(This is just to apologise for scene one...I only just noticed that the dot
dot dots weren't actually visible, so apologies if you got a bit confused.
And btw thank you so much Tourniquet4 for putting me on your favourites
list! Makes me feel all fuzzy inside...)
WARNING- Only read on if you are truly insane! And like grapes! Heh heh...
Scene 3
"So are we clear as to the rules of the contest?" checked Dr Hannibal Lecter, looking at Fish from the other side of the kitchen table.
Fish nodded. "No hiding in pockets or swallowing..." she warned, aware that he might cheat to win.
Lecter smiled. "Indeed. And remember, the one who fits the most grapes in their mouth at the same time gets to take the loser hostage. Ready?"
Fish looked down at the bunch of grapes between her and Hannibal. She had green, he had an equal number of red. "On your marks..." she said... cracking her neck from side to side.
"CRAM!" yelled Lecter. Both scooped up handfuls of grapes and shoved them into their mouths, their tongues pushing the fruit as far back as it would go before cramming even more in. Lecter's sharp teeth had pierced a grape; juice was dribbling down his chin. When they could hold no more they looked down at the tabletop. There were 7 grapes left in each pile, meaning they were in a tie.
The contestants' eyes fixed on each other's bloated faces mistrustfully.
With a quick gesture Lecter picked up two more red grapes and shoved one up each nostril.
"Phraw! Fhwatfw tchrowtow!" mumbled Fish, then hurriedly chomped to clear her mouth. (By the way I can vouch for the accuracy of those sounds, I tried filling my mouth with grapes and those were the noises I made. Try it, it's fun!)
"Hey! That's cheating!" she repeated, glaring at Hannibal.
With much evidence of enjoyment, he snorted hard through his nose, sending the grapes flying across the room. "Actually, it's you who did not specify into which single orifice on your face you could insert the grapes. I win!"
He approached Fish, who looked around wildly for her stalwart companion, the umbrella. It was too far away, so she artfully let her head drop and succumbed meekly as he tied her up.
"How about a bit of role play?" Dr Lecter suggested, raising his eyebrows.
Fish's head was up in an instant, an insane smile plastered on her face. "Really?! Okay Hannie-baby, I wanna be the pirate, you can be the wench!"
"No! No, not like that!" panicked the doctor, looking scared. "I mean...well, this could be fun." He went over to a metal cabinet at the rear wall, opened it, and lifted out a familiar object.
"Hey!" shouted Fish joyfully as she recognised it, "It's your hockey mask!"
Dr Lecter slipped it over her head, tightening the straps. "Isn't that amusing?" he smiled. "Now you become me! Tied and masked, you are now Lecter, and I am Barney!"
Fish looked quizzically at him. "As in the dinosaur?"
Her captor rolled his maroon eyes. "You say you're a fan, and yet you presume that I would do something as out-of-character as putting on a large purple dinosaur suit?" He looked at her, horror and distaste evident in his gaze, and contempt in his voice. "What else, I wonder? Would you then require me, dressed in this...costume, to maybe sing a song? Do a little dance?"
Fish grinned. "Yeah, make a little love, then get down tonight!"
Dr Lecter grimaced and turned away in despair. "You know, I've seen many people in a similar situation to the one you are in now. Some have pleaded, some screamed, and others defecated with fear. But," he went on, his tone hardening, "this is the first time one has stood there and quoted words from Casey and the Sunshine Band!"
"That's because you've never met anyone like me!" grinned Fish. "Apple?" (Sorry, that just seemed to fit so well.)
"Well," muttered Lecter, turning away, "At least not while I was conscious."
* * *
The bottle of rum fell to the floor.
It sounded like a line, the words, but his tone was too soft, too breathless, too truthful for her to believe her doubts. Her gaze searched his eyes; there was nothing but honest emotion there. Then she felt it. Felt it rising like it always did in her fantasies. (And no, that's NOT meant to be an innuendo!)
It had always happened. Every time she felt strong emotion for a guy, another feeling would also emerge from her core. Violence. In Sauron's soul, passion and violence walked hand in hand. Visions of a flexi-ruler danced before her eyes. She needed to use her nails, her teeth, to draw blood, to make that voice gasp in pain. And seeing that hopeless passion in his face only fed the fire.
(btw look away here if you're allergic to dot dot dots...)
Though her mind screamed in agony, she drew away, hugging her knees. "I'm sorry, I...I always feel...and because it's you...oh, you wouldn't understand!" she said bitterly, hot tears leaking from her eyes. She tried not to notice his wounded expression.
"I might...jus' tell me...I can't understand anythin' if you don't say it."
Sauron turned to face him then, her face a mask of pain. To see him, the wily, double-dealing, self-confident, always jaunty Captain Jack Sparrow, pleading, weak and sensitive, was like claws tearing at her mind, like an insistent itching pain on her arm...oh, hang on, that was a mosquito. "You have always been...I mean, ever since I saw the fi...and then I have this...this darker side...and I just don't want you to be scared of me..." She saw his rum-slowed brain struggle to comprehend, and buried her face in her knees again.
"Jus' tell me the whole fing...it's alright, love, I'm listening..." His voice, that rough voice more used to shouting orders above a screeching wind, seemed so awkward when used sensitively...yet it drained her like a small blood-sucking insect...irritably Sauron brushed away the damned mosquito that had returned.
"It's no use," she said with a broken voice. "You wouldn't understand."
"Aye?" replied the Captain of the Black Pearl, the rum inflaming his mind making him suddenly angry. "And why's that? D'ya think I'm too stupid to understand you, being only a pirate? I s'pose that's not good enough for your ladyship to talk to, is it?"
Sauron's tear stained face raised sharply, a hiss sounding in her throat. "No! No, not at all! I just didn't want you to think I was..."
"You know, I don't care!" yelled Jack, scrambling to his feet. "That's a more pirate view, ain't it? Not caring about anyone else? Well looks like you'd make a bloody good pirate as well!"
Sauron was on her feet in an instant, swaying slightly because of the rum. "How dare you!" she spat, her eyes gleaming malevolently. "I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to upset you! But looks like you're right, yeah." Suddenly another suspicion wormed its way into her mind. "Bet you've said that to a load of women, as well!" she hissed, moving closer. "Yeah, a woman at every port, you act all sympathetic just to get laid, then you're off with the morning tide! Well I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of getting out tomorrow. Get away from me now, you disgust me!"
Jack jerked as if she had hit him. "You really...you really believe..." he muttered, his arms flailing in their usual way. Then he glared venomously. "Fine! I'll be off then! Dunno how you're gonna survive on this island without my help! But no, whatever you want, your ladyship! Can't possibly have a pirate caring about one, oh no!"
And he disappeared into the darkening forest, leaving Sauron standing with a tear trailing silently down her cheek.
(By the way...sorry for the amount of morbidness in that last bit...I'm trying to make up for what's about to happen with Fish, Lecter, and...DUH DUH DAAAAAAAAAH! You'll just have to read on...)
WARNING- Only read on if you are truly insane! And like grapes! Heh heh...
Scene 3
"So are we clear as to the rules of the contest?" checked Dr Hannibal Lecter, looking at Fish from the other side of the kitchen table.
Fish nodded. "No hiding in pockets or swallowing..." she warned, aware that he might cheat to win.
Lecter smiled. "Indeed. And remember, the one who fits the most grapes in their mouth at the same time gets to take the loser hostage. Ready?"
Fish looked down at the bunch of grapes between her and Hannibal. She had green, he had an equal number of red. "On your marks..." she said... cracking her neck from side to side.
"CRAM!" yelled Lecter. Both scooped up handfuls of grapes and shoved them into their mouths, their tongues pushing the fruit as far back as it would go before cramming even more in. Lecter's sharp teeth had pierced a grape; juice was dribbling down his chin. When they could hold no more they looked down at the tabletop. There were 7 grapes left in each pile, meaning they were in a tie.
The contestants' eyes fixed on each other's bloated faces mistrustfully.
With a quick gesture Lecter picked up two more red grapes and shoved one up each nostril.
"Phraw! Fhwatfw tchrowtow!" mumbled Fish, then hurriedly chomped to clear her mouth. (By the way I can vouch for the accuracy of those sounds, I tried filling my mouth with grapes and those were the noises I made. Try it, it's fun!)
"Hey! That's cheating!" she repeated, glaring at Hannibal.
With much evidence of enjoyment, he snorted hard through his nose, sending the grapes flying across the room. "Actually, it's you who did not specify into which single orifice on your face you could insert the grapes. I win!"
He approached Fish, who looked around wildly for her stalwart companion, the umbrella. It was too far away, so she artfully let her head drop and succumbed meekly as he tied her up.
"How about a bit of role play?" Dr Lecter suggested, raising his eyebrows.
Fish's head was up in an instant, an insane smile plastered on her face. "Really?! Okay Hannie-baby, I wanna be the pirate, you can be the wench!"
"No! No, not like that!" panicked the doctor, looking scared. "I mean...well, this could be fun." He went over to a metal cabinet at the rear wall, opened it, and lifted out a familiar object.
"Hey!" shouted Fish joyfully as she recognised it, "It's your hockey mask!"
Dr Lecter slipped it over her head, tightening the straps. "Isn't that amusing?" he smiled. "Now you become me! Tied and masked, you are now Lecter, and I am Barney!"
Fish looked quizzically at him. "As in the dinosaur?"
Her captor rolled his maroon eyes. "You say you're a fan, and yet you presume that I would do something as out-of-character as putting on a large purple dinosaur suit?" He looked at her, horror and distaste evident in his gaze, and contempt in his voice. "What else, I wonder? Would you then require me, dressed in this...costume, to maybe sing a song? Do a little dance?"
Fish grinned. "Yeah, make a little love, then get down tonight!"
Dr Lecter grimaced and turned away in despair. "You know, I've seen many people in a similar situation to the one you are in now. Some have pleaded, some screamed, and others defecated with fear. But," he went on, his tone hardening, "this is the first time one has stood there and quoted words from Casey and the Sunshine Band!"
"That's because you've never met anyone like me!" grinned Fish. "Apple?" (Sorry, that just seemed to fit so well.)
"Well," muttered Lecter, turning away, "At least not while I was conscious."
* * *
The bottle of rum fell to the floor.
It sounded like a line, the words, but his tone was too soft, too breathless, too truthful for her to believe her doubts. Her gaze searched his eyes; there was nothing but honest emotion there. Then she felt it. Felt it rising like it always did in her fantasies. (And no, that's NOT meant to be an innuendo!)
It had always happened. Every time she felt strong emotion for a guy, another feeling would also emerge from her core. Violence. In Sauron's soul, passion and violence walked hand in hand. Visions of a flexi-ruler danced before her eyes. She needed to use her nails, her teeth, to draw blood, to make that voice gasp in pain. And seeing that hopeless passion in his face only fed the fire.
(btw look away here if you're allergic to dot dot dots...)
Though her mind screamed in agony, she drew away, hugging her knees. "I'm sorry, I...I always feel...and because it's you...oh, you wouldn't understand!" she said bitterly, hot tears leaking from her eyes. She tried not to notice his wounded expression.
"I might...jus' tell me...I can't understand anythin' if you don't say it."
Sauron turned to face him then, her face a mask of pain. To see him, the wily, double-dealing, self-confident, always jaunty Captain Jack Sparrow, pleading, weak and sensitive, was like claws tearing at her mind, like an insistent itching pain on her arm...oh, hang on, that was a mosquito. "You have always been...I mean, ever since I saw the fi...and then I have this...this darker side...and I just don't want you to be scared of me..." She saw his rum-slowed brain struggle to comprehend, and buried her face in her knees again.
"Jus' tell me the whole fing...it's alright, love, I'm listening..." His voice, that rough voice more used to shouting orders above a screeching wind, seemed so awkward when used sensitively...yet it drained her like a small blood-sucking insect...irritably Sauron brushed away the damned mosquito that had returned.
"It's no use," she said with a broken voice. "You wouldn't understand."
"Aye?" replied the Captain of the Black Pearl, the rum inflaming his mind making him suddenly angry. "And why's that? D'ya think I'm too stupid to understand you, being only a pirate? I s'pose that's not good enough for your ladyship to talk to, is it?"
Sauron's tear stained face raised sharply, a hiss sounding in her throat. "No! No, not at all! I just didn't want you to think I was..."
"You know, I don't care!" yelled Jack, scrambling to his feet. "That's a more pirate view, ain't it? Not caring about anyone else? Well looks like you'd make a bloody good pirate as well!"
Sauron was on her feet in an instant, swaying slightly because of the rum. "How dare you!" she spat, her eyes gleaming malevolently. "I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to upset you! But looks like you're right, yeah." Suddenly another suspicion wormed its way into her mind. "Bet you've said that to a load of women, as well!" she hissed, moving closer. "Yeah, a woman at every port, you act all sympathetic just to get laid, then you're off with the morning tide! Well I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of getting out tomorrow. Get away from me now, you disgust me!"
Jack jerked as if she had hit him. "You really...you really believe..." he muttered, his arms flailing in their usual way. Then he glared venomously. "Fine! I'll be off then! Dunno how you're gonna survive on this island without my help! But no, whatever you want, your ladyship! Can't possibly have a pirate caring about one, oh no!"
And he disappeared into the darkening forest, leaving Sauron standing with a tear trailing silently down her cheek.
(By the way...sorry for the amount of morbidness in that last bit...I'm trying to make up for what's about to happen with Fish, Lecter, and...DUH DUH DAAAAAAAAAH! You'll just have to read on...)