Chapter 39: Gloom & Doom
Title: Reunion time.
Author: Nikka
Author notes: Hi everyone, If you need to know about summary, rate and all the rest it's all in chapter 1 I'll just remind you that English is not my native tongue so you may find some spelling & grammar mistakes, you're more than welcome to let me know about them but remember you may find them while you read the story. Have fun.
Disclaimer: Angel & Buffy's characters are not my creation (wish they were) they belong to Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt. Other characters that are not familiar from the show do belong to me.
Author's remark: My chapters as of ch 12 will no longer be reproof by Sigma due to the fact that I have no internet and I'm asking someone else to post the remaining chapters for me. I want to take this opportunity and thank sigma for all the help. And I hope you will continue reading my story even without the excellent work sigma has done. Thank you again sigma for all your great work.
She didn't hear anything. It was so quite. What happened? Why are they so quiet? I guess he told them but... the door opened and she turned to see who it was. Angel came in looking awful. She walked towards him.
"How was it? I heard some of the things they said... are you alright?" She reached out and touched his face.
He looked up at her. "Yeah. I saw it coming a mile away." He walked to the bed and laid on it, his arms spread out. She walked to him and sat on the bed by his side holding his hand.
"Oh baby..." she laid down beside him placing her head on his chest.
"They weren't mad or... they were just..." He sighed. "I don't know... numb, maybe. I guess numb is the best way to put it." He turned his head facing her. "You should have seen the look on his face... that's one face I never thought I'd see again." Cordy lost him on that part.
"Whose face?"
"Giles's. The last time I saw that look it snowed in Sunnydale. Think it happen again?" He smiled a bitter smile.
She knew how much it hurt him, especially when it came to Giles. Besides Buffy he suffered the most from the wrath of Angelus. She remembered it all.
"Its okay baby, its all over now." She knew she couldn't make the pain go away but maybe she could ease it.
"Hey are you alright? You hardly said a word since we heard the news." Buffy said. She was worried about him.
"I'm fine." His back was facing her, and until she saw his face she wasn't about to give up.
"Giles, look at me." She ordered.
"Buffy I'm fine, you don't have to..."
"You're not fine and I'm not leaving you alone until we talk about it." She raised her voice.
"Damn it Buffy." He turned to face her. "What do you want me to say? Ha? Do you want to hear how much it kills me inside to know that that beast will awake once more and kill innocent people, us? Or maybe you'd like to hear of all the horrified memories this brings up, Memories of finding Jenny dead, memories of seeing him laugh..." He choked, unable to go on. He couldn't crack in front of her, so he turned his back again trying to pull himself together, at least till he gets home.
"I'm sorry Giles I didn't mean to..." she placed her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry." She walked out leaving him alone to his thoughts.
It was awhile till they all managed to get it together. Xander thought this would be the best time to go to work, especially after missing a few days already. Willow and Tara went to class. Anya went to open the shop and Buffy drove Dawn to Scholl, an hour late to Dawn's rejoices. Giles needed some time alone and went home. And Spike took off. They decided they'd regroup and meet back at the house around five.
Now only the fang gang was left.
"I think I'll go downstairs." Cordy suggested.
"Sure." Angel mumbled.
"Are you coming?" She asked.
"No, not yet. I think I'll stay here for awhile." She didn't want to push him. She knew what he was going through.
"Okay. I'll be down stairs if you need me.
"Princess." Lorne greeted her as she came down the stairs. He was standing by the door next to Conor's pram wearing a very large hat.
"Going for a walk?" Cordy asked knowing the answer.
"Yeah. I thought; way should we stay in on such a wonderful day?" He smiled cheerfully.
"Needed some air ha?" Cordy knew the real reason.
"Sorry Cor, I just couldn't stay in this house for another second." He sighed. "I miss L.A." And with that he left.
"Have a wonderful time." She waved to them and made her way to the living room, where Wesley, Fred and Gunn were.
"Hey." She said to the gloomy faces staring back at her. "What's up?" She sat on the couch next to Fred who looked extra gloomy.
"We just heard our boss is going to turn into his alter ego and kill us all one by one." Fred replied in a sarcastic and weary tone.
"Okay then." Cordy knew she had her work cut out for her. "Guys can I talk to you for a second?"
"Shoot, we're all here." Gunn replied not taking his eyes of the wonder that is- the ceiling.
"Guys!" Cordy snapped at them. "I need your full attention. Can you, for 5 minutes stop staring at the ceiling/floor/shoes and look at me." This time it worked. They all focused on her. "I know the news caught you a bit off guard..."
"A bit???" Wesley cried out in surprise.
"And I know it's a lot to process." She ignored him and kept on. "But don't worry it will be alright." Cordy tried reassuring them. It didn't work much.
"How can we not worry? Do you know what he told us? Do you?" Fred lashed out at her forgetting for a moment it was Cordy who saw it all in the first place. "Oh sorry. You do know. Then you understand how we all feel. We're not like you Cordy. we don't handle those kind of news so calmly like you do." That last phrase was the last straw for Cordelia.
"You think I took it calmly? Is that what you really think?" She raised her voice as she stood up. "I was here 4 years ago when Angelus did his debut in Sunnydale. I was on the menu for months. I know what he's capable of."
"Cordy no one said..." Wesley tried to calm her down.
"I'm not finished." She yelled at him and he quieted down. "And you know, I didn't just see the future events, I felt them. Doyle wanted to give me a summary of recent events so he..."
"Recent events? And who's Doyle again?" Gunn cut her off.
"I told you, Doyle was the guy with the visions before Cordy. "Fred said to him quietly and quickly not to annoy Cordy.
Cordelia figured Angel didn't go into specifics, so she filled in the blanks. "When we arrived in the future it was after all the events took place." She was calmer now. "So Doyle ran a summary movie in my head of all that has happened till that point. The things Angel told you about, I saw and felt for myself. Every death and every pain. So I know how horrible you all feel." She sat back down. "I know Angelus too well, I wish I didn't." The memories of what she saw surfaced again. "I have nightmares of what I saw. I wake up screaming in fear ... fear of the man I love. I go to sleep wrapped in his arms and I wake up screaming still in his arms and I'm afraid to look at him, afraid of him touching me." Her voice cracked. "The things I've seen... you don't know, you just don't." She couldn't go on. She got up and walked to the kitchen. She didn't even notice Buffy standing at the doorway or Angel standing at the end of the staircase. They both heard it all.
"Maybe we should go after her?" Fred who felt bad about their behavior suggested.
"I'll go." Wesley was just about to get up when...
"No I'll go." They all looked up and saw Angel. "Its okay guys, I'll take care of it." He walked to the kitchen. They all looked at each other confused.
"Do you think he heard us?" Gunn asked.
"This is getting worse." Fred said in despair.
"Don't worry Angel will sort it out." This time it was Buffy. She walked into the living room. "I know this Angelus thing is new to all of you, maybe except you Wes, but don't worry. As a veteran I can only say that it will be alright in the end.
"I thought you send Angel to hell?" Fred asked confused.
"I did, but what that's got to do with this?" Buffy didn't get the question.
"Is your definition of alright is to send Angel to hell or kill him?" Fred asked angrily.
"If that's what I need to do to save the world, then yes." Buffy said without hesitation.
"How can you say that?" Fred got up and walked towards Buffy. "On one hand you say he's the love of your life and on the other you're willing to kill him? What are you? Do you have a heart of stone?" Fred was taking no prisoners.
"I'm the slayer and I have a human heart just like you. I have to make the choices that no one else is willing to make. Do you really think killing Angel was a walk in the park for me? Do you know what I went through? How much pain I was in?" Fred backed away a bit. "And I would do it all over again if I had to. And you know why?" Buffy looked at Wesley. "Ask Wes here, he'll tell you why." Buffy walked out and up the stairs.
Fred turned to Wesley amazed. "What was she talking about? Who does she think she is...?"
"The Slayer." Wesley said. "And as for her question; She'll do it because she's the slayer, that's her job."
"What? to kill the people she love?" Fred still didn't get it.
"No, to save the world. And she'll do anything and sacrifice anyone, including herself to save this miserable excuse of a world."
Fred looked at him with understanding. She remembered the stories about Buffy and how she died twice to save the world. She felt like an idiot. "I better go apologize." She said as she made her way to upstairs, not really expecting an answer.
"Hey." He said as he walked in. She was staring out the window.
"Hey." She replied not turning away from the window.
"Think you can let go of that ray of sunshine you're in and come talk to me?" He asked.
"I like it here, I feel safe." She whispered. Luckily he had super hearing.
"Cor? Talk to me. What happened? You were fine just 10 minutes ago? What's with the speech you gave our troops out there?" Obviously he didn't hear the entire conversation.
"I wanted to encourage them and ended up making it worse." She finally turned to face him closing the drapes in the process.
"That's better." He smiled and walked towards her.
"Will you love me no matter what?" She surprised him with her question.
"Is that a trick question?" He joked.
"No, seriously Angel. Will you?"
"Yes, always. Do you doubt my love to you? I think I've proved it more than..."
"No I don't doubt your love. I just wondered where the limit lays? What is the border line that once a person crossed it, he can't be loved, by anyone?"
"Cordy? I don't know where this is coming from, but if you're talking about Angelus?"
"I'm not. I can never love him. You have the same face but he lacks a soul. I love what you are Angel, who you are. Not just your appearance, although that's not bad either." She smiled. "I was wondering about myself. Thinking if there's a anything I can do that would make you stop loving me?"
"Except becoming a mass murder, I don't think so." He took her hands and kissed them softly.
"Of course not." She smiled. "I guess that speech went straight to my head." She laughed.
"Cordy are you sure you're alright? If there's something you want to say to me...?"
"I'm fine. I was a bit upset, but a kiss from you will make it all go away." She smiled as she leaned down and kissed him.
She knocked on the door, not really sure what to say. Hi I'm Fred and I'm insane, should do the job, right?
"Come in." She heard her voice.
"Here goes nothing." She took a big breath and opened the door. There she lay on the bed holding to a stuffed animal.
"I love pigs." God Fred you are insane or maybe a moron is a better phrase. Is that what you have to say; I love pigs?
"His name is Mr. Gordo." Buffy smiled and sat up. "Come in don't worry I won't bite." Fred walked in and left the door open, just in case. "Sit down." Buffy tapped on the bed and Fred joined her. "I'm sorry I lashed out on you, it's not your fault, you couldn't have known." Oddly enough it was Buffy who was apologizing to Fred.
"Actually I came up here to apologize for what I said down stairs." Fred corrected her.
"Its okay, its hard for people from the outside to understand, heck, sometimes even my friends don't understand." Buffy smiled. "You have to understand, all of you must; that Angelus is not something we can let happen. Angel knows it and so does Cordelia. If Angelus comes back I will have to stop him in any way I can." Buffy stressed that last part. "You see, what you probably don't know is that the last time it happened, it took us all by surprise and I didn't know how to cope. And by the time I did, he had already killed a friend of mine, actually a teacher I knew pretty well. Giles and her were... close, and it was hard for all of us. Especially Angel, that is when he returned form hell and faced Giles once again." Buffy paused looking at Fred who seemed to take it all pretty calmly. "I won't make the same mistake twice and Angel knows that. We'll do everything in our power to stop the vision form coming true, everything."
"Even kill Angel?" Fred asked not sure she really wanted to know the answer.
"No, never Angel." Fred smiled a smile of relief. "Only Angelus, always Angelus." And now the smile was gone.
"I understand. I can't imagine us getting that far but I understand." Fred said.
"I hope we won't come to that."
At five they were all back, even Spike. Giles seemed a bit calmer and Cordy joined them this time.
"Cordelia?" Giles who lead the meeting turned to her. "We heard the story from Angel, but what we didn't hear is; if you found a way to stop the Dorkanious?" All eyes were on her, staring at her, waiting for her answer, for their salvation.
This is the moment Cordy, this is what you waited for, just tell them what you know. Take them out of their misery. But how can I? What about Angel? He wouldn't understand. He wouldn't go along. I can't tell them. Not yet. God what am I supposed to do?
"Cordelia?" She heard Giles call her name waiting for an answer, they all waited. What was she to do?
TBC
Hi ppl,
Thank you for your wonderful reviews, you keep amazing me with each ch I post. I love reading the reviews of old and new readers, its so much fun. Daflippany you're so cute, thank you, and a special thanks to CordiAnne for her corrections. I learn from each and every one of them.
Hope you like this one; let me know what you think. And Carrieann I have no idea how many chapters are left. Why? are you getting board? Hope not.
Thanks Nikka.
Title: Reunion time.
Author: Nikka
Author notes: Hi everyone, If you need to know about summary, rate and all the rest it's all in chapter 1 I'll just remind you that English is not my native tongue so you may find some spelling & grammar mistakes, you're more than welcome to let me know about them but remember you may find them while you read the story. Have fun.
Disclaimer: Angel & Buffy's characters are not my creation (wish they were) they belong to Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt. Other characters that are not familiar from the show do belong to me.
Author's remark: My chapters as of ch 12 will no longer be reproof by Sigma due to the fact that I have no internet and I'm asking someone else to post the remaining chapters for me. I want to take this opportunity and thank sigma for all the help. And I hope you will continue reading my story even without the excellent work sigma has done. Thank you again sigma for all your great work.
She didn't hear anything. It was so quite. What happened? Why are they so quiet? I guess he told them but... the door opened and she turned to see who it was. Angel came in looking awful. She walked towards him.
"How was it? I heard some of the things they said... are you alright?" She reached out and touched his face.
He looked up at her. "Yeah. I saw it coming a mile away." He walked to the bed and laid on it, his arms spread out. She walked to him and sat on the bed by his side holding his hand.
"Oh baby..." she laid down beside him placing her head on his chest.
"They weren't mad or... they were just..." He sighed. "I don't know... numb, maybe. I guess numb is the best way to put it." He turned his head facing her. "You should have seen the look on his face... that's one face I never thought I'd see again." Cordy lost him on that part.
"Whose face?"
"Giles's. The last time I saw that look it snowed in Sunnydale. Think it happen again?" He smiled a bitter smile.
She knew how much it hurt him, especially when it came to Giles. Besides Buffy he suffered the most from the wrath of Angelus. She remembered it all.
"Its okay baby, its all over now." She knew she couldn't make the pain go away but maybe she could ease it.
"Hey are you alright? You hardly said a word since we heard the news." Buffy said. She was worried about him.
"I'm fine." His back was facing her, and until she saw his face she wasn't about to give up.
"Giles, look at me." She ordered.
"Buffy I'm fine, you don't have to..."
"You're not fine and I'm not leaving you alone until we talk about it." She raised her voice.
"Damn it Buffy." He turned to face her. "What do you want me to say? Ha? Do you want to hear how much it kills me inside to know that that beast will awake once more and kill innocent people, us? Or maybe you'd like to hear of all the horrified memories this brings up, Memories of finding Jenny dead, memories of seeing him laugh..." He choked, unable to go on. He couldn't crack in front of her, so he turned his back again trying to pull himself together, at least till he gets home.
"I'm sorry Giles I didn't mean to..." she placed her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry." She walked out leaving him alone to his thoughts.
It was awhile till they all managed to get it together. Xander thought this would be the best time to go to work, especially after missing a few days already. Willow and Tara went to class. Anya went to open the shop and Buffy drove Dawn to Scholl, an hour late to Dawn's rejoices. Giles needed some time alone and went home. And Spike took off. They decided they'd regroup and meet back at the house around five.
Now only the fang gang was left.
"I think I'll go downstairs." Cordy suggested.
"Sure." Angel mumbled.
"Are you coming?" She asked.
"No, not yet. I think I'll stay here for awhile." She didn't want to push him. She knew what he was going through.
"Okay. I'll be down stairs if you need me.
"Princess." Lorne greeted her as she came down the stairs. He was standing by the door next to Conor's pram wearing a very large hat.
"Going for a walk?" Cordy asked knowing the answer.
"Yeah. I thought; way should we stay in on such a wonderful day?" He smiled cheerfully.
"Needed some air ha?" Cordy knew the real reason.
"Sorry Cor, I just couldn't stay in this house for another second." He sighed. "I miss L.A." And with that he left.
"Have a wonderful time." She waved to them and made her way to the living room, where Wesley, Fred and Gunn were.
"Hey." She said to the gloomy faces staring back at her. "What's up?" She sat on the couch next to Fred who looked extra gloomy.
"We just heard our boss is going to turn into his alter ego and kill us all one by one." Fred replied in a sarcastic and weary tone.
"Okay then." Cordy knew she had her work cut out for her. "Guys can I talk to you for a second?"
"Shoot, we're all here." Gunn replied not taking his eyes of the wonder that is- the ceiling.
"Guys!" Cordy snapped at them. "I need your full attention. Can you, for 5 minutes stop staring at the ceiling/floor/shoes and look at me." This time it worked. They all focused on her. "I know the news caught you a bit off guard..."
"A bit???" Wesley cried out in surprise.
"And I know it's a lot to process." She ignored him and kept on. "But don't worry it will be alright." Cordy tried reassuring them. It didn't work much.
"How can we not worry? Do you know what he told us? Do you?" Fred lashed out at her forgetting for a moment it was Cordy who saw it all in the first place. "Oh sorry. You do know. Then you understand how we all feel. We're not like you Cordy. we don't handle those kind of news so calmly like you do." That last phrase was the last straw for Cordelia.
"You think I took it calmly? Is that what you really think?" She raised her voice as she stood up. "I was here 4 years ago when Angelus did his debut in Sunnydale. I was on the menu for months. I know what he's capable of."
"Cordy no one said..." Wesley tried to calm her down.
"I'm not finished." She yelled at him and he quieted down. "And you know, I didn't just see the future events, I felt them. Doyle wanted to give me a summary of recent events so he..."
"Recent events? And who's Doyle again?" Gunn cut her off.
"I told you, Doyle was the guy with the visions before Cordy. "Fred said to him quietly and quickly not to annoy Cordy.
Cordelia figured Angel didn't go into specifics, so she filled in the blanks. "When we arrived in the future it was after all the events took place." She was calmer now. "So Doyle ran a summary movie in my head of all that has happened till that point. The things Angel told you about, I saw and felt for myself. Every death and every pain. So I know how horrible you all feel." She sat back down. "I know Angelus too well, I wish I didn't." The memories of what she saw surfaced again. "I have nightmares of what I saw. I wake up screaming in fear ... fear of the man I love. I go to sleep wrapped in his arms and I wake up screaming still in his arms and I'm afraid to look at him, afraid of him touching me." Her voice cracked. "The things I've seen... you don't know, you just don't." She couldn't go on. She got up and walked to the kitchen. She didn't even notice Buffy standing at the doorway or Angel standing at the end of the staircase. They both heard it all.
"Maybe we should go after her?" Fred who felt bad about their behavior suggested.
"I'll go." Wesley was just about to get up when...
"No I'll go." They all looked up and saw Angel. "Its okay guys, I'll take care of it." He walked to the kitchen. They all looked at each other confused.
"Do you think he heard us?" Gunn asked.
"This is getting worse." Fred said in despair.
"Don't worry Angel will sort it out." This time it was Buffy. She walked into the living room. "I know this Angelus thing is new to all of you, maybe except you Wes, but don't worry. As a veteran I can only say that it will be alright in the end.
"I thought you send Angel to hell?" Fred asked confused.
"I did, but what that's got to do with this?" Buffy didn't get the question.
"Is your definition of alright is to send Angel to hell or kill him?" Fred asked angrily.
"If that's what I need to do to save the world, then yes." Buffy said without hesitation.
"How can you say that?" Fred got up and walked towards Buffy. "On one hand you say he's the love of your life and on the other you're willing to kill him? What are you? Do you have a heart of stone?" Fred was taking no prisoners.
"I'm the slayer and I have a human heart just like you. I have to make the choices that no one else is willing to make. Do you really think killing Angel was a walk in the park for me? Do you know what I went through? How much pain I was in?" Fred backed away a bit. "And I would do it all over again if I had to. And you know why?" Buffy looked at Wesley. "Ask Wes here, he'll tell you why." Buffy walked out and up the stairs.
Fred turned to Wesley amazed. "What was she talking about? Who does she think she is...?"
"The Slayer." Wesley said. "And as for her question; She'll do it because she's the slayer, that's her job."
"What? to kill the people she love?" Fred still didn't get it.
"No, to save the world. And she'll do anything and sacrifice anyone, including herself to save this miserable excuse of a world."
Fred looked at him with understanding. She remembered the stories about Buffy and how she died twice to save the world. She felt like an idiot. "I better go apologize." She said as she made her way to upstairs, not really expecting an answer.
"Hey." He said as he walked in. She was staring out the window.
"Hey." She replied not turning away from the window.
"Think you can let go of that ray of sunshine you're in and come talk to me?" He asked.
"I like it here, I feel safe." She whispered. Luckily he had super hearing.
"Cor? Talk to me. What happened? You were fine just 10 minutes ago? What's with the speech you gave our troops out there?" Obviously he didn't hear the entire conversation.
"I wanted to encourage them and ended up making it worse." She finally turned to face him closing the drapes in the process.
"That's better." He smiled and walked towards her.
"Will you love me no matter what?" She surprised him with her question.
"Is that a trick question?" He joked.
"No, seriously Angel. Will you?"
"Yes, always. Do you doubt my love to you? I think I've proved it more than..."
"No I don't doubt your love. I just wondered where the limit lays? What is the border line that once a person crossed it, he can't be loved, by anyone?"
"Cordy? I don't know where this is coming from, but if you're talking about Angelus?"
"I'm not. I can never love him. You have the same face but he lacks a soul. I love what you are Angel, who you are. Not just your appearance, although that's not bad either." She smiled. "I was wondering about myself. Thinking if there's a anything I can do that would make you stop loving me?"
"Except becoming a mass murder, I don't think so." He took her hands and kissed them softly.
"Of course not." She smiled. "I guess that speech went straight to my head." She laughed.
"Cordy are you sure you're alright? If there's something you want to say to me...?"
"I'm fine. I was a bit upset, but a kiss from you will make it all go away." She smiled as she leaned down and kissed him.
She knocked on the door, not really sure what to say. Hi I'm Fred and I'm insane, should do the job, right?
"Come in." She heard her voice.
"Here goes nothing." She took a big breath and opened the door. There she lay on the bed holding to a stuffed animal.
"I love pigs." God Fred you are insane or maybe a moron is a better phrase. Is that what you have to say; I love pigs?
"His name is Mr. Gordo." Buffy smiled and sat up. "Come in don't worry I won't bite." Fred walked in and left the door open, just in case. "Sit down." Buffy tapped on the bed and Fred joined her. "I'm sorry I lashed out on you, it's not your fault, you couldn't have known." Oddly enough it was Buffy who was apologizing to Fred.
"Actually I came up here to apologize for what I said down stairs." Fred corrected her.
"Its okay, its hard for people from the outside to understand, heck, sometimes even my friends don't understand." Buffy smiled. "You have to understand, all of you must; that Angelus is not something we can let happen. Angel knows it and so does Cordelia. If Angelus comes back I will have to stop him in any way I can." Buffy stressed that last part. "You see, what you probably don't know is that the last time it happened, it took us all by surprise and I didn't know how to cope. And by the time I did, he had already killed a friend of mine, actually a teacher I knew pretty well. Giles and her were... close, and it was hard for all of us. Especially Angel, that is when he returned form hell and faced Giles once again." Buffy paused looking at Fred who seemed to take it all pretty calmly. "I won't make the same mistake twice and Angel knows that. We'll do everything in our power to stop the vision form coming true, everything."
"Even kill Angel?" Fred asked not sure she really wanted to know the answer.
"No, never Angel." Fred smiled a smile of relief. "Only Angelus, always Angelus." And now the smile was gone.
"I understand. I can't imagine us getting that far but I understand." Fred said.
"I hope we won't come to that."
At five they were all back, even Spike. Giles seemed a bit calmer and Cordy joined them this time.
"Cordelia?" Giles who lead the meeting turned to her. "We heard the story from Angel, but what we didn't hear is; if you found a way to stop the Dorkanious?" All eyes were on her, staring at her, waiting for her answer, for their salvation.
This is the moment Cordy, this is what you waited for, just tell them what you know. Take them out of their misery. But how can I? What about Angel? He wouldn't understand. He wouldn't go along. I can't tell them. Not yet. God what am I supposed to do?
"Cordelia?" She heard Giles call her name waiting for an answer, they all waited. What was she to do?
TBC
Hi ppl,
Thank you for your wonderful reviews, you keep amazing me with each ch I post. I love reading the reviews of old and new readers, its so much fun. Daflippany you're so cute, thank you, and a special thanks to CordiAnne for her corrections. I learn from each and every one of them.
Hope you like this one; let me know what you think. And Carrieann I have no idea how many chapters are left. Why? are you getting board? Hope not.
Thanks Nikka.