3 - Its A Massacre In There!

{ The Following Day }

If anyone had been inside the home of the Barones, it would have been hard to miss the dark shadow cast by the visage of Raymond peering in through the front window. To his benefit, seeing no one home and knowing the kids were gone to kindergarten, he quietly let himself in.

Attempting to imitate his brother's hoarse bass voice, he called out "Anyone home?"

Hearing no response, he minced up the stairs and into his bedroom. He wasn't sure how long Debra would stay mad at him, but he needed a few weeks worth of clothes just in case. To his absolute horror, when he opened the door to his bedroom he found it in complete disarray. Glass was strewn on the floor, all of the drawers with his clothes were completely pulled out, and all his shirts and pants were ripped to shreds.

To the untrained eye, it might've looked like a robbery. But Raymond knew better. This was calculated and deliberate- this was Debra.

"What the--- holy crap she's gone psycho..." he muttered to himself.

At that moment, Debra Barone strolled in with a fresh scissor in hand.

Raymond yelped and fell back down onto the floor in shock. "Gah, don't kill me! Don't kil--"

She rolled her eyes in disgust and turned around to leave.

Peeling himself off the ground, he yelled "Debra, wait! Don't go!"

Though she ignored his protests, he ran over and grabbed her by the arm. Debra swung around with her other hand that grasped the scissors, but Ray managed to wrestle it from her. Now he held both her hands in a tight grip. "Just wait, okay?! Come on, don't do this--"

The two began to struggle furiously. "Let go of me you two-timing--"

"Stop it--"

"Idiot--"

"Deb--"

"Stupid--"

Tripping over the debris on the floor their skirmish wound up on the bed where their fight resumed. Debra, who was now on top grabbed one of his torn plaid shorts and tried to rub his face in it. Still unable to see, Ray finally bear hugged her right up against him so she couldn't move. She continued shouting in hysterics and squirming violently, but he refused to give.

When he managed to shake the torn shirt that had been covering his face, Ray looked down and found Debra wasn't in hysterics.

She was crying. Softly.

He couldn't think of any words to console her, though he managed to stammer "Um... I-I'm sorry."

Debra sniffled, but didn't respond.

Ray sighed and thought for a long moment. "Look, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. Nothing happened with Jodi... I was just-- I was-- I don't know, I was trying to make you... want me more around the house by having you think I was interested in Jodi. But I wasn't!"

She took a moment to compute what he was saying. "What the hell are you talking about?"

He winced. Going into details always meant more incriminating evidence. "You know, the golfing, the staying late at work. I thought, that if you thought I was--"

"Wait a minute you were purposely trying to get me jealous?!"

Ray shrugged, still holding her in his arms. "Well I wouldn't say purposely..."

"Why the hell would you do that?" Debra demanded.

"I don't know!"

"What about what I saw in the office?!" Debra asked angrily.

"That was still innocent on my part. Well, not so much on hers, she was getting all close to me and I was pushing her away. I told her after you left that she was fired," stated Ray, hoping to get through to his wife. When she didn't respond, he added for good measure, "I mean, you know me. I'm not the kind of guy that goes around touching attractive women's br--"


"Okay Ray," Debra cut him off flatly, obviously unconvinced by his outright exaageration. She shook her head, still flustered. "You know Ray, I believe you, I'm not sure why but I do. I'm still mad that you would use that girl to make me jealous..." She paused. "Still, I guess we're even since you have no clothes left."

"Yeah, thanks."

She looked up at him. "I just don't understand why you would do something like that!"

Trying to avoid her piercing gaze, he said "I-- I dunno, I guess I just..."

"What?"

"I miss you," he said at last, rather quietly.

She squinted. "What the hell are you talking about? I'm home all the time."

Ray sighed. He certainly didn't have a way with words. "Yeah, you're here, here, but-- what I mean is-- I miss you." For lack of anything better, he repeated the same words, but this time he saw her features soften up considerably.

Debra now understood that it was his strange, monosyllabic way of saying that he actually wanted to spend more time with her. She shook her head. Only Raymond could come close to breaking her heart just to say something so simple. But, it was Raymond, after all. His words took some of the edge off her frustration, but not her anger.

Tilting his head right, Ray peered at another object lying on the bed with him. "What's this?"

"What?"

For the first time, he let one hand go of her and reached for the items. Shifting his eyes into focus, he held it above him and saw that it was a ticket stub, a receipt from Cipriani's, and a piece of cloth from a blouse. It had to be, for it had a feminine design and color. "This is from our first date, isn't it?"

She smiled a little. "Yes, it is."

He rubbed the swatch of cloth between his fingers. "This is what you wore..."

"You remembered?" Debra reached for it and sniffed it.

"Of course, are you kidding?" Ray said as he looked at the stub and the receipt. "That was so long ago, why did you keep these?"

"Well I was going to burn all of it until I came up with Plan B with the scissors," she said with an cruel smile.

Ray wasn't really paying attention, lost in thought. "Wow, I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was so nervous and...."