Title: Niphred Ôl (1-2/18)
Author: Quellecristiel
Author's Email: quellecristiel@yahoo.co.uk
Pairings: Legolas/Glorfindel, eventual Legolas/Elrohir
Rating: R
Summary: Legolas is being abused by his lover, but he loves him too much to leave
Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own anything but two paperclips, a pen and a notepad
WARNING: Violence, Rape, OOC Glorfindel, AU (no ring)
Authors Note: I really do rather like Glorfindel, and he's lovely in my other fic, Healing, (soon to be published in Skyfire's zine), but I needed somebody to be the bad guy this time, and I don't like bringing in original characters. I'm sorry to all the Glorfindel fans out there! If you do like this fic, please review and make a poor little slash writer's day...
just in case you missed it.
WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS DOMESTIC ABUSE, RAPE AND BDSM. IF YOU OBJECT TO THESE TOPICS PLEASE DO NOT READ
Please don't flame, and get upset over the rating/content etc. I have posted adequate warning and explained the content of this story, it is your choice to read it or not. Constructive criticism however is welcome- you can't improve without knowing your failings (
Special thanks go to Cheysuli, whose challenge this is the result of, and to my wonderful beta reader Niana Yuy.
(thank you both so much!)
*****************************
AN: Last chapter folks!
Chapter 18
Firloss could tell something was gravely wrong when his father refused to meet his eyes. Expecting to be scolded for eavesdropping with his brothers and sisters outside Legolas' room, Thranduil's eldest son was surprised to be beckoned to follow as his father swept out of the room with the healers in tow. He noted Vanamar had tagged along, looking equally as grave as his father, adding to the crown prince's sinking feeling. What could have happened to Legolas to provoke such miserable faces?
Inside his father's study, Firloss started as Thranduil abruptly turned away, ignoring him in favour of the healers. Perhaps he was in trouble after all? "Speak." The senior healer, a tall male with unusually dark hair for a Sinda and a slim face, swallowed nervously before making his report. "He is fading, your majesty, there is no doubt of it. He is skin and bones, his injuries have ceased to heal and he has become open to infection- his body is shutting itself down. His prolonged unconsciousness is a symptom of the Elven-sickness."
Firloss felt detached, as if none of this was really happening, like it was all a dream. His brother was. dying? The silence in the room was deafening, pounding in his suddenly over-sensitive ears. Growing uncomfortable in the pained hush, the healer who had first spoken attempted a tentative question. "Sire, it might help if we were to know what caused your son's anguish.?" For a moment Firloss thought Thranduil was going to refuse to answer and order them all from the room, so great was the anger and bitterness that twisted his features. Vanamar fidgeted awkwardly to his left, tugging at his damp sleeve and looking down at his boots. It was this bad? Firloss backed away towards the door in anticipation of his father's command, but it never came.
"He was raped."
Firloss felt like he'd been punched. This explained so very much, but at the same time gave rise to a thousand more questions in the place of those answered. A maelstrom of emotions held him; grief, anger, shock, disbelief, sorrow, fear and pity blended and whirled in his head. The need to be by his little brother's side was overwhelming.
Thranduil continued his explanation, seeing the confusion in his eldest son. "He was the lover of Glorfindel while in Imladris; it was a less than even relationship. Over the past few months it deteriorated to the point where he beat and raped Legolas one night. Your brother was found by Elrohir and Elrond, who have cared for him since. He suffered a mental breakdown, and has been deteriorating since. He will speak to none but Elrohir."
The healer nodded slowly. "We suspected that was the case when he saw the nature of his physical injury, but we needed confirmation." Thranduil turned back sharply, seeming to have forgotten the presence of the three. "What can you do for him?" "Make him comfortable. Once fading has begun, it is irreversible without the intervention of the Valar."
Firloss clutched at his stomach, nauseous and dizzy. Vanamar stepped in, lowering the elder youth to the floor, pressing his head down to rest between his legs. "Let the blood flow back into your head." Firloss attempted to nod but thought better of it as the movement added to his wooziness. Legolas was going to die. His baby brother. He should have gone to investigate years ago, he knew there was something wrong when Legolas ceased responding to his letters. How could anyone want to hurt his little brother? Who could do that to another elf?
"What about Glorfindel? What happened to him?" Firloss was overcome with a desperate urge to know what had become of his brother's rapist, a need to know he was suffering. "Whipped and banished." Firloss tasted bile in his mouth. "He should have died." Thranduil sighed at his eldest son's fury; it was a wish he had shared- however, Elrond had managed to talk him around from perpetrating another Kinslaying. "It would have done Legolas no good to taint him with the mark of Kinslaying." Thranduil massaged his temples, fighting the migraine the stress of the evening had caused. Looking to the healers, he spoke quietly; "Do anything you can for him, he must want for nothing these next months. Ease his pain, ensure he is comfortable; he will not be with us much longer."
Realising their dismissal, the three healers took their leave quietly, leaving the family to their grief. "Vanamar, you and I had better change into dryer clothing." "Yes father." He gave Firloss' shoulder one last squeeze and rose, following the healers from the room. Alone with his father, Firloss' struggled to his feet and looked up to his father with wide, bewildered eyes. Ignoring his father's wet garments, he wrapped his arms about Thranduil's neck, hugging him close. Closing his arms about his son's back, Thranduil returned the hug, holding Firloss tightly against him as hot tears added to the moisture clinging to his tunic. "Ada, he will die!" Thranduil placed a solemn kiss on his son's head, feeling the anguish that radiated from the youth. "There might be another way."
* * *
Legolas stared dumbly into Elrohir's pleading face. "Please don't give up on yourself, meldir. Choose life." Legolas blinked slowly. Elrohir just didn't understand, did he? "I don't want to live, Elli. I don't want to live like this." Legolas instinctively clutched his chest. "I'm so tired meldir, I just want to rest." Elrohir lunged forwards desperately, capturing the prince's thin hands in his own. "You can rest, Legolas, you can rest as long as you like. You need never do anything you do not wish to." He brought the hands to his lips. "You will want for nothing, nîn-êl. You can be healed, made whole again."
Legolas looked away bitterly. "Nothing can make me whole again. You don't know- you don't wake screaming every night, you aren't afraid to look in the mirror, you, you." He took a deep calming breath. "You cannot understand this. I just want release from this torment, Elli. Is that so much to ask?" "I watched my mother fade, Legolas. I do not want to stand by and see you die." Elrohir tore himself away from the bed and paced restlessly. "Please, consider this."
Legolas hugged his knees to his chest miserably. Fighting sobs that threatened to break out, he spoke his heart to his friend. "Elli, please; I can't take any more. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I see him behind every corner. I can't even look at my own reflection; all I see is a whore staring back at me. I feel tainted, dirty in a way no amount of bathing can cure. I just want it to end, Elrohir, please don't make this any more difficult."
Elrohir knelt before his beloved, heart aching with pity as the blonde bared his heart to him. "It will end, meldir, I swear it will. Please reconsider, at least give it a try." He lowered his voice. "Please don't leave me." "You will forget." "I love you, Legolas, I would never forget! If you die, I will follow you to the Halls of Waiting."
Elrohir bit his lip as he realised his mistake, but it was too late. Instead of sorrowful and resigned as he had been but a moment before, Legolas looked shocked, almost disbelieving. "You, you love...?" Elrohir kicked himself inwardly. Now Legolas would be repulsed! Cornered thus, he could do nothing but confess the truth. "I do. But I swear to you, I could never hurt you my star."
"You love me." Legolas did not attempt to pull his hand away or recoil in anger, as Elrohir had expected he would. Encouraged by his reaction, Elrohir thought perhaps their friendship might be salvaged after all." "You do not hate me? You aren't afraid of me?" Legolas shook his head. "You really love me? Truly?" Elrohir actually chuckled with relief. "With all my heart, melamin." Legolas looked almost overwhelmed, and Elrohir hastily continued, keen to assuage the blonde's fears. "I understand that you do not return my love, and I would never presume to act upon it. All I ask is you remain of this world, do not give up on life yet."
Elrohir was caught totally off guard when Legolas slipped from the bed to kneel in his arms. Gratified that the prince had not rejected him, he held him close, wrapping his arms round the too-thin back. "Let me take care of you, melme." Legolas pulled back enough to meet Elrohir's eyes. "When do we leave?"
Epilogue Autumn was fast approaching in the valley city, the leaves turned golden brown and beginning their journey to the forest floor. It had been Celebrían's favourite season while she lived here, delighting in the soft crunch of leaves underfoot and the new spectrum of colours the leaves took on. The valley did look extremely beautiful at this time of the autumn, Elrond reflected, the time when the leaves had turned but most still clung tenaciously to their branches.
His musings on the beauty of the city were disturbed by the sound of one politely hearing his throat to announce his presence. He turned round to face the elf responsible for breaking into his peace. His heart quickened as he saw a tall auburn-haired male, dressed in the garb of the Greenwood messengers corps. "Mae govannen, Silinde." The Greenwood elf bowed deferentially. "I am honoured you remember me, my Lord. I bear a message from your son, sire." Elrond took the sealed parchment with trembling fingers, clumsily breaking the seal and opening the folds. Seeing the personal import of the letter, Silinde retreated from the balcony, giving Elrond some privacy.
Fumbling with the parchment, Elrond finally folded it out. Yes, it was Elrohir's script! He began to read hungrily, devouring his son's words.
'To my beloved Ada and Elladan, Be assured that I am well, and had a tolerable journey, though the same cannot be said of Legolas. For him the ride was long and painful, and reopened old wounds in more than one sense. He has begun to fade like our mother, he has lost all will to live and if he remains on Middle-earth, his spirit will surely take flight to Mandos' Halls, and I will follow not long after. Please know it was never my intention, ada, but I cannot live without him.
The fading was happening so fast, I little choice but to pursue this course of action, so please forgive me for the pain I cause in so doing. As you read this, I will be sailing over Sea with Legolas, that he might live and be healed by the grace of the Valar. Please do not be angry, for I love you both beyond all reckoning. This was the only way I could save the life of my beloved. Watching someone fade is a terrible thing as you both understand, and I could not bear another night of his screams of pain. I love him, father.
I have confessed my love to Legolas, and though he has accepted it, it is still to early, too raw, for him to be able to love again. I understand this, and only ask to be near and to be given the chance to take care of him. Thranduil and his children are not yet ready to leave these shores; only I was willing to stay with him- understand that this was the only way. I apologise for not coming to see you first, but speed was of the essence to save what is left of my prince.
I pray your forgiveness and understanding, and know that I will always love you both and think of your constantly. Do not weep, for we will meet again in Valinor when you tire of Middle-earth.
Your loving Elli.'
Elrond stood in shock as he reached the end of the letter. He could barely take it in- Elrohir had sailed for Valinor? His youngest son, his little Elli, gone? Elrond leant heavily on the railings, not trusting his legs to keep him upright.
/ I love him, father/
Elrond sighed heavy-hearted. Yes, Elrohir loved Legolas, and he had made the right decision, the decision that he himself would have made with Celebrían if he had been able. Elrohir was there for the prince when he needed him most; aye, his son had chosen right, no matter how much it pained him to lose his youngest child. He felt his eyes brim, but swallowed back his tears.
Elrohir was right; they would meet again. And until that day, there was another who needed him more.
Author: Quellecristiel
Author's Email: quellecristiel@yahoo.co.uk
Pairings: Legolas/Glorfindel, eventual Legolas/Elrohir
Rating: R
Summary: Legolas is being abused by his lover, but he loves him too much to leave
Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own anything but two paperclips, a pen and a notepad
WARNING: Violence, Rape, OOC Glorfindel, AU (no ring)
Authors Note: I really do rather like Glorfindel, and he's lovely in my other fic, Healing, (soon to be published in Skyfire's zine), but I needed somebody to be the bad guy this time, and I don't like bringing in original characters. I'm sorry to all the Glorfindel fans out there! If you do like this fic, please review and make a poor little slash writer's day...
just in case you missed it.
WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS DOMESTIC ABUSE, RAPE AND BDSM. IF YOU OBJECT TO THESE TOPICS PLEASE DO NOT READ
Please don't flame, and get upset over the rating/content etc. I have posted adequate warning and explained the content of this story, it is your choice to read it or not. Constructive criticism however is welcome- you can't improve without knowing your failings (
Special thanks go to Cheysuli, whose challenge this is the result of, and to my wonderful beta reader Niana Yuy.
(thank you both so much!)
*****************************
AN: Last chapter folks!
Chapter 18
Firloss could tell something was gravely wrong when his father refused to meet his eyes. Expecting to be scolded for eavesdropping with his brothers and sisters outside Legolas' room, Thranduil's eldest son was surprised to be beckoned to follow as his father swept out of the room with the healers in tow. He noted Vanamar had tagged along, looking equally as grave as his father, adding to the crown prince's sinking feeling. What could have happened to Legolas to provoke such miserable faces?
Inside his father's study, Firloss started as Thranduil abruptly turned away, ignoring him in favour of the healers. Perhaps he was in trouble after all? "Speak." The senior healer, a tall male with unusually dark hair for a Sinda and a slim face, swallowed nervously before making his report. "He is fading, your majesty, there is no doubt of it. He is skin and bones, his injuries have ceased to heal and he has become open to infection- his body is shutting itself down. His prolonged unconsciousness is a symptom of the Elven-sickness."
Firloss felt detached, as if none of this was really happening, like it was all a dream. His brother was. dying? The silence in the room was deafening, pounding in his suddenly over-sensitive ears. Growing uncomfortable in the pained hush, the healer who had first spoken attempted a tentative question. "Sire, it might help if we were to know what caused your son's anguish.?" For a moment Firloss thought Thranduil was going to refuse to answer and order them all from the room, so great was the anger and bitterness that twisted his features. Vanamar fidgeted awkwardly to his left, tugging at his damp sleeve and looking down at his boots. It was this bad? Firloss backed away towards the door in anticipation of his father's command, but it never came.
"He was raped."
Firloss felt like he'd been punched. This explained so very much, but at the same time gave rise to a thousand more questions in the place of those answered. A maelstrom of emotions held him; grief, anger, shock, disbelief, sorrow, fear and pity blended and whirled in his head. The need to be by his little brother's side was overwhelming.
Thranduil continued his explanation, seeing the confusion in his eldest son. "He was the lover of Glorfindel while in Imladris; it was a less than even relationship. Over the past few months it deteriorated to the point where he beat and raped Legolas one night. Your brother was found by Elrohir and Elrond, who have cared for him since. He suffered a mental breakdown, and has been deteriorating since. He will speak to none but Elrohir."
The healer nodded slowly. "We suspected that was the case when he saw the nature of his physical injury, but we needed confirmation." Thranduil turned back sharply, seeming to have forgotten the presence of the three. "What can you do for him?" "Make him comfortable. Once fading has begun, it is irreversible without the intervention of the Valar."
Firloss clutched at his stomach, nauseous and dizzy. Vanamar stepped in, lowering the elder youth to the floor, pressing his head down to rest between his legs. "Let the blood flow back into your head." Firloss attempted to nod but thought better of it as the movement added to his wooziness. Legolas was going to die. His baby brother. He should have gone to investigate years ago, he knew there was something wrong when Legolas ceased responding to his letters. How could anyone want to hurt his little brother? Who could do that to another elf?
"What about Glorfindel? What happened to him?" Firloss was overcome with a desperate urge to know what had become of his brother's rapist, a need to know he was suffering. "Whipped and banished." Firloss tasted bile in his mouth. "He should have died." Thranduil sighed at his eldest son's fury; it was a wish he had shared- however, Elrond had managed to talk him around from perpetrating another Kinslaying. "It would have done Legolas no good to taint him with the mark of Kinslaying." Thranduil massaged his temples, fighting the migraine the stress of the evening had caused. Looking to the healers, he spoke quietly; "Do anything you can for him, he must want for nothing these next months. Ease his pain, ensure he is comfortable; he will not be with us much longer."
Realising their dismissal, the three healers took their leave quietly, leaving the family to their grief. "Vanamar, you and I had better change into dryer clothing." "Yes father." He gave Firloss' shoulder one last squeeze and rose, following the healers from the room. Alone with his father, Firloss' struggled to his feet and looked up to his father with wide, bewildered eyes. Ignoring his father's wet garments, he wrapped his arms about Thranduil's neck, hugging him close. Closing his arms about his son's back, Thranduil returned the hug, holding Firloss tightly against him as hot tears added to the moisture clinging to his tunic. "Ada, he will die!" Thranduil placed a solemn kiss on his son's head, feeling the anguish that radiated from the youth. "There might be another way."
* * *
Legolas stared dumbly into Elrohir's pleading face. "Please don't give up on yourself, meldir. Choose life." Legolas blinked slowly. Elrohir just didn't understand, did he? "I don't want to live, Elli. I don't want to live like this." Legolas instinctively clutched his chest. "I'm so tired meldir, I just want to rest." Elrohir lunged forwards desperately, capturing the prince's thin hands in his own. "You can rest, Legolas, you can rest as long as you like. You need never do anything you do not wish to." He brought the hands to his lips. "You will want for nothing, nîn-êl. You can be healed, made whole again."
Legolas looked away bitterly. "Nothing can make me whole again. You don't know- you don't wake screaming every night, you aren't afraid to look in the mirror, you, you." He took a deep calming breath. "You cannot understand this. I just want release from this torment, Elli. Is that so much to ask?" "I watched my mother fade, Legolas. I do not want to stand by and see you die." Elrohir tore himself away from the bed and paced restlessly. "Please, consider this."
Legolas hugged his knees to his chest miserably. Fighting sobs that threatened to break out, he spoke his heart to his friend. "Elli, please; I can't take any more. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I see him behind every corner. I can't even look at my own reflection; all I see is a whore staring back at me. I feel tainted, dirty in a way no amount of bathing can cure. I just want it to end, Elrohir, please don't make this any more difficult."
Elrohir knelt before his beloved, heart aching with pity as the blonde bared his heart to him. "It will end, meldir, I swear it will. Please reconsider, at least give it a try." He lowered his voice. "Please don't leave me." "You will forget." "I love you, Legolas, I would never forget! If you die, I will follow you to the Halls of Waiting."
Elrohir bit his lip as he realised his mistake, but it was too late. Instead of sorrowful and resigned as he had been but a moment before, Legolas looked shocked, almost disbelieving. "You, you love...?" Elrohir kicked himself inwardly. Now Legolas would be repulsed! Cornered thus, he could do nothing but confess the truth. "I do. But I swear to you, I could never hurt you my star."
"You love me." Legolas did not attempt to pull his hand away or recoil in anger, as Elrohir had expected he would. Encouraged by his reaction, Elrohir thought perhaps their friendship might be salvaged after all." "You do not hate me? You aren't afraid of me?" Legolas shook his head. "You really love me? Truly?" Elrohir actually chuckled with relief. "With all my heart, melamin." Legolas looked almost overwhelmed, and Elrohir hastily continued, keen to assuage the blonde's fears. "I understand that you do not return my love, and I would never presume to act upon it. All I ask is you remain of this world, do not give up on life yet."
Elrohir was caught totally off guard when Legolas slipped from the bed to kneel in his arms. Gratified that the prince had not rejected him, he held him close, wrapping his arms round the too-thin back. "Let me take care of you, melme." Legolas pulled back enough to meet Elrohir's eyes. "When do we leave?"
Epilogue Autumn was fast approaching in the valley city, the leaves turned golden brown and beginning their journey to the forest floor. It had been Celebrían's favourite season while she lived here, delighting in the soft crunch of leaves underfoot and the new spectrum of colours the leaves took on. The valley did look extremely beautiful at this time of the autumn, Elrond reflected, the time when the leaves had turned but most still clung tenaciously to their branches.
His musings on the beauty of the city were disturbed by the sound of one politely hearing his throat to announce his presence. He turned round to face the elf responsible for breaking into his peace. His heart quickened as he saw a tall auburn-haired male, dressed in the garb of the Greenwood messengers corps. "Mae govannen, Silinde." The Greenwood elf bowed deferentially. "I am honoured you remember me, my Lord. I bear a message from your son, sire." Elrond took the sealed parchment with trembling fingers, clumsily breaking the seal and opening the folds. Seeing the personal import of the letter, Silinde retreated from the balcony, giving Elrond some privacy.
Fumbling with the parchment, Elrond finally folded it out. Yes, it was Elrohir's script! He began to read hungrily, devouring his son's words.
'To my beloved Ada and Elladan, Be assured that I am well, and had a tolerable journey, though the same cannot be said of Legolas. For him the ride was long and painful, and reopened old wounds in more than one sense. He has begun to fade like our mother, he has lost all will to live and if he remains on Middle-earth, his spirit will surely take flight to Mandos' Halls, and I will follow not long after. Please know it was never my intention, ada, but I cannot live without him.
The fading was happening so fast, I little choice but to pursue this course of action, so please forgive me for the pain I cause in so doing. As you read this, I will be sailing over Sea with Legolas, that he might live and be healed by the grace of the Valar. Please do not be angry, for I love you both beyond all reckoning. This was the only way I could save the life of my beloved. Watching someone fade is a terrible thing as you both understand, and I could not bear another night of his screams of pain. I love him, father.
I have confessed my love to Legolas, and though he has accepted it, it is still to early, too raw, for him to be able to love again. I understand this, and only ask to be near and to be given the chance to take care of him. Thranduil and his children are not yet ready to leave these shores; only I was willing to stay with him- understand that this was the only way. I apologise for not coming to see you first, but speed was of the essence to save what is left of my prince.
I pray your forgiveness and understanding, and know that I will always love you both and think of your constantly. Do not weep, for we will meet again in Valinor when you tire of Middle-earth.
Your loving Elli.'
Elrond stood in shock as he reached the end of the letter. He could barely take it in- Elrohir had sailed for Valinor? His youngest son, his little Elli, gone? Elrond leant heavily on the railings, not trusting his legs to keep him upright.
/ I love him, father/
Elrond sighed heavy-hearted. Yes, Elrohir loved Legolas, and he had made the right decision, the decision that he himself would have made with Celebrían if he had been able. Elrohir was there for the prince when he needed him most; aye, his son had chosen right, no matter how much it pained him to lose his youngest child. He felt his eyes brim, but swallowed back his tears.
Elrohir was right; they would meet again. And until that day, there was another who needed him more.