AN: Just a quick note to say thanks to you all for your continued reviews
but don't stop now! . It's for people like you that authors write. More
chapters to come so I hope you all will continue to enjoy the story. I
used one of my favourite poems in this chapter, Invictus by William Ernest
Henley. It is not my poem, so don't think that it is mine because it's
not!! Just want to be totally clear on that. : D Well, on with the story.
~@@@@@~
Chapter 10~
"Dammit Amio!"
Usagi practically threw Amio into a chair when they had reached a safe distance from Seiya and Kakyuu. Now that the initial shock had worn off, fury washed over Usagi; fury driven by the core of fear and doubt that had settled in Usagi over the last few weeks.
"I'm sorry Usagi! I really am! I didn't know that they shouldn't know your real name, honestly!" Amio's eyes widened as he pleaded with Usagi. " Please don't be angry. They probably didn't even connect you with the girl that they from so long ago."
Usagi stood before him, her anger fading slightly as she looked at Amio and found no deceit in his amber eyes. If he was lying, he was doing a really good job. He is probably right, Usagi conceded to herself as she slunk into an overstuffed chair next to Amio, her cerulean eyes pensive as she mulled her options. Seiya and Kakyuu were probably more taken aback by her strange behaviour than by Amio using her real name. Usagi is a rare name, and it might have triggered a long buried memory, but not a full-blown recollection. Usagi felt better now that she was evaluating the situation in a calm and collected manner, rather than letting herself fall into a full-blown panic. Glancing at Amio, she found him watching her guardedly, as if he was not quite sure he was forgiven. ' I must have really scared him.' Usagi thought to herself wryly, ' Who'd have thought I have the power to make grown men quake?'
" Don't worry Amio, I'm not going to chop your head off." Usagi said, patting his hand gently. " I was just in shock. I'm sorry if I came down a little hard on you."
Amio's relief was obvious but he just nodded his head in reply. Watching the myriad of people in the ballroom, Usagi thought of how they all were oblivious of the turmoil in her heart and her true purpose here. Now that she was away from Seiya, she thought about the much-anticipated first meeting. To say that it was electric was an understatement. From the moment she had first touched his hand it seemed her soul was on fire. Usagi closed her eyes at the memory of his body beneath her hands, and his arm clasping her waist tightly. Flushing slightly, Usagi opened her eyes, thinking rightly that this wasn't the right time for those kind of thoughts. Seiya was exactly like she remembered him, charming, a little arrogant but sweet and intense as hell. Now that he was older, these attributes seemed magnified, leaving Usagi more than a little breathless. The downside to the situation was that Usagi still didn't have a clue of what she was going to do. The Queen had told Usagi earlier that the conferences were almost over, therefore in two days Kakyuu and her Seishi would be leaving. Usagi knew that this was her last chance, she would not be given another. Strangely, this reality was slightly comforting, it meant that Usagi would have an answer at least in the next 48 hours. Usagi knew that she had to find Luna, and together they would come up with a plan. At this exact moment though Usagi knew that she needed air....and perhaps something strong to drink.
" I'm going to get some air." Usagi stood smoothing she skirts, " If Luna is looking for me, could you please let her know that I need to talk to her later?"
Picking up her skirts, Usagi turned to leave when suddenly Amio's arm shot out like a serpent and caught her forearm in his strong grip. Startled Usagi turned to Amio who had not moved from his chair save for his arm. His golden eyes were solemn and his face was expressionless as he stared at Usagi. Like a deer caught in headlights Usagi felt frozen in place by his piercing gaze. "Amio?" she queried softly, slightly unsettled by his somber façade.
" Is he worth it?"
" Is wh-"
" Is he worth it?" Amio repeated, interrupting Usagi. Standing he drew her closer until her face was a few inches from his. Placing his hands on either side of her face he captured her lips in a gentle and slightly hesitant kiss. Too shocked to respond Usagi let the kiss continue, allowing its warmth to spread throughout her body. Taking her compliance as a sign that she welcomed the kiss, Amio opened his mouth slightly drawing Usagi in, engulfing her with the passions that he had stored in his core. Almost despite herself Usagi felt the heat rise in her belly as she pressed her body to Amio's, her skin tingling as it mingled with his. To Amio's credit it was a good kiss....a very, very good kiss. It was the kind of kiss that made a girl's bones melt; and with her arms around Amio's broad shoulders, Usagi could almost imagine that it was Seiya she was with. Almost. This realization hit Usagi like a bucket of ice cold water, and she drew back, her lips still burning from their heated exchange. Staring at Amio's handsome face and his once guarded eyes that now sparkled with the intensity of his no longer hidden feelings, Usagi realized that whatever she felt for Amio, it could not compare with the love she felt for Seiya. Even if Seiya rejected her, she still loved him and therefore still had to try. Running her hand through Amio's ginger hair, she brushed a few silken strands away from his amber eyes, stroking her hand on his smooth cheek.
" Yes, he is. " Usagi whispered, the emotions still raging through her.
His head lowered, Amio drew away slowly, his shoulders slumping in a silent defeat. Turning he threaded his way through the crowd that passed by, impervious to what just happened. Usagi watched him go, saddened that Amio was hurt, but realizing there really was nothing she could do. It seemed that she did this too often, first to Seiya, then to Mamoru and now to Amio. The three men that she had let get close to her she had ended up wounding. It was a sobering track record, and suddenly Usagi felt ashamed as she passed through the large double doors of the ballroom to the expansive courtyard outside. Strolling in the shadowed beauty of the garden, she let her thoughts wander as the silence soothed her jagged nerves. In each case she felt as if she was doing the right thing, and had followed her heart even at the expense of her feelings or others. It would have been easier to stay with Mamoru or to give in to Amio's feelings, but she knew in her heart that would not be the right path.
Stopping at a bridge overlooking a small creek, she looked at the Palmian sky with its three moons gently illuminating the gardens with their subdued light. Homesickness and loneliness washed over Usagi like a wave and she wished that she was home, with her friends and her old job. Looking down at the water, she saw her reflection looking serenely back, masking the tumultuous emotions within. Suddenly a droplet of water disturbed the placid surface, and Usagi realized that she was crying. Using her fingertips to wipe away the streaks of moisture, Usagi looked up at the sky and closed her eyes. Slowly, from the recesses of her mind a thought came from the darkness. It was a poem the she had read shortly after the breakup with Mamoru, and it had given her strength in a difficult time. Slowly she began reciting the lines she had memorized those many years ago, finding herself comforted by the sound of her voice reverberating in the stillness.
"Out of the night that covers me, Black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeoning of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gale, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul."
Opening her eyes, Usagi repeated the last lines of the poem, as if to burn them into the very fibre of her being. " I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul."
" That is an interesting saying."
Startled Usagi swung around to see Seiya standing behind her half concealed in the shadows, watching her with half closed eyes. Usagi had no idea how long he had been standing there, or if he had seen what happened with Amio; and Usagi thought it wise not to ask. Turning back to the water, Usagi struggled to calm the rapid beating of her heart.
" It is not a saying, it is a poem."
Usagi could feel the shift in the air as he came to the railing beside her, his back leaning against the stone columns. She could feel his eyes on her but she couldn't bring herself to look at him, not just yet.
" Is it your poem your highness?"
Usagi stood, straightening her skirts almost reflexively. This cat and mouse game that they performed around each other left Usagi's nerves taught like the strings of a violin, and she wondered who would pounce first.
" It is not my poem. A man wrote it from my planet many, many years ago. I found it during an unhappy time in my life, and I repeat it to myself whenever I feel that I need a little strength "
" What brought it to your mind now Princess?"
Shrugging Usagi turned to Seiya, pausing a moment before answering. "Haven't you ever felt a little lost or unsure of yourself, thinking that you have made a mistake? Haven't you ever wanted to silence all the doubts in your mind and remind yourself that you are doing the right thing? "
Usagi watched Seiya's lithe frame leaning against the railing like a crouching panther. His eyes were still covered, concealing his thoughts from her. Slowly, a wry grin crossed his face, the whiteness of his teeth gleaming in the shadows.
" Yes I have Odango."
Turning away from her, Seiya leaned against the railing as Usagi had been, his ebony hair falling over his shoulders, pooling on his hands like silken threads. Cautiously Usagi moved to stand beside him, watching his face reflected on the water's surface. His face seemed neither happy nor angry, just pensive at the turn of events.
" I knew. From the moment I passed you in the hallway today, I knew." His voice made Usagi start, so absorbed she was in reading Seiya's cryptic expression. " I had only felt that..feeling once before, but that was enough. I'll never forget that feeling for the rest of my life, even though I tried. When I saw you tonight, I tried to reconcile the image of the girl I had loved with the woman in front of me. There was similarities yes, but not enough to convince me it was really you. That was enough for my mind to tell my heart that it was crazy, that you were not here, not dancing with me. I was happy to have a beautiful woman in my arms that reminded me of my Odango. But, my heart was right after all. When your companion called you Usagi, and you looked horrified, it all fell into place. It was like a veil being lifted from my eyes. I saw you Odango inside the beautiful woman."
Seiya bowed his head, letting his forehead rest on the cool stone of the railing. His hair fell around him, obscuring his features. Usagi felt rooted to her spot like an ivory statue, afraid to move or even breathe. After a few moments, he stood up slowly, his handsome face etched like marble in the moonlight. Slowly he smoothed the wayward strands back into place and not turning to look at her, he took a deep breath as if he was about to unload a heavy part of his soul.
" So the question remains Usagi, now that we have established that you are indeed really here. Are you really a princess on a diplomatic mission or is there another reason why you have come back into my life?"
Usagi's mind whirled with all she had wanted to say to Seiya in the long years they have been separated, but now she found that she couldn't focus on a single thought; save one.
" I'm here because I love you." She said simply, her voice hoarse with emotion.
Time stood still as Usagi waited for Seiya's reaction. Breathlessly she waited for him to respond either to turn to her or to turn away. When he still did not react, Usagi felt the tears spilling hotly over her cheeks as she contemplated the reality that the tables had turned, and now Usagi had to face a life without Seiya again. The irony was not lost on Usagi. Embarrassed she turned with blurred vision and burning cheeks to return to the ballroom. Abruptly two strong arms wrapped around her, stopping her and pressing her into his warm body behind her. Turning, she found herself staring into the most beautiful blue eyes that she knew she had ever seen or ever will. Cupping her face in his hands, he wiped away her tears and traced his fingertips along the sensitive skin of her neck, pausing to caress her lips. " Odango.." he breathed, his voice low and sensuous, giving her goosebumps as his breath came in contact with her cool skin. " I saw the kiss that you received earlier. Lets see if I can do better than that."
Before Usagi could think Seiya's lips were on hers, his kiss mingling with her salty tears. The passion buried deep within her seemed to explode as she felt her body ignite under his touch, but suddenly the sound of real explosions and people shouting pierced the stillness, making them pull apart, their eyes wide with shock.
~@@@@@~
Chapter 10~
"Dammit Amio!"
Usagi practically threw Amio into a chair when they had reached a safe distance from Seiya and Kakyuu. Now that the initial shock had worn off, fury washed over Usagi; fury driven by the core of fear and doubt that had settled in Usagi over the last few weeks.
"I'm sorry Usagi! I really am! I didn't know that they shouldn't know your real name, honestly!" Amio's eyes widened as he pleaded with Usagi. " Please don't be angry. They probably didn't even connect you with the girl that they from so long ago."
Usagi stood before him, her anger fading slightly as she looked at Amio and found no deceit in his amber eyes. If he was lying, he was doing a really good job. He is probably right, Usagi conceded to herself as she slunk into an overstuffed chair next to Amio, her cerulean eyes pensive as she mulled her options. Seiya and Kakyuu were probably more taken aback by her strange behaviour than by Amio using her real name. Usagi is a rare name, and it might have triggered a long buried memory, but not a full-blown recollection. Usagi felt better now that she was evaluating the situation in a calm and collected manner, rather than letting herself fall into a full-blown panic. Glancing at Amio, she found him watching her guardedly, as if he was not quite sure he was forgiven. ' I must have really scared him.' Usagi thought to herself wryly, ' Who'd have thought I have the power to make grown men quake?'
" Don't worry Amio, I'm not going to chop your head off." Usagi said, patting his hand gently. " I was just in shock. I'm sorry if I came down a little hard on you."
Amio's relief was obvious but he just nodded his head in reply. Watching the myriad of people in the ballroom, Usagi thought of how they all were oblivious of the turmoil in her heart and her true purpose here. Now that she was away from Seiya, she thought about the much-anticipated first meeting. To say that it was electric was an understatement. From the moment she had first touched his hand it seemed her soul was on fire. Usagi closed her eyes at the memory of his body beneath her hands, and his arm clasping her waist tightly. Flushing slightly, Usagi opened her eyes, thinking rightly that this wasn't the right time for those kind of thoughts. Seiya was exactly like she remembered him, charming, a little arrogant but sweet and intense as hell. Now that he was older, these attributes seemed magnified, leaving Usagi more than a little breathless. The downside to the situation was that Usagi still didn't have a clue of what she was going to do. The Queen had told Usagi earlier that the conferences were almost over, therefore in two days Kakyuu and her Seishi would be leaving. Usagi knew that this was her last chance, she would not be given another. Strangely, this reality was slightly comforting, it meant that Usagi would have an answer at least in the next 48 hours. Usagi knew that she had to find Luna, and together they would come up with a plan. At this exact moment though Usagi knew that she needed air....and perhaps something strong to drink.
" I'm going to get some air." Usagi stood smoothing she skirts, " If Luna is looking for me, could you please let her know that I need to talk to her later?"
Picking up her skirts, Usagi turned to leave when suddenly Amio's arm shot out like a serpent and caught her forearm in his strong grip. Startled Usagi turned to Amio who had not moved from his chair save for his arm. His golden eyes were solemn and his face was expressionless as he stared at Usagi. Like a deer caught in headlights Usagi felt frozen in place by his piercing gaze. "Amio?" she queried softly, slightly unsettled by his somber façade.
" Is he worth it?"
" Is wh-"
" Is he worth it?" Amio repeated, interrupting Usagi. Standing he drew her closer until her face was a few inches from his. Placing his hands on either side of her face he captured her lips in a gentle and slightly hesitant kiss. Too shocked to respond Usagi let the kiss continue, allowing its warmth to spread throughout her body. Taking her compliance as a sign that she welcomed the kiss, Amio opened his mouth slightly drawing Usagi in, engulfing her with the passions that he had stored in his core. Almost despite herself Usagi felt the heat rise in her belly as she pressed her body to Amio's, her skin tingling as it mingled with his. To Amio's credit it was a good kiss....a very, very good kiss. It was the kind of kiss that made a girl's bones melt; and with her arms around Amio's broad shoulders, Usagi could almost imagine that it was Seiya she was with. Almost. This realization hit Usagi like a bucket of ice cold water, and she drew back, her lips still burning from their heated exchange. Staring at Amio's handsome face and his once guarded eyes that now sparkled with the intensity of his no longer hidden feelings, Usagi realized that whatever she felt for Amio, it could not compare with the love she felt for Seiya. Even if Seiya rejected her, she still loved him and therefore still had to try. Running her hand through Amio's ginger hair, she brushed a few silken strands away from his amber eyes, stroking her hand on his smooth cheek.
" Yes, he is. " Usagi whispered, the emotions still raging through her.
His head lowered, Amio drew away slowly, his shoulders slumping in a silent defeat. Turning he threaded his way through the crowd that passed by, impervious to what just happened. Usagi watched him go, saddened that Amio was hurt, but realizing there really was nothing she could do. It seemed that she did this too often, first to Seiya, then to Mamoru and now to Amio. The three men that she had let get close to her she had ended up wounding. It was a sobering track record, and suddenly Usagi felt ashamed as she passed through the large double doors of the ballroom to the expansive courtyard outside. Strolling in the shadowed beauty of the garden, she let her thoughts wander as the silence soothed her jagged nerves. In each case she felt as if she was doing the right thing, and had followed her heart even at the expense of her feelings or others. It would have been easier to stay with Mamoru or to give in to Amio's feelings, but she knew in her heart that would not be the right path.
Stopping at a bridge overlooking a small creek, she looked at the Palmian sky with its three moons gently illuminating the gardens with their subdued light. Homesickness and loneliness washed over Usagi like a wave and she wished that she was home, with her friends and her old job. Looking down at the water, she saw her reflection looking serenely back, masking the tumultuous emotions within. Suddenly a droplet of water disturbed the placid surface, and Usagi realized that she was crying. Using her fingertips to wipe away the streaks of moisture, Usagi looked up at the sky and closed her eyes. Slowly, from the recesses of her mind a thought came from the darkness. It was a poem the she had read shortly after the breakup with Mamoru, and it had given her strength in a difficult time. Slowly she began reciting the lines she had memorized those many years ago, finding herself comforted by the sound of her voice reverberating in the stillness.
"Out of the night that covers me, Black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeoning of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gale, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul."
Opening her eyes, Usagi repeated the last lines of the poem, as if to burn them into the very fibre of her being. " I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul."
" That is an interesting saying."
Startled Usagi swung around to see Seiya standing behind her half concealed in the shadows, watching her with half closed eyes. Usagi had no idea how long he had been standing there, or if he had seen what happened with Amio; and Usagi thought it wise not to ask. Turning back to the water, Usagi struggled to calm the rapid beating of her heart.
" It is not a saying, it is a poem."
Usagi could feel the shift in the air as he came to the railing beside her, his back leaning against the stone columns. She could feel his eyes on her but she couldn't bring herself to look at him, not just yet.
" Is it your poem your highness?"
Usagi stood, straightening her skirts almost reflexively. This cat and mouse game that they performed around each other left Usagi's nerves taught like the strings of a violin, and she wondered who would pounce first.
" It is not my poem. A man wrote it from my planet many, many years ago. I found it during an unhappy time in my life, and I repeat it to myself whenever I feel that I need a little strength "
" What brought it to your mind now Princess?"
Shrugging Usagi turned to Seiya, pausing a moment before answering. "Haven't you ever felt a little lost or unsure of yourself, thinking that you have made a mistake? Haven't you ever wanted to silence all the doubts in your mind and remind yourself that you are doing the right thing? "
Usagi watched Seiya's lithe frame leaning against the railing like a crouching panther. His eyes were still covered, concealing his thoughts from her. Slowly, a wry grin crossed his face, the whiteness of his teeth gleaming in the shadows.
" Yes I have Odango."
Turning away from her, Seiya leaned against the railing as Usagi had been, his ebony hair falling over his shoulders, pooling on his hands like silken threads. Cautiously Usagi moved to stand beside him, watching his face reflected on the water's surface. His face seemed neither happy nor angry, just pensive at the turn of events.
" I knew. From the moment I passed you in the hallway today, I knew." His voice made Usagi start, so absorbed she was in reading Seiya's cryptic expression. " I had only felt that..feeling once before, but that was enough. I'll never forget that feeling for the rest of my life, even though I tried. When I saw you tonight, I tried to reconcile the image of the girl I had loved with the woman in front of me. There was similarities yes, but not enough to convince me it was really you. That was enough for my mind to tell my heart that it was crazy, that you were not here, not dancing with me. I was happy to have a beautiful woman in my arms that reminded me of my Odango. But, my heart was right after all. When your companion called you Usagi, and you looked horrified, it all fell into place. It was like a veil being lifted from my eyes. I saw you Odango inside the beautiful woman."
Seiya bowed his head, letting his forehead rest on the cool stone of the railing. His hair fell around him, obscuring his features. Usagi felt rooted to her spot like an ivory statue, afraid to move or even breathe. After a few moments, he stood up slowly, his handsome face etched like marble in the moonlight. Slowly he smoothed the wayward strands back into place and not turning to look at her, he took a deep breath as if he was about to unload a heavy part of his soul.
" So the question remains Usagi, now that we have established that you are indeed really here. Are you really a princess on a diplomatic mission or is there another reason why you have come back into my life?"
Usagi's mind whirled with all she had wanted to say to Seiya in the long years they have been separated, but now she found that she couldn't focus on a single thought; save one.
" I'm here because I love you." She said simply, her voice hoarse with emotion.
Time stood still as Usagi waited for Seiya's reaction. Breathlessly she waited for him to respond either to turn to her or to turn away. When he still did not react, Usagi felt the tears spilling hotly over her cheeks as she contemplated the reality that the tables had turned, and now Usagi had to face a life without Seiya again. The irony was not lost on Usagi. Embarrassed she turned with blurred vision and burning cheeks to return to the ballroom. Abruptly two strong arms wrapped around her, stopping her and pressing her into his warm body behind her. Turning, she found herself staring into the most beautiful blue eyes that she knew she had ever seen or ever will. Cupping her face in his hands, he wiped away her tears and traced his fingertips along the sensitive skin of her neck, pausing to caress her lips. " Odango.." he breathed, his voice low and sensuous, giving her goosebumps as his breath came in contact with her cool skin. " I saw the kiss that you received earlier. Lets see if I can do better than that."
Before Usagi could think Seiya's lips were on hers, his kiss mingling with her salty tears. The passion buried deep within her seemed to explode as she felt her body ignite under his touch, but suddenly the sound of real explosions and people shouting pierced the stillness, making them pull apart, their eyes wide with shock.