I'm sorry for the wait but I've been on holiday so, there you go! Well,
here's chapter 6! Oh yes, this is going to be going on for a while. Yuppity
yuppity yup. This chapter will be mainly Hulkie (Incredible Hulk), Cykie
(Cyclops), Charles and Kurt, with maybe a sprinkling of Jean and Wolverine.
These characters have a reason behind them that I won't go into because it
takes too long. Ja. So onwards! Let the good times roll!
(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)
"Oh no! Hulkie is stuck in that giant blender in all his many different forms!" announced Charles loudly, "I used my mind powers to know that!" he added with a smug smile.
"We could tell that by looooooooking!" said Cykie.
"Wow, vhy did you say looking vith so many oos? Is zhere a deep meaning leading to a troubled past?" asked Kurt.
"Not really, I trod on this rusty nail when I was saying it that's all."
"I hate it when that happens."
"Yeah me too."
"Ahem."
"Yes Charles?"
"Well do you think it would be a good idea to help Hulkie?"
"Hang on a mo, Kurt's just helping me get this nail out."
"Tut tut." Said Charles rolling his eyes.
(Heh heh heh, David Bowies on the radio right now, Ashes to ashes if you want to know what song.)
"Cor it's a big un!"
"Yeah, stings a bit, hey there's a chunk of rust falling off there!"
"Oh yeah! Don't vant zhat getting stuck in your foot vhen it all heals up!"
"Look, will you two hurry up!"
"Patience Charles!"
"Ah! There it is! Vaaaa!"
PSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSFFFFFFF
The nail had gone sailing through the air when Kurt tripped over a Yak and landed point first into one of Charles's wheels. Uh oh!
"Zats an interesting angle you are at Professor!"
"DIE! DIE! EVERYBODY DIE!" shouted Charles.
"Yeeeeeah, I zink ve should go."
"I agree," said Cykie, and sure enough..
BAMF!
"So who do you reckon the evil genius behind this attack on Hulkie is then Kurt?"
"Vell, I zink."
"IT WAS I! MAJOR TOM!"
"That was unexpected."
"SILENCE! YOU TWO SHALL NEVER STOP ME FROM MAKING MY OWN RANGE OF NUTRITIOUS RANGE OF HULKIE FLAVOURED SOFT DRINKS!"
"ZOINKS! Vhat are you doing Cykie?"
"I am putting my footwear back on, I can't go saving Hulkie in my bare feat can I? Duh!"
"So vhat shoes are you vearing?"
"Ah! That is a secret only us X-Men know the answer to! What shoes we wear!"
"SILENCE! IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF THE SONG THAT FEATURES ME: MY MAMA SAID TO GET THINGS DONE, YOU BETTER NOT MESS WITH MAJOR TOM!"
"Didn't that song also say you were a junky?"
"DON'T BELIEVE ALL YOU HEAR!"
"Then I don't believe what you just said!"
"WHAT, ABOUT NOT BELIEVING ALL YOU HEAR?"
"No the bit before."
"I DON'T REMEMBER."
"Neither do I actually!"
"MY HEAD! IT HURTS TOO MUCH!"
And with that Major Tom keeled over and drooled slightly.
"Ja! You destroyed him!"
"Yes, without violence. That is something we all should do." At this point Cykie turned around to face where the camera would be.
"In life, we all face bad things. Whether it's poisonous fish, bad luck, confusing storylines or giant characters from songs stealing all the Hulks in the world and putting them in a giant blender to make nutritious Hulkie flavoured soft drinks, violence is the fool's ways out. If you can face up to you problems and deal with it without violence, it makes you a better person. I LOVE YOU GUYS!"
Charles then came flying into the scene carrying a large hammer.
"I forgot I'd changed my chair to a hoverchair! Anyway, that isn't Cykie!"
The Masses: GASP!
"But, how can you tell?" asked Kurt.
"Three reasons Kurt, when he stood on the rusty nail, there was a distinct lack of blood, no blood? That sounds suspicious to me!"
"Oh yeah, I didn't notice zhat!"
"Kurt, you were taking the nail out." Said Jean Jean.
"I vas?"
"Remind me never to accept any first aid from you in the future." Said Jean Jean.
"Hey, vhere did you come from Jean Jean?"
"Ahem, may I continue?" shouted Charles. "Thank you, now, number 2, Cykie managed to beat Major Tom by just shouting at it. An X-Man would never do that. It is our duty to destroy the enemy whilst causing as much property damage as possible, by shouting you cause no property damage, and Cykie has one of the best powers for causing property damage so why would he not use it?"
At this point the person who was impersonating Cykie began to edge away.
"Nein you don't!" said Kurt and 'ported over to it and held him in a tight hug.
"And the third reason?"
"Hmm?"
"The third reason Charles why you know that isn't the real Cykie?"
"Oh, he was sitting next to me when I got back in the van."
"Zat vould make sense, so, who's zis?" asked Kurt gesturing with wild head movements the impostor he was hugging.
"THAT is an evil piñata from Magneto's new Evil Piñata army."
DUN DUN DERERERERERER!
"We must destroy it!"
"But how do ve do zat Professor?"
"By exposing it to SPOONS!" and Charles whipped out a spoon with a flourish and waved it at the piñata. It wailed and disappeared with a POP!
"How did you know that Charles?" asked a gobsmacked Cykie, the real one.
"Well let's just say, everybody hurts sometimes."
"Hold on, hold on-"started Cykie.
"EVERYBODY HURTS!"
"No no no no!"
"Woah, I think we just slipped into REM there Prof." Breathed Cykie.
"Hmm.. quite perplexing."
"You're telling me!"
"Ahem! You vere explaining about ze Evil Piñata Army!" reminded Kurt.
"Oh yeah, well anyway, they can only attack on the beach and can only be destroyed with spoons and can make themselves look like other people, that's about it really," finished Charles and flew off doing loop the loops in his little Hover/Wheel chair.
"Our work is never done it seems," sighed Cykie.
"Ja. Um, vell you know my memory is not zat great, could you explain to me vhy ve are out here and over zhere is a giant blender with lot's of green Hulkies in?"
"How should I know? The Evil Piñata was there when we found out what it was. I have no idea why you're here."
"Vhere vere you vhen the Evil Piñata vas here?"
"That is a story for another day my friend, another day."
And they walked off arm in arm into the distance.
(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)
What an unexpected plot twist! Next chapter: the evil people are setting an ambush on the beach! DUN DUN DER! Major Tom was the evil soft drink making guy! I am really worried by the fact that every time I sit down at this computer to carry on with this and put on the radio, David Bowie comes on. It's creepy. Yes. Anyways, what a convenient plot twist! Evil Piñatas are taking over the beaches which just happens to be where the X-Men are! Coincidence or what! By the way, Hulkie was freed by a passing Stoat and lived happily ever after! Remember- IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY! DON'T LET IT GET AWAY!
(I just sat down to check this, and guess who's on the radio? Yup, David Bowie. Getting creepy now.)
Where did the spoon thing come from? Read Private Eye and yup, there's a bit called Me And My Spoon or something like that.
(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)
"Oh no! Hulkie is stuck in that giant blender in all his many different forms!" announced Charles loudly, "I used my mind powers to know that!" he added with a smug smile.
"We could tell that by looooooooking!" said Cykie.
"Wow, vhy did you say looking vith so many oos? Is zhere a deep meaning leading to a troubled past?" asked Kurt.
"Not really, I trod on this rusty nail when I was saying it that's all."
"I hate it when that happens."
"Yeah me too."
"Ahem."
"Yes Charles?"
"Well do you think it would be a good idea to help Hulkie?"
"Hang on a mo, Kurt's just helping me get this nail out."
"Tut tut." Said Charles rolling his eyes.
(Heh heh heh, David Bowies on the radio right now, Ashes to ashes if you want to know what song.)
"Cor it's a big un!"
"Yeah, stings a bit, hey there's a chunk of rust falling off there!"
"Oh yeah! Don't vant zhat getting stuck in your foot vhen it all heals up!"
"Look, will you two hurry up!"
"Patience Charles!"
"Ah! There it is! Vaaaa!"
PSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSFFFFFFF
The nail had gone sailing through the air when Kurt tripped over a Yak and landed point first into one of Charles's wheels. Uh oh!
"Zats an interesting angle you are at Professor!"
"DIE! DIE! EVERYBODY DIE!" shouted Charles.
"Yeeeeeah, I zink ve should go."
"I agree," said Cykie, and sure enough..
BAMF!
"So who do you reckon the evil genius behind this attack on Hulkie is then Kurt?"
"Vell, I zink."
"IT WAS I! MAJOR TOM!"
"That was unexpected."
"SILENCE! YOU TWO SHALL NEVER STOP ME FROM MAKING MY OWN RANGE OF NUTRITIOUS RANGE OF HULKIE FLAVOURED SOFT DRINKS!"
"ZOINKS! Vhat are you doing Cykie?"
"I am putting my footwear back on, I can't go saving Hulkie in my bare feat can I? Duh!"
"So vhat shoes are you vearing?"
"Ah! That is a secret only us X-Men know the answer to! What shoes we wear!"
"SILENCE! IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF THE SONG THAT FEATURES ME: MY MAMA SAID TO GET THINGS DONE, YOU BETTER NOT MESS WITH MAJOR TOM!"
"Didn't that song also say you were a junky?"
"DON'T BELIEVE ALL YOU HEAR!"
"Then I don't believe what you just said!"
"WHAT, ABOUT NOT BELIEVING ALL YOU HEAR?"
"No the bit before."
"I DON'T REMEMBER."
"Neither do I actually!"
"MY HEAD! IT HURTS TOO MUCH!"
And with that Major Tom keeled over and drooled slightly.
"Ja! You destroyed him!"
"Yes, without violence. That is something we all should do." At this point Cykie turned around to face where the camera would be.
"In life, we all face bad things. Whether it's poisonous fish, bad luck, confusing storylines or giant characters from songs stealing all the Hulks in the world and putting them in a giant blender to make nutritious Hulkie flavoured soft drinks, violence is the fool's ways out. If you can face up to you problems and deal with it without violence, it makes you a better person. I LOVE YOU GUYS!"
Charles then came flying into the scene carrying a large hammer.
"I forgot I'd changed my chair to a hoverchair! Anyway, that isn't Cykie!"
The Masses: GASP!
"But, how can you tell?" asked Kurt.
"Three reasons Kurt, when he stood on the rusty nail, there was a distinct lack of blood, no blood? That sounds suspicious to me!"
"Oh yeah, I didn't notice zhat!"
"Kurt, you were taking the nail out." Said Jean Jean.
"I vas?"
"Remind me never to accept any first aid from you in the future." Said Jean Jean.
"Hey, vhere did you come from Jean Jean?"
"Ahem, may I continue?" shouted Charles. "Thank you, now, number 2, Cykie managed to beat Major Tom by just shouting at it. An X-Man would never do that. It is our duty to destroy the enemy whilst causing as much property damage as possible, by shouting you cause no property damage, and Cykie has one of the best powers for causing property damage so why would he not use it?"
At this point the person who was impersonating Cykie began to edge away.
"Nein you don't!" said Kurt and 'ported over to it and held him in a tight hug.
"And the third reason?"
"Hmm?"
"The third reason Charles why you know that isn't the real Cykie?"
"Oh, he was sitting next to me when I got back in the van."
"Zat vould make sense, so, who's zis?" asked Kurt gesturing with wild head movements the impostor he was hugging.
"THAT is an evil piñata from Magneto's new Evil Piñata army."
DUN DUN DERERERERERER!
"We must destroy it!"
"But how do ve do zat Professor?"
"By exposing it to SPOONS!" and Charles whipped out a spoon with a flourish and waved it at the piñata. It wailed and disappeared with a POP!
"How did you know that Charles?" asked a gobsmacked Cykie, the real one.
"Well let's just say, everybody hurts sometimes."
"Hold on, hold on-"started Cykie.
"EVERYBODY HURTS!"
"No no no no!"
"Woah, I think we just slipped into REM there Prof." Breathed Cykie.
"Hmm.. quite perplexing."
"You're telling me!"
"Ahem! You vere explaining about ze Evil Piñata Army!" reminded Kurt.
"Oh yeah, well anyway, they can only attack on the beach and can only be destroyed with spoons and can make themselves look like other people, that's about it really," finished Charles and flew off doing loop the loops in his little Hover/Wheel chair.
"Our work is never done it seems," sighed Cykie.
"Ja. Um, vell you know my memory is not zat great, could you explain to me vhy ve are out here and over zhere is a giant blender with lot's of green Hulkies in?"
"How should I know? The Evil Piñata was there when we found out what it was. I have no idea why you're here."
"Vhere vere you vhen the Evil Piñata vas here?"
"That is a story for another day my friend, another day."
And they walked off arm in arm into the distance.
(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)(^)
What an unexpected plot twist! Next chapter: the evil people are setting an ambush on the beach! DUN DUN DER! Major Tom was the evil soft drink making guy! I am really worried by the fact that every time I sit down at this computer to carry on with this and put on the radio, David Bowie comes on. It's creepy. Yes. Anyways, what a convenient plot twist! Evil Piñatas are taking over the beaches which just happens to be where the X-Men are! Coincidence or what! By the way, Hulkie was freed by a passing Stoat and lived happily ever after! Remember- IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY! DON'T LET IT GET AWAY!
(I just sat down to check this, and guess who's on the radio? Yup, David Bowie. Getting creepy now.)
Where did the spoon thing come from? Read Private Eye and yup, there's a bit called Me And My Spoon or something like that.