Don't get me wrong I love you
The first time I held her it felt like a lie.
Riku was gone and I had turned to Kairi to save my soul.
She was soft and pliant and patient, all of those things that Riku was not. While I loved her I realized that a larger portion of my heart had belonged to the boy with the white hair and that my affection towards Kairi was almost false.
It had taken me forever to find my way back to the islands but she needed to know. She needed to understand what had happened to Riku and what had happened when they opened the door.
There was no magical joining of the worlds. Order was not restored. The light didn't fix anything that the darkness had broken.
Riku was gone, buried in a secluded plot near the door to which hope was a lie.
The bitterness had grown and I could taste it in my mouth. The sour, tangy flavor of anger and mislead dreams mixed within me to produce a bile so awful it could melt metal.
The hope had been stolen from me when the air had been stolen from his lungs.
The light in my heart was shaded by a curtain of unrealized fantasies and desires.
My heart really wasn't there anymore. It was numb. I was trying so hard not to feel the pain that I hadn't realized there was hardly any left. I had hacked away at my heart for months thinking it was fruitless to believe the pain would one day subside. Yet here I was and I couldn't feel a thing.
I could only remember in some sort of casual way the soft weight of his head on my shoulder and the quiet words he spoke, there on that eve of destruction.
I locked the door behind him. I buried the key next to him. I purged myself of every rotten emotion, crying until his unmarked plot was muddy.
There was nothing for it. I had to jump-start my heart and I knew that some how, some way Kairi could help me. But first, I had to tell her; I had to explain what had occurred at the door.
I spoke slowly, coolly absorbing her every reaction as if I were a spectator and not a player in this bizarre scene. She sat with me, tearing up at times, growing angry at others. Finally she broke down and I could go no further.
"He said that he was sorry."