Chapter 41: "I say a little prayer for you..."
Title: Reunion time.
Author: Nikka
Author notes: Hi everyone, If you need to know about summary, rate and all the rest it's all in chapter 1 I'll just remind you that *English is not my native tongue* so you may find some spelling & grammar mistakes, you're more than welcome to let me know about them but remember you may find them while you read the story. Have fun.
Disclaimer: Angel & Buffy's characters are not my creation (wish they were) they belong to Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt. Other characters that are not familiar from the show do belong to me.
Author's remark: My chapters as of ch 12 will no longer be reproof by Sigma due to the fact that I have no internet and I'm asking someone else to post the remaining chapters for me. I want to take this opportunity and thank sigma for all the help. And I hope you will continue reading my story even without the excellent work sigma has done. Thank you again sigma for all your great work.
By the time they finished telling the rest about Cordy's little discovery, and putting Conor to sleep they were beat. Angel fell on the bed his eyes closed, wishing to never get up again. He lay there for a few minutes feeling the tiredness surrounding him. He wasn't about to move for anyone. And then He smelled the familiar smell he loved so. He raised his head looking at the door waiting for it to open knowing who will be on the other side. The door slowly opened, and as if in a slow motion, she came in, a towel wrapped around her head, wearing nothing but a bath rub. She had that scent he couldn't describe, that intoxicating scent. He couldn't help himself; as soon as she closed the door behind her he jumped up and wrapped his hands around her waists.
She was startled, but only for a second. She craned her neck to look at him. "Hey there?" She smiled at him. "I guess that means you missed me for the entire 20 minutes I was gone." She teased him.
He smiled taking her scent. "I couldn't resist that smell. God you smell so wonderfully." He took a big sniff.
She smiled. She loved seeing him like that, all happy and silly. That was the Angel she liked. She didn't mind them bickering, that was okay by her. But the fighting, the real ones she hated.
"Did I tell you how sorry I am?" He held her, pressing her body close to his. She laid her head back, resting on his shoulders.
"Yes you did, and you don't have to keep saying it." She couldn't be angry with him for long, she never could, even when he came back to them asking for their forgiveness almost a year ago she wasn't angry with him for long. He had that something that made him seem vulnerable to her. Besides, right now she was the one who needed to do the apologizing, not him. "Angel... I think it is I who should be apologizing to you, after all..."
"Shhh..." He whispered as he placed his finger on her lips. "No more talking." He ordered as he walked towards the bed holding her hand. She let him lead her, she knew what he wanted, cause she wanted the same thing. Of course she couldn't get everything, but there were others things she could have and that is what she wanted, now more then ever. He lay on his side on the bed, looking at her standing by the bedside. She stood there looking anxious. "Hey you, come join me." He tapped on the mattress next to him.
"Angel are you sure we should do that after all we are still..." he felt the need to interrupt her.
"Its okay, I know the risk and we won't go that far, we won't lose ourselves, I just want to feel you, to hold you."
"No that's not what I meant. I know that you'll be careful, I trust you completely." She said to his surprise.
**What else was there? Why is she resisting what they both want.** "Cory then what?"
"This, whatever this is will change everything between us. We're about to take this relationship one step further and I'm not sure it's the smart thing to do. I know I want too but I'm scared. Scared I'll end up losing my best friend.
He smiled. "Cordy things have changed between us. We can never go back to just being good friends and nothing more. We took that leap when we admitted our true feeling towards each other. This is just another way to show our mutual love for one another. There's nothing to be scared off, I'm right here, and I'm not leaving." His words were sweet and comforting, but reality kept twirling in her mind. The future was out there and she couldn't ignore it. And right then she decided something, something pivotal. She decided to live like there's no tomorrow, to love him with all her heart, not to hold back. And with a smile She joined him and lay on the bed beside him. She lay on her side facing him. "I never thought I could have this, I never thought I was worthy enough."
"You didn't believe you deserve something?" He asked surprised, after all this is queen C.
"No." She laughed. "You see, I always thought that everything bad that has happened to me in the past 3 years was a payback from life for the way I was." A part of him felt sorry for her, he knew she was strong, but felt sad that she thought she had so wrong in the world that se deserves so much pain and misery. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, that I feel like I did something right, cause I got you, and I don't think I would have if I was still the old self-observed Cordy. Does it make any sense to you?"
"Yeah it does, but you got it wrong." She looked at him surprised. "It is I who must have proven worthy enough to have you in my life not the other way around." He leaned towards her and kissed her. She lay back as he lay on top of her kissing her passionately. "I love you." He whispered in her ear.
"I love you too." She reciprocated.
***
"So am I staying or going?" He asked, as he lay in her bed naked.
"I don't think you should go through the front door. You can climb out the window." She offered.
"Buffy. You can't invite me to stay over and then dump me through the back door. It doesn't work like that."
"It's the back window, not door?" She hoped humor will light him up a bit, but it didn't. He just looked infuriated. "Come on spike, what do you want from me? Its hard for me as it is."
"And you don't think it's hard for me?" He sat up. "I had to pretend I was leaving so that Willow and your baby sister won't know I stayed over. God Buffy you sneaked me in when no one was looking and now you try to chase me out the same way?"
"So what do you suggest I'll do? Let you stay here for the rest of the night and tomorrow morning you, me, Dawn, Tara, Angel, Cordelia and their Demon friend could have breakfast together, that is until Xander comes over to pick Dawn up?" She said sarcastically.
"Now when you put it like that." He did see her point in someway, but still.
"You can't stay here and sneak away in the morning, without anyone noticing you. And I'm not ready to tell them about us. I don't even know what us is? They wouldn't understand, I barely do."
"I don't expect you to love me, I acknowledge that fact sometime ago, but I at least expect you to respect me, and respect us." He looked at her and saw her rolling her eyes. "And I guess you don't." He got up and put his pants on. "I thought we were on to something here, I thought there was hope. What? Was it the thought of me leaving that made you change your mind? Or was it the thought of my penis leaving?"
"That's not fair." She sat up. "I never said that."
"You didn't have to, luv, that's the beauty of our so-called relationship. You rang and I show up to serves you. Isn't that so?" She didn't know what to answer him. On some level he was right. "I think I'll go now." He turned to the front door.
"Spike?" She called his name and he turned to see her glancing at the window.
"But of course. Servants only use the service entrance, never the front." He turned and walked to the window.
"Spike I..." She didn't know what she wanted to say.
"Spare me, please. What ever you'll say will just sound fake just like you, just like us." He turned and climbed out the window.
***
"I want to go home." He whispered to her.
"Stop whining." She had enough of him complaining. She wanted to go home as much as he did. She missed her bed, their breakfast together, the hotel, and their lives. She had enough of Sunnydale. They both did.
"I feel like we've been here for weeks." He said in disperse.
"Come on Gunn, it's barely been a week."
"I know, but I hate staying here on this folded sofa, I hate using someone else's bathroom, I hate eating someone else's food I hate..."
"I guess they hate it too." She interrupted his self-pity speech. "I bet Both Xander and Anya, especially Anya, wished we were gone also. Not like us, they're engaged to be married; they have wedding plans on their minds. The last they need is you and I hanging around." She turned to face him on the small bed and took his hand in hers. "So stop complaining and hold me." She smiled at him and that's all he needed to forget his troubles. She turned her back to him as he wrapped his around her and fell asleep.
***
"No, no, no." She screamed in her sleep.
"Cordy wake up, its just a dream, wake up." He shook her gently to wake her up. She opened her eyes and sat up all at once.
"What happened?" She asked, but soon understood, when she started to remember.
"Another nightmare?" He asked and she nodded to confirm.
"God, they just keep on coming. And they're so vivid, almost like a vision." She lowered her head and held it in her hands, trying to calm herself.
"What are they about? Is it the future? Cause if it is, maybe its just another side effect of you being a part demon. Maybe now you can get visions when you sleep?" If only he knew how true his theory was.
"No. They're not about the future, at least nothing new. They're just nightmares." She had to lie; she had to reject his theory.
"So what are they about?" He asked curiously.
"I can't remember." She said hoping he'll let go of the subject.
"Nothing? Not even a fragment." No he wasn't about to let it slide.
"No nothing." She snapped at him as she got up and walked to the window. She needed some fresh air.
He came up to her and stood behind her wrapping his arms around her waists. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." He honestly thought he was the one to blame.
**I'll burn in hell for this, I know I will** She thought to herself as she said: "Its okay, never mind." She looked out the window staring at the moon, thinking another day past by, another day close to the... "I miss home." She sighed
"Me too, and as soon as this Dorkanious business is done, we'll be on our way out of here." He kissed her neck.
"I guess I always knew I'll be back here someday, I just never thought I'll stay."
"But you're not staying, at least not for long."
She smiled staring at the moon. "No I guess I'm not."
"Come on, let's go to sleep." He took her hand and led her to bed.
***
It was early in the morning. Angel was still asleep, so was the rest of the house. But she couldn't sleep. She got up quietly, knowing that every sound will wake him up. She took something from her bag, grabbed her robe and walked out on her tiptoes. Once she was out she put her robe on and quietly walked down the stairs and into the living room. On the sofa Lorne was sleeping. She walked towards him and set on the coffee table as she gently shook him. "Lorne, wake up! Lorne?"
"What? Ha? Who is it? He yelled out, and she quickly put her hand on his mouth.
"Shhh, be quiet it's only me."
"Cordy? you scared me half to death." Lorne who came to said after she removed her hand. "What time is it?"
"It depends. Some say late, I say early."
Lorne glanced at his watch. "I say early also. It's 5:30 in the morning; I'm supposed to be asleep. And I was having such a wonderful dream."
"Lorne." She grabbed his chin and turned his face so he was facing her. "Concentrate, I need your help."
"Okay." He nodded his head "What do you need?"
"I need you to do a few errands for me, but first I need you to promise not to tell anyone about this."
"In everyone to you also mean Angel-boy?" Lorne hoped he wouldn't have to hide things from Angel.
"Especially Angel-boy... I mean Angel. Can you do that?"
"Cor, I'm not so good with the laying and deceit."
"You won't lie to them. Just keep it under warps till its time."
"How will I know when its time?"
"You'll know, Lorne. You'll know." She looked sad.
"What do you need me to do?" He was up for the job.
"Take these." She handed him a piece of paper. "And when its time do as it says in the note." She took out 4 letters and handed them to him. On each of them was a name.
"What is it?" He asked as he looked through the letters and saw his name, Angel, Conor, her parent's name. "Cordy are you not telling me something? Is this a Dear John letter with a twist?"
"Lorne no question. Just don't open them yet. Keep them safe and hidden. When the time comes, just deliver them, that's all, nothing more."
"Do I dare ask what's in the note?" He looked at it. It was still folded.
"Lorne?"
"I know, I know, no questions." He figured that one out on his own.
"You're the only one I can trust with this. It's important to me, I hope you understand that?"
"I do princess, but I think I know where you're heading with this and I have to say I don't like this one bit." Lorne knew there was more to her vision than she led on.
"If you know, then keep it to yourself." She was about to get up when Lorne reached out and grabbed her arm.
"Give me a little hug will you, I have a feeling we should do this now." She smiled, knowing he'll do as she asked. She sat on the sofa and they hugged. Tiny tears came down her cheek.
"Lorne?" She said still hugging him. "Will you sing me a song?"
"What would you like to hear?" He didn't let go.
"Something beautiful, something peaceful. Something that won't wake the entire house." She smiled.
"I think I got just the thing." They broke the hug but she stayed on the sofa waiting for her song. Lorne cleared his throat and began to sing: "the moment I wake up..." Cordy started smiling. "Before I put on my make up..." He glanced at her.
"I say a little prayer for you..." She filled in the lines.
TBC
***
Hi ppl,
Before I start getting hate mail, I just wanted to stress that I never promised a happy ending. Now that that's out of the way, please review this chapter. Its really important to me to know what you thought of it, the story is coming to an end and every review is important to determine the next step. The power is yours.
Thank you for all you reviewers, I love every one of them.
P.S.
Paging, paging people who can re-proof my next story. I have two chapters ready and I asked someone to re-proof them for me, but unfortunately he's too busy so I'm asking you guys. If there's anyone out there that can do this and has free time, please send me an e-mail or a review.
Thanks Nikka.
Title: Reunion time.
Author: Nikka
Author notes: Hi everyone, If you need to know about summary, rate and all the rest it's all in chapter 1 I'll just remind you that *English is not my native tongue* so you may find some spelling & grammar mistakes, you're more than welcome to let me know about them but remember you may find them while you read the story. Have fun.
Disclaimer: Angel & Buffy's characters are not my creation (wish they were) they belong to Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt. Other characters that are not familiar from the show do belong to me.
Author's remark: My chapters as of ch 12 will no longer be reproof by Sigma due to the fact that I have no internet and I'm asking someone else to post the remaining chapters for me. I want to take this opportunity and thank sigma for all the help. And I hope you will continue reading my story even without the excellent work sigma has done. Thank you again sigma for all your great work.
By the time they finished telling the rest about Cordy's little discovery, and putting Conor to sleep they were beat. Angel fell on the bed his eyes closed, wishing to never get up again. He lay there for a few minutes feeling the tiredness surrounding him. He wasn't about to move for anyone. And then He smelled the familiar smell he loved so. He raised his head looking at the door waiting for it to open knowing who will be on the other side. The door slowly opened, and as if in a slow motion, she came in, a towel wrapped around her head, wearing nothing but a bath rub. She had that scent he couldn't describe, that intoxicating scent. He couldn't help himself; as soon as she closed the door behind her he jumped up and wrapped his hands around her waists.
She was startled, but only for a second. She craned her neck to look at him. "Hey there?" She smiled at him. "I guess that means you missed me for the entire 20 minutes I was gone." She teased him.
He smiled taking her scent. "I couldn't resist that smell. God you smell so wonderfully." He took a big sniff.
She smiled. She loved seeing him like that, all happy and silly. That was the Angel she liked. She didn't mind them bickering, that was okay by her. But the fighting, the real ones she hated.
"Did I tell you how sorry I am?" He held her, pressing her body close to his. She laid her head back, resting on his shoulders.
"Yes you did, and you don't have to keep saying it." She couldn't be angry with him for long, she never could, even when he came back to them asking for their forgiveness almost a year ago she wasn't angry with him for long. He had that something that made him seem vulnerable to her. Besides, right now she was the one who needed to do the apologizing, not him. "Angel... I think it is I who should be apologizing to you, after all..."
"Shhh..." He whispered as he placed his finger on her lips. "No more talking." He ordered as he walked towards the bed holding her hand. She let him lead her, she knew what he wanted, cause she wanted the same thing. Of course she couldn't get everything, but there were others things she could have and that is what she wanted, now more then ever. He lay on his side on the bed, looking at her standing by the bedside. She stood there looking anxious. "Hey you, come join me." He tapped on the mattress next to him.
"Angel are you sure we should do that after all we are still..." he felt the need to interrupt her.
"Its okay, I know the risk and we won't go that far, we won't lose ourselves, I just want to feel you, to hold you."
"No that's not what I meant. I know that you'll be careful, I trust you completely." She said to his surprise.
**What else was there? Why is she resisting what they both want.** "Cory then what?"
"This, whatever this is will change everything between us. We're about to take this relationship one step further and I'm not sure it's the smart thing to do. I know I want too but I'm scared. Scared I'll end up losing my best friend.
He smiled. "Cordy things have changed between us. We can never go back to just being good friends and nothing more. We took that leap when we admitted our true feeling towards each other. This is just another way to show our mutual love for one another. There's nothing to be scared off, I'm right here, and I'm not leaving." His words were sweet and comforting, but reality kept twirling in her mind. The future was out there and she couldn't ignore it. And right then she decided something, something pivotal. She decided to live like there's no tomorrow, to love him with all her heart, not to hold back. And with a smile She joined him and lay on the bed beside him. She lay on her side facing him. "I never thought I could have this, I never thought I was worthy enough."
"You didn't believe you deserve something?" He asked surprised, after all this is queen C.
"No." She laughed. "You see, I always thought that everything bad that has happened to me in the past 3 years was a payback from life for the way I was." A part of him felt sorry for her, he knew she was strong, but felt sad that she thought she had so wrong in the world that se deserves so much pain and misery. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, that I feel like I did something right, cause I got you, and I don't think I would have if I was still the old self-observed Cordy. Does it make any sense to you?"
"Yeah it does, but you got it wrong." She looked at him surprised. "It is I who must have proven worthy enough to have you in my life not the other way around." He leaned towards her and kissed her. She lay back as he lay on top of her kissing her passionately. "I love you." He whispered in her ear.
"I love you too." She reciprocated.
***
"So am I staying or going?" He asked, as he lay in her bed naked.
"I don't think you should go through the front door. You can climb out the window." She offered.
"Buffy. You can't invite me to stay over and then dump me through the back door. It doesn't work like that."
"It's the back window, not door?" She hoped humor will light him up a bit, but it didn't. He just looked infuriated. "Come on spike, what do you want from me? Its hard for me as it is."
"And you don't think it's hard for me?" He sat up. "I had to pretend I was leaving so that Willow and your baby sister won't know I stayed over. God Buffy you sneaked me in when no one was looking and now you try to chase me out the same way?"
"So what do you suggest I'll do? Let you stay here for the rest of the night and tomorrow morning you, me, Dawn, Tara, Angel, Cordelia and their Demon friend could have breakfast together, that is until Xander comes over to pick Dawn up?" She said sarcastically.
"Now when you put it like that." He did see her point in someway, but still.
"You can't stay here and sneak away in the morning, without anyone noticing you. And I'm not ready to tell them about us. I don't even know what us is? They wouldn't understand, I barely do."
"I don't expect you to love me, I acknowledge that fact sometime ago, but I at least expect you to respect me, and respect us." He looked at her and saw her rolling her eyes. "And I guess you don't." He got up and put his pants on. "I thought we were on to something here, I thought there was hope. What? Was it the thought of me leaving that made you change your mind? Or was it the thought of my penis leaving?"
"That's not fair." She sat up. "I never said that."
"You didn't have to, luv, that's the beauty of our so-called relationship. You rang and I show up to serves you. Isn't that so?" She didn't know what to answer him. On some level he was right. "I think I'll go now." He turned to the front door.
"Spike?" She called his name and he turned to see her glancing at the window.
"But of course. Servants only use the service entrance, never the front." He turned and walked to the window.
"Spike I..." She didn't know what she wanted to say.
"Spare me, please. What ever you'll say will just sound fake just like you, just like us." He turned and climbed out the window.
***
"I want to go home." He whispered to her.
"Stop whining." She had enough of him complaining. She wanted to go home as much as he did. She missed her bed, their breakfast together, the hotel, and their lives. She had enough of Sunnydale. They both did.
"I feel like we've been here for weeks." He said in disperse.
"Come on Gunn, it's barely been a week."
"I know, but I hate staying here on this folded sofa, I hate using someone else's bathroom, I hate eating someone else's food I hate..."
"I guess they hate it too." She interrupted his self-pity speech. "I bet Both Xander and Anya, especially Anya, wished we were gone also. Not like us, they're engaged to be married; they have wedding plans on their minds. The last they need is you and I hanging around." She turned to face him on the small bed and took his hand in hers. "So stop complaining and hold me." She smiled at him and that's all he needed to forget his troubles. She turned her back to him as he wrapped his around her and fell asleep.
***
"No, no, no." She screamed in her sleep.
"Cordy wake up, its just a dream, wake up." He shook her gently to wake her up. She opened her eyes and sat up all at once.
"What happened?" She asked, but soon understood, when she started to remember.
"Another nightmare?" He asked and she nodded to confirm.
"God, they just keep on coming. And they're so vivid, almost like a vision." She lowered her head and held it in her hands, trying to calm herself.
"What are they about? Is it the future? Cause if it is, maybe its just another side effect of you being a part demon. Maybe now you can get visions when you sleep?" If only he knew how true his theory was.
"No. They're not about the future, at least nothing new. They're just nightmares." She had to lie; she had to reject his theory.
"So what are they about?" He asked curiously.
"I can't remember." She said hoping he'll let go of the subject.
"Nothing? Not even a fragment." No he wasn't about to let it slide.
"No nothing." She snapped at him as she got up and walked to the window. She needed some fresh air.
He came up to her and stood behind her wrapping his arms around her waists. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." He honestly thought he was the one to blame.
**I'll burn in hell for this, I know I will** She thought to herself as she said: "Its okay, never mind." She looked out the window staring at the moon, thinking another day past by, another day close to the... "I miss home." She sighed
"Me too, and as soon as this Dorkanious business is done, we'll be on our way out of here." He kissed her neck.
"I guess I always knew I'll be back here someday, I just never thought I'll stay."
"But you're not staying, at least not for long."
She smiled staring at the moon. "No I guess I'm not."
"Come on, let's go to sleep." He took her hand and led her to bed.
***
It was early in the morning. Angel was still asleep, so was the rest of the house. But she couldn't sleep. She got up quietly, knowing that every sound will wake him up. She took something from her bag, grabbed her robe and walked out on her tiptoes. Once she was out she put her robe on and quietly walked down the stairs and into the living room. On the sofa Lorne was sleeping. She walked towards him and set on the coffee table as she gently shook him. "Lorne, wake up! Lorne?"
"What? Ha? Who is it? He yelled out, and she quickly put her hand on his mouth.
"Shhh, be quiet it's only me."
"Cordy? you scared me half to death." Lorne who came to said after she removed her hand. "What time is it?"
"It depends. Some say late, I say early."
Lorne glanced at his watch. "I say early also. It's 5:30 in the morning; I'm supposed to be asleep. And I was having such a wonderful dream."
"Lorne." She grabbed his chin and turned his face so he was facing her. "Concentrate, I need your help."
"Okay." He nodded his head "What do you need?"
"I need you to do a few errands for me, but first I need you to promise not to tell anyone about this."
"In everyone to you also mean Angel-boy?" Lorne hoped he wouldn't have to hide things from Angel.
"Especially Angel-boy... I mean Angel. Can you do that?"
"Cor, I'm not so good with the laying and deceit."
"You won't lie to them. Just keep it under warps till its time."
"How will I know when its time?"
"You'll know, Lorne. You'll know." She looked sad.
"What do you need me to do?" He was up for the job.
"Take these." She handed him a piece of paper. "And when its time do as it says in the note." She took out 4 letters and handed them to him. On each of them was a name.
"What is it?" He asked as he looked through the letters and saw his name, Angel, Conor, her parent's name. "Cordy are you not telling me something? Is this a Dear John letter with a twist?"
"Lorne no question. Just don't open them yet. Keep them safe and hidden. When the time comes, just deliver them, that's all, nothing more."
"Do I dare ask what's in the note?" He looked at it. It was still folded.
"Lorne?"
"I know, I know, no questions." He figured that one out on his own.
"You're the only one I can trust with this. It's important to me, I hope you understand that?"
"I do princess, but I think I know where you're heading with this and I have to say I don't like this one bit." Lorne knew there was more to her vision than she led on.
"If you know, then keep it to yourself." She was about to get up when Lorne reached out and grabbed her arm.
"Give me a little hug will you, I have a feeling we should do this now." She smiled, knowing he'll do as she asked. She sat on the sofa and they hugged. Tiny tears came down her cheek.
"Lorne?" She said still hugging him. "Will you sing me a song?"
"What would you like to hear?" He didn't let go.
"Something beautiful, something peaceful. Something that won't wake the entire house." She smiled.
"I think I got just the thing." They broke the hug but she stayed on the sofa waiting for her song. Lorne cleared his throat and began to sing: "the moment I wake up..." Cordy started smiling. "Before I put on my make up..." He glanced at her.
"I say a little prayer for you..." She filled in the lines.
TBC
***
Hi ppl,
Before I start getting hate mail, I just wanted to stress that I never promised a happy ending. Now that that's out of the way, please review this chapter. Its really important to me to know what you thought of it, the story is coming to an end and every review is important to determine the next step. The power is yours.
Thank you for all you reviewers, I love every one of them.
P.S.
Paging, paging people who can re-proof my next story. I have two chapters ready and I asked someone to re-proof them for me, but unfortunately he's too busy so I'm asking you guys. If there's anyone out there that can do this and has free time, please send me an e-mail or a review.
Thanks Nikka.