A/n: Wow! I get more reviews with one section than without putting up more chapters, I should make Percy stories more often! :D

I looked at the gray walls. They seemed so cold and heartless, without color or pictures. But wasn't I like that also? I'd left my family, my home for... a job.

Wasn't that cold?

Wasn't that heartless?

I remember when she came to my door, begging me to come back. I slammed the door in her face. Her of all people, my mother. The one who was always so proud of me, the once who had raised me. That was cold and heartless.

I feel great regret to know I can't go back. I could, but it wouldn't be the same. I was already separated from my siblings during school, I'd hate to see how it would look now.

Yes. I have no one. And I can't go back.

So what am I to do?

Go on? Be miserable?

But now that it has started once again, I regret not taking the chance I had earlier, and I want so desperately to be happy, without the weight on my shoulders to be perfect, to do what is expected of me.

I wish I could just die, then it would be all over and I could rest, I am very tired.

But then I would cause her pain again.

Again. And I've caused too much already.

Also, I am afraid. Afraid to die, but also afraid to live. I remember how we hid, how mother cried.

The fear is so fresh.