The Fourth (Not-So-) Short And Très Stupid Fic: Luka Puts Da Moves On!
Part Two
By Sammie (now known as sprinkydonut!)
I'm BAAAAAACK! Aren't ya happy to see me? No? Oh, I guess you just want pigeon then. That's hurtful. I feel unwanted. No, actually, I don't. Yeah. So, now, I have to thank people for reviews.
NaNa: Thanky. That was nice of you. Now, talk to me. You leave right when I get back. Total unfairness, okay? (I know I write Cleo well. I can see inside her. Cause I'm psychic! Yeah!) Crow is annoying. Like me! You aren't annoying. Yes I am!!! I'm the annoying one. Shut up. You're annoying me. Good. That was my intention all along. What?!
Nobody: You are a somebody. Cause you can't write a review if you are nobody. Yeah. Have you reviewed me before?? You should make an account. And write fic. Funny fic. Cause funny fic is funny. Or you could just read it.
MaryAnn: Thank you for your comments. But why did you read it if it was horrible? When I read bad fic, I stop reading. God, you must have no life. I mean, you read fic you don't even like. Total sadness. (I'm soooooo good! You insult me and I flip it around! Woo! Cause now I feel good and not crappy. So your review was a good one for my ego. Thank you.)
Muakocita: ? to you too! Did you read the other fics? Or do I just confuse you. I'm good at doing that. I want a coke.
Nurse Mandy: Hi-hi! Lurve your fics. And from your review, you lurve mine too! Email me. You seem remotely interesting. Yeah.
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You don't have to tell me that that was a waste of time. But I don't want to write fic because here in Ottawa, there's rotating power outages. Like sooo many other places right now. So I'm not writing cause chances are, I won't get to finish. I'm gonna go get that coke now.
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Kay, so now it's Monday, no wait, Tuesday morning and there has been power since Saturday, but we have to "conserve." I don't have A/C. I'm bitchy. I hope that doesn't reflect in my fic. It will though! Good for me, but I'm not sure that this'll turn out so good. Who cares?!
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Luka: Why do women hate me? I think I'm pretty good looking. I mean, nobody here's as hot as me. Carter? Not even close. Peter? Ha ha. He only wishes. Robert? He-
Luka doesn't notice Dr. Romano, who has listened to Luka's whole self- centered personal conversation.
Romano: Is WAYYYYYY better looking than you, Mr. Narcissist.
Luka: Whoa! Didn't see you there. Hehe. So...
Luka tries to walk away from Romano, but I mean, come on!
Romano: Don't avoid me. Now, I can tell you why women hate you.
Luka: I dooooon't want to here it. *Sticks his fingers in his ears.* La la la la laaaaaaa!!! I can't hear yooooooou!!!!
Romano: Since you can't hear me, I might as well leave. I have to find Lizzie.
Romano walks off, in pursuit of his Lizzie, leaving Luka, looking like an idiot with his fingers in his ears.
About 5 minutes later, crow flies by.
Crow: BAWK!! What the hell are you doing? You look like an idiot.
Luka doesn't notice though. And the only reason he does this for sooo long is because he figures Robert would have a pretty long list. Actually...
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Robert: *writing* Number 468. You're still married to a dead woman. That is not attractive. Let it go. *talking* And finally... Number 469. Ummm. You still act like a child and stick your fingers in your ears. That is definitely not attractive.
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Luka: *Tries to take his fingers out of his ears, but finds they're stuck. He actually can't get them out.* DAMN! I CAN'T GET MY FINGERS OUT! *He keeps trying to take them out, but it's like he cemented his fingers in his ears.* HMPH! WHERE'S ROMANO?! *He turns around.* FU-*he sees a kid walking by* DGE!
Annoying kid: I know what you were gonna say!
Luka: WHAT?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Annoying kid: Ha ha! You can't hear me! You're an idiot!
Luka: WHAT?! SAY THAT AGAIN?!
Annoying kid: Hmmph. This has lost its novelty. And he talks too loud. *he walks away*
Luka: I HOPE THAT KID WASN'T MAKING FUN OF ME! WELL, I STILL NEED TO FIND ROMANO!
Luka walks over to Robert's office. And he sees the huge piles of paper on Romano's desk.
Luka: GOD, I HOPE THAT ISN"T PAPERWORK!
Romano: Of course it isn't. And take your fingers out of your ears. You look like a retard.
Luka: I CAN'T!
Romano: Goddamnit, stop screaming! You're getting on my nerves!
Luka: WHAT?!
Romano: STOP SCREAMING!
Luka: WHAT?!
Romano: *Grabs the sheet of paper that ends his list and adds: Number 470. You talk way too loud. Nobody wants you to whisper sweet nothings in their ears unless they have severe hearing loss. He then grabs a blank sheet of paper and a permanent marker and writes: Goddamnit, stop screaming! You're getting on my nerves!*
Luka: Oh. Sorry.
Luka is talking in a loud whisper. About as loud as his regular speech. But he can't tell.
Romano: *Writes it on paper* Read this. All of it. And try to get some help with your finger problem.
Luka: Sure can do! *he walks out*
Romano: I can't believe he's a doctor. I guess it is true. Everyone's retarded.
He starts working on some charts.
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Luka is now not only on a quest to get lucky, but also to get his fingers out of his ears. And that's a lot of work for him. Usually all he has to do is look pretty. It's a big change for him. Well to get started, he goes off to see if he can find somebody to pull his finger out.
Luka: Damn. Nobody's around. I need to get my fingers out. I know! I'll go up to surgery. Somebody had got to be up there.
Crow: BAWK!! Why are you talking out loud? Usually when people talk to themselves they talk in their head.
Luka: What?! I can't hear you.
Crow: BAWK! I'm a voice in your head.
Luka: Can I bang a voice in my head?
Crow: BAWK!! Wow. You are desperate.
Crow flies off, slightly scared because Luka is really. scary. He wants to put that storage closet to good use again.
Luka: Hmm. That was weird. Why'd she leave? I was offering her some service and she walks away. Ah well. I don't know how safe it is to do somebody with your fingers in your ears. I should work on that.
So Luka goes upstairs to get his fingers out.
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Back at the vending machines.
Crow: BAWK!! Hey everyone!
Everybody turn their heads, wanting to hear something good. Like if the vending machine dude had come to refill the butterfingers.
Carter: Is the vending machine dude here?
Abby: With butterfingers?
Crow: BAWK!! What's with you guys and butterfingers?
Chen: They're.good?
Crow: BAWK! Coke is good. Donuts are good. But I'm not so sure about butterfingers.
Pigeon: I wouldn't have said that if I were you.
Carter: I think you forgot something.
Pigeon: NO! I DIDN'T! I don't like saying CAW!! So shut up! Let me be!
Sam: Fine. You don't have to say it. But because you aren't saying it, you have to bring Luka down here. I want to laugh at him. He looks pretty stupid right now.
Pigeon: CAW!! Alrighty!
Sam: You CAW!!ed! Yay pigeon!
Pigeon: I like CAW!!ing. But I was bored and I figured you'd give me something to do.
Sam: How well do you know me?
Pigeon: CAW!! Well.
Sam: That was rhetorical. You aren't supposed to answer. Well, I'm coming with you. Cause I'm bored.
Pigeon: CAW!! Okay.
Sam and pigeon go off and find Luka. Everyone else is looking out the window for the vending machine dude.
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I know, it's taken me awhile. It isn't done, obviously. But I have homework and I should post this, right? Right. -Sam
Part Two
By Sammie (now known as sprinkydonut!)
I'm BAAAAAACK! Aren't ya happy to see me? No? Oh, I guess you just want pigeon then. That's hurtful. I feel unwanted. No, actually, I don't. Yeah. So, now, I have to thank people for reviews.
NaNa: Thanky. That was nice of you. Now, talk to me. You leave right when I get back. Total unfairness, okay? (I know I write Cleo well. I can see inside her. Cause I'm psychic! Yeah!) Crow is annoying. Like me! You aren't annoying. Yes I am!!! I'm the annoying one. Shut up. You're annoying me. Good. That was my intention all along. What?!
Nobody: You are a somebody. Cause you can't write a review if you are nobody. Yeah. Have you reviewed me before?? You should make an account. And write fic. Funny fic. Cause funny fic is funny. Or you could just read it.
MaryAnn: Thank you for your comments. But why did you read it if it was horrible? When I read bad fic, I stop reading. God, you must have no life. I mean, you read fic you don't even like. Total sadness. (I'm soooooo good! You insult me and I flip it around! Woo! Cause now I feel good and not crappy. So your review was a good one for my ego. Thank you.)
Muakocita: ? to you too! Did you read the other fics? Or do I just confuse you. I'm good at doing that. I want a coke.
Nurse Mandy: Hi-hi! Lurve your fics. And from your review, you lurve mine too! Email me. You seem remotely interesting. Yeah.
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*
You don't have to tell me that that was a waste of time. But I don't want to write fic because here in Ottawa, there's rotating power outages. Like sooo many other places right now. So I'm not writing cause chances are, I won't get to finish. I'm gonna go get that coke now.
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*
Kay, so now it's Monday, no wait, Tuesday morning and there has been power since Saturday, but we have to "conserve." I don't have A/C. I'm bitchy. I hope that doesn't reflect in my fic. It will though! Good for me, but I'm not sure that this'll turn out so good. Who cares?!
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*
Luka: Why do women hate me? I think I'm pretty good looking. I mean, nobody here's as hot as me. Carter? Not even close. Peter? Ha ha. He only wishes. Robert? He-
Luka doesn't notice Dr. Romano, who has listened to Luka's whole self- centered personal conversation.
Romano: Is WAYYYYYY better looking than you, Mr. Narcissist.
Luka: Whoa! Didn't see you there. Hehe. So...
Luka tries to walk away from Romano, but I mean, come on!
Romano: Don't avoid me. Now, I can tell you why women hate you.
Luka: I dooooon't want to here it. *Sticks his fingers in his ears.* La la la la laaaaaaa!!! I can't hear yooooooou!!!!
Romano: Since you can't hear me, I might as well leave. I have to find Lizzie.
Romano walks off, in pursuit of his Lizzie, leaving Luka, looking like an idiot with his fingers in his ears.
About 5 minutes later, crow flies by.
Crow: BAWK!! What the hell are you doing? You look like an idiot.
Luka doesn't notice though. And the only reason he does this for sooo long is because he figures Robert would have a pretty long list. Actually...
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Robert: *writing* Number 468. You're still married to a dead woman. That is not attractive. Let it go. *talking* And finally... Number 469. Ummm. You still act like a child and stick your fingers in your ears. That is definitely not attractive.
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Luka: *Tries to take his fingers out of his ears, but finds they're stuck. He actually can't get them out.* DAMN! I CAN'T GET MY FINGERS OUT! *He keeps trying to take them out, but it's like he cemented his fingers in his ears.* HMPH! WHERE'S ROMANO?! *He turns around.* FU-*he sees a kid walking by* DGE!
Annoying kid: I know what you were gonna say!
Luka: WHAT?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Annoying kid: Ha ha! You can't hear me! You're an idiot!
Luka: WHAT?! SAY THAT AGAIN?!
Annoying kid: Hmmph. This has lost its novelty. And he talks too loud. *he walks away*
Luka: I HOPE THAT KID WASN'T MAKING FUN OF ME! WELL, I STILL NEED TO FIND ROMANO!
Luka walks over to Robert's office. And he sees the huge piles of paper on Romano's desk.
Luka: GOD, I HOPE THAT ISN"T PAPERWORK!
Romano: Of course it isn't. And take your fingers out of your ears. You look like a retard.
Luka: I CAN'T!
Romano: Goddamnit, stop screaming! You're getting on my nerves!
Luka: WHAT?!
Romano: STOP SCREAMING!
Luka: WHAT?!
Romano: *Grabs the sheet of paper that ends his list and adds: Number 470. You talk way too loud. Nobody wants you to whisper sweet nothings in their ears unless they have severe hearing loss. He then grabs a blank sheet of paper and a permanent marker and writes: Goddamnit, stop screaming! You're getting on my nerves!*
Luka: Oh. Sorry.
Luka is talking in a loud whisper. About as loud as his regular speech. But he can't tell.
Romano: *Writes it on paper* Read this. All of it. And try to get some help with your finger problem.
Luka: Sure can do! *he walks out*
Romano: I can't believe he's a doctor. I guess it is true. Everyone's retarded.
He starts working on some charts.
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Luka is now not only on a quest to get lucky, but also to get his fingers out of his ears. And that's a lot of work for him. Usually all he has to do is look pretty. It's a big change for him. Well to get started, he goes off to see if he can find somebody to pull his finger out.
Luka: Damn. Nobody's around. I need to get my fingers out. I know! I'll go up to surgery. Somebody had got to be up there.
Crow: BAWK!! Why are you talking out loud? Usually when people talk to themselves they talk in their head.
Luka: What?! I can't hear you.
Crow: BAWK! I'm a voice in your head.
Luka: Can I bang a voice in my head?
Crow: BAWK!! Wow. You are desperate.
Crow flies off, slightly scared because Luka is really. scary. He wants to put that storage closet to good use again.
Luka: Hmm. That was weird. Why'd she leave? I was offering her some service and she walks away. Ah well. I don't know how safe it is to do somebody with your fingers in your ears. I should work on that.
So Luka goes upstairs to get his fingers out.
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*
Back at the vending machines.
Crow: BAWK!! Hey everyone!
Everybody turn their heads, wanting to hear something good. Like if the vending machine dude had come to refill the butterfingers.
Carter: Is the vending machine dude here?
Abby: With butterfingers?
Crow: BAWK!! What's with you guys and butterfingers?
Chen: They're.good?
Crow: BAWK! Coke is good. Donuts are good. But I'm not so sure about butterfingers.
Pigeon: I wouldn't have said that if I were you.
Carter: I think you forgot something.
Pigeon: NO! I DIDN'T! I don't like saying CAW!! So shut up! Let me be!
Sam: Fine. You don't have to say it. But because you aren't saying it, you have to bring Luka down here. I want to laugh at him. He looks pretty stupid right now.
Pigeon: CAW!! Alrighty!
Sam: You CAW!!ed! Yay pigeon!
Pigeon: I like CAW!!ing. But I was bored and I figured you'd give me something to do.
Sam: How well do you know me?
Pigeon: CAW!! Well.
Sam: That was rhetorical. You aren't supposed to answer. Well, I'm coming with you. Cause I'm bored.
Pigeon: CAW!! Okay.
Sam and pigeon go off and find Luka. Everyone else is looking out the window for the vending machine dude.
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I know, it's taken me awhile. It isn't done, obviously. But I have homework and I should post this, right? Right. -Sam