Author: Kinna
Rating: PG-13 - Gratuitous nudity here. And swearing. So kiddos, get out of here before JKR's lawyers come blame me of corrupting their innocent young readers. Also, probably going to be R soon.
Category: Slash, Humour (At least I hope so)
Summary: AU - Draco Malfoy don't exist. At least, not as we know him.
Due to repeated interruptions of Snape's lesson, Snape transfigures ferret Draco into human form. Sans the clothes. Opps.
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. JKR is the one who mojo-ed them up. I just throw them into the frying pan and let them writhe around
Author's Notes: Ok, from now on I am REALLY going to veer off from the original plotline.
Hmm. Msgs to my dearest reviewers:
Shuo Ri: Yup. Go ahead and use the Draco the ferret to Draco the human idea! I cooped the idea from 'A little ferret loving' and twisted it around in the first place, so it isn't totally original. (In my POV at least). Please throw in a little plug for me though. ;P
As and Nightwing: Yup, I was thinking of how Draco is going to cope with this disconcerting change in environment and acceptable social ettiquete...you two have given me lots of ideas! Thanks! Personally, I don't know of anyone who keeps ferrets, nor do I remember seeing any in my life (except on TV), so I am treating it like a hamster....those tips on ferret-y behavior is really helpful! Oh, and the spell Snape used (seeing his reason for transforming Draco) allows what Draco want to say in his ferret-brain come out as human tongue...though his ferret-brain way of thinking hasn't changed....that much.
Everyone else: Sorry I don't have time and space to acknowledge everyone here, or it is likely the acknowledgemants will run longer than the chapter itself....but thank you so much for all the encouragement and questions.....gave me some good ideas for possible future fics....
Oh, and thanks to Lulu for offering to beta for me......
============================================================================================================= CHAPTER 4
Harry's first instinct was to shove himself backwards, and shove backwards he did. Only he had not taken into account the fact that he was sitting down, and shoving back with his feet AND hands on the table meant toppling the chair backwards. So not only did he fail to extradicate himself from the warm, naked body in his arms, he ended up with a nasty bump on his head, an aching spine, and pinned under said naked body, now somehow straddling him and pressed flushed against him.
'Oh my god, get off...GET OFF!!! -- This is kind of warm and comfy...and the skin is so smooth -- Wait...where did this boy come from -- WHERE'S DRACO?'
Now this litany of thoughts are rather disconnected, and kind of conflicting even, but Harry's panic-addled brain had just failed, so it is rather expected. All he could do was lie there and flail about, so it did not make him feel very guilty to be enjoying the warm body on top of him, since he had nothing to do with its appearance anyway. Or so his libido told himself. That is, until the piercing shrieks of a few of his female classmates broke his reverie.
"Oh my god, I am not looking at the naked boy's ass, I am not looking at the naked boy's ass, I am not looking……" That was the somewhat calm reaction of Hermione as she leaned over and looked at the entangled pair on the floor while attempting to keep her fingers over her eye and muttering to herself.
"Mr Potter, have you been struck dumb? Or do you think I have cast a petrificus on you? I can assure you that you are perfectly mobile. Unless you like spending your time lying flat on your back..."
"I... I..." tongue-tied, Harry gestured to the body lying on top of himself, trying not to blush, but failing miserably. Snape growled, reached down, and grabbed a hold of the boy's shoulders to pull him off Harry. His attempt failed as said boy spun his head around and closed his jaws upon Snape's right hand. Before spitting it out and clinging on even tighter to Harry.
Squeak. "Bad taste," was his first words that Harry heard, set before the background of Snape's muted cursing. "OWW!!! MERLIN'S BALLS! Stupid little bastard……"
Harry was struck by a sudden impulse to laugh. And laugh he did. Until his sides felt like they were in stitches. The strange boy tilted his head back, looked at Harry and broke into an impish grin. "MINE!" That shut Harry up. Just when the question was about to come out from Harry's mouth, Snape finally stopped nursing his injured hand to provide an explanation of sorts.
"That," he grated out, pointing at the boy atop of Harry, "is your ferret. You make sure that I never see him in ferret form again. The spell I've casted will last for a month, you renew it yourself if you want to take him out of your dorm after that. Or I will make sure that he would never again roam the halls of Hogwarts in ANY form, despite what the Headmaster says! Class is dismissed for today!". He turned and swept out of the class, only pausing to have one last word, "And Mr. Potter, fifty points from Gryffindor!"
Harry groaned, then breathed a sigh of relief now that Snape is gone. His brain was still trying to process the news. 'Draco...the pretty boy in my arms is Draco?' *Mental doubletake* 'And pretty? Where did that come from? Never mind, now is not the time to think about that...' Blinking as he saw his classmates still gathered and staring at him, the Gryffindors curiously and Slytherins smirkingly - some had positively lascivious looks - Harry's arms instinctively tightened about the boy in his arms, realizing he was still naked. Shielding as much of the boy as he could with his own robes, Harry looked around...
"Erm...guys...Ron...Mione...anyone...help?"
After multiple mishaps, Harry and Draco finally made it back to the Gryffindor dorms. Harry had managed to get up only with Hermione's help. A transfiguration spell to produce a towel from a handkerchief to drape over Draco and himself, and a levitation spell to get Harry off the ground with Draco still clinging on to him; his dormmates were still snickering too hard to be of any help. When Harry had finally righted himself, he had proceeded to trot back to his dorms as fast as he could, although THAT speed was rather limited as he was literally walking with his hands full - one was trying to hold on to the towel and the other, to support and hold on to Draco. The main problem was that Draco was still naked as he had refused to release his deathgrip on Harry in the prescense of other students, so Harry had a handful of smooth, naked flesh in his grasp wherever he put his hands. To make things worse, the best place to put his hands to support Draco, in his current position, was on (yes, you guess it) his ass. So Harry was hurrying down the staircase like a muggle fire-engine, bright red and in a great hurry, praying to God and every other guardian entity to not let him run into anyone else on the way, with the other boys following some distance behind. Upon finally reaching his dorm room, he had cajoled, begged, ordered and even threatened everyone, especially the mischievious Seamus, to stay out of the room for the rest of the morning. Nothing worked until Ron, whose growth spurt was much more significant than anyone else's, agreed to act as the door guard and physically restrain anyone who comes along. Now he can finally get down to the business of prying Draco off himself.
"Ok, ermm...Draco? You can let go now, we're back, there's no one else here, look..."
The boy-ferret opened an eye cautiously, then the other. (Both had been tightly scrunched closed as he was jostled around during Harry's escape from the dungeons.) Seeing the familiar surroundings, he let go, hopped right onto Harry's bed. Only to emit a startled yelp at the very different feel and vantage his new body now gave him. Suddenly reminded of his predicament, he froze, looking around furtively, then towards Harry for help. "Why--??" gesturing to his new body, sounding quite hysterical.
Harry sighed inwardly. Why me? All this weird things always happens to me... "Draco, you are stuck in this human form because of Professor Snape. This is the only way the old sod would allow you to continue to come with me to classes....I don't know how to turn you back right now....I'm sorry....."
Harry's reassurances did not seem to have much of an effect upon the disorientated Draco, who was still sitting stiffly on the bed. Upon closer examination though, the Gryffindor realised that he was shaking, and dropped into the bed to get closer to Draco. 'Uh on, bad move,' he thought as Draco shot off the bed and ran to the furthest corner of the room, 'he's as skittish as when you first met him on the train years ago. No way am I going to repeat THAT. Besides, he doesn't even have a tail I can hang on to now.' Deciding to go with the gentle approach, Harry inched towards the corner, holding his hands in front of him with palms up to show that he intended no harm in an effort to calm the boy-ferret.
"Draco....there's no need to be afraid....come on....."
Blink.
"I'm sure you recognize me....you understand what I'm saying, right?"
Tentative nod.
Okay, getting response at least. "See, these are just hands...... there is nothing frightening....they are like your paws, you see, except you can't use these for walking....come......"
Tentative pale fingers stretched out and caught quidditch-callused fingers. Slowly moving forward to gather the shivering being in his arms, Harry breathed a sigh of relied as the tense body gradually relaxed against him. Murmuring reassurances, Harry practically carried Draco back to his bed.
"Hang on a moment while I go get a drink, all right?" The now calm boy nodded.
Phew. In all the excitement of the morning, Harry have not had a chance to assuage his thirst, and now his throat was screaming its protest at his negligence. He took the respite to take a few deep breaths. Feeling better, he turned back.
"Draco, do you want..." his brain took a vacation as he realised that Draco had stretched out and made himself comfortable on HIS bed. While still as naked as a newborn babe. He had nearly forgotten aboout that little fact, but now it was coming back to bit him hard in the butt. And some other parts of his anatomy as well.
"I ...I need the toilet....." Harry croaked, and ran off.
"Oh god, you pervert, you are perving on your ferret. Even though he is a boy now...one with a rather delectable ass though...URGH!!! What am I thinking? It's still a male for God's sake! AHHHH!!" Harry stared at his image in the mirror, which of course stared right back. The mirror itself, sensing his distress, kept quiet. After all, it had heard from its neighbours that its predecessor had been, well, his predecessor because it had said the wrong thing at the wrong time to the Gryffindor and gotten itself blown up, although not intentionally. Harry's uncontrolled bursts of wandless magic was something of a taboo subject among the furniture.
After some moments, Harry shook himself. 'Forget it. Just get him dressed, and stop thinking about it. See no evil, think no evil. It'll never happen again. I'm only fascinated to see if he is any different from, er, other normal boys. The old git's spell seems to be anatomically correct, at least......URGH! I'm not thinking about Draco naked AGAIN!!' *Mental slap* 'See no evil, think no evil...see no evil, think no evil....' Harry started mentally chanting to himself. Then shrugged. 'Might as well relieve myself since I am here'
Unfortunately, the Boy-who-lived cannot even pee in peace. In the midst of pee-ing, a truly horrible thought struck him.
'Shit, I don't think Draco the ferret knows how to use the urinal. I'm going to have to teach him. Or maybe he remembers from the trips he came with me to the loo......'
Wait.
'OH FUCK! He has seen me in the loo. And buck naked in the showers too.'
Harry really wished the floor would open up a hole and swallow him now. Perhaps Hogwarts the School would take pity of him and rearrange its architecture for him. He prayed really hard and waited for a good ten seconds.
Nothing.
'Snape, you greasy old bastard, what have you done?'
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