Warning: OOC. Yaoi and Yuri. Relena-bashing.
Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing. All I own is the fic. It's my own little demented idea which I happen to love dearly.
**I apologise for any error I have committed in the first three scenes and the ones that are about to come. I am too lazy to change them as of the moment. I will eventually, but not now...
And as I've said earlier, please read and review!!! Any comments or suggestions are greatly appreciated! =)
Enjoy~
Gundam Wing: The Musical
Fourth Scene: The Garden
Duo: I don't know what's worse... Prince Heero's engagement or these damn weeds!
?: Who are you and what are you doing in the garden?
Duo: *immediately turns around and sees a slender figure* Who the hell are you?
?: I asked you first.
Duo: You think I'll tell you who I am? I'm not that stupid! Nobody tells Duo Maxwell what to do!
?: Oh really? What a shame... Duo.
Duo: What the- how the hell did you know my name?!? Aha! You're a stalker aren't you? A rapist? No... a sex-crazed dirty old man!
?: *obviously Prince Heero if you still haven't figured it out* I wouldn't be too sure about that.
Duo: *pales* Anou... Your highness! Forgive me! I had no idea...
Prince Heero: I figured. And you still haven't answered my question.
Duo: Uh... I'm Duo. That's D for divine, U for Un-
Prince Heero: I already know that. When you're trying to act all tough, I would advise you to leave out the Nobody tells Duo Maxwell what to do bit. Baka.
Duo: Who are you calling an idiot?
Prince Heero: Isn't it obvious by now?
Duo: What?
Prince Heero: *sighs* Forget it. I wouldn't want you to lose your only living brain cell trying to figure out what I just said.
Duo: Hey I have more than one!
Prince Heero: Sure...
Duo: *blushes like hell* Anou... I have to go. Now if you'll excuse me *practically runs off and trips over the root of a tree* KUSO!
Prince Heero: Hn... baka.
Fifth Scene: Dining Room
**Prince Heero, Prince Quatre, King Zechs and King Treize are eating breakfast*
King Treize: OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOohhhhhhhh *is still having a hangover from yesterday*
King Zechs: I told you not to drink so much alcoholic beverages!
Prince Heero: *beckons towards Prince Quatre* What happened after I left anyway?
Prince Quatre: Well dad got drunk, as usual. Then dad, dad, and the two queens had some karaoke session. I'm surprised you didn't hear them. I could barely sleep!
Prince Heero: Hn... anything I should know about?
Prince Quatre: Fitting is today.
Prince Heero: Shimatta!
King Zechs: I see Quatre has informed you of today's events.
Prince Heero: I don't want to get married!
King Zechs: Oh come on...
King Treize: Fitting? Oh yeah... darling, am I a winter?
King Zechs: I always thought of you as a summer.
Prince Quatre: Um... actually, with your shade of hair and eyes, you're an autumn.
Prince Heero: *looks at Prince Quatre with raised eyebrows*
Prince Quatre: Oh come on! It's just based on colour coordination!
King Zechs: Oh, Queen Une suggested we decorate the church with flowers. Preferably red roses.
King Treize: I like roses...
King Zechs: I know dear.
Prince Heero: This isn't right! I don't want to marry her and you can't make me! This is cruelty! It's an injustice! I have human rights! *More applause. Dr. J comes in carrying another oscar* AAAUURRRGGHHH! I'm really getting sick of you! *whips out gun and shoots him. The bodyguard drags the body away*
Prince Quatre: ACK! See what violence does?!? See how many lives are... *voice trails off as Prince Heero points the gun at him* Fine! I know when to shut up!
King Treize: Oh... have you informed the maidens about the fitting?
King Zechs: Oh... let's tell them now so they wont be late. Call the messenger boy.
*Trowa comes forward*
Prince Quatre: *sighs*
Prince Heero: ...nani?
Prince Quatre: *blushes* nothing...
Trowa: What may I do for you?
King Treize: Well... I want you to go over to the kingdom of... uh... oh, the kingdom of the two women who were here yesterday and inform them about the fitting. We'll be expecting them at around eleven.
Trowa: As you wish... *walks away*
Prince Quatre: *sighs again*
Prince Heero; Are you okay?
Prince Quatre: Anou... I'm fine... *blushes*
King Zechs: Why didn't you just use your phone?
King Treize: Well... *music starts* (The call)
Didn't think about, sorry
But I don't think you should worry
I'll send a text, especially from me
But then again, no signal and
my battery is low, so you know
King Zechs: We'll send Trowa to the place nearby, gotta go *music ends*
Prince Heero: How absurd...
Prince Quatre: I don't know... It's kind of catchy.
Prince Heero: I'm really starting to have doubts about you...
Sixth Scene: The Kitchen
*Duo is busy helping Catherine*
Catherine: You did what?!?
Duo: Nothing...
Catherine: You called him a stalker, rapist and sex-crazed old man and lived?!? He really must like you!
Duo: I don't think so... *looks up hopefully* you think?
Catherine: No doubt about it...
*Hilde enters the kitchen*
Hilde: Hello fans!! What is up with all of you this fine day?
Catherine: Well Duo had a late night rendezvous with somebody...
Hilde: Seriously?
Duo: Hey, I'll have you know lots of girls (Catherine: And guys...) want to go out with me.
Hilde: With who?
Catherine: Someone really hot.
Duo: Cathy!
Hilde: I have to admit, I always thought you would turn out gay. You proved me wrong. *notices the silence and guilty expression on Duo's face* Oh my go-
Duo: I'm not gay!
Catherine: Stop being in denial, maxwell! You like him and I know he likes you. You can't deny the obvious. It's like saying Princess Relena's a natural blonde.
Hilde: Wait till all the guys hear about this...
Duo: Tell anyone and I swear I'll tell everyone about the time you wet the bed!
Hilde:You have proof? I don't think so! They wont believe you.
Duo: Yeah right. You have a history of being a bed wetter. I happen to know that you couldn't control it anymore this morning.
Hilde: Why you little-
Catherine: Stop it both of you! Make love, not war!
Duo: I don't like bed wetters!
Hilde: And I don't like gay people!
Duo: Careful Hilde, you might get so mad you'll pee your pants. *ducks as a frying pan comes flying towards him*
Hilde: Baka! Who's this special boy of yours anyway?
Duo: Do you really wanna know?
Hilde: yes.
Duo: Do you really really wanna know?
Hilde: Yes.
Duo: You really really re-
Hilde: Damnit Maxwell, out with it!
Duo: Don't feel like it. Bye Hilde *shoves her out of the kitchen*
Catherine: We needed her. She was supposed to chop the onions. Now you have to do them.
Duo: *blinkblink* HHHHHIIIIILLLLLDDDDDEEEEE!!!!!
Seventh Scene: The Room
*Both Princes and Kings are awaiting the arrival of the other party*
King Zechs: *is standing in front of the full length mirror* Ugh! Red makes me look fat!
King Treize: It looks like you have breasts...
Prince Heero: Here we go again...
King Zechs: You're getting sick of me! You're wishing I'm a woman!
King Treize: You're overreacting!
Prince Heero: And Quatre goes...
Prince Quatre: Stop it! We shouldn't be fighting at all!
Prince Heero: Dad glares at dad...
King Zechs: *glares and King Treize*
Prince Heero: Dad glares back...
King Treize: *glares back*
Prince Heero: Quatre panics...
Prince Quatre: Eep! My heart!
Prince Heero: my cue Shove it, Quatre! And then-
*Door bursts open and in comes...*
Princess Relena: HEEEEE-KUUUUUN! How I've missed you so!
Prince Heero: That wasn't in the script...
Queen Une: You've chosen Red?
King Zechs: Yup. Isn't it nice?
Queen Une: Nope...
King Zechs: Oh shut up. What did you choose?
Queen Une: Mahogany
Queen Noin: I think it's burnt sienna!
King Zechs: It's just a different shade of red!
Queen Une: Who died and made you crayola king??? Or queen... oh I give up!
Queen Noin: Une, calm down.
King Treize: I decided that I want it to be purple!
Queen Une: Fine by me. I love purple!
King Zechs: Neon purple is nice...
Queen Noin: Lavander?
Princess Relena: If I get a purple gown, Prince Heero can get matching tights!!
Prince Heero: Six days, twelve hours, three minutes and twenty-one seconds before I kill her...
Queen Noin: So who's your best man?
Prince Heero: Damnit, no wedding! No wedding, No wedding! But if ever, Quatre.
Queen Une: Excellent! We have a perfect date- she's pretty and blonde and an excellent fencer!
Prince Quatre: please not-
Queen Noin: Why, Dorothy of course!
Prince Quatre: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
King Zechs: Isn't that nice, Quatre?
Prince Quatre: It's not! She's scary!
Prince Heero: Everything is scary in your opinion. You're scared of closets-
Prince Quatre: I could suffocate and die!
Prince Heero: Swimming pools-
Prince Quatre: I could fall in and drown!
Prince Heero: Teddy bears-
Everyone; Teddy Bears???
Prince Quatre: Mine was possessed! It kept on saying You're my best friend.
Everyone: *sweatdrops*
Prince Heero: need I go on?
Prince Quatre: I get your point.
King Treize: You know... this is getting boring and I'm hungry.
King Zechs: Come to think of it... we never had a fitting the entire time we were here.
Prince Quatre: Um... where are we anyway?
King Zechs: Fitting room.
Prince Quatre: Since when did we get a fitting room?
Prince Heero: We never did. This is an old torture chamber.
*Everyone looks around and notices chains, whips, swords, knives, guns, cannons, bed of nails, a guillotine and a ton of other things.*
Prince Quatre: Cool... No, Quatre, no! They're bad... I mean... this is a... bad room. look at how sharp those swords are!
Prince Heero: If left alone here with Relena, I could torture her to death...
Prince Quatre: Heero... Hey, Heero! *waves hand in front of Prince Heero's face*
Prince Heero: Nani?
Prince Quatre: It's time to eat. They already went ahead.
Prince Heero: Okay... help me move some of this stuff to my room.
Prince Quatre; What? These weapons of mass destruction? I would soil my pure hands with these things that caused the suffering of many others?
Prince Heero: I still know where that teddy bear is.
Prince Quatre: If we hurry, the soup will still be warm when we get there...
Eight Scene: Dining Room
*Prince Quatre and Prince Heero walk in, sweaty and tired from moving all those things*
King Zechs: Where have the two of you been?
Prince Heero: I'm hungry.
King Zechs: All right dear. Eat up.
Princess Relena: *sugary sweet voice* Hee-kun, where were you?
Prince Heero: *equally sweet voice* digging your grave.
Princess Relena: How thoughtful!
Prince Heero: Moron...
Queen Noin: As I was saying, I think it would look lovely if there was a bottle of red wine on each table. The appetisers, Caesars salad... Main course is...
Queen Une: Ooh! Honey roasted ham!
King Treize: No party is complete without pasta!
King Zechs: What do you think the kids would want?
Princess Relena: Grilled steak and blue marlin.
Prince Quatre: Dunno...
Prince Heero: Geez, what part of no wedding don't you all get???
King Zechs: That's okay. We can always think about that later.
Princess Relena: Oh, Quatre, since you're Hee-kuns best man, Dorothy shall be your escort. She's really excited.
Prince Quatre: Save me...
Prince Heero: At least you don't have to marry her.
Prince Quatre: You have a point.
Princess Relena: My bridesmaids are all my very best friends from school. The flower girl shall be little Mariemeia... Do we have a ring bearer?
Queen Noin: None... I don't suppose we need one?
Princess Relena: You're right. Who's the man who'll marry me and Heero?
King Treize: He happens to be a good friend of mine. Reverend Duke Dermail!
Princess Relena: Excellent! *music starts* (once upon a dream)
Heero Yuy, I thought you were only in my dreams
I think you're incredibly smart and handsome an hot and so keen
And I know it's true and we'll be happy when we get married and-
Prince Heero: Omae o korosu!!!
Princess Relena: Is that the only thing you think about? Honey, a mind is a terrible thing to waste!
Prince Heero: I know. I'm still wondering why they wasted one on you.
Queen Noin: Relena, we already picked out your gown.
Princess Relena; Is it the pretty white one with lots of beads!
Queen Noin: So what are you going to wear, Heero?
Prince Heero: Uh... what I wear everyday.
*all eyes fall on Prince Heero, who is clad in a green tank top, black spandex shorts and sneakers. A crown is placed on top of the mop he calls hair*
Prince Quatre: You're wearing that to your own wedding?
Prince Heero: As I've said before, and will say again, there will be no wedding!!! *stands up* now if you all don't mind I'll-
King Treize: Go for a walk because you want to be alone. yeah, yeah, yeah...
~~~~~
Okay, for a musical it sure doesn't have many songs... Read and review!! Thankies!! =)