CHAPTER 1
On the way back to the mansion, someone wasn't taking the earlier meeting too well.
Jean sighed. "Calm down Scott. It didn't even tear your jeans."
"The Professor did not, and I mean DID NOT, mention a dog!" Scott fumed. "Much less a rabid hell hound incarnate!"
The three boys and the puppy were seated in the back of the SUV, all reasonably quiet.
"I'm, like, so sorry, Mr. Scott." Bane held his dog tightly in his lap. "I'm sure Sidus didn't mean to, y'know, bite you."
~He meant to rip Mr. Crabby's boxers off.~
Chang snickered, while Zantos remained silent with an evil grin on his face.
Jean pointedly glared at the little Japanese through the rear view mirror. ~I heard that, young man. That wasn't very nice.~
The kid looked back at her defiantly. ~If Michael Jackson can get more than a hundred nose jobs, Osama bin Laden can dive-bomb the twin towers, and George W. Bush can bomb Iraq for oil, then I can think what I like.~
Jean sighed again as she stepped on the gas. It was going to be a long drive back.
~Hey Lady! Don't I get any credit for knowing world events?~
Jean growled mentally. ~Zantos. Final warning.~
~What did I do?~
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
"Ah. I believe they'll be arriving shortly." Xavier turned and headed for the elevator. "Hank, Ororo and Logan, how about we go down and make our new recruits feel at home?"
"New recruits. Humph!" Logan grumbled. "Death sentences more like."
"Come now, Wolverine. You've been complaining since Scott and Jean left to pick them up."
"You don't know the destruction a kid, let alone an underage brat, is capable of."
"You don't have to be so negative, my friend." Hank smiled. "We'll just let paternal instincts do the job. After all, it's only three children. How hard could it possibly be?"
"Am I right to assume you're not married?"
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
The SUV slowed to a halt at the stop light downtown. The earlier hostility was no longer as thick as it used to be, and the children were finally behaving themselves.
"Miss Jean?"
"Miss Jean?"
"Miss Jean?"
Jean looked back at three grinning little faces. "Yes?"
"Can we open the door?"
"Just a teeny little bit?"
"Before the light, y'know, changes?"
"Well......."
"Please?"
"Please?"
"Please?"
"Alright. But only until the change of light."
With an eager scramble, the SUV door was pulled back halfway and the kids eagerly peeked out.
"Like, wow Zan! You're right! There really is a senior citizen on, y'know, the sidewalk!"
"You sure ojiisan is within range?"
"Yeah."
Wondering what they were talking about, Scott turned to look out the window. As Jean drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, she swore she heard an audible *bezap* before the hurried slam of the door.
Scott suddenly spun his head back around to stare dead ahead. "Jean. Speed it up a bit later."
"What happened?"
"Shanghai Kid back there just fried someone's toupee clean off."
"I was born in Beijing." Chang corrected him. "Anyway, I'm sure he'll be thankful."
"Yup." Zantos added. "Especially when a nice cool breeze blows by."
Indeed. It was definitely going to be a long, long trip back.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Jamie looked out the window in time to see the SUV pull over. "Looks like they're here."
"Great!" Another Jamie grinned. "I'm no longer the youngest!"
"Officially, the moment they come through the door." Added yet another Jamie. Soda cans 'clanked' as they toasted the occasion.
"Hey Nightcrawler. Why the jitters?" Bobby asked.
"I zink zey vill freak out vhen zey see me." Kurt fiddled with his tail nervously.
"You'll be fine. Let's go greet them. Coming, Gambit?"
Remy deserted the couch and joined the procession out to the living room.
Jean, Scott, three kids and a puppy entered the room.
"Now I want you to behave yourselves. And I mean all of you. Understood?" Jean was telling them.
Just at that minute, Lockheed got tired of trying to catch all the falling leaves in the garden and flew in.
The smallest boy saw Lockheed and his eyes promptly bulged out. "Like, HOLY COW!!!! What on earth did you, like, do to your dog?!?!"
"It's genetic engineering!!" Chimed the middle one, waving an encyclopedia. "It's gotta be!! It's all in the book!!"
"What's the big deal about Lockheed?" (Let us bow our heads in memory of these faithful last words.)
"He's behind this!!" The biggest accused. His finger was pointed directly at Remy LeBeau.
"PHILISTINE!!!!"
"BIGOT!!!!"
"MAGGOT!!!!"
"But Remy did no-AGGHHH!!!!"
Without another moment of delay, the three little nutcases pounced on the poor Cajun and disappeared in a cartoon-like cloud of dust and limbs. (Wait a minute. X-Men Evolution is a cartoon! At least, that's the listing in fanfiction.net)
"HURT HIM!!!!"
"BLEED HIM!!!!"
"KILL HIM!!!!"
The black puppy yawned. He grunted in Lockheed's direction, and the two curled up together behind the couch and slept through the chaos. (Isn't that mental picture the sweetest thing you could think of?)
Scott blinked, and then grabbed a pencil and started jotting down yet another idea under his 'How To Kill With Pain And Cliché' in a little notepad. I think he published his collection as a book which entered the Bestseller listings many years later. Now, wouldn't that make a great fanfic idea?
(Howling WereWolf gets bonked by a Pikachu squeaker toy, prompting her to quit interrupting and get on with the story.)
"Maybe someone should stop them?"
"Are you kidding? They're the only entertainment we have until the 'Rush Hour' rerun at seven!" Bobby was sitting cross-legged on the carpet with a bowl of nachos.
Jean left the room, shaking her head in defeat. With any luck, the Professor would have a more successful control the little savages than she did.
= * =
I got the idea of Scott calling Chang 'Shanghai Kid' from watching Shanghai Noon. I claim no ownership rights.
I think I might have fouled up Jamie and his whole cloning thing. The same goes to Gambit, some way or another, but I've no idea about French accent or whatnot. I hereby apologize to the purists and professionals.
Be also warned of more Remy-bashing. I don't hate him or anything, but inspiration works in funny ways.
What can I say? I'm an amateur.
= * = * = * =