Warnings: 5xR, yaoi (1x2), angst, after EW.
(Wufei: AC 207)
I was talking to a woman in the cafeteria the other day, and she told me that whenever her daughter is stuck in the hospital for chemotherapy, either she or her husband takes time off to stay in the room with her for day. The idea is appealing, so when I got back to the room, I asked the nurse on duty to find a cot and have it brought to Relena's room, so I'll be able to be with stay there all the time.
The way Relena looks at me, it seems that she would ask me not to stay if she knew I would actually listen. It's not that she doesn't want the companionship, it's more that she doesn't want to be a bother. She doesn't understand that it isn't a bother, that, if anything, it calms my nerves. Maybe now I'll be able to get some sleep at night.
(from the personal journal of Relena Peacecraft Dorlian)
November 12, AC 205
The test was positive, blue all the way. I wasn't sure it was correct at first, so I did a couple more, figuring it had best to try the good old two out of three. Both of the others came up positive as well, so tomorrow I'm going to sneak out right after lunch, when Wufei tends to fall asleep, and see the doctor, to find out what I should do.
I've already decided I'm not going to keep it. It's bound to be a carrier if I do, and according to some research, even carriers can suffer the effects sometimes. Also, I couldn't force a child to grow up without a mother, it wouldn't be fair to it. It wouldn't be fair to Wufei, either. I'm hoping the doctor will be able to recommend something quick and painless.
Wufei won't even have to know about it.
(Wufei: AC 207)
I discovered this morning that she's right, the vampires do come at five A.M. Since the nurse woke both of us when he came in for blood, I asked her after he left whether she knew if it was necessary for them to come in so early just for blood. She smiled and said that they need to get it done before the shift change at six, and it actually isn't that bad. After a while, apparently, you learn to sleep through it.
I think the only way she can keep from crying is to eternally joke. I tell it's okay to be upset, but she insists that she's perfectly fine, that nothing's wrong. Maybe, for her, she feels she needs to smile for the rest of us.
(from the personal journal of Relena Peacecraft Dorlian)
August 26, AC 206
This evening, when I was fixing dinner, my hands shook so much that I couldn't hold the pan, and it ended up on the floor. Wufei was in the den, and he rushed in when he heard the clatter of the pan hitting the floor. He saw the veggies all over the floor, and me just standing there, holding onto the counter in desperation, and demanded to know what had happened. I told him the pan had slipped out of my grasp, and suggested that we order pizza for dinner instead of my fixing it. I didn't trust my hands to not mess up anything else, and at least pizza was finger food, so I wouldn't have to worry about silverware when I ate.
He gave me a strange look at my suggestion, and I think he knew that I wasn't telling him something. The way things have been going lately, I don't think I'll be able to last much longer, which is a shame, because it's been nice to pretend that I have a normal life. It won't be normal anymore once he finds out... it's like the poem, "Things fall apart/The center cannot hold."