Chapter 1: The Boy Who Lived.Through Something.
(Loud music begins and ends. An old man with a beard shows up on the corner of a common English neighborhood. Here, our story begins.)
Dumbledore~ Ugh. A cloned suburban neighborhood. *sees cat*
I see you've parked it on a wall again, Professor McGonagall.
McGonagall~ School's out. Nothin better to do. How did you ever recognize me?
D~ My dear professor, I've never seen a cat sit as though it had a wand up it's, uh, yes.
McG~ Hmmm. Interesting. You got the kid or what?
D~ Ye, we found him. Hagrid's playing slave and bringing him. We're dumpin him here.
McG~ You can't really leave him here! These people are wretched! I've watched them on this here wall all day! They.are very mean, ok?
D~ Precisely. We have to make the hero seem tragic and ill used. Don't you know that that's what sells?
McG~ I suppose.where's the hairy guy? *Roar of motorcycle interrupts her sentence*
D~Yo, Hagrid, my man! What's happinin?
Hagrid~ Yo, dawg! Got the kid. Screamed his ruddy scarred head off all the way to Bristol. Then he shut it. Here ya go! *dumps him in Dumbledore's arms*
D~ Thank You, homie. Here's the letter explaining about the evil dude.
Hag~ True dat, brotha.
McG~ Well, good-bye small 1-year-old we are leaving on the doorstep in the middle of the night for any nutcase to grab!
Hag~ *starts to cry* IT'S A HALLMARK MOMENT!
D~ Yes, shut it before the Muggles hear us. Good-bye---*dramatic music*
HARRY PYRO.
*silence*
McG~ Right, then, let's party!
Hag~Whoo-hoo! Da-na-danna-dana-da-da!
All~ Dan-na-danna-dana-da!
Hag~ Dan-na-danna-dana-da-da! Da-da-danna-da!
All~ TEQULIA!
(All except Harry pile on Hagrid's "borrowed" motorcycle that he took from Sirius Black and party till the owls come home.)
(Loud music begins and ends. An old man with a beard shows up on the corner of a common English neighborhood. Here, our story begins.)
Dumbledore~ Ugh. A cloned suburban neighborhood. *sees cat*
I see you've parked it on a wall again, Professor McGonagall.
McGonagall~ School's out. Nothin better to do. How did you ever recognize me?
D~ My dear professor, I've never seen a cat sit as though it had a wand up it's, uh, yes.
McG~ Hmmm. Interesting. You got the kid or what?
D~ Ye, we found him. Hagrid's playing slave and bringing him. We're dumpin him here.
McG~ You can't really leave him here! These people are wretched! I've watched them on this here wall all day! They.are very mean, ok?
D~ Precisely. We have to make the hero seem tragic and ill used. Don't you know that that's what sells?
McG~ I suppose.where's the hairy guy? *Roar of motorcycle interrupts her sentence*
D~Yo, Hagrid, my man! What's happinin?
Hagrid~ Yo, dawg! Got the kid. Screamed his ruddy scarred head off all the way to Bristol. Then he shut it. Here ya go! *dumps him in Dumbledore's arms*
D~ Thank You, homie. Here's the letter explaining about the evil dude.
Hag~ True dat, brotha.
McG~ Well, good-bye small 1-year-old we are leaving on the doorstep in the middle of the night for any nutcase to grab!
Hag~ *starts to cry* IT'S A HALLMARK MOMENT!
D~ Yes, shut it before the Muggles hear us. Good-bye---*dramatic music*
HARRY PYRO.
*silence*
McG~ Right, then, let's party!
Hag~Whoo-hoo! Da-na-danna-dana-da-da!
All~ Dan-na-danna-dana-da!
Hag~ Dan-na-danna-dana-da-da! Da-da-danna-da!
All~ TEQULIA!
(All except Harry pile on Hagrid's "borrowed" motorcycle that he took from Sirius Black and party till the owls come home.)