The sun was setting on Bahia Bay. Six dong sounded in the church as a flock of birds left their spots on wire poles full of ads and cable hookups…
Life was good; yeah, everything was perfect and no one had a thing on their mind… wait what's that?
(Friday afternoon; Tish's house)
Tish: NOOO!
Tino/Carv/Lor: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry…
Tish: My statue!!! Do you guys have any idea how much time it took me to finish it?
Carv: From the looks of it, I'd bet… nine hours?
Tish: Yeah! ... Who told you? Anyway, the point is you guys can't just demolish everything each time you come over!
Lor: We didn't destroy everything! Only that statue and this… (Tino growls)
Tish: AND?!?
Tino: We'll just leave you with your sorrow Tish! Guys, let's go bother my mom…
(The trio gets the heck out of there)
Tish: Awww I didn't like anyway… and this clay smells weird!
(Outside Tish's house)
(Apart)
Tino: Hey there! As you guys can see, Tish was once more crushed by our collective clumsiness, and this time, it's gonna be pretty serious: it took her… (Carv gets in) Nine hours, twenty-nine minutes and sixtee… Thank you Carver! As I was saying, it took her really long time to finish that… ahem statue and it was her only hope to win the Shakespearian abstract art contest this Sunday…
Lor: We have to do something! Last time we did this, she was mad for a month and I couldn't get any help for my math!
Tino: Hey I can try to hel…
Carv: I'm okay with that as long as it doesn't involve wasting whole pieces of our weekend in artsy stuff.
Tino: I said, I think I can help you Lor with your mat…
Lor: Yeah well, how else do you think we can win a contest with "Shakespearian" in its name? It's gonna start this Sunday and judging from Tish's mood we're not gonna get any help from the pro department.
Tino: Ahem… About that math thing, eh… I think that I can hel…
Carv: Then let's move fast! First, let's get to that museum guy; we need to get the rules. I don't want to waste the whole weekend…
Lor: Let's roll!
Tino: You know, you can't imagine how enriching a conversation with you guys really is!
Lor: What?
Tino: Math sucks eh?
Lor: Tell me about it!
(Snack shack; Saturday morning)
Tino: Ok, we should be helping Tish, right?
Carv: Yep!
Tino: So, why are we eating chili cheese fries at the beach?
Carv: T, life is a question of priority!
Lor: Yeah that and he hasn't got any fries for ten minutes.
Tino: So, what if we can't get this thing right?
Lor: What do you mean?
Tino: Well, this contest is going to regroup the best, most artsy and tishy guys of the whole state and we guys are nothing more than mere amateurs in that matter!
Carv: Just trust me T, I've got it all planned out!
Tino: We don't even have the rules yet!
Carv: Then, I retract what I said; we're doomed.
(Saturday afternoon; Museum)
Museum dude: Hi there, how can I help you little nasty, filthy people?
Lor: Hey mister museum guy!
Carv/Tino: hey!
Tino: Ehh, we'd like to participate to the Shakespearian abstract art contest…
Museum dude: YOU want to sculpt an abstract form representing a Shakespearian play's moral?
Carv: Ehhh… If it's free!
Museum dude: Such a prestigious task requires a preliminary qualification. Please answer the following question: What does abstract mean?
Lor: EehhHh?
Museum dude: Mmh… good enough! Here are the rules; good luck to you!
Tino: Woowww! Lor, what have you been reading?
Carv: Let's assume it was a divine sign; we don't have time! Let's go!
(Still Saterday afternoon; Tino's house)
Lor: Ok, it says here we have to represent a Shakespearian play… abstractly… as a statue…
Carv: So, what does abstractly mean?
Lor: EehhHh?
Tino (on laptop): Yeah… well, the electronic encyclopedia of art says it means it basically has to make no sens…
Lor: EehhHh?
Carv: Well, that should be easy!
Lor: EehhHh?
Tino: Ok! Let's try this! (Photo of a statue made of toothpicks and polystyrene)
(Five minutes later)
Carv: This is not gonna work! (A bunch of toothpicks on an apple fall off)
Tino: Let's try this (Photo of a statue made of wires)
(Five minutes later)
Lor: Ok, that is not only the ugliest thing I've ever seen, it also gives me the creeps!
(Two wires attached to a rope fall down)
Tino: That's our last shot! (Photo of a statue made of metallic junk)
(Five minutes later)
Tino: Show of hands; who gives up?
Carv/Lor: Me!
Carv: Man, I don't know how Tish can stand doing this for fun!
(Tino throws a bunch of cans into the basket)
(Saturday night; Dinner table)
T Mom: You know, if I don't say anything, you were going to finish a whole plate of fried scarabs!
Tino: Glups!
T Mom: Ok, are you gonna do this communication thing or do you want me to read your thoughts the embarrassing way?
Tino: Ok…ok! So, we broke Tish's…
T Mom: …statue and now you guys have to make it up before the contest…
Tino: Mom! You promised you would give communication a chance!
T Mom: Tino, trying to make up for something you've done wrong is good; it's called responsibility, but what you are doing right now is obsessing over it and ruining your weekend and the weekends of your best friends… I'm sure Tish already fixed her statue by now.
Tino: No no no, this time, we really blew it! It took her…
Carv (Tino dreaming): Nine hours and…
Tino: Oy! I mean it took her really long to make this one…
T Mom: Nine hours?
Tino: Hey!
T Mom: Sorry…
Tino: So, you know how mad Tish can get when we break her stuff and don't respect her privacy? Well, this time, it's ten times worse!
T Mom (laughing): Sounds like you guys aren't gonna listen to me again and will find out on your own…
Tino: …wait a second! Scarabs don't have tentacles!
T Mom: I was trying to get your attention! I'm not sure what those are either!
(Apart)
Tino: So guys, did you see that too? I think my mom's powers are evolving to the point she'll be able to read everyone's thoughts at the same time! Worse, she might be telekinetic and I won't be able to think anything in her presence…
T Mom: If you stop thinking that, I'll pretend I didn't hear it.
(Sunday Morning; Tino's room; something is on the table under a box)
Tino: Ok, yesterday, we didn't really do anything good, right?
Lor/Carv: Mmh…
Tino: Well think again! (Removes the box) Tadaaa! (Reveals the garbage can with the wires, clay and toothpicks inside) It's abstract, artistic and its shape reminds me of a headache I got the first time I read Shakespeare! What do you think?
Lor/Carv: …
(Lor sneezes)
Tino: Thank you very much for your appreciation! I like it too…
Carv: T, it's not about the garba… I mean statue, it's just the smell of it! It's even worse than Tish's clay and that was the only thing that made us sneeze and break it in the first place.
Tino: Maybe with some smell-good, it would be ready for the contest?
Lor/Carv: Yep!
(Lor sneezes and falls on the garbage can-statue)
Lor: hehe… oops?
(Carv and Tino stare at Lor's t-shirt full of clay and wires then grin at each other)
(Sunday Afternoon; Museum Lobby)
Museum dude: Everyone, may I have your attention please?
Today's winner for the Shakespearian abstract art contest is Tish Katsufrakis with a magnificent broken statue representing the broken understanding of Shakespeare's masterpieces. The second prize will go to the mysterious trio of Lor Macquarie, Tino Tonitini and Carver Descartes with a Shakespearian T-shirt on a living statue; they also win the third price due to the absence of any other contestants other than Bluke.
Tish (mockingly): What are you guys doing here?
Tino: Well, we tried to make up for the statue we broke and…
Lor: It was Tino's idea!
Carv: I concur!
Tish: Hahaha… You know, you guys can embarrass yourselves with lesser means!
Tino: You are welcome Tish; it's natural to help after all…
Tish Aw I didn't mean that! Hey, let's go to Funville; I'll get chug-a-freezes.
Lor: Can I keep your t-shirt, Tino?
Tino: Sure! You could just give me back the three other ones you took to remove the clay in your hair.
(Apart)
Bluke (clay all around his mouth): I really did have a statue! Why do they make clay smell so good anyway?
(Sunday night; Funville)
Tish: I can't believe you guys! You sacrificed your whole Saturday doing stuff you hate just help me!
Carv: Hey, we did get you all three prizes!
Tish: I would have got them anyway; there were only us guys participating... and Bluke. But anyway, thanks; that really means a lot!
Carv: No problemo!
Lor: Does this mean you'll help me in math?
Tish: Well, you really should try to do it by yourself at first and see me only if you are stuck…
Lor: Aw man! That wasn't part of the plan!
Carv: Life has taught me that plans fail.
Lor: I got all this clay in my hair for nothing?
Tish: Ok! Fine, you guys really bothered yourselves this time, I'll help you… How did you get clay in your hair making a statue anyway?
Lor: I felt on it.
Tish: Oh. That explains a lot…
Tino: My mom is telekinetic so she can get anything out of anyone's hair! You could give that a shot!
Lor: Well, I'm desperate enough to accept.
(Tino's house Sunday night)
Lor: Thanks for helping me Mrs. Tonitini!
(She's brushing Lor's hair with weird green gel)
T Mom: Oh sure thing! So, where are Carver and Tish?
Tino: Carver just remembered he had math assigned too and Tish must be reading all those books she just won…
Lor: WE just won!
Tino: Or that YOU just won with your t-shirt!
Lor: So, what does telekinetic mean?
T Mom: OH! Tino, I will get you back for this!
Tino: It means she has the power of making things move and disappear with only a thought!
T Mom: Such as making your allowances disappear.
Lor: Wow! I wish laundry and math were telekinetic.
T Mom: Hop! And you're done! Your hair is as good as new… as soon as you remove the gel that is.
Lor: Cool! I'll take a shower. Thanks Again!
Tino: Ok, see you later…
T Mom: And I'll telekinetically make dinner…
(Dinner)
Tino: Mom, Are you using your powers on the dinner or is it still moving?
T Mom: Oh sorry bout that; I'll heat it up.
Tino: Mom? I…I have a question.
T Mom: As long as it's not about that green gel…
Tino: How is romance reflected on your emotional consciousness?
T Mom: You'll have to translate that into mom-compatible code…
Tino: You know… how did you feel when you first met dad?
T Mom: …Boy! That I needed a new outfit?
Tino: Hey, it's the first time I'm seriously accosting the subject of feelings without being forced to so making fun of it isn't exactly encouraging!
T Mom: Tino, you're still young and I can understand if you are curious but those things come with life and when it happens, you'll know, you know?
Tino: I have the feeling I'm listening to Carver talking about his shoes…
(See next chapter)