Chapter 5 - Fourth Year
Well, that would be three challenges. My god, I spent sixteen hours explaining that to them. I think the "historian" is still trying to come up with a fourth task. I checked back almost three hundred years. Three tasks. That's it. Three. Gits.
How else could I start my fourth year story than with the Quidditch World Cup? Merlin! What an experience. I've been since, and no doubt I'll go again, but that first one was fabulous, despite the entire Crouch thing. Oh, it was brilliant. I had already begun to think of what I was going to do in the oh-so-far-away future. I saw myself flying Seeker professionally that day, and dreamt about it that night, well until the Death Eaters showed up at least.
So my fourth year and the Tri-Wizard mess. I was so bloody embarrassed when the Goblet of Fire disgorged my name. I knew then I didn't put it in the cup, but Ron was so utterly brassed at me.
It was the first time without Ron by my side, and honestly it's where I learned that Ron and Hermione together made up my best friend. Because she was atrocious by herself; she really does need Ron to temper her, and she really isn't good with empathy.
I know Hagrid really did have my best interests at heart, and he really does find the most disturbing things fascinating, and he does have this thing for dragons. But how he could look at those monsters and not be shaken by plain abject terror is beyond me.
Telling Diggory about the dragons seemed to be the right thing to do, I knew for a fact Fleur and Viktor knew, and well - I just wanted everyone on the same foot.
I'll not lie, there's no point in it. I damn near wet myself that morning waiting for my Firebolt to arrive after performing the summoning charm. You know, to this day I am not sure why we didn't think of summoning the damned egg. Of course I was a bit preoccupied with the dragons as a whole, and it just never occurred to me to try something different. Ron says he thinks the eggs were charmed not to be able to be moved by magic.
Dragons are frightening things. Charley Weasley is a complete and utter prat by the way. Two years ago, that mindless git took me and Ginny on a trip to Romania to visit some old friends. Ginny thought I could use a few months abroad, and so we went with Charley expecting to find his friends at some sort of small village. He took us to that damned Dragon Reserve. You want to knmow a few things about dragons? Here's some tips for you:
They have excellent memories. This is completely true, they remember scents (this is important boys and girls), particularly the scent of anything that bonds with them or threatens them. They have excellent senses of smell. Miles, Charley tells me, miles away they can identify different a human smell out of a herd of sheep for example. There is a specific Hungarian Horntail that hates me.
As you may have guessed less than fifteen minutes after Apparating into the reserve, this bloody great dragon comes barreling down on us eyes looking at yours truly for a snack. Oh they stunned it, but as you can guess The Boy Who Lived became the Boy Who Messed His Pants. For any of you who think its funny, try it sometime. Have 5 tons of scaly muscle charge down on you bellowing because you took an egg that wasn't even hers to begin with, almost six years prior.
Charley of course thought this was all great fun, and met us in the tent with a wicked grin and a "so sorry Harry, forgot she's here." Charley Weasley is also a VERY VERY bad liar.
What story of my life would be complete without be opening of the book entitled "How To Have An Abysmal Love Life, by Harry Potter". Oh yes, perfect example: Cho Chang.
Cho and Cedric Diggory were already becoming something of an item, though I was far too thick to realize it, and in classic Potter fashion, I asked her out in the halls. It was simply the most mortifying experience I have ever had. On the other hand, my experience with Cho was nothing compared to Ron's feeble attempt to ask out Fleur.
This of course was compounded by us assuming that Hermione and Ginny would simply drop everything just to be with us. Wow, and I laughed when Fred and George turned Percy's Head Boy badge to say Bighead Boy. Prats I tell you, all boys are prats. I think its part of the grand order of things. See, if boys had even a modicum of tact and polish there would never be any learning done after age sixteen.
Then there was the ball itself. My god, I was beyond embarrassed. One of the key things in the life of someone from the U.K. is we are all taught at an early age (well muggles anyhow) to do anything at all to avoid embarrassment. Sadly, the wizarding world seems to thrive on this aspect of one's emotions. Making us muggle-born or muggle-raised children terrified out of our skulls.
So here we have muggle-raised children behaving like miniature adults, and wizard-raised children behaving like, well, children. Personally, I agree with the wizards, children need to be children. Merlin knows I didn't get a proper childhood, and seeing kids play is very important to me. Well, enough of that.
The ball was a terrific success, or at least that's how it was reported in the papers. However, asking other people will get you very different answers. So let's leave this night with it's (in some cases literally) painful experience behind us and proceed to the Second Task.
"Here is a model of the bottom of the lake at Hogwarts. The small city is where the merpeople live, and it's there that Harry Potter and the rest of the Tri-Wizard champions swam to recover their greatest treasure."
No, it's where Fleur, Cedric, Viktor and I swam, and it wasn't our greatest treasure, it's what we'd miss the most. God you people, sometimes I think you do this on purpose. Oh, and Viktor had the head of a shark, not a carp.
As for Fleur's sister? Gabby is a sweetheart and we see her now and then when she comes to England to visit Fleur. Fleur married Charley Weasley two years after the Tri-Wizard tournament. They had met then, and the letter exchange wore out four owls and some enormous waterfowl Charley had acquired when he couldn't find a post owl to deliver to France. It was frightening the first time I saw the great winged beast flop unceremoniously onto the kitchen table the first time. Hermione searched through books and finally declared it something of a cross between a duck and a Canadian Goose. I'm not sure how that is possible, but she reminded me of the Blast-Ended Screwts, and well that brings us back to the Fourth Year, doesn't it?
My family loves Hagrid very much, he's gentle as a lamb, and I'd place my life in his hands. Well, I mean I did while I was at Hogwarts taking classes with him, but well; he is a touch over the top when it comes to 'interesting creatures'. Typically creatures become more interesting as they become more deadly. I am honestly surprised we didn't find a family of Trolls living in his pumpkin patch. "Aren't they interestin' 'Arry?" He'd say just as they would attempt to kill us all. "Aw, yer frighten' 'em!" and he'd shoo us kids back like we had done something wrong. Merlin I'm glad he retired before my kids got to Hogwarts.
One afternoon, I had paperwork piled up and had honestly forgotten I had promised Megan and Mark a trip to the London Zoo. Ginny was at Ron and Hermione's house helping a very pregnant Hermione out with some housework.
The kids were looking at me like I had kicked their dog, and Hagrid showed up. 'There's a grand idea!' I thought to myself. 'Hagrid can take them to the Zoo!' I looked at my old friend and said. "Hagrid, could I impose a small favor?"
"Sure 'Arry. Whocha need?" His smile was apparent even through his beard.
"Could you take Mark and Megan to the London Zoo?"
"Course 'Arry! C'mon ya scamps!" Beaming with a pride that fairly glowed, Hagrid and my children walked out the door.
Ginny came home two hours later, just as I was finishing the last of the reports, and had poured myself a tall glass of lemonade, and had put my feet up enjoying the peace and quiet.
"Harry, where are the children?" Her eyes darted about.
"At the zoo." I said smugly.
"I do hope for your sake Harry James Potter you didn't send them there alone." Her eyes narrowed.
"Uh, no. Hagrid's with them."
The look of horror on her face had me in a panic. "WHAT? My children are running amok with Rubeus Hagrid? He'll have them trying to pet lions!"
Suddenly I got this nasty thought of the Blast-Ended Skrewts. My stomach did that horrible thing that stomachs do when you realize the worst is happening to your children. I could just see Hagrid now pushing them into a lions den. 'They're REALLY interestin'!"
"Oh god, what have I done?" Images of them traipsing through the Forbidden Forest "You're dad served detention 'ere.' Taking them to werewolf lairs, and the spiders Merlin how Ron had hated the spiders.
Suddenly the door was flung open and Hagrid came in all smiles. Megan and Mark were laughing and holding armloads of balloons, and miniature wax animals. Ginny looked as embarrassed as I did. Of course they went to the zoo. Hagrid would never do anything to allow harm to come of them.
Later that night, after Hagrid had gone home, Ginny and I were talking softly on the couch, the WWN playing in the background, when we saw one of the wax animals in detail. It was a Welsh Green Dragon. My eyes narrowed.
Ginny saw it, and looked at it. "Oh, they went to the London Zoo?" Stamped on the bottom of the figure's base was 'London Zoological Gardens and Mystical Beast Sanctuary'. I had honestly had no idea.
I slept on the couch that night. I think my ears were still ringing in the morning.
Ok then, on to task two. One of the questions I have had asked a number of times was what was it like to eat Gillyweed. Well, I think I can simulate it for you. On a day where you have an incredible head cold, half cook a mass of spinach. Wait for your sinus' to begin to drain, and then stuff the spinach in your mouth, and mix in some detergent for effect. Now, don't gag as you swallow. That's Gillyweed. Truly the most revolting thing I have ever placed in my mouth, and that's saying a bit, I've eaten Ron's cooking.
The Third (and final) task was actually quite easy (considering Viktor was under Imperius and Crouch was hexing off the bad stuff. I managed to hurt myself, enough so that Cedric Diggory being a loyal and truthful Hufflepuff helped me limping forward to take the cup. Lovely. Would have been quite a bit better I am sure if he had lived to appreciate it. From the moment Cedric reached for the cup he was a dead man.
The next few hours were hell. I returned to Hogwarts with the cup, and Cedric's body. It was damn near more than I could bear. Suddenly I felt something. The shining armor Albus Dumbledore wore in my mind began to appear slightly tarnished. He began to look old, and tired.
I try not to dwell on that night or on the Ministry Incident too much. When I find myself doing it, I go to my pensive.
Despite what everyone says Cedric died because of me. If I had been a bit more on edge. Crouch had been shouting at us 'Constant Vigilance!" all damn year. If I had not taken things at face value. If, if, if, if.
Perhaps I wouldn't have made such a mess of Cho Chang.
Harry Potter's thoughts on O.W.L.s. You have bloody well GOT to be kidding me. That's all there is to say really. Hermione kept us studying, and without her there is no way I would have received 8. Ron received 7 himself, and well let's just say Hermione set a record not yet broken at Hogwarts and leave it at that.
Well Mandy, shall we? Though I must say I'm not really looking forward to this, let's go on to my Sixth Year, shall we?
Well, that would be three challenges. My god, I spent sixteen hours explaining that to them. I think the "historian" is still trying to come up with a fourth task. I checked back almost three hundred years. Three tasks. That's it. Three. Gits.
How else could I start my fourth year story than with the Quidditch World Cup? Merlin! What an experience. I've been since, and no doubt I'll go again, but that first one was fabulous, despite the entire Crouch thing. Oh, it was brilliant. I had already begun to think of what I was going to do in the oh-so-far-away future. I saw myself flying Seeker professionally that day, and dreamt about it that night, well until the Death Eaters showed up at least.
So my fourth year and the Tri-Wizard mess. I was so bloody embarrassed when the Goblet of Fire disgorged my name. I knew then I didn't put it in the cup, but Ron was so utterly brassed at me.
It was the first time without Ron by my side, and honestly it's where I learned that Ron and Hermione together made up my best friend. Because she was atrocious by herself; she really does need Ron to temper her, and she really isn't good with empathy.
I know Hagrid really did have my best interests at heart, and he really does find the most disturbing things fascinating, and he does have this thing for dragons. But how he could look at those monsters and not be shaken by plain abject terror is beyond me.
Telling Diggory about the dragons seemed to be the right thing to do, I knew for a fact Fleur and Viktor knew, and well - I just wanted everyone on the same foot.
I'll not lie, there's no point in it. I damn near wet myself that morning waiting for my Firebolt to arrive after performing the summoning charm. You know, to this day I am not sure why we didn't think of summoning the damned egg. Of course I was a bit preoccupied with the dragons as a whole, and it just never occurred to me to try something different. Ron says he thinks the eggs were charmed not to be able to be moved by magic.
Dragons are frightening things. Charley Weasley is a complete and utter prat by the way. Two years ago, that mindless git took me and Ginny on a trip to Romania to visit some old friends. Ginny thought I could use a few months abroad, and so we went with Charley expecting to find his friends at some sort of small village. He took us to that damned Dragon Reserve. You want to knmow a few things about dragons? Here's some tips for you:
They have excellent memories. This is completely true, they remember scents (this is important boys and girls), particularly the scent of anything that bonds with them or threatens them. They have excellent senses of smell. Miles, Charley tells me, miles away they can identify different a human smell out of a herd of sheep for example. There is a specific Hungarian Horntail that hates me.
As you may have guessed less than fifteen minutes after Apparating into the reserve, this bloody great dragon comes barreling down on us eyes looking at yours truly for a snack. Oh they stunned it, but as you can guess The Boy Who Lived became the Boy Who Messed His Pants. For any of you who think its funny, try it sometime. Have 5 tons of scaly muscle charge down on you bellowing because you took an egg that wasn't even hers to begin with, almost six years prior.
Charley of course thought this was all great fun, and met us in the tent with a wicked grin and a "so sorry Harry, forgot she's here." Charley Weasley is also a VERY VERY bad liar.
What story of my life would be complete without be opening of the book entitled "How To Have An Abysmal Love Life, by Harry Potter". Oh yes, perfect example: Cho Chang.
Cho and Cedric Diggory were already becoming something of an item, though I was far too thick to realize it, and in classic Potter fashion, I asked her out in the halls. It was simply the most mortifying experience I have ever had. On the other hand, my experience with Cho was nothing compared to Ron's feeble attempt to ask out Fleur.
This of course was compounded by us assuming that Hermione and Ginny would simply drop everything just to be with us. Wow, and I laughed when Fred and George turned Percy's Head Boy badge to say Bighead Boy. Prats I tell you, all boys are prats. I think its part of the grand order of things. See, if boys had even a modicum of tact and polish there would never be any learning done after age sixteen.
Then there was the ball itself. My god, I was beyond embarrassed. One of the key things in the life of someone from the U.K. is we are all taught at an early age (well muggles anyhow) to do anything at all to avoid embarrassment. Sadly, the wizarding world seems to thrive on this aspect of one's emotions. Making us muggle-born or muggle-raised children terrified out of our skulls.
So here we have muggle-raised children behaving like miniature adults, and wizard-raised children behaving like, well, children. Personally, I agree with the wizards, children need to be children. Merlin knows I didn't get a proper childhood, and seeing kids play is very important to me. Well, enough of that.
The ball was a terrific success, or at least that's how it was reported in the papers. However, asking other people will get you very different answers. So let's leave this night with it's (in some cases literally) painful experience behind us and proceed to the Second Task.
"Here is a model of the bottom of the lake at Hogwarts. The small city is where the merpeople live, and it's there that Harry Potter and the rest of the Tri-Wizard champions swam to recover their greatest treasure."
No, it's where Fleur, Cedric, Viktor and I swam, and it wasn't our greatest treasure, it's what we'd miss the most. God you people, sometimes I think you do this on purpose. Oh, and Viktor had the head of a shark, not a carp.
As for Fleur's sister? Gabby is a sweetheart and we see her now and then when she comes to England to visit Fleur. Fleur married Charley Weasley two years after the Tri-Wizard tournament. They had met then, and the letter exchange wore out four owls and some enormous waterfowl Charley had acquired when he couldn't find a post owl to deliver to France. It was frightening the first time I saw the great winged beast flop unceremoniously onto the kitchen table the first time. Hermione searched through books and finally declared it something of a cross between a duck and a Canadian Goose. I'm not sure how that is possible, but she reminded me of the Blast-Ended Screwts, and well that brings us back to the Fourth Year, doesn't it?
My family loves Hagrid very much, he's gentle as a lamb, and I'd place my life in his hands. Well, I mean I did while I was at Hogwarts taking classes with him, but well; he is a touch over the top when it comes to 'interesting creatures'. Typically creatures become more interesting as they become more deadly. I am honestly surprised we didn't find a family of Trolls living in his pumpkin patch. "Aren't they interestin' 'Arry?" He'd say just as they would attempt to kill us all. "Aw, yer frighten' 'em!" and he'd shoo us kids back like we had done something wrong. Merlin I'm glad he retired before my kids got to Hogwarts.
One afternoon, I had paperwork piled up and had honestly forgotten I had promised Megan and Mark a trip to the London Zoo. Ginny was at Ron and Hermione's house helping a very pregnant Hermione out with some housework.
The kids were looking at me like I had kicked their dog, and Hagrid showed up. 'There's a grand idea!' I thought to myself. 'Hagrid can take them to the Zoo!' I looked at my old friend and said. "Hagrid, could I impose a small favor?"
"Sure 'Arry. Whocha need?" His smile was apparent even through his beard.
"Could you take Mark and Megan to the London Zoo?"
"Course 'Arry! C'mon ya scamps!" Beaming with a pride that fairly glowed, Hagrid and my children walked out the door.
Ginny came home two hours later, just as I was finishing the last of the reports, and had poured myself a tall glass of lemonade, and had put my feet up enjoying the peace and quiet.
"Harry, where are the children?" Her eyes darted about.
"At the zoo." I said smugly.
"I do hope for your sake Harry James Potter you didn't send them there alone." Her eyes narrowed.
"Uh, no. Hagrid's with them."
The look of horror on her face had me in a panic. "WHAT? My children are running amok with Rubeus Hagrid? He'll have them trying to pet lions!"
Suddenly I got this nasty thought of the Blast-Ended Skrewts. My stomach did that horrible thing that stomachs do when you realize the worst is happening to your children. I could just see Hagrid now pushing them into a lions den. 'They're REALLY interestin'!"
"Oh god, what have I done?" Images of them traipsing through the Forbidden Forest "You're dad served detention 'ere.' Taking them to werewolf lairs, and the spiders Merlin how Ron had hated the spiders.
Suddenly the door was flung open and Hagrid came in all smiles. Megan and Mark were laughing and holding armloads of balloons, and miniature wax animals. Ginny looked as embarrassed as I did. Of course they went to the zoo. Hagrid would never do anything to allow harm to come of them.
Later that night, after Hagrid had gone home, Ginny and I were talking softly on the couch, the WWN playing in the background, when we saw one of the wax animals in detail. It was a Welsh Green Dragon. My eyes narrowed.
Ginny saw it, and looked at it. "Oh, they went to the London Zoo?" Stamped on the bottom of the figure's base was 'London Zoological Gardens and Mystical Beast Sanctuary'. I had honestly had no idea.
I slept on the couch that night. I think my ears were still ringing in the morning.
Ok then, on to task two. One of the questions I have had asked a number of times was what was it like to eat Gillyweed. Well, I think I can simulate it for you. On a day where you have an incredible head cold, half cook a mass of spinach. Wait for your sinus' to begin to drain, and then stuff the spinach in your mouth, and mix in some detergent for effect. Now, don't gag as you swallow. That's Gillyweed. Truly the most revolting thing I have ever placed in my mouth, and that's saying a bit, I've eaten Ron's cooking.
The Third (and final) task was actually quite easy (considering Viktor was under Imperius and Crouch was hexing off the bad stuff. I managed to hurt myself, enough so that Cedric Diggory being a loyal and truthful Hufflepuff helped me limping forward to take the cup. Lovely. Would have been quite a bit better I am sure if he had lived to appreciate it. From the moment Cedric reached for the cup he was a dead man.
The next few hours were hell. I returned to Hogwarts with the cup, and Cedric's body. It was damn near more than I could bear. Suddenly I felt something. The shining armor Albus Dumbledore wore in my mind began to appear slightly tarnished. He began to look old, and tired.
I try not to dwell on that night or on the Ministry Incident too much. When I find myself doing it, I go to my pensive.
Despite what everyone says Cedric died because of me. If I had been a bit more on edge. Crouch had been shouting at us 'Constant Vigilance!" all damn year. If I had not taken things at face value. If, if, if, if.
Perhaps I wouldn't have made such a mess of Cho Chang.
Harry Potter's thoughts on O.W.L.s. You have bloody well GOT to be kidding me. That's all there is to say really. Hermione kept us studying, and without her there is no way I would have received 8. Ron received 7 himself, and well let's just say Hermione set a record not yet broken at Hogwarts and leave it at that.
Well Mandy, shall we? Though I must say I'm not really looking forward to this, let's go on to my Sixth Year, shall we?