RIDICULOUS ACCUSATIONS
Donovan held Pax's arm as they entered the chapel of the funeral home. Not sure what to expect from Remy's relatives, Pax had dressed very simply in black slacks, a white silk top, and a black jacket. She had pulled her wild mane of hair into a tight French twist. He didn't think anyone could say much about her appearance today. For a moment, he focused his eyes on the two coffins set out before the mourners. They were closed, of course. There was no way in hell they could be open, not after what happened to them. He led Pax over to a padded pew and the two of them sat down together. He could feel the eyes of Remy's family on them, disapproving, and aching to say something about Stasia's lack of attendance. However, the Ellis' weren't dysfunctional, they wouldn't say a word, but they certainly wouldn't hesitate to throw as many daggers as they could with their eyes. For all her blustery self-confidence, Donovan knew Pax felt out of place and uncomfortable. Hell, he did as well. He hadn't been an 'official' part of the family in a few years. His only tie now was his daughter. He loved Stasia with all his heart and would lay his life down for her without a moment's hesitation, but he often wondered how far his and Remy's marriage would have lasted without her. He had loved Remy and never doubted that. However, after the crisis was averted and they were married, there was a slight shift in their relationship. It was almost undetectable, but there was a definite change of some sort. It wasn't anything either of them could readily put their fingers on. Love had never been the problem. It was all about compatibility. If it hadn't been, he wouldn't be sitting beside Jonella Paxton right now. His mind drifted to his confrontation with the red-haired menace, and the fact that she completely expected him to break down. It wasn't that he didn't feel upset or sad, he did. He simply didn't love her in the same way and hadn't since she left him. Face it, you ass. Your love changed the instant Pax waltzed into the room. You denied it…denied her…for months before you saw the light. Aren't women supposed to be the fickle ones? He didn't know. How the hell was he supposed to act? What was he supposed to do? He sighed and felt Pax's hand tightening its hold on his. He glanced at her and noticed that she was asking him with her eyes if he was okay. Was he? For the hundredth time, he wanted to kick himself for dragging Pax and Remy along with him in the deep mire of his confusion. Maybe he should have made a move back when she was still in the hospital, at her most vulnerable. Hadn't he had feelings for her back then? It would have been easy enough, he supposed, but he wasn't sure she would have gone for it. Not with her past. Yet, if she had, maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe Remy would still be alive somewhere, happy. Maybe the horrid tension, arguments, tears, and hatred wouldn't have happened. Of course, Stasia wouldn't have happened, either. He was certain that he wouldn't have traded a thing for his daughter.
The rustle of activity toward the back caught Donovan's attention. He turned his head only slightly and noticed Detective Norwood making her way up the aisle. Unlike the first time she had introduced herself, she was wearing a black dress and had her fire red hair pulled up in a style very similar to Pax's. While the other members of the family chose to ostracize the couple, Norwood did nothing of the sort. She moved up to a pew directly across from theirs. Without the slightest hesitation, she sat down and crossed her legs. Her poison green eyes met Donovan's and she lifted her eyebrow quizzically. He was startled when he realized that the bitch was smirking at him. What the hell did she think she was doing? It would take perhaps five minutes to find her precinct, less than one to approach her captain, and half that time to boot her ass to the concrete. They played the staring game until Remy's father drew Norwood's attention away. He wanted the girl to 'sit with the family.' He didn't remove his eyes from her form until she was completely out of eyeshot. Beside him, he felt Pax's body tensing up. Jesus, she must have picked up on that. Duh. How could she not? He turned to look at her and she desperately wanted to speak, but he was shaking his head. Now was not the time. They could do this later. He could sense from Pax's body language that she wanted to get up and speak to the girl up close and personal. This wasn't going to be easy. Norwood would bait Pax and she'd take every bite without backing down. It was the type of scene the Ellis' would enjoy seeing, actually. It would validate their hatred for him even more. When she saw the look in his eyes, Pax settled back. She had honed her self-control skills over the months, but it wouldn't take much for her to get off track. All he had to do was think back to what she did to Keith Ahiga and that horrid singer in his club. Donovan wondered vaguely if this day would ever end.
Another guest entered at that moment, but most of the mourners already seated were a bit too distracted to notice. Unlike the rest of the crowd, he stayed in the back. He didn't exactly want to be noticed. Not today. It was bad form. After all, it wasn't nice for the killer to attend the funeral of his victims, now was it? There weren't many people in attendance, but that didn't surprise him. Not many people were on friendly terms with Darryl Hilton. He was a bit of a snob. His wife seemed to be in the same category. He recognized a couple of faces. One of them was a cop. The other was some type of federal agent or some shit. Oh yeah. Hilton's wife had been married to him before, hadn't she? He sat back on the pew and didn't try to bring attention to himself. That would have been very bad, very bad indeed. He intended to be out of here way before it was all over. He didn't want to be seen leaving the scene of the crime.
By the time the service was over, Donovan was ready to go. He didn't want to follow the family members to the graveside service. He also wanted to avoid Alayna Norwood. Considering that she was family, he thought she might follow the rest of them to the cemetery. He felt Pax's resistance, her urge to put on the brakes. She wanted to talk, damn it, and talk right now. They had gotten out to the car and Donovan watched as the other cars followed suit behind the hearses. He hoped that the detective was in one of those cars. He still hadn't said a word to Pax. He wanted to get into the car and get the hell out of here. He had his hand on the passenger side door handle when Pax finally slapped her hand over his. A clear thought was transmitted to him almost as clearly as if she had spoken it: Cut the shit. Donovan took his hand off the door handle and moved back a few steps. Pax was leaning up against the door with her arms crossed before her.
"The bitch," she said. "The one with the red hair. Is that the one who is trying to pin this murder on you?" Donovan said nothing, but she could see it in his face. If he gave her an affirmative answer, he knew she would be on the bitch like white on rice. He didn't want to argue with her or talk about it. It was clearly written on his face, but she didn't give a shit. She wanted to know. "If she is related to this family, why is she working this case? She shouldn't be touching this and I don't appreciate the fact that she's trying to say you killed your ex and her husband. I want to talk to her. I want to talk to her and find out what the fuck she's thinking, what's going on in her mind."
"No, Jonella," he said, shaking his head. "You don't want to do anything of the sort. You want to push her buttons and start a fight. I don't think that's a great idea right now. It would only serve to fuel the fire." Her jaw was set and she hadn't moved an inch. She had gone from slightly irritated to pissed in nanoseconds. "I'm sorry, but you know it's the truth. I know your mindset as well as you know mine. I don't want any more trouble to arise because of this. I'm sure that after her initial meeting with me, she marked me off her list."
"Now I wouldn't say that," a voice said from behind. Alayna watched as Donovan and his girlfriend turned to look at her. She hadn't caught much of the conversation. In fact, she had actually lucked out catching the couple. She had been on her way out the side door when she heard voices. She had come from around the building to catch the last few sentences of Donovan's touching speech to his lover. Perhaps she would show the squeeze a few of the crime scene photos. Maybe the carnage would sober her up some. Not many people were cold-hearted enough to pull off such a horrid murder while digging around the refrigerator and eating. Donovan was cold enough. Surely, the girlfriend must know this. "No one is off the list until I have my suspect in cuffs. That's how the police business works, you know," she said with a snarky little smile. She watched as the girlfriend huffed and then Donovan moved closer to her, taking hold of her arm. What was she going to do? Pass out? Have the vapors? "I'm truly looking forward to speaking with you again, Agent Donovan." She focused her eyes on the woman. "And who might you be? I mean, your name, of course. I realize that you and Agent Donovan here are…friends."
Pax felt Donovan's hand squeezing her arm tighter and tighter. The bastard was beginning to hurt her. Who did this bitch think she was? She wasn't some empty headed bimbo about to take shit from some red-haired whore with a corncob up her ass. Oh hell no. She would say something and then deal with the consequences later. "If you're such an adept investigator, you should know that by now," she said sweetly. Donovan's hand abruptly loosened. He had lost the battle, so there was no need to keep pinching her arm. "Your hunches are about as sharp as a butter knife and I don't think that you need to hang around for very much longer. I'm beginning to lose my temper. When I lose it, I lose it big, and I'd hate to mess up your hair today," she said through clenched teeth. "So if you don't mind, get your snotty attitude, ugly red hair, and mangy ass out of my sight before my high heel becomes quite intimate with your anus."
Expecting a 'Remy reaction,' Alayna recoiled slightly, but not enough to let them know she was shaken. Perhaps she would dig up some information on her as well. Was she some kind of Fed like Donovan? If so, she could have had a hand in the murders. She was actually pissed enough to slap the handcuffs on the woman now. After all, she had actually made an open threat to a police officer. However, she didn't want to get either of them on something small. "Like I said," she began. "I'll be in touch."
Donovan and Pax watched as Norwood turned away and disappeared around the building. A few moments later, they heard a car peeling out of the parking lot, likely throwing a truckload of gravel. Pax was still completely livid, but not so oblivious that she had forgotten Donovan standing beside her. Now it was time for him to kill her. Perhaps she could get a word or two in before he wrapped his hands around her throat. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. I can't believe the shit she was throwing at you. How can you take it? God, I would have been on her in three seconds flat." She stared down at the gravelly parking lot. She kicked at a pebble and sent it flying. She was afraid to look at him. She had shown her ass today and maybe she deserved a bitching. "Go ahead, Frank," she said. "Blow up. Let me have it." He said nothing. Instead, he grabbed hold of the door handle, moving her body along as the door came open. She climbed into the car and watched as he went to the drivers' side. When he got in behind the wheel, she glanced at him. His face was blank. There was nothing. No emotion. She didn't like this. She didn't like this at all.
They went home and Donovan relieved the babysitter, again speaking as little as possible. He listened as the sitter told him that Stasia had just conked out for her afternoon nap. He then went into the kitchen and dug around in one of the high cabinets for a glass. She knew the type he was scrounging for. She called them the 'booze' glasses. Almost like a puppy dog, she followed him into the kitchen. Without a word, he set one out on the counter and went to the refrigerator. Shocked, she watched as he dug into the freezer and pulled out the bottle of vodka she kept tucked in there for special occasions. What the hell? Donovan didn't like vodka. He poured some into the glass, debated for a moment, and then poured more. He replaced the bottle, closed the refrigerator door, and took his drink back over to the counter. Leaning against the counter, he took a long gulp from the glass and grimaced as the liquid went down his throat. They had fought with fists and words many times, but never had he given her the silent treatment. She would have preferred that he beat the living shit out of her. Anything was better than this. How many times had he put his ass on the line for her? She was only returning the favor. No. That wasn't exactly it. Some idiot cop had insulted the man she loved and she was pissed. Simply put, she acted like a woman. He finished off the vodka and put the glass in the sink. For a moment, he didn't move away. He leaned over the sink and gripped the edges until his knuckles turned white. Goddamn. How would she drag him out of this?
"Frank? Say something. Anything. Chew me out. Call me names. Do something. I let her push me and I snapped, but I can't help it. I do that a lot where you're concerned," she said softly.
"I remember now why I hate vodka," he said quietly. "It tastes like shit." He turned to face her. "I'm glad you love me enough to vehemently defend me like you did today, but I think it only piqued her interest instead of knocking it back. I'm not sure why she has her sights on me and I don't care. Whatever she digs up will only lead her to the same brick walls over and over again. Let her waste her time. It's all she has. I don't care about her or what she does or what she says. It's a game cops play. You know that. I can't control what you do or say. God only knows I've tried, but you've been slightly stubborn," he commented lightly. "You're wasting your breath, Jonella. Besides, she's all bark and no bite."
Pax sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "She made me think of myself when I was younger. Was I that bad?"
He smiled a little. "No. You were much worse," he said. "You had bite, though. You could back it up. She won't ever."
"She is nothing like her relatives, but she was sort of pretty if you're into girls," she said vaguely, lowering her head. "I really did see myself in her. Well, except for the sort of pretty stuff. If…well…you know…she's around, maybe you would start feeling about her how you feel about me, since she's like me. She was…maybe…eyeballing you. I don't know if you're into her or anything, but…" Oh hell. She couldn't finish. Part of her wanted to let him know she didn't want him to waste the rest of his life on her. The other part wanted to suggest they fly to Vegas and just…do it.
Donovan stared at her incredulously. "What the hell are you saying?" He approached her and slid his finger beneath her chin. He raised her head so that she was looking at him. "I love you," he said. "I want…to be with you." He had had to bite his tongue again. He had truly wanted to say 'I want to marry you.' She would have loved that. "Can I say something mushy to you?"
She looked up at him and found a wry smile curling her lips. "When have you not said something mushy to me? I'm surprised you asked first. Hell, Donovan."
His smile expanded and he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Although I would have rather pounded a nail into my eye than admit it aloud, I knew I loved you the day I came to you at the hospital. You remember? The day when I scared the shit out of you? I kept it buried, I moved on, but I never forgot you. Fate has funny ways of intervening in a man's life, and not once did I ever expect this to happen to us. But it did and I've never regretted it. So when you have stray thoughts such as you voiced moments ago, keep that in mind won't you?"
As was her custom, she took a serious situation and turned it around. "You really need to find a hobby," she told him. "You ruminate far too much."
Pax stepped back and turned away. He watched as she made her way upstairs, waiting several moments before following her lead. By the time he made it upstairs, she had come out of the suit and had taken down her hair. The tightness of the twist was giving her a massive headache. Before long, she had donned an oversized tee shirt and a pair of shorts. Today, she was tired. She considered taking her own afternoon conk out. She heard Donovan moving about the room, likely changing as well. He crawled into bed behind her and she was a little disappointed when she realized that he was dressed. No fair. He wasn't supposed to climb in behind her unless he was butt naked. Hadn't he learned anything yet?
He enveloped her body with his. Moving her hair away from her ear, he whispered, "I know you had issues with going today, but thank you for being there."
"Jesus, Donovan," she groaned. "How many fucking times have you been there for me? It's because I love you and shit," she said, her voice muffled by her pillow [as was usual].
Much, much later, it might have been two or three in the morning. Pax wasn't sure. She couldn't sleep, that was the only thing she was sure of. As soon as Stasia awoke, she had asked about her mother. She knew it was right about time for her to go see her again. Donovan had skirted around the issue, of course, and said later that he had felt like a shit for lying to her. It wouldn't be an easy thing to explain to a child, especially one so young. She wouldn't see Mommy again. But Stasia wouldn't take those words and go. She would ask why. Donovan had tossed and turned a good three hours before finally slipping off into a deep sleep. Pax did everything she could think of to bore herself to sleep, but nothing worked. Thinking 'fuck it,' she strolled back over to the bed and climbed back in. After trying for the umpteenth time to go to sleep, she finally leaned up on one elbow and watched Donovan sleep. Was he truly asleep? She reached out and ran a finger along his arm. There was no movement. She did the same thing to his ear. Again, he didn't move.
"What would you say if I told you I loved you back then too," she said suddenly. "What would you say if I told you I wanted to get married? Would you believe it?"
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To be continued…