him.

Faye turned back towards Ed, smiling brightly, " All right Ed, search for anything about Aidan Robinson."

' Why am I smiling? I don't want this...' Faye's thoughts quarreled inside her confused mind. She knew she really didn't want to find him, but there was something inside her that insisted. So she figured smiling would hide the true pain inside of her broken heart.

" Ooo! Ed has found something!" Ed jumped up and down, placing her tomato on her orange hair for everyone to see. " Look! Look! Tomato says that Aiden-person awoke from cryogenic sleep a few years back! Oooo!"

Faye's eyes widened. " T-that was.... the same time I awoke...." She paused, shutting her emerald eyes tightly, " It really is him..."

Spike frowned." Faye..."

" No Spike, It's okay... I-I really wanna see him...." Her voice was quiet... almost regretful...

Spike frowned, turning his face away from Faye. He wanted to cry so badly, and let all his pain wash away. He wanted all of this to stop. He just couldn't handle it all in one sitting. Why does life always do this type of shit?

" Tomato says Aidan-person is on Earth!" Ed giggled happily. Damn it, she's so naive....

" That's the address he's at? Why does this seem so easy?" Faye recited, jotting down the address on the palm of her hand.

" You're right... it does seem too easy..." Spike turned back towards Faye, a look of concern pooling in his two-toned eyes.

Faye frowned, averting her gaze to the cold, steel floor below her. " Maybe... it's not meant to be Spike. I mean hell, finding your lost love is never that easy, but... I want to at least get some answers out of him..." Her gaze once again fell upon Spike, softening slightly with plea.

Spike shut his eyes tightly, nodding his head solemnly. God, was she good at it. She could get him to do anything...

Faye moved towards Spike, embracing him in a soft hug. " Thank you Spike... for everything..."

Spike's tanned cheeks suddendly flushed a crimson red, and his chocolate eyes widened slighty. His body fell limp against hers, and his breath caught in the back of his throat. He could feel his heartbeat increasing greatly.

" Spike-person and Faye-Faye are hugging again!!" Ed sqwauked happily, pressing her way between Spike and Faye.

Faye smiled as she drew farther and farther away from Spike, pressing a violet lock out of her crimson-stained face.

" Well Faye... you better get going then..." Spike sighed, pushing his body off the musty yellow couch.

Faye paused, reaching out to Spike." Wait... come with me Spike... please..." She grasped his wrist taughtly, her emerald eyes boring into him with sorrow.

Spike smiled back at her, releasing himself of her grasp.

" Of course..."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

AACK! It's a short chappie... I'm torturing you, ain't I? *cackles wickedly*

*cough* Anyways... That's what happens when you get a cold and you O.D on cough syrup...

XD Please review....