Disclaimer: I do not own any of the songs that I have copied. They belong
to their rightful owners and record companies. I only made Parodies from
them as a joke to make other people laugh, because that's what we need
right now in our countries time of need, laughter.
A/N: I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!! Note that what the chapter title says is what it means. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinsons sit alone on a stone bench in the Slitherin common room. Draco gazes into her big bulldog-like eyes as she gazes into his pale girly ones.
"You know Draco. There's no one here accept us." Pansy says in a hopeful voice still gazing into his eyes like some over sized lovesick ugly puppy. "We can get away with a whole lot. yeh know?"
Draco nods, his silvery hair falling in front of his face. " Yea I know." He fights the urge to say something smart like the usual Draco. "Don't we. always get away with stuff though?" He says, his voice a little screwed up from fighting the urge.
Pansy tries to straighten up her posture, but fails with an embarrassing pass of gas from her hind parts. She tries to play it off by saying that the chair just made a funny noise as when she sees Draco's face has an even more disgusted look than normal.
Draco looks up at the ceiling 'God.' He thinks to himself 'If I weren't so sick of screwing my mother and imagining Potter I would not be doing this.' He looks at Pansy again, seeing a bit of drewl dripping down her lip and fights the urge to throw up. 'Well." He thinks 'I got to do who I got to do.' He leans over to her until his face his about 2 inches away from hers. Then whispers while sliding his hands down her flabby waist:
[Pansy:] Mmmhh,sssllllll That feels so good!!!!!!!!!
Draco looks at her face as he moans and feels his stomach turn 'God. I must be a horny little bastard.' He thinks.
[Draco:]
Feels good ugly?
He coughs and she opens her eyes and glares at him.
Pansy: What was that all about?
Draco: Nothing nothing. I said Pansy. I swear.
She glares at him again then leans back on the bench. He leans in with her.
[Pansy:] Yeeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......
[Draco:]
Yeah?
[Pansy:]
hahaha..Talk to me...
[Draco:]
You want me to tell you somethin?
[Pansy:]
Uh huh...
[Draco:]
I know what you wanna hear...
(HE secretly thinks to himself that he knows what he wants to hear.)
I know you want me baby I think I want you too...
[Pansy:]
I think I love you baby.
[Draco:]
I think I love you too...
I'm here to save you girl,
Come be in Draco's world,
I wanna do magic together,
Let's let our love unfurl.
You know you want me baby,
You know I want you too,
They call me Magicman,
I'm here to rescue you,
i wanna save you girl,
come be in Draco's world...
[Pansy:]
oh boy you drive me crazy...
[Draco thinks:]
Bitch you make me hurl...
Draco suddenly appears on stage in the Great Hall. He looks at himself shocked at what he has on: Baggy jeans that look like they were Dudley's before Draco ever put them on, A baseball cap over his already bleached blond hair (Didn't know that it was bleached did ya. DID YA?) Black Converses, 5 platinum chains around his neck which makes in slouch, and a white wife beater that he feels really self conscious in, do to his lack of muscles.
People start filling in the Great hall, most stop to look up at him wondering what the hell is he doing, other fall down in a faint from shock or roll on the floor laughing. 'What.Why are all these people here after hours?' He thinks 'Why am I here?' He looks around and sighs a sigh of relief 'Well thank god I'm not in the Dungeons doing Pansy.'
All of a sudden music starts blaring from some hidden speakers and before he can start himself he starts to sing. no RAP.
[Draco:]
They call me Magicman,
Jinx tall foes in a single bound,
I'm single now,
Always been and I'm gonna be now,
I'll never let my mother bring me down,
In a relationship, save it bitch, Do your homework? you make me sick,
Magicman aint hexin shit, Flitwick you can jump on Draco's dick,
(People fall out of their seats.)
Straight from the hip, cut to the chase,
I'll tell a mu'fuckin fag to his face,
Play no games, say no names, ever since I got punched by whats his face,
I'm a different man, kiss my ass, kiss my lips, bitch why ask?
Kiss my knuts, hit my cash, i'd rather like it if you whip my ass,
Don't put out? i'll put you out,
Won't get out? i'll push you out,
wand all out, conjuring shit,
Wouldn't piss on fire to put you out,
Am I too nice? buy you ice,
If a deatheater died I wouldn't even buy him life
What you tryin to be, my new wife?
What you Pansy? fly through twice,
But I do know one thing though,
Witches they come, they go,
Saturday through sunday monday,
Monday through Sunday yo,
Maybe i'll love you one day,
Maybe we'll someday grow,
Till then just sit your drunk ass on that fuckin broomstick hoe...
[Chorus:]
'Cuz I can't be your magicman,
Can't be your magicman,
Can't be your magicman,
Can't be your magicman,
i can't be your magicman,
Can't be your magicman,
Can't be your ferretman,
Opps, I mean your superman.
[Draco:]
Don't get me wrong,
I love these foes,
It's no secret,
Everybody knows,
Yea I'm gay,
Bitch so what?
I wont go all the way down on Neville though,
We'll be friends,
I'll trip you again,
I'll chase you around every pub you attend,
Never know what kind of invisibility cloak I'll be in,
[Everyone screams]
We'll see how much you'll be partying then,
You don't want that,
Neither do I,
I don't wanna flip when I see you with guys,
Too much pride,
Between you and I,
Not a jealous man, but guys do lie,
But I guess that's just what sluts do,
How could it ever be just us two?
Never loved you enough to trust you,
We just met and I just jinxed you,
But I do know one thing though,
Witches they come they go,
Saturday through Sunday Monday,
Monday through Sunday yo,
Maybe I'll love you one day,
Maybe we'll someday grow,
'Till then just sit your drunk ass on that fuckin broomstick hoe...
Over this little period of time, Draco jumps off of the stage. Almost all of the Hogwarts students chase him out onto the grounds. Harry and some other boys including Neville, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, and Lee Jordan got 2 weeks detention for muggle dueling. Professor McGonagall was neither pleased or happy with the boys, as she was the one that gave them all detentions, but she was kind of happy about the fact that Draco Malfoy was gone, as he had to be sent to the 5th floor of St. Mungos because he lost all his sense when he got the crap kicked out of him. As for Professor Snape he took on a rage against Harry but I am afraid that that rage will be put in another chapter of A Horrid Day.
Bitch you make me hurl.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So that was the fifth chapter of A Horrid Day. I say I did a good job. Oh and all of my long-time fans, sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I just started another year of school and finished the 5th HP book. Yes I thought it was awesome. Well I hope you enjoyed. Bonjour!
A/N: I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!! Note that what the chapter title says is what it means. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinsons sit alone on a stone bench in the Slitherin common room. Draco gazes into her big bulldog-like eyes as she gazes into his pale girly ones.
"You know Draco. There's no one here accept us." Pansy says in a hopeful voice still gazing into his eyes like some over sized lovesick ugly puppy. "We can get away with a whole lot. yeh know?"
Draco nods, his silvery hair falling in front of his face. " Yea I know." He fights the urge to say something smart like the usual Draco. "Don't we. always get away with stuff though?" He says, his voice a little screwed up from fighting the urge.
Pansy tries to straighten up her posture, but fails with an embarrassing pass of gas from her hind parts. She tries to play it off by saying that the chair just made a funny noise as when she sees Draco's face has an even more disgusted look than normal.
Draco looks up at the ceiling 'God.' He thinks to himself 'If I weren't so sick of screwing my mother and imagining Potter I would not be doing this.' He looks at Pansy again, seeing a bit of drewl dripping down her lip and fights the urge to throw up. 'Well." He thinks 'I got to do who I got to do.' He leans over to her until his face his about 2 inches away from hers. Then whispers while sliding his hands down her flabby waist:
[Pansy:] Mmmhh,sssllllll That feels so good!!!!!!!!!
Draco looks at her face as he moans and feels his stomach turn 'God. I must be a horny little bastard.' He thinks.
[Draco:]
Feels good ugly?
He coughs and she opens her eyes and glares at him.
Pansy: What was that all about?
Draco: Nothing nothing. I said Pansy. I swear.
She glares at him again then leans back on the bench. He leans in with her.
[Pansy:] Yeeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......
[Draco:]
Yeah?
[Pansy:]
hahaha..Talk to me...
[Draco:]
You want me to tell you somethin?
[Pansy:]
Uh huh...
[Draco:]
I know what you wanna hear...
(HE secretly thinks to himself that he knows what he wants to hear.)
I know you want me baby I think I want you too...
[Pansy:]
I think I love you baby.
[Draco:]
I think I love you too...
I'm here to save you girl,
Come be in Draco's world,
I wanna do magic together,
Let's let our love unfurl.
You know you want me baby,
You know I want you too,
They call me Magicman,
I'm here to rescue you,
i wanna save you girl,
come be in Draco's world...
[Pansy:]
oh boy you drive me crazy...
[Draco thinks:]
Bitch you make me hurl...
Draco suddenly appears on stage in the Great Hall. He looks at himself shocked at what he has on: Baggy jeans that look like they were Dudley's before Draco ever put them on, A baseball cap over his already bleached blond hair (Didn't know that it was bleached did ya. DID YA?) Black Converses, 5 platinum chains around his neck which makes in slouch, and a white wife beater that he feels really self conscious in, do to his lack of muscles.
People start filling in the Great hall, most stop to look up at him wondering what the hell is he doing, other fall down in a faint from shock or roll on the floor laughing. 'What.Why are all these people here after hours?' He thinks 'Why am I here?' He looks around and sighs a sigh of relief 'Well thank god I'm not in the Dungeons doing Pansy.'
All of a sudden music starts blaring from some hidden speakers and before he can start himself he starts to sing. no RAP.
[Draco:]
They call me Magicman,
Jinx tall foes in a single bound,
I'm single now,
Always been and I'm gonna be now,
I'll never let my mother bring me down,
In a relationship, save it bitch, Do your homework? you make me sick,
Magicman aint hexin shit, Flitwick you can jump on Draco's dick,
(People fall out of their seats.)
Straight from the hip, cut to the chase,
I'll tell a mu'fuckin fag to his face,
Play no games, say no names, ever since I got punched by whats his face,
I'm a different man, kiss my ass, kiss my lips, bitch why ask?
Kiss my knuts, hit my cash, i'd rather like it if you whip my ass,
Don't put out? i'll put you out,
Won't get out? i'll push you out,
wand all out, conjuring shit,
Wouldn't piss on fire to put you out,
Am I too nice? buy you ice,
If a deatheater died I wouldn't even buy him life
What you tryin to be, my new wife?
What you Pansy? fly through twice,
But I do know one thing though,
Witches they come, they go,
Saturday through sunday monday,
Monday through Sunday yo,
Maybe i'll love you one day,
Maybe we'll someday grow,
Till then just sit your drunk ass on that fuckin broomstick hoe...
[Chorus:]
'Cuz I can't be your magicman,
Can't be your magicman,
Can't be your magicman,
Can't be your magicman,
i can't be your magicman,
Can't be your magicman,
Can't be your ferretman,
Opps, I mean your superman.
[Draco:]
Don't get me wrong,
I love these foes,
It's no secret,
Everybody knows,
Yea I'm gay,
Bitch so what?
I wont go all the way down on Neville though,
We'll be friends,
I'll trip you again,
I'll chase you around every pub you attend,
Never know what kind of invisibility cloak I'll be in,
[Everyone screams]
We'll see how much you'll be partying then,
You don't want that,
Neither do I,
I don't wanna flip when I see you with guys,
Too much pride,
Between you and I,
Not a jealous man, but guys do lie,
But I guess that's just what sluts do,
How could it ever be just us two?
Never loved you enough to trust you,
We just met and I just jinxed you,
But I do know one thing though,
Witches they come they go,
Saturday through Sunday Monday,
Monday through Sunday yo,
Maybe I'll love you one day,
Maybe we'll someday grow,
'Till then just sit your drunk ass on that fuckin broomstick hoe...
Over this little period of time, Draco jumps off of the stage. Almost all of the Hogwarts students chase him out onto the grounds. Harry and some other boys including Neville, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, and Lee Jordan got 2 weeks detention for muggle dueling. Professor McGonagall was neither pleased or happy with the boys, as she was the one that gave them all detentions, but she was kind of happy about the fact that Draco Malfoy was gone, as he had to be sent to the 5th floor of St. Mungos because he lost all his sense when he got the crap kicked out of him. As for Professor Snape he took on a rage against Harry but I am afraid that that rage will be put in another chapter of A Horrid Day.
Bitch you make me hurl.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So that was the fifth chapter of A Horrid Day. I say I did a good job. Oh and all of my long-time fans, sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I just started another year of school and finished the 5th HP book. Yes I thought it was awesome. Well I hope you enjoyed. Bonjour!