"Meet me at 11, at my house," His throaty voice was still ringing in my ears, as I sat shivering in my car.
I glanced at the bright digital clock, which gave an eerie green glow to my entire front seat. 11:34. 11:35.
I was such an idiot.
"Akio... what are you doing tomorrow?" I asked in casual conversation, not a week earlier. I wasn't trying to make plans with him, but we were stretched for conversation, and I was curious.
He ran a hand through his silvery hair and looked up at me with those intense beautiful eyes. He didn't have to say a word, and I'd be entertained for hours.
I can only console myself with memories of him and me, in his car. I had injured my ankle playing basketball, but he embraced me when we were alone, kissing my ankle and foot, and then coming up to kiss my neck, my lips, and telling me how he thought of me.
Some consolation, what does that show me?! That I'm weak. He lied. He completely led me on, fed me lie after lie because he knew I'd bow to his wishes, follow some stupid childish fantasy and hope that perhaps, he was my prince. I'm not so weak, why did I cave it? I'm not weak!! I'M NOT!
11:58. Too late. I had to leave, before I stayed here all night in hopes he'd show up. Where could he be at this hour? Why isn't he home, meeting me like he promised? Why... if... he...
I jolted suddenly. 3:02. I'd fallen asleep. I shivered, my toes and nose were numb and my arms were freezing. I turned on the car and cranked the heat, but as I looked outside, I saw his car pull in. I was hidden behind a truck, on the other side of his yard, where he parked his car, so he didn't know I was still there.
"I wonder if he remembered about our meeting," I thought. I could see him through the window of the truck. He stood up, and pulled a little red head out of the car after him. I almost shouted to myself, but it came out as a small gasping, "Oh!"
He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her, a long, sincere, passionate kiss. She seemed to melt in his arms. He then steadied her, gave her one last peck on the nose, and they said they're goodbyes. I was too shocked, too embarrassed, to completely in pain to move, much less confront him. I'd been such an idiot. I knew I'd made myself vulnerable to emotion. And now this is where it'd gotten me.
I couldn't cry, that would only show more weakness. Instead, I waited for him to go inside, and counted to 50. Then I pulled out, and raced home. "I will never put myself in that situation again, I can't believe I was so stupid." I told myself endlessly on the car ride home.
I glanced at the bright digital clock, which gave an eerie green glow to my entire front seat. 11:34. 11:35.
I was such an idiot.
"Akio... what are you doing tomorrow?" I asked in casual conversation, not a week earlier. I wasn't trying to make plans with him, but we were stretched for conversation, and I was curious.
He ran a hand through his silvery hair and looked up at me with those intense beautiful eyes. He didn't have to say a word, and I'd be entertained for hours.
I can only console myself with memories of him and me, in his car. I had injured my ankle playing basketball, but he embraced me when we were alone, kissing my ankle and foot, and then coming up to kiss my neck, my lips, and telling me how he thought of me.
Some consolation, what does that show me?! That I'm weak. He lied. He completely led me on, fed me lie after lie because he knew I'd bow to his wishes, follow some stupid childish fantasy and hope that perhaps, he was my prince. I'm not so weak, why did I cave it? I'm not weak!! I'M NOT!
11:58. Too late. I had to leave, before I stayed here all night in hopes he'd show up. Where could he be at this hour? Why isn't he home, meeting me like he promised? Why... if... he...
I jolted suddenly. 3:02. I'd fallen asleep. I shivered, my toes and nose were numb and my arms were freezing. I turned on the car and cranked the heat, but as I looked outside, I saw his car pull in. I was hidden behind a truck, on the other side of his yard, where he parked his car, so he didn't know I was still there.
"I wonder if he remembered about our meeting," I thought. I could see him through the window of the truck. He stood up, and pulled a little red head out of the car after him. I almost shouted to myself, but it came out as a small gasping, "Oh!"
He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her, a long, sincere, passionate kiss. She seemed to melt in his arms. He then steadied her, gave her one last peck on the nose, and they said they're goodbyes. I was too shocked, too embarrassed, to completely in pain to move, much less confront him. I'd been such an idiot. I knew I'd made myself vulnerable to emotion. And now this is where it'd gotten me.
I couldn't cry, that would only show more weakness. Instead, I waited for him to go inside, and counted to 50. Then I pulled out, and raced home. "I will never put myself in that situation again, I can't believe I was so stupid." I told myself endlessly on the car ride home.