Disclaimer- The Black Adder theme tune is from Black Adder! (No, surely
not!)
(Heya! Thanks guys for your reviews...it's really gratifying to see my first ever fanfic so well reviewed! I love you people! Hope you enjoy this chapter, it's slightly more worryingly insane than the others! And I feel I must mention Fish for her first mention of the umbrella fight, asking about location of hot springs, and introducing me to Hannibal. And being insane of course. I luv ya, Fishy!)
(Just thought I'd warn you- There may be some slightly slashy content in here...I don't know quite how far I'm gonna go yet.)
Scene 4
For once in his life, Dr Hannibal Lecter was truly infuriated. He was so accustomed to people being knock-kneed, tremble-jawed and weak-bladdered when they saw him, that having a different experience should really be novel. He was scary, he knew that. But what annoyed him about the spiky- haired girl tied up before him was not that she was simply unafraid.
It was that she kept winking at him, grinning, and saying, "How about it, Hannie-baby?!"
"God-on-earth!" he yelled, his fists clenched. "How many times do I have to tell you, I'm a terrifying murderous cannibal?! Not a hot movie-hunk, not some sort of brainless muscled poser, I kill people and eat their delicious body parts! I don't prance around in bloody green tights and a long blonde wig!"
"A fact for which I am extremely grateful, oh terrifying cannibal," said Fish in a mock 'oh exalted-one' tone. "Forsooth, if all delightful men such as thyself were to 'prance around in bloody green tights and a long blonde wig', yea, verily, the earth should be smitten down with thunderbolts of incandescent wrath from the heavens!" (okay, so I would be more likely to say that, but I can't think of when I would use that in this fic so I'll let Fish have it...)
Lecter stared. "M-" he started. "Wha-?"... "Bless you," he finally decided on, looking desperately around for a gag.
Behind him Fish started to sing Sauron's new (and just put up on fanfiction.com!) song; 'Ode to Captain Jack Sparrow'. This should, however, be sung to the tune of the Black Adder theme tune, and not 'We three Kings of Orient Are', for the reason that is currently making Hannibal redouble his efforts in searching for a gag, his teeth gritted so hard together that he definitely would have lost the grape stuffing contest.
"His loooooooooks no oooooooooothers caaaaaan surpass..." sang Fish in the background, doing an impressive job of trying to make the words fit.
Hannibal looked blearily around. Anything, anything would do, be it scrap of cloth or watermelon, just anything to stop the...well, I suppose a very hard-of-hearing, tone-deaf person might call it singing, and to Hannibal's growing unhappiness he was neither.
He winced, hearing the words, "He haaaaaaas a tiiiiiiight and looooooovely aaaaaaaaaaaaaarse!" squawked over his shoulder. Then his panicked gaze took in the nearest thing he could see that would fit in Fish's mouth. (And no, I know there was a sofa there, but even Fish's mouth has its limits! Actually, having said that...=D )
The umbrella.
* * *
It was dark, and Sauron could no longer see the line where the sky met the sea. It had been three hours since the fight. Her brain was beginning to become unpleasantly achy and sober, losing the warm, comfortable lull of drunkenness. If only she hadn't got in such a temper, she thought despairingly, rubbing her eyes. If only she had stayed calm and explained to him...but that was the point, she remembered. She couldn't tell him how she always felt. Her violence was a part of her she did not want to acknowledge, (as well as her weird nose, unstoppable insulting mouth, and never-ending supply of blonde jokes), so telling it to Jack would mean that she had accepted it as part of her own character.
And it's not me, she thought desperately. I just...I just lose control. And I didn't want him thinking I was always some sex-crazed maniac...well, the maniac bit's going to be hard to deny anyhow. I want him to know who I really am, and to treat any...occurrences of the violent type as one-off, chance happenings, not a central part of my real character. I didn't want to insult him. I didn't say that he was stupid, or that he just lied to get laid...actually I did say that, and that's probably true, after all, what do I expect, he is a pirate and more importantly a guy...but no, I was totally unfair. There again, he wasn't exactly Mr Friendly...well, except for earlier when his hand...OK! Stop with the thoughts!
She had cried for some while, but now she felt dried out. She looked at her hands. They smelt of rum, and sand was ingrained under the fingernails. She gingerly patted her hair, and though it was less matted than she had expected, the sand and salt water had snarled amongst it. She felt filthy.
Standing up, Sauron picked her way through the debris from earlier. She had to feel her way through the trees at first until her eyes became accustomed to the darkness. Then a slight glowing to the left led her toward it. Intrigued, she stumbled closer.
The glade was lit by a ray of moonlight that shone through the thick canopy of trees, making it feel enclosed and warm. Looking up at the crescent moon, Sauron drew gradually further into the clearing and then stopped at a sensation under her feet.
Or rather, a lack of sensation under her feet.
"MEH!" she squealed as she plunged into the crystal clear pool that had lain innocently waiting in her path.
About to storm out of the water, Sauron suddenly realised, hey, I'm soaked already, and I need a wash. So, removing her sodden jeans (harder than it sounds), and her black t-shirt, she cast them outside the pool and swam around in little circles for a while, marvelling at the beauty of the night. The pool was warm, and constantly being heated by natural hot springs. She dipped her head under the water and rubbed hard at it, coming up for air only when she was close to asphyxiation. Ducking under again, she vigorously rubbed her hair releasing a floating cloud of sand, and then broke surface once more, getting the shock of her life.
Jack was standing on the bank, watching her intently.
Sauron immediately sunk further down into the water, leaving only her eyes and nose above the surface like an alligator. "Pheh luff bloip fwoh ghol roah?" she asked, then rolled her eyes. Rising slightly so her mouth was in the air, she asked, "How long have you been here?" Embarassment and anger from the previous argument roiled in her like...two roiling things.
"I've been watching you since you entered the clearing," he replied. She would never learn, he vowed, how he had watched her from the trees ever since the argument, longing to comfort her as she wept. She would never know how he walked beside her like a guardian angel in the dark, ready to stop her from coming to harm. She would also never known how hard it was to suppress a burst of laughter when she blundered into the pool.
He watched in amusement as she tried to cover herself. "There's no need, as I say, I've been watching for a while!"
"Too scared to get your feet wet, pirate possum?" Sauron taunted, embarrassment making her lash out as usual.
"No," he replied, smiling brazenly in reply. With a shrug of his shoulders, the long maroon coat crumpled to the ground in a heap. He reached around his back and, after some fumbling, managed to untie his sash. Neglecting the fastenings, the pirate captain pulled his shirt off over his head carefully, managing to upset not a single braid. His boots were kicked off, and his hands reached for the buttons on his pantaloons. With one swift movement one leg was liberated; but the mood was rather spoiled by the whole mass getting stuck around the shin of the right leg. Sauron watched, grinning, as he hopped around in a circle, frantically kicking the foot out to the side with lump of trouser still attached. Sauron's laughter made him redouble his efforts. At last the offending article of clothing came free and sailed over to land- with pinpoint accuracy- on Sauron's pile of clothes.
Sauron and Jack looked at each other. Sauron's gaze travelled down. Sauron's gaze travelled down some more. She whistled.
"Are you pleased to see me or are you growing a fifth limb?!" she giggled.
Jack's hands moved to his hat.
"Oh no!" cried Sauron, then smiled tauntingly. "You can keep your hat on!"
Jack's answer was to climb into the pool and wade towards her, stopping at arm's length. They stared at each other in the moonlight, the steaming water lapping around their waists. Sauron's skin was silver in the ethereal light, and her hair looked uncommonly like his when wet. But her eyes were huge, dark and soulful, and they stared at him with undisguised longing. Yet he knew there was one thing he had to ask her.
"About earlier...we need to-"
Sauron silenced him by putting a gentle finger at his lips. "Don't say anything," she warned, "and it might just be okay."
His answer was to bite gently at her finger, and put his arms around her waist.
She could not, would not reply.
For their lips touched.
(Heya! Thanks guys for your reviews...it's really gratifying to see my first ever fanfic so well reviewed! I love you people! Hope you enjoy this chapter, it's slightly more worryingly insane than the others! And I feel I must mention Fish for her first mention of the umbrella fight, asking about location of hot springs, and introducing me to Hannibal. And being insane of course. I luv ya, Fishy!)
(Just thought I'd warn you- There may be some slightly slashy content in here...I don't know quite how far I'm gonna go yet.)
Scene 4
For once in his life, Dr Hannibal Lecter was truly infuriated. He was so accustomed to people being knock-kneed, tremble-jawed and weak-bladdered when they saw him, that having a different experience should really be novel. He was scary, he knew that. But what annoyed him about the spiky- haired girl tied up before him was not that she was simply unafraid.
It was that she kept winking at him, grinning, and saying, "How about it, Hannie-baby?!"
"God-on-earth!" he yelled, his fists clenched. "How many times do I have to tell you, I'm a terrifying murderous cannibal?! Not a hot movie-hunk, not some sort of brainless muscled poser, I kill people and eat their delicious body parts! I don't prance around in bloody green tights and a long blonde wig!"
"A fact for which I am extremely grateful, oh terrifying cannibal," said Fish in a mock 'oh exalted-one' tone. "Forsooth, if all delightful men such as thyself were to 'prance around in bloody green tights and a long blonde wig', yea, verily, the earth should be smitten down with thunderbolts of incandescent wrath from the heavens!" (okay, so I would be more likely to say that, but I can't think of when I would use that in this fic so I'll let Fish have it...)
Lecter stared. "M-" he started. "Wha-?"... "Bless you," he finally decided on, looking desperately around for a gag.
Behind him Fish started to sing Sauron's new (and just put up on fanfiction.com!) song; 'Ode to Captain Jack Sparrow'. This should, however, be sung to the tune of the Black Adder theme tune, and not 'We three Kings of Orient Are', for the reason that is currently making Hannibal redouble his efforts in searching for a gag, his teeth gritted so hard together that he definitely would have lost the grape stuffing contest.
"His loooooooooks no oooooooooothers caaaaaan surpass..." sang Fish in the background, doing an impressive job of trying to make the words fit.
Hannibal looked blearily around. Anything, anything would do, be it scrap of cloth or watermelon, just anything to stop the...well, I suppose a very hard-of-hearing, tone-deaf person might call it singing, and to Hannibal's growing unhappiness he was neither.
He winced, hearing the words, "He haaaaaaas a tiiiiiiight and looooooovely aaaaaaaaaaaaaarse!" squawked over his shoulder. Then his panicked gaze took in the nearest thing he could see that would fit in Fish's mouth. (And no, I know there was a sofa there, but even Fish's mouth has its limits! Actually, having said that...=D )
The umbrella.
* * *
It was dark, and Sauron could no longer see the line where the sky met the sea. It had been three hours since the fight. Her brain was beginning to become unpleasantly achy and sober, losing the warm, comfortable lull of drunkenness. If only she hadn't got in such a temper, she thought despairingly, rubbing her eyes. If only she had stayed calm and explained to him...but that was the point, she remembered. She couldn't tell him how she always felt. Her violence was a part of her she did not want to acknowledge, (as well as her weird nose, unstoppable insulting mouth, and never-ending supply of blonde jokes), so telling it to Jack would mean that she had accepted it as part of her own character.
And it's not me, she thought desperately. I just...I just lose control. And I didn't want him thinking I was always some sex-crazed maniac...well, the maniac bit's going to be hard to deny anyhow. I want him to know who I really am, and to treat any...occurrences of the violent type as one-off, chance happenings, not a central part of my real character. I didn't want to insult him. I didn't say that he was stupid, or that he just lied to get laid...actually I did say that, and that's probably true, after all, what do I expect, he is a pirate and more importantly a guy...but no, I was totally unfair. There again, he wasn't exactly Mr Friendly...well, except for earlier when his hand...OK! Stop with the thoughts!
She had cried for some while, but now she felt dried out. She looked at her hands. They smelt of rum, and sand was ingrained under the fingernails. She gingerly patted her hair, and though it was less matted than she had expected, the sand and salt water had snarled amongst it. She felt filthy.
Standing up, Sauron picked her way through the debris from earlier. She had to feel her way through the trees at first until her eyes became accustomed to the darkness. Then a slight glowing to the left led her toward it. Intrigued, she stumbled closer.
The glade was lit by a ray of moonlight that shone through the thick canopy of trees, making it feel enclosed and warm. Looking up at the crescent moon, Sauron drew gradually further into the clearing and then stopped at a sensation under her feet.
Or rather, a lack of sensation under her feet.
"MEH!" she squealed as she plunged into the crystal clear pool that had lain innocently waiting in her path.
About to storm out of the water, Sauron suddenly realised, hey, I'm soaked already, and I need a wash. So, removing her sodden jeans (harder than it sounds), and her black t-shirt, she cast them outside the pool and swam around in little circles for a while, marvelling at the beauty of the night. The pool was warm, and constantly being heated by natural hot springs. She dipped her head under the water and rubbed hard at it, coming up for air only when she was close to asphyxiation. Ducking under again, she vigorously rubbed her hair releasing a floating cloud of sand, and then broke surface once more, getting the shock of her life.
Jack was standing on the bank, watching her intently.
Sauron immediately sunk further down into the water, leaving only her eyes and nose above the surface like an alligator. "Pheh luff bloip fwoh ghol roah?" she asked, then rolled her eyes. Rising slightly so her mouth was in the air, she asked, "How long have you been here?" Embarassment and anger from the previous argument roiled in her like...two roiling things.
"I've been watching you since you entered the clearing," he replied. She would never learn, he vowed, how he had watched her from the trees ever since the argument, longing to comfort her as she wept. She would never know how he walked beside her like a guardian angel in the dark, ready to stop her from coming to harm. She would also never known how hard it was to suppress a burst of laughter when she blundered into the pool.
He watched in amusement as she tried to cover herself. "There's no need, as I say, I've been watching for a while!"
"Too scared to get your feet wet, pirate possum?" Sauron taunted, embarrassment making her lash out as usual.
"No," he replied, smiling brazenly in reply. With a shrug of his shoulders, the long maroon coat crumpled to the ground in a heap. He reached around his back and, after some fumbling, managed to untie his sash. Neglecting the fastenings, the pirate captain pulled his shirt off over his head carefully, managing to upset not a single braid. His boots were kicked off, and his hands reached for the buttons on his pantaloons. With one swift movement one leg was liberated; but the mood was rather spoiled by the whole mass getting stuck around the shin of the right leg. Sauron watched, grinning, as he hopped around in a circle, frantically kicking the foot out to the side with lump of trouser still attached. Sauron's laughter made him redouble his efforts. At last the offending article of clothing came free and sailed over to land- with pinpoint accuracy- on Sauron's pile of clothes.
Sauron and Jack looked at each other. Sauron's gaze travelled down. Sauron's gaze travelled down some more. She whistled.
"Are you pleased to see me or are you growing a fifth limb?!" she giggled.
Jack's hands moved to his hat.
"Oh no!" cried Sauron, then smiled tauntingly. "You can keep your hat on!"
Jack's answer was to climb into the pool and wade towards her, stopping at arm's length. They stared at each other in the moonlight, the steaming water lapping around their waists. Sauron's skin was silver in the ethereal light, and her hair looked uncommonly like his when wet. But her eyes were huge, dark and soulful, and they stared at him with undisguised longing. Yet he knew there was one thing he had to ask her.
"About earlier...we need to-"
Sauron silenced him by putting a gentle finger at his lips. "Don't say anything," she warned, "and it might just be okay."
His answer was to bite gently at her finger, and put his arms around her waist.
She could not, would not reply.
For their lips touched.