Chapter 17: Sharing time.
Title: Reunion time.
Author: Nikka
Author notes: Hi everyone, If you need to know about summary, rate and all the rest it's all in chapter 1 I'll just remind you that English is not my native tongue so you may find some spelling & grammar mistakes, you're more then welcome to let me know about them but remember you may find them while you read the story. Have fun.
Disclaimer: Angel & Buffy's characters are not my creation (wish they were) they belong to Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt. Other characters that are not familiar from the show do belong to me.
Author's remark: My chapters as of ch 12 will no longer be reproof by Sigma due to the fact that I have no internet and I'm asking someone else to post the remaining chapters for me. I want to take this opportunity and thank sigma for all the help. And I hope you will continue reading my story even without the excellent work sigma has done. Thank you again sigma for all your great work.
"What took you so long?" She greeted him as he entered the kitchen.
"Well I'm still sleepy, it's so late, or is it early?" He robbed his eyes and set on the Stoll in front of her.
"I thought you're suppose to be creature of night." She said sarcastically
"I'm a domesticated creature of the night." He replied with a sarcastic remark of his own.
"So what did you want to talk to about?" Cordelia didn't answer she just lowered her head and played with her fingers.
"Cor it's…" he looked at the clock. "Four thirty in the morning, I don't feel like playing 20 questions." Still no answer.
"Look Cor what ever I did, I think it would be best if we talk about it in the morning." He knew there is no way she'll wait till morning but he had to give it a try.
"So now you want to talk." She raised her head and said all of the sudden.
"I guess, but maybe not right now, like I said…" Cordelia cut him off.
"I woke up before, I had a nightmare." She said.
"Are you all right, if that's what you wanted to talk about we could have done it upstairs we didn't have to…"
"I couldn't go back to sleep." She kept on ignoring what he said. "I thought milk might work so I went to the kitchen..."
"Cor I hate to interrupt but is there a point to your story?" she looked him straight in the eyes. He had never seen that look before. It wasn't anger or fear it was a different look.
"I ran into Buffy." She said quickly.
"You what?"
"In the kitchen I saw Buffy, and we started to talk."
"What about?" Now he was intrigued.
"It doesn't matter, but she said something to me that…" She stopped.
"That what?" Angel was on the edge of his seat.
"She said that you…" Again she stopped, it was almost like the words refused to come out.
"That I what Cor? That I what?" He kept pushing.
"That you... that you…. Oh it can't be."
"What Cor? What can't be?" She didn't answer him. "Damn it Cordelia what did she say? What the hell did I say?" He jumped up from his seat and leaned towards her. This time he really raised his voice, almost shouted.
"That you love me, Okay that's what she said. Your ex told me that you love me, not in the friendly way but in the 'I want to have sex' way." She took a big breath not believing what she had just said. She looked at Angel he looked like the world just fell on him. He was in shock.
"Cor, I…." He mumbled not able to say much of anything, he leaned back.
After a few moments of silence she spoke. "Is it true?"
"I can't believe we're having this conversation." He looked at her.
"Well we are and I don't know what to do, or say. Right now I need to know if she is telling the truth and if she is why didn't you tell me?"
"Cor, come on." He said trying to explain.
"Come on what? You could tell your ex that you haven't seen in moths but you couldn't tell me? Your best friend? You did refer to me by that title didn't you?"
"Cordy, we don't have to be so official. You are my best friend and that's why I couldn't talk to you about this." She looked at him confused.
"Why not? I thought you could tell me anything, or was I wrong? Are there more things you've been keeping from me?"
"No?" he raised his voice again, he was obviously upset. "Just because I couldn't talk to you about one thing you assume I can't talk to you at all, you assume I've been keeping things from you? Thanks for the vote of confidents."
"Angel it's just that I can't believe you couldn't talk to me about this, that you couldn't tell me." She tried to explain and calm him down but the opposite happened. Angel jumped up from his seat and stood up facing her.
"And what was I suppose to tell you, ha Cor what was I suppose to say?" He leaned back against the wall, glancing at her from time to time. "That if my heart could beat it would beat a million time's faster when you enter the room, that I would give my life to keep you safe. That when I look at you I forget what I am and for a moment, a brief moment I can actually see us together as a couple, happy and in love. Don't you think I wish I could tell you, but for what? There's nothing I can give you. Sometimes I'm afraid that only thinking of you would cost me my soul, would cost me you. So I deny and repress and try to think of you as a friend. And when we lay in bed together I say to myself she's just a friend. And when I watch you sleep or touch your face I keep saying to myself 'just a friend, just a friend'. How could I have told you, what good would that do? I can never show you how much I really love you, I can never take you out for a walk on a sunny day or to take you to a romantic vacation. With me you get the night and the dark, the danger and pain. Everyone I ever loved, every one who ever loved me got hurt. Look at Buffy. I could never do to you what I did to her. Never." He lowered his head, not looking at her.
"Angel?" he didn't answer. "Angel please?" he looked up facing her.
"It's late you should get some sleep." He turned around and walked out
"Angel wait we need to talk about this." She got up and followed him out. "Angel?!" She cried out. "Stop for a second and talk to me." He stopped and turned around, his eyes seemed so sad.
"You throw this bomb on me and then when you said your peace you walk out without even hearing my side. That's not fair."
"Well Cordy life isn't always fair, I should know." He said sarcastically.
"Oh please stop with the bullshit. Are you seriously going to play the mortar with me? Did you forget who you're talking to?" He knew she was right that crap could work on some people even him, but not on her, never her.
"Okay." He said.
"Okay what?" She looked hesitated.
"Let's talk." Now she was terrified she never thought he would actually go for it. What in the hell is she suppose to say to him? All she could think of was…
"Shell we go to the living room." She asked and turned around but then she remembered.
"We can't Cor, Lorne's asleep.
"Then the kitchen, again." He nodded and they walked to the kitchen.
They set down, her on one Stoll and him on the stool across the counter. For a few seconds they just stared at the wall, no one really sure what to say.
"So." She broke the peace.
"So" he replied.
"You never did answer my question." She said.
"And what question was that?" He thought he said all he had to say, what could he have left out?
"You never told me if it was true? What Buffy told me?" Angel seemed surprised.
"I thought I made it pretty clear with my little speech before."
"Well I didn't want to assume. Remember what you told me about assuming." She teased him.
"Haaa." He said and then it was quiet and awkward again.
"Well we can't keep on seating here." He said. "You're the one who wanted to talk so go head, I think I did my share of sharing." He smiled.
"You're right, I wanted to talk so I should begin. So…"
TBC.
Hi ppl, I love your reviews, thank you, keep them coming.
I'm continuing this story even though I wanted to finish it by now, mostly because of your reviews, requests and interest in the story.
If you think you had enough just let me know and I'll cut it short, but then again, as long as I keep on getting reviews from people asking me to keep on writing the story I will. So keep reviewing.
Nikka.