If I told you I loved you...
I leaned over the edge of the balcony over looking the city benethe our Apt, all the cars and stop lights flashed up at me. It was a cold summer night, unlike everyother night we had. I heard the glass door behind me open as Matt stepped out. He lit up as i sighed, i had a few thoughts plaguing my mind lately, but they were not something you just run up and tell your brother about whenever you get the chance. He ruffled my hair as he breathed in on his cigg.
"I thought you quit."
"I tried." Matt laughed.
I sighed again. Why wouldnt these thoughts go away, what was it that kept them there for me to continue thinking about them. I had been living with matt ever since our mother went on a rampage and put me in the hospital for 2 months, my arm was still in a sling. Matt rubbed my shoulders from behind.
"You feeling better yet bro?"
"Not worse i suppose." I shrugged.
"Thats good. we need to get your transfer papers tomorrow for you switching schools when it starts back up ya know."
"Its summer."
"Yeah, i know i just wanna get a head start becuz we'll fall behind if I dont, you know me."
I nodded, he was pretty forgetful, but I loved him just the same.
"Your b-day is next week huh? My little brother is growing up." He pulled me into his chest as I whinced at the pain of my broken colar bone rubbing together. "Ah, sorry takeru."
"Im fine, just dont hug me so tight."
I looked up at him as he smiled at me coyly.
"What?" I blushed.
He just laughed as he headed back inside, i stood on the balcony a little longer as I heard Matt tune his guitar, ready to play for a few. I leaned back over the side watching not to bump my colar. i sighed as my ribs ached, they had somewhat healed over the month but my chest was still bruised. Matt stayed with me the whole time I was in the hospital, i dont think he ever left my side. Dad occasionally was there but Matt made sure he went back home to go to work so he could stay and watch over me. I would wake up occasionally just to look up at Matt's smile and his golden locks as he rested his head on my bed, i would try to lift my weak arm just to touch a strand, to feel alive, But i could never reach. No matter how much i strained to touch matt as he slept it was no use, even when i wasnt in the hospital, When i spent the night at his house I would stay awake until he driffted off so i could breathe in the scent of his shampoo and his soft creamy white skin that shined under the moon lit sky that peeked in thru his windows. Matt was truly a great creation, an archangel to me. I rested my head on the cold balcony as Matt voice filtered through the glass outside. It was like an angel signing to the world, i closed my eyes and pretend that he was siging to me, that that song was written for me and was ment only for me to hear. I guess it was true, I was in love with my brother. Deeply in love i guess you would say. i drempt about him, i daydreamed about him, and i even would masturbate to the thought of his touch in the shower. Yes I was in love, the wrong kinda love most would say, but how could something that felt so right, be so wrong? I rememeber my mom coming home from the bar nagging on me about how she always knew my brother would try to do something to me one day, but only i always figured it would be vice versa and I would be trying to do stuff to him. Either way I wanted to be with im like no other, he was meant for me. He understood me, no one can ever love me like I know Yamato can.
"Are you coming in takeru?"
I turned to him slowly shaking the tears from my eyes, i nodded as he left the door open for me and turned away, I wiped my eyes and walked towards the door taking one last sniff of the odaiba air and the sight of the city, closing the door behind me I turned to find myself caught up in an embrace with Matt as he held me tight.
"Im sorry." Matt whispered to me.
I blushed as i look at him in question, What did he have to be sorry about?
"Huh?"
"For not being there for you, for just up and leaving you there with mom, to go off and do my own thing with out you. Im sorry, please Takeru dont turn me away."
I lowered my eyes, Was I turning matt away?
"If I have Im sorry Yamato, I dont want to go on with out you, and all that matters to me is that i have you now."
I Lifted my arm to wrap around his waist to hold him back, Breathing in his scent he sighed in relieve. I wanted to stay like this, forever if possible. Me and yamato as one, I loved him so. He pulled back slowly as I gazed deep into his whirling eyes of oceananic color and mystery. He leaned down slowly and brushed his lips past mine, my eyes were wide with confusion and surprise as he forced his lips upon mine. He closed his eyes savering the moment, I stood my grounds as our lips were laced tightly together. How I longed for this moment, my yamato pressing his lips tight to mine. I slowly opened my mouth allowing him entrance to me, he slid his tounge in my mouth with no remorse, our tounges danced as he traced small patterns on the back of my neck, It was magical, this moment. I felt myself growing harder as i was caught up in my own bliss of yamato being this close to me with his tounge inside my searing mouth, his soft lips pressed tight to my feveared ones, his hands tracing over my creamy skin. He pulled away slowly looking down at me, I was crying. I couldnt hold back my joy, he backed away from me in horror and grabbed his coat and headed out the door without another word. I fell to my knees as the door closed shut behind him slowly, he was gone again. I ran my hand along my chest to my erection, a gasp escaped as I barely brushed past it through my pants. It was boiling up inside of me, i couldnt contain this urge. I groped my pants rubbing myself furiously, I threw my belt aside dropping my drawers as I masturbated to the sweet thought of how Yamato just kissed me, the way he smelt lusting for my body. I wanted him. As i reached my breaking point I felt A light touch on my shoulder. I turned to see a parched eyed Yama-kun staring back at me in my position. I knelt before him scrambling to pull my pants back up as he just knelt before me embracing me lovingly. I was blushing 12 shades of red as he caressed my head and plantes kisses on my forehead.
"I terrible." He told himself.
I just knelt before him with his arms thrown about my body, twined through my unruly hair. I breathed in his scent once more, it would probably be the last.
"Im obsessed." I told him quietly."
"What are you talking about T.K.?"
"You...Im obsessed with you yama-kun. I lay in bed at night thinking about how you look laying next to me,with your blonde hair sprawled out all over my pillow, your creamy flesh exposed for my eyes to see, the thought of you being inside me." I sobbed on his shoulder. "I love you yamato, i love you alot."
He held me tighter as I cried into his chest, soaking his coat with my tears.
"Im the one who should be sorry, forever thinking such things about my brother, my own brother."
"Takeru..."
"No matt, i shouldnt be here."
He grabbed me tighter as I tried to struggle out of his grasp.
"Stop kidding yourself takeru, im the one that forced myself upon you." He stroked through my hair. "You belong here, you always have. Theres no where else you could be safe takeru."
My eyes flooded out onto his hand as he wiped them away. He stared into my eyes as he lifted my head with his index finger.
"I love you too takeru."
I leaned over the edge of the balcony over looking the city benethe our Apt, all the cars and stop lights flashed up at me. It was a cold summer night, unlike everyother night we had. I heard the glass door behind me open as Matt stepped out. He lit up as i sighed, i had a few thoughts plaguing my mind lately, but they were not something you just run up and tell your brother about whenever you get the chance. He ruffled my hair as he breathed in on his cigg.
"I thought you quit."
"I tried." Matt laughed.
I sighed again. Why wouldnt these thoughts go away, what was it that kept them there for me to continue thinking about them. I had been living with matt ever since our mother went on a rampage and put me in the hospital for 2 months, my arm was still in a sling. Matt rubbed my shoulders from behind.
"You feeling better yet bro?"
"Not worse i suppose." I shrugged.
"Thats good. we need to get your transfer papers tomorrow for you switching schools when it starts back up ya know."
"Its summer."
"Yeah, i know i just wanna get a head start becuz we'll fall behind if I dont, you know me."
I nodded, he was pretty forgetful, but I loved him just the same.
"Your b-day is next week huh? My little brother is growing up." He pulled me into his chest as I whinced at the pain of my broken colar bone rubbing together. "Ah, sorry takeru."
"Im fine, just dont hug me so tight."
I looked up at him as he smiled at me coyly.
"What?" I blushed.
He just laughed as he headed back inside, i stood on the balcony a little longer as I heard Matt tune his guitar, ready to play for a few. I leaned back over the side watching not to bump my colar. i sighed as my ribs ached, they had somewhat healed over the month but my chest was still bruised. Matt stayed with me the whole time I was in the hospital, i dont think he ever left my side. Dad occasionally was there but Matt made sure he went back home to go to work so he could stay and watch over me. I would wake up occasionally just to look up at Matt's smile and his golden locks as he rested his head on my bed, i would try to lift my weak arm just to touch a strand, to feel alive, But i could never reach. No matter how much i strained to touch matt as he slept it was no use, even when i wasnt in the hospital, When i spent the night at his house I would stay awake until he driffted off so i could breathe in the scent of his shampoo and his soft creamy white skin that shined under the moon lit sky that peeked in thru his windows. Matt was truly a great creation, an archangel to me. I rested my head on the cold balcony as Matt voice filtered through the glass outside. It was like an angel signing to the world, i closed my eyes and pretend that he was siging to me, that that song was written for me and was ment only for me to hear. I guess it was true, I was in love with my brother. Deeply in love i guess you would say. i drempt about him, i daydreamed about him, and i even would masturbate to the thought of his touch in the shower. Yes I was in love, the wrong kinda love most would say, but how could something that felt so right, be so wrong? I rememeber my mom coming home from the bar nagging on me about how she always knew my brother would try to do something to me one day, but only i always figured it would be vice versa and I would be trying to do stuff to him. Either way I wanted to be with im like no other, he was meant for me. He understood me, no one can ever love me like I know Yamato can.
"Are you coming in takeru?"
I turned to him slowly shaking the tears from my eyes, i nodded as he left the door open for me and turned away, I wiped my eyes and walked towards the door taking one last sniff of the odaiba air and the sight of the city, closing the door behind me I turned to find myself caught up in an embrace with Matt as he held me tight.
"Im sorry." Matt whispered to me.
I blushed as i look at him in question, What did he have to be sorry about?
"Huh?"
"For not being there for you, for just up and leaving you there with mom, to go off and do my own thing with out you. Im sorry, please Takeru dont turn me away."
I lowered my eyes, Was I turning matt away?
"If I have Im sorry Yamato, I dont want to go on with out you, and all that matters to me is that i have you now."
I Lifted my arm to wrap around his waist to hold him back, Breathing in his scent he sighed in relieve. I wanted to stay like this, forever if possible. Me and yamato as one, I loved him so. He pulled back slowly as I gazed deep into his whirling eyes of oceananic color and mystery. He leaned down slowly and brushed his lips past mine, my eyes were wide with confusion and surprise as he forced his lips upon mine. He closed his eyes savering the moment, I stood my grounds as our lips were laced tightly together. How I longed for this moment, my yamato pressing his lips tight to mine. I slowly opened my mouth allowing him entrance to me, he slid his tounge in my mouth with no remorse, our tounges danced as he traced small patterns on the back of my neck, It was magical, this moment. I felt myself growing harder as i was caught up in my own bliss of yamato being this close to me with his tounge inside my searing mouth, his soft lips pressed tight to my feveared ones, his hands tracing over my creamy skin. He pulled away slowly looking down at me, I was crying. I couldnt hold back my joy, he backed away from me in horror and grabbed his coat and headed out the door without another word. I fell to my knees as the door closed shut behind him slowly, he was gone again. I ran my hand along my chest to my erection, a gasp escaped as I barely brushed past it through my pants. It was boiling up inside of me, i couldnt contain this urge. I groped my pants rubbing myself furiously, I threw my belt aside dropping my drawers as I masturbated to the sweet thought of how Yamato just kissed me, the way he smelt lusting for my body. I wanted him. As i reached my breaking point I felt A light touch on my shoulder. I turned to see a parched eyed Yama-kun staring back at me in my position. I knelt before him scrambling to pull my pants back up as he just knelt before me embracing me lovingly. I was blushing 12 shades of red as he caressed my head and plantes kisses on my forehead.
"I terrible." He told himself.
I just knelt before him with his arms thrown about my body, twined through my unruly hair. I breathed in his scent once more, it would probably be the last.
"Im obsessed." I told him quietly."
"What are you talking about T.K.?"
"You...Im obsessed with you yama-kun. I lay in bed at night thinking about how you look laying next to me,with your blonde hair sprawled out all over my pillow, your creamy flesh exposed for my eyes to see, the thought of you being inside me." I sobbed on his shoulder. "I love you yamato, i love you alot."
He held me tighter as I cried into his chest, soaking his coat with my tears.
"Im the one who should be sorry, forever thinking such things about my brother, my own brother."
"Takeru..."
"No matt, i shouldnt be here."
He grabbed me tighter as I tried to struggle out of his grasp.
"Stop kidding yourself takeru, im the one that forced myself upon you." He stroked through my hair. "You belong here, you always have. Theres no where else you could be safe takeru."
My eyes flooded out onto his hand as he wiped them away. He stared into my eyes as he lifted my head with his index finger.
"I love you too takeru."