A/N: Ok, I admit. I was seriously high when I wrote this. It's not very
interesting, its not well written.heck, its not even that funny. I just sat
down at my friend's computer and wrote. And here's the result!
More Important Then A Conscience
Chapter one: Lost! My Precious is Lost!
The door slammed open and Will tumbled through, panting.
"What's wrong, dear?" asked Elizabeth, who was trying to look after their fifteen children.
"Something.terrible.happened.." Will panted.
"That's.um.terrible," said Elizabeth, hoping this wasn't going to be like the incident with the child who had called Will a scurvy dog on the street. Her poor husband had been so distraught by the insult he refused to come out of his room for days. Elizabeth loved him, but sometimes William Turner could be a little.well.wet behind the ears.
"It's Jack," gasped Will. He grabbed her and pulled her all the way to the docks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captain Sparrow was standing in a circle of her his crew. Everyone seemed to be avoiding eye contact with the captain, rather like people trying to pretend they're not related to an embarrassing family member.
"What's wrong with him?" Elizabeth asked. Jack didn't appear to be doing anything embarrassing, nor did he appear to be sick. In fact, he appeared to be perfectly normal.
Will only shook his head.
"Jack," he said, "would you like some Rum?"
Jack looked over, smiled, and said, "goodness no, old chap. Too strong for me, ay? Ha, ha, ha."
"He's lost his Inner Pirate," sobbed Gibbs.
"His what?"
"That special part of him that makes him a pirate and gives him his pirate qualities," sniffed Will, "he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't steal. He hasn't got an accent, he doesn't understand pirate slang, he can't even give or take a bribe. He won't go near hookers, he can't sail a ship, and he hasn't cut a single throat for weeks."
"There's no cure," said Anamaria, "I've seen such symptoms before. It would really be best if we let him go."
"You mean, demote him as captain?" gasped Elizabeth.
"What? No, we did that already," said Anamaria, "I mean take him far out to sea and throw him overboard."
"What shall we do with the drunken sailor?" sung Cotton's parrot.
"Well, if there really is no cure." frowned Elizabeth, looking with pity at Jack, who was sniffing some flowers with great zeal, "you better do it."
"Elizabeth! I brought you here to convince them not to!" cried Will.
"Sorry, but I don't think I can stand to see Jack like this," she sighed, "it's not humane to keep him like that. The real Jack wouldn't want to live like this."
"He's got to snap out of it sometime," cried Will, throwing his arms to the sky.
"Once your inner pirate's lost, it's gone for good," said Gibbs, "there's simply nothing else to do."
"Can't we go on a quest to find his inner pirate?" suggested Will.
"That doesn't sound very logical," said Anamaria.
"Well, we have to wait until we've exhausted all possibilities before we give up hope," said Will decisively.
"I agree," said Elizabeth.
"A quest sounds fun," shrugged Gibbs.
And so a quest it was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Where do we start?" asked Gibbs. He and Will were standing on the brig, as the wind filled the Black Pearl's sails.
"We start with Jack's magic compass," said Will.
"I thought that pointed to the Aztec island with the unpronounceable name?" frowned Gibbs.
"I feel sick!" cried Jack, hurling over the side of the ship. Elizabeth came up to join them, shaking her head as she looked back at their erstwhile captain.
"Completely lost his sea legs," she sighed.
"I thought he lost his Inner Pirate?" asked Will, confused. Gibbs and Elizabeth rolled their eyes.
"Well, anyway," said Will, "now that Barbossa is dead, the Magic Compass is bound to take us straight to Jack's Inner Pirate."
"Why?" said Elizabeth.
"Because it just will," said Will, "that's what Magic Compasses are for!"
Gosh that was terrible.hey, tell me what you think! Will the crew of the Black Pearl find their ex-captain's Inner Pirate? Will Jack get his sea- legs back? What on earth did Elizabeth do with their fifteen children? Find out next time in: More Important Then A Conscience, Chapter Two: That's What Magic Compasses Are For!
More Important Then A Conscience
Chapter one: Lost! My Precious is Lost!
The door slammed open and Will tumbled through, panting.
"What's wrong, dear?" asked Elizabeth, who was trying to look after their fifteen children.
"Something.terrible.happened.." Will panted.
"That's.um.terrible," said Elizabeth, hoping this wasn't going to be like the incident with the child who had called Will a scurvy dog on the street. Her poor husband had been so distraught by the insult he refused to come out of his room for days. Elizabeth loved him, but sometimes William Turner could be a little.well.wet behind the ears.
"It's Jack," gasped Will. He grabbed her and pulled her all the way to the docks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captain Sparrow was standing in a circle of her his crew. Everyone seemed to be avoiding eye contact with the captain, rather like people trying to pretend they're not related to an embarrassing family member.
"What's wrong with him?" Elizabeth asked. Jack didn't appear to be doing anything embarrassing, nor did he appear to be sick. In fact, he appeared to be perfectly normal.
Will only shook his head.
"Jack," he said, "would you like some Rum?"
Jack looked over, smiled, and said, "goodness no, old chap. Too strong for me, ay? Ha, ha, ha."
"He's lost his Inner Pirate," sobbed Gibbs.
"His what?"
"That special part of him that makes him a pirate and gives him his pirate qualities," sniffed Will, "he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't steal. He hasn't got an accent, he doesn't understand pirate slang, he can't even give or take a bribe. He won't go near hookers, he can't sail a ship, and he hasn't cut a single throat for weeks."
"There's no cure," said Anamaria, "I've seen such symptoms before. It would really be best if we let him go."
"You mean, demote him as captain?" gasped Elizabeth.
"What? No, we did that already," said Anamaria, "I mean take him far out to sea and throw him overboard."
"What shall we do with the drunken sailor?" sung Cotton's parrot.
"Well, if there really is no cure." frowned Elizabeth, looking with pity at Jack, who was sniffing some flowers with great zeal, "you better do it."
"Elizabeth! I brought you here to convince them not to!" cried Will.
"Sorry, but I don't think I can stand to see Jack like this," she sighed, "it's not humane to keep him like that. The real Jack wouldn't want to live like this."
"He's got to snap out of it sometime," cried Will, throwing his arms to the sky.
"Once your inner pirate's lost, it's gone for good," said Gibbs, "there's simply nothing else to do."
"Can't we go on a quest to find his inner pirate?" suggested Will.
"That doesn't sound very logical," said Anamaria.
"Well, we have to wait until we've exhausted all possibilities before we give up hope," said Will decisively.
"I agree," said Elizabeth.
"A quest sounds fun," shrugged Gibbs.
And so a quest it was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Where do we start?" asked Gibbs. He and Will were standing on the brig, as the wind filled the Black Pearl's sails.
"We start with Jack's magic compass," said Will.
"I thought that pointed to the Aztec island with the unpronounceable name?" frowned Gibbs.
"I feel sick!" cried Jack, hurling over the side of the ship. Elizabeth came up to join them, shaking her head as she looked back at their erstwhile captain.
"Completely lost his sea legs," she sighed.
"I thought he lost his Inner Pirate?" asked Will, confused. Gibbs and Elizabeth rolled their eyes.
"Well, anyway," said Will, "now that Barbossa is dead, the Magic Compass is bound to take us straight to Jack's Inner Pirate."
"Why?" said Elizabeth.
"Because it just will," said Will, "that's what Magic Compasses are for!"
Gosh that was terrible.hey, tell me what you think! Will the crew of the Black Pearl find their ex-captain's Inner Pirate? Will Jack get his sea- legs back? What on earth did Elizabeth do with their fifteen children? Find out next time in: More Important Then A Conscience, Chapter Two: That's What Magic Compasses Are For!