Chapter 5
It was the weekend; the two days Eric hated the most. He couldn't think of any excuses to get out of the house. And he couldn't use work like he could during the week. Now he wished he had paid more attention when his dad was trying to teach him how to fix things around the house.
He really wanted to get away from Jackie this weekend. She felt it was her fault the baby had autism. When he tried to tell her it wasn't her fault she asked whose fault it was. He blamed it on genes and she demanded that they all get a DNA test so they could figure out whose fault it was. He then tried to explain to her that a DNA test wasn't going to prove whose genes were better then whose. But he didn't feel like wasting his breath. Sometimes it was easier just to go along with her. When the doctor tried to explain it to her, Eric stopped her and reminded her she was getting paid to do nothing. The doctor gladly obliged.
Now he was hiding from Jackie in the basement. He was playing with paint he was supposed to use to paint the dining room with. Kitty had taken Harrison off their hands. She told them to use this time to talk. As soon as she left, Jackie went back to bed and Eric ended up down there. He sometimes worried what would happen when his son got older. Would they have to explain their situation to him? Would he understand? Eric worried about his future. After he found out about Harrison, he went out and bought as many books as he could find on Autism. He wasn't sure how much this was going to affect his life but he knew that either Jackie wouldn't ever be able to work again so someone could watch Harrison or she would have to get a job so he could stay home with him. Eric really thought they should decide, when it was time about Harrison's schooling arrangements. Eric really thought that he should be sent to a public school so he could learn to interact with other children instead of being home schooled.
It made it harder that he and Jackie haven't even talked about it since the doctor's office. He didn't know what she knew about the subject and he also didn't know what she planned out. The subject seemed years away but he wanted this planned out. He truly felt scared for his kid. He knew he wouldn't get to lead a normal life and would get picked on and made fun of. That saddened him. He had to go through it but he didn't want his son to go through the pain. He also knew that the world is cruel and he would experience some form of rejection some time. He just wished he could protect his son from all the bad things in the world.
He had promised himself early on that he wouldn't raise him like his father did and wouldn't call him a dumbass when he didn't agree with what his son did. "Eric," He heard being called down the stairs to him. He got up and went to the bottom of the stairs and saw his mother. "Hi Mom," he said and climbed up the stairs. "Hi honey," she replied "I put Harrison in his crib and brought over some dinner for you and Jackie. She didn't look like she was in the mood to cook," "Yeah," he sighed in agreement.
He felt old, not physically but mentally. He was only 20 and he felt worn out. To much stress and pain. He didn't feel like going out and meeting new people. He didn't do much other then go to work and come home. He was always bored and was trapped in his mind. He knew if he wanted to live long he should find some hobbies but he didn't feel like he had the time. Well not now anyway he had to take care of his son.
His mother gave him a weak smile and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm going to go now," she said and started to walk out of the living room. "Bye," He called after her. She just kind of waved back at him and let herself out.
He knew it was bad when she could feel the pain in the house. She normally didn't come over to their place they went to hers. But he knew this was stressing her out too. He wished he didn't have to drag her into this. He just wanted to get out of it.
He walked to the kitchen. Jackie was in there heating up some turkey and mashed potatoes. Her eyes were red and puffy. He never saw her without make up until that minute. She looked old for her age. He wasn't meaning that out of disrespect but you could already see wrinkles appearing. He wondered if she was dying her hair too. But he didn't want to ask; he knew that would cross the line with her. "Hungry?" She asked not bothering to turn to face him straight on. He understood she didn't want him to see her like this. "Yeah," He answered. "Alright, I'll heat up another plate," she responded.
She walked to the far side of the kitchen and to the counter directly across from the microwave. She pulled a plate out of the cupboard over her. She had to stand on her tiptoes to reach it since she was short. Eric had asked her if she had wanted to move the cupboards down further so she could reach the bottom shelf. She responded no out of spite and had been trying to "prove him wrong" ever since.
She began to pile food on his plate and then stopped. She began to shake. She put her hands on the edge of the counter and leaned against it. Putting all her weight into her hands. Eric walked over to her and hugged her. "What are we going to do, Eric?" She asked pulling back a little bit to face him. "I don't know Jackie," and that was the honest truth. "It's just to much to take," she whispered.
Forgetting about the food they walked back to the living room. They both sat on the couch but one at each end as if they were acquaintances and not a married couple. "He's only a few months old. We have to wait and see what he is like when he is a little older," Eric said logically. "Yeah still to early," she responded. "We can't plan anything until we see what he is like mentally," He explained.
He was afraid that was going to make her cry again but it didn't. She sat there silent. "Do you want to stay home or should I?" she asked dead panned. Then right there he felt sorry for making her stay home. He felt so bad for making her only contact in the world be Harrison and his mom. She must be going crazy in this house, he thought. "If you want to get a job, I'll quit mine. But if you want to stay at home you can. It's your decision Jackie. You're his mother," He responded. "Alright, I'll stay home," she said. He didn't want her to stay home because she felt she had to. He could stay home instead. He knew that being a caretaker to someone would be hard. He made sure to make Jackie get out of the house because it would stress her out more. She needed her free time too.
That was the most talking they ever really did. They knew they had to. She smiled at him. "You're really sweet Eric," She told him. He began to smile but was interrupted by the soft sounds of the tears of their son. She started to get up but he stopped her. "You relax, I'll handle it," He said. She flashed him a quick smile as he walked away. Maybe things would get better, he thought.
It was the weekend; the two days Eric hated the most. He couldn't think of any excuses to get out of the house. And he couldn't use work like he could during the week. Now he wished he had paid more attention when his dad was trying to teach him how to fix things around the house.
He really wanted to get away from Jackie this weekend. She felt it was her fault the baby had autism. When he tried to tell her it wasn't her fault she asked whose fault it was. He blamed it on genes and she demanded that they all get a DNA test so they could figure out whose fault it was. He then tried to explain to her that a DNA test wasn't going to prove whose genes were better then whose. But he didn't feel like wasting his breath. Sometimes it was easier just to go along with her. When the doctor tried to explain it to her, Eric stopped her and reminded her she was getting paid to do nothing. The doctor gladly obliged.
Now he was hiding from Jackie in the basement. He was playing with paint he was supposed to use to paint the dining room with. Kitty had taken Harrison off their hands. She told them to use this time to talk. As soon as she left, Jackie went back to bed and Eric ended up down there. He sometimes worried what would happen when his son got older. Would they have to explain their situation to him? Would he understand? Eric worried about his future. After he found out about Harrison, he went out and bought as many books as he could find on Autism. He wasn't sure how much this was going to affect his life but he knew that either Jackie wouldn't ever be able to work again so someone could watch Harrison or she would have to get a job so he could stay home with him. Eric really thought they should decide, when it was time about Harrison's schooling arrangements. Eric really thought that he should be sent to a public school so he could learn to interact with other children instead of being home schooled.
It made it harder that he and Jackie haven't even talked about it since the doctor's office. He didn't know what she knew about the subject and he also didn't know what she planned out. The subject seemed years away but he wanted this planned out. He truly felt scared for his kid. He knew he wouldn't get to lead a normal life and would get picked on and made fun of. That saddened him. He had to go through it but he didn't want his son to go through the pain. He also knew that the world is cruel and he would experience some form of rejection some time. He just wished he could protect his son from all the bad things in the world.
He had promised himself early on that he wouldn't raise him like his father did and wouldn't call him a dumbass when he didn't agree with what his son did. "Eric," He heard being called down the stairs to him. He got up and went to the bottom of the stairs and saw his mother. "Hi Mom," he said and climbed up the stairs. "Hi honey," she replied "I put Harrison in his crib and brought over some dinner for you and Jackie. She didn't look like she was in the mood to cook," "Yeah," he sighed in agreement.
He felt old, not physically but mentally. He was only 20 and he felt worn out. To much stress and pain. He didn't feel like going out and meeting new people. He didn't do much other then go to work and come home. He was always bored and was trapped in his mind. He knew if he wanted to live long he should find some hobbies but he didn't feel like he had the time. Well not now anyway he had to take care of his son.
His mother gave him a weak smile and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm going to go now," she said and started to walk out of the living room. "Bye," He called after her. She just kind of waved back at him and let herself out.
He knew it was bad when she could feel the pain in the house. She normally didn't come over to their place they went to hers. But he knew this was stressing her out too. He wished he didn't have to drag her into this. He just wanted to get out of it.
He walked to the kitchen. Jackie was in there heating up some turkey and mashed potatoes. Her eyes were red and puffy. He never saw her without make up until that minute. She looked old for her age. He wasn't meaning that out of disrespect but you could already see wrinkles appearing. He wondered if she was dying her hair too. But he didn't want to ask; he knew that would cross the line with her. "Hungry?" She asked not bothering to turn to face him straight on. He understood she didn't want him to see her like this. "Yeah," He answered. "Alright, I'll heat up another plate," she responded.
She walked to the far side of the kitchen and to the counter directly across from the microwave. She pulled a plate out of the cupboard over her. She had to stand on her tiptoes to reach it since she was short. Eric had asked her if she had wanted to move the cupboards down further so she could reach the bottom shelf. She responded no out of spite and had been trying to "prove him wrong" ever since.
She began to pile food on his plate and then stopped. She began to shake. She put her hands on the edge of the counter and leaned against it. Putting all her weight into her hands. Eric walked over to her and hugged her. "What are we going to do, Eric?" She asked pulling back a little bit to face him. "I don't know Jackie," and that was the honest truth. "It's just to much to take," she whispered.
Forgetting about the food they walked back to the living room. They both sat on the couch but one at each end as if they were acquaintances and not a married couple. "He's only a few months old. We have to wait and see what he is like when he is a little older," Eric said logically. "Yeah still to early," she responded. "We can't plan anything until we see what he is like mentally," He explained.
He was afraid that was going to make her cry again but it didn't. She sat there silent. "Do you want to stay home or should I?" she asked dead panned. Then right there he felt sorry for making her stay home. He felt so bad for making her only contact in the world be Harrison and his mom. She must be going crazy in this house, he thought. "If you want to get a job, I'll quit mine. But if you want to stay at home you can. It's your decision Jackie. You're his mother," He responded. "Alright, I'll stay home," she said. He didn't want her to stay home because she felt she had to. He could stay home instead. He knew that being a caretaker to someone would be hard. He made sure to make Jackie get out of the house because it would stress her out more. She needed her free time too.
That was the most talking they ever really did. They knew they had to. She smiled at him. "You're really sweet Eric," She told him. He began to smile but was interrupted by the soft sounds of the tears of their son. She started to get up but he stopped her. "You relax, I'll handle it," He said. She flashed him a quick smile as he walked away. Maybe things would get better, he thought.