Day 5
Sam
Today met up with Haldir who fainted at the sight of our Fellowship. Stupid Elf. Leia bent down to help him but he started to scream.
"Ah! What a horrible sight! Ewe! Gross! Some one, get this beast off me!!"
Leia was utterly appalled. She slapped him. He apologized and explained he thought it was Legolas. Legolas slapped him too. This is getting good.
Merry and Pippin are trying to teach Threepio archery, stupid hobbits. It is quite entertaining…Haldir wants Artoo. Says he's always been fascinated by the shiny hobbits…asked Han how to use blaster. Haldir's going to regret that. Also, Aragorn tried to take Mr. Frodo with him when he went to argue with Haldir about who got to kill Luke. I pointed blaster at him and he was soon arguing alone.
Mr. Frodo hasn't been eating lately, or sleeping. Says it's the ring. I think it's all the stress from Han and Aragron. So we shaved Mr. Frodo's head and painted his face with neon colors. He is now called Mr. Five-greeto. The hobbits are convincing everyone that he is in fact another droid. Aragorn is now crying. Thinks Mr. Frodo died. Ha, ha! Twit! Han ran to Leia to pout. Stupid princess though, seems to have fallen for new droid. Am going to have a shoot out with her…
Met the Lady of Light, Galandriel. Quite a babe. Seems to be taking an interest in Threepio. Says his coat is perfect for reflecting light. Asked him to stand in her room, so he'd light it up. Artoo is throwing a fit. Says she is slowly taking him apart and using pieces to decorate her room. Threepio denies it. Merry and Pippin told him its good look to give your parts away if you're a droid.
Mr. Frodo, aka Mr. Five-greeto, is in depression. Says he wanted Galandriel to like him. So as I tried to cheer everyone up by singing about fireworks and dancing the chicken dance, Mr. Frodo went to drown himself. Galandriel was already there, though. Tried to take ring. Said she liked him better as hobbit. Gave him a wig. He offered the ring in exchange. She didn't take it, apparently. Wonder what she did take?